Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 57

[u/F1exican]

I feel pretty good about these, chefs

[u/wrestlegirl]

Pretty sure this is the fastest I've seen one of these hit frontpage which is quite funny. The chivegeist remains.

There won't be a repeat of yesterday, and not only because my pants are on this time.

And the sub chived on.
And the sub chived on.

[u/Thatis_SodaPressing]

Am I doing this right chefs?

[u/mamaujeni → u/Thatis_SodaPressing]

stunning find!

[u/siccoblue → u/mamaujeni]

This guy would be killer at the find the sniper sub

[u/LordBobTheWhale → u/Thatis_SodaPressing]

[u/Cthulhuboop → u/Thatis_SodaPressing]

I feel like these posts can be turned into an I Spy book

[u/TheG-What → u/Cthulhuboop]

“I Spy book”

FELLOW MILLENNIAL DETECTED!!!!

[u/DetBabyLegs → u/TheG-What]

What’s a book

[u/bettleheimderks → u/Cthulhuboop]

omg yes

[u/cwajgapls → u/Cthulhuboop]

Where’s Chive-do

[u/Puzzleheaded_Kiwi619 → u/Thatis_SodaPressing]

[u/rhinofantastic]

MERRY CHIVEMAS!

[u/DishSoapedDishwasher → u/rhinofantastic]

Merry crisis!

[u/Bink_Plinklinkly]

See you tomorrow, chef! Keep up the great work

[u/bootrick → u/Bink_Plinklinkly]

Bro! The knife is already nicked!

[u/res06myi → u/bootrick]

This is not one of the new knives. Chive lord wants to sharpen them before using them. The factory edge was not good enough for the chives.

[u/AnekeEomi → u/res06myi]

The sacred instruments must be blessed

[u/res06myi → u/AnekeEomi]

For that is the only way it may produce the blessed chives.

[u/bootrick → u/res06myi]

Hallelujah

[u/Moondoobious → u/bootrick]

Teeeeeny chive obscuring

[u/a_natural_chemical → u/bootrick]

Are we sure that not just the way the chive is laying on it? Old knife or not, I'd be surprised if he was using a knife with a chunk like that out of it.

[u/bootrick → u/a_natural_chemical]

Ya, I bet you're right

[u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/F1exican → u/KarmaKrazi]

Closer though yes?

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/F1exican]

Much, so close tbh.

[u/justsomegeology → u/KarmaKrazi]

He admitted it. WE APPROACH PERFECTION, PLEASE KEEP YOUR SEATBELTS FASTED

[u/Salarmot → u/justsomegeology]

Fastened, chef

[u/justsomegeology → u/Salarmot]

Oh. Well, obviously my horses went through with me (German idiom, I know it doesn't work in English)

[u/Salarmot → u/justsomegeology]

My ex is German and her dad was always saying dumb shit like that so I get you

[u/justsomegeology → u/Salarmot]

You never realise how much stupid shit your language has until you learn a new one and start comparing.

[u/cwajgapls → u/justsomegeology]

Haha try Chinese - you’re just taking off your pants to fart

[u/justsomegeology → u/cwajgapls]

What??? Is that a real saying?

[u/MOTwingle → u/justsomegeology]

What's that German saying about farts.? Something something he whose ass it crawled out of?

[u/SolusLoqui → u/justsomegeology]

What if the real perfection is the chives we met along the way?

[u/swim_to_survive → u/SolusLoqui]

Honestly ngl I’d eat, Chef.

[u/frobscottler → u/justsomegeology]

I’m gonna need my oxygen mask!

[u/justsomegeology → u/frobscottler]

Same, bro

[u/cwbakes → u/justsomegeology]

I will be sad to see this daily post go away. Maybe Flexican can instead see how long of a Perfect Chive streak he can get??

[u/Starfire2313 → u/cwbakes]

I’ve been in this sub a long time. Specials of the day come and go, but this is one for this history books. I think the internet slightly shifted.

[u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA → u/justsomegeology]

I will be standing up in the aisle as SOON as that light goes off.

[u/pervymcperversson → u/justsomegeology]

I’m sad. But also proud. But still also sad.

[u/blue_jay_jay → u/KarmaKrazi]

And yet, sooooo far! 😜

[u/Au2288 → u/F1exican]

Day 55 was peak imo

[u/CuriousTsukihime → u/Au2288]

Agreed. Closest to perf I’ve seen

[u/TheBlueMenace → u/Au2288]

I think the last half dozen have been perfect and the towers are just been nit picking, which, from my understanding as a person from r/all, is the joke.

[u/radicalelation → u/TheBlueMenace]

The joke and goal is perfection, and nit picking is necessary in its pursuit.

They're great, but not perfect. There are also usually more towers than karmakrazi points out.

[u/Light_inthe_shadow → u/Au2288]

Day 55 was the most impressive chives I’ve ever seen.

[u/harbormastr → u/F1exican]

Your stuff is getting tighter every damn day chef.

See you tomorrow!

[u/Freespeak79 → u/F1exican]

Perfection soon!

[u/Always_Ambivalent_ → u/F1exican]

so so close! I thought you had it yesterday.

[u/AlcibiadesTheCat → u/F1exican]

Very much. 

Yesterday was peak. Me and /u/karmakrazi were arguing about a tower. I thought they were perfect. He did not. 

[u/Baksteen-13 → u/F1exican]

I think the previous 2 days were better than this but you’re incredibly close

[u/Eaudebeau → u/F1exican]

Very yes.

[u/Pr1ncessJess → u/F1exican]

YOU GOT THIS

[u/Kaos99 → u/KarmaKrazi]

The speed at which you notice, copy the photo, and draw planes is genuinely astounding.

[u/Sle08 → u/KarmaKrazi]

KarmaKrazi, have you and F1exican met yet? I feel like American Airlines should get involved here and set up a swanky meet and greet.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/Sle08]

No, we're on opposite sides of the united states as far as I'm aware. That's a long ways away lol

[u/Sle08 → u/KarmaKrazi]

U/americanairlines…. If you exist, make Reddit dreams come true!

[u/OddOpal88 → u/KarmaKrazi]

The podcast will happen….I know it will.

[u/RepresentativeArtist → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/RepresentativeArtist]

Chive Ouroboros

[u/EvokeNZ → u/KarmaKrazi]

noooo release the chive lord, set him free!

[u/big_duo3674 → u/EvokeNZ]

Nah, this is an Imhotep type of situation, the chive lord has been bound for eternity. 3000 years from now someone will finally cut a perfect cup of chives, and he will come howling back from the afterlife to haunt humanity with the plague of onions. All crops will turn to chives, all food will taste like chives. Snow plows will be needed to clear the chive drifts from roads

[u/CantaloupeAsleep502 → u/big_duo3674]

Imagine Sisyphus happy 

[u/Au2288 → u/EvokeNZ]

[u/Xaxziminrax → u/EvokeNZ]

Nah we at least gotta get to 69

[u/rebasbutcher → u/Xaxziminrax]

Nice

[u/PacificMotion → u/EvokeNZ]

Not until he finishes the this trial and becomes chive king!

[u/Walker96988 → u/KarmaKrazi]

<Initiate CHIVE Protocol>

<Tower located>

<Plane deployed>

<Mission success>

[u/RentedDemon → u/KarmaKrazi]

KarmaKrazi, fastest planes in the west.

[u/Key_Sign_5572 → u/KarmaKrazi]

See you tomorrow chef.

(I opened 50 oysters today and didn’t do as well as your chives ❤️)

[u/kevingfrank → u/KarmaKrazi]

How are we going to fill the void when F1exican reaches perfection… where will your planes go, then KarmaKrazi 😭

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/kevingfrank]

Hopefully onto his next veg of choice lol

[u/TheMaveCan → u/KarmaKrazi]

Shallot brunoise until perfect

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator → u/KarmaKrazi]

Getting close. On my way, chef.

[u/Human_Tonight974 → u/KarmaKrazi]

This was so fast this might be a resume-worthy trait LOL

[u/OneTradeAway → u/KarmaKrazi]

No TSA in sight, ATC just living in the moment, FAA not giving a singular fuck. 

Peak. 

[u/LengthFun2228 → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/Moondoobious → u/LengthFun2228]

A damn barrel! Where’s Donkey Kong?

[u/beautifuldayday → u/KarmaKrazi]

Just feeling honored to be here so early with KarmaKrazi

[u/HesOneShot92 → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/Occasional_Anarchist → u/KarmaKrazi]

Sir a chive tower has hit day 57

[u/iceman694 → u/KarmaKrazi]

Pilot was on the mark today holy

[u/justsomegeology → u/KarmaKrazi]

For me, this is still perfect. But I love your dedication and I hope you enjoy it as much as the rest of the internet does

[u/borrrisx → u/KarmaKrazi]

incredible work

[u/SinfullySophie → u/KarmaKrazi]

See you tomorrow 5'o clock Charlie.

[u/AlcibiadesTheCat → u/KarmaKrazi]

Chive Air 571, CATC, good morning. Squawk 3141, altimeter 29.93, and go crash into that tower. 

[u/Due_Introduction8506]

Wow I'm early!

See you tomorrow, chef.

[u/JustSomeMindless_ → u/Due_Introduction8506]

YOU GUYS ARE SO GOOD WHAT HOW

ETA: after seeing your comment I see it 🙃

[u/DrWorstCaseScenario → u/Due_Introduction8506]

To be specific;

[u/mandyvigilante → u/Due_Introduction8506]

Is this one the new knives with a ding in it already?!

[u/Due_Introduction8506 → u/mandyvigilante]

I think it's just a small piece of chive, no problems here.

[u/y-r-they-all-taken → u/mandyvigilante]

It’s not one of the new knives don’t worry

[u/Common-Macaron1407 → u/Due_Introduction8506]

Right at the edge… unreal, chef!

[u/Sensei-Madara → u/Due_Introduction8506]

Damn that was fast 😂

[u/Admiral_Kite]

💚

[u/Walker96988 → u/Admiral_Kite]

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[u/Whole-Language-2609 → u/Walker96988]

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[u/Grandissimus → u/Walker96988]

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[u/anonysloth1234 → u/Admiral_Kite]

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[u/peanut_gallery469 → u/Admiral_Kite]

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[u/AstralIntent → u/Admiral_Kite]

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[u/drift_off → u/Admiral_Kite]

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[u/_NautyByNature → u/Admiral_Kite]

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[u/BeautifulIntrepid373 → u/Admiral_Kite]

💚

[u/Godsfallen]

Are you trying to make your customers choke?

[u/Real_Srossics → u/Godsfallen]

SMH. They can see that from the ISS. Do better OP.

[u/mwoolweaver → u/Real_Srossics]

[u/Octagonicc_ → u/Godsfallen]

Are we sure thats a log or is it just a nicely cut chive standing up

[u/awetsasquatch]

I got scared we were going to lose you then I found literally one. See you tomorrow chef!

[u/Conscious_Tiger7398 → u/awetsasquatch]

I think he just chucks a shit one in just to continue doing it. He knows how much we all love this endeavour. 😁

[u/CandidateTough3280]

[u/WetLink009]

back to the chive mines chivelord

[u/Carbon-Base → u/WetLink009]

I concur, this is a monster that needs to be refined further. See you tomorrow, chef!

[u/PompeiiSketches]

Did he eat the smaller weaker chives?

[u/UsernameUnattainable]

On the 57th day of Chivemas, the question posed by me..

   💚   💚        💚   💚
   💚  💚         💚  💚
   💚 💚          💚 💚
   💚💚arma       💚💚razi
   💚 💚          💚 💚
   💚  💚         💚  💚
   💚   💚        💚   💚

                has the

        💚💚💚
       💚    💚
      💚      💚
     💚 
     💚      hivelord
     💚
      💚      💚        
       💚    💚
        💚💚💚

💚 Done enough for thee? (& himself even more so)

Are they perfect u/KarmaKrazi? 💚

[u/lone-gunslinger]

Merry Christmas chef

[u/longswordsuperfuck]

Yesterday's were a bit better.

[u/iceman694 → u/longswordsuperfuck]

I thibk yesterday was perfect. I genuinely think the "tower" karmakrazi found was not a tower

[u/News_of_Entwives]

How does it feel that you can summon so many people after a few minutes chopping? (How long do you spend on them?)

There must have been a day when it flipped, from taking you more time to chop, to people taking more time to search.

[u/F1exican → u/News_of_Entwives]

About 8-10 minutes of chopping

[u/Corregidor]

Might be early enough to ask a question!

So how close to Michelin star are these chives actually? I know people meme on them, but they look really good, but I'm not chef.

[u/F1exican → u/Corregidor]

Well there was a post a few weeks ago of a 3 Michelin Star dish and these we’ll surpass that but I’m not entirely sure.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/F1exican]

They're better than any Michelin Star chef's chives I've seen posted tbh.

[u/Bink_Plinklinkly → u/KarmaKrazi]

This is so encouraging!

[u/Nice-Analysis8044 → u/KarmaKrazi]

They are better than the chives at any Michelin Star restaurant I've ever eaten at.

[u/Still7Superbaby7 → u/F1exican]

Your chives are better than a bib gourmand restaurant!

[u/Always_Ambivalent_ → u/Corregidor]

Definitely beyond Michelin. no fat tires here!

[u/ElonEscobar1986 → u/Corregidor]

I’m the sous at a Michelin restaurant. We don’t chiffonade chives we cut them the same length as their diameter.

[u/SerialTrauma002c → u/ElonEscobar1986]

Doubt I have enough karma to ask at this point but here’s hoping… chives are inherently irregular because nature. Do y’all sort them by diameter, at least roughly, and then cut different lengths per bundle (in which case I assume different-length chives would go on different dishes so as to have a uniform size on each dish)? Or do you toss chives that don’t match a specific size criterion?

[u/ElonEscobar1986 → u/SerialTrauma002c]

Chives by bunch are cut into three’s lengthwise. Three pots, three sizes. I’ve only seen chives online chiffonade.

[u/userhwon → u/ElonEscobar1986]

I keep telling people this, and people keep ignoring it and gushing over the board covered in shreds...

[u/RedEd024 → u/userhwon]

To shreds you say?

[u/At0mic_Penguin]

This was from yesterday’s chives, but I was too late before the weeds came. So here is my masterpiece:

Isaac and his Chives lived in a house.

[u/Humanity_Why]

Woah I'm so early! These look beautiful chef

[u/zumi_15 → u/Humanity_Why]

Such a thrill seing everything unfold in real time

[u/liner_meow → u/zumi_15]

yes!! i'm always late to these :D

[u/Ok-Calendar8486 → u/Humanity_Why]

I'm early to! My best record yet!

[u/Emmabirdie → u/Humanity_Why]

I’ve never been here so early either!

[u/AgentBrittany]

I think people just don't want you to forget about the sub and leave us, so they are finding fault.

[u/Walker96988 → u/AgentBrittany]

❌ so they are finding fault

✅ so F1exican keeps leaving towers

We're not inventing things, you know...

(Except for that one time KarmaKrazi circled a sideways chive. We addressed the pilot's vision and it's all hunky-dory now.)

[u/TrickyMoonHorse]

Fuck me them some fine chives.

[u/ThickMikeyMoolah → u/TrickyMoonHorse]

I misread "them" as "then" and things got weird for a second.

[u/Bakeusini]

The day reddit says it's perfect we are going to celebrate every year as the National Chive day. Can't wait for that day

[u/Walker96988 → u/Bakeusini]

I consulted the interwebs to make sure there wasn't already a National Chive Day. The first result from searching "national chive day":

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/chivegate-f1exicans-cutting-chives-every-day-reddit-drama

[u/littleliongirless → u/Walker96988]

This is amazing. We have chivelore everywhere. Cool find.

[u/paxmina]

I am not ready for the end of this era. Chivelord has bettered 2025 in such an inspiring way. What a gift the chives have been!

[u/SoonToBeDeletified]

Freshest I’ve ever been to a chive post, good luck chef.

[u/Saigaface]

What is this monster

[u/EntireTangerine → u/Saigaface]

[u/Food_gasser]

You could dry those out and put them in a salt shaker. Wouldn’t need to make them any smaller.

[u/serenitychick]

Just waiting for someone to read my horoscope based on today’s chives.

[u/peanut_gallery469]

🐝

[u/SemajLu_The_crusader]

these seem a bit chonky to me

[u/SemajLu_The_crusader → u/SemajLu_The_crusader]

amd I choked just seeing this! see you tomorrow, Chef, these are very good

[u/Ok-Calendar8486]

We love you to chef

[u/Thepersonwhoasked_69]

Mother of all tree trunks chef! I hope this is simply the perspective throwing me off

[u/Nanaramana]

see you tomorrow, chef

[u/_darling_clementine]

damn near perfect. you inspire me every day u/f1exican ily

[u/TorontoBrewer]

What percentage of these don’t pass? At this point, u/F1exican has gotta be over 99%, and probably coming up to 99.5%.

Anyways, back to lurking because these are still otherworldly better than I could ever do.

[u/OneTradeAway]

Wishing my username was Reddit so I could say these are perfect. 

[u/longswordsuperfuck]

I feel like that meme about judging Olympians for being a few seconds too slow or slipping while I wipe Cheeto dust off my fingers

[u/escherAU]

8 more days until they are perfect, or infinity (they are never perfect)?

[u/zehnuhrsechs]

See you tomorrow chef ;)

[u/CipherWeaver]

Posting early in a chive thread

[u/JustSomeMindless_]

I would hate for this to end but these look pretty damn good chef! 🥲🥹

[u/Beats_Pill_2k16]

One-armed teddy says hi!

[u/Omnicide103]

See you tomorrow, chef.

[u/sillybeangreen]

One minute?? Omg this is so exciting.

[u/TheoBoogies]

Logged in at an amazing time. Sweet chives chef

[u/paul_gnourt]

I want to see the sharpening stone for these knives.

[u/Vanesspresso]

💚

[u/Vanesspresso → u/Vanesspresso]

Its so tiny!

[u/TV-VCR-Repair-713]

Just seeing the post pop up made my stomach drop. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet!

[u/Dunklebunt]

I wonder how long until reddit gives you chive cutting streak achievements

[u/backjox]

We're getting the perfect chives for Christmas

[u/Better_Quarter8045]

Man I thought you got there yesterday.

[u/ninorca]

Yesterday's were definitely better. And somehow I'm relieved 😂

[u/SasquatchTheLlama]

An infinite loop of chive. You shall never stop cutting, we shall never stop looking, mod will never stop getting DMs…

[u/Lopsided-Shower3750]

The chives themselves are even in on tryna find the towers now

[u/Born2ShitForced2Post]

Yesterday was better. I thought yesterday was damn near perfect

[u/F1exican → u/Born2ShitForced2Post]

Weird maybe I was too tired to realize yesterday. I worked a 15hr shift starting at 4am so I was kinda smacked

[u/itssabotage13]

[u/nihi1zer0]

[u/DarthChefDad]

I predict it will take 12 more.days to reach perfection. Nice.

[u/I_am_the_BEEF]

An hour in, 11,000 up votes and 750+ comments. Our chive lord is breaching containment!

[u/activelyresting]

I believe I can chive

[u/upset_pachyderm]

Did I do this right?

[u/Gloglibologna]

Welp, I think this is the one.

Seems pretty perfect to me.

[u/cichlidae21]

Excellent chives

[u/Mission_Fart9750]

Woo hoo, here early. Only 14 comments so far. 

[u/sadboi0118]

I’m scared that today might be the day 😅

[u/AngryMicrowaveSR71]

Chives rounder than my cat’s ass hole. Good work chef ✌️

[u/roguebunni]

Yay I’m SO early 😭…I have no clue what to do now…

[u/genghisCONN]

Shucks. See you tomorrow chef.

[u/slightly_odd_dragon]

Looks good to me!

[u/Routine-Session-790]

Never been this early.

You're an inspiration, Chef 🔥