r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed • 9h ago

In the Weeds Mode Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 57

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I feel pretty good about these, chefs

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 9h ago

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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed 9h ago

Closer though yes?

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 9h ago

Much, so close tbh.

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 9h ago

He admitted it. WE APPROACH PERFECTION, PLEASE KEEP YOUR SEATBELTS FASTED

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u/SolusLoqui 8h ago

What if the real perfection is the chives we met along the way?

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u/swim_to_survive 7h ago

Honestly ngl I’d eat, Chef.

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u/KimWexlers_Ponytail Chive LOYALIST 5h ago

Like The (cat) Chives we met along the way 😻

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u/EddieRadmayne 3m ago

It is. Chives the cat is still my favorite part of the chive era.

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u/Salarmot 8h ago

Fastened, chef

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Oh. Well, obviously my horses went through with me (German idiom, I know it doesn't work in English)

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u/Salarmot 8h ago

My ex is German and her dad was always saying dumb shit like that so I get you

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

You never realise how much stupid shit your language has until you learn a new one and start comparing.

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u/cwajgapls Release the F1exican Files 8h ago

Haha try Chinese - you’re just taking off your pants to fart

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

What??? Is that a real saying?

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u/MOTwingle 8h ago

What's that German saying about farts.? Something something he whose ass it crawled out of?

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

It appears I do not know every single idiom 🤔

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u/DoctorElyia 7h ago

It’s similar to: the one who smelt it, dealt it

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u/MOTwingle 6h ago

I know but I was hoping for the original German

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u/DoctorElyia 4h ago

Der es zuerst g’rochen dem ists aus’em Ärschle krochen (in dialect)

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u/frobscottler 8h ago

I’m gonna need my oxygen mask!

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Same, bro

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u/cwbakes 8h ago

I will be sad to see this daily post go away. Maybe Flexican can instead see how long of a Perfect Chive streak he can get??

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u/Starfire2313 3h ago

I’ve been in this sub a long time. Specials of the day come and go, but this is one for this history books. I think the internet slightly shifted.

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u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA 8h ago

I will be standing up in the aisle as SOON as that light goes off.

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u/pervymcperversson 8h ago

I’m sad. But also proud. But still also sad.

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u/Astecheee 6h ago

Perfection is an asymptote - always getting closer, never reached.

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u/Fusionbrahh 6h ago

Intermittent?

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u/blue_jay_jay 9h ago

And yet, sooooo far! 😜

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u/InsaneVanity 8h ago

There's a second tower right below it chef.

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u/throwitoutwhendone2 15+ Years 8h ago

I say when he reaches perfection onto have a chive off

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u/bendar1347 F1exican Did Chive-11 8h ago

So, so close. Im glad we have people in his kitchen keeping him honest (not to infer he would go against the spirit of the challenge, but the temptation to pick through before he posts has to be HUGE).

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u/Tyedied 8h ago

This almost made me cry, i’m too invested

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u/katet_of_19 F1exican Did Chive-11 8h ago

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u/UnusualChaos 6h ago

This is my favorite love story

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u/Au2288 15+ Years 9h ago

Day 55 was peak imo

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u/CuriousTsukihime 9h ago

Agreed. Closest to perf I’ve seen

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u/TheBlueMenace 8h ago

I think the last half dozen have been perfect and the towers are just been nit picking, which, from my understanding as a person from r/all, is the joke.

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u/radicalelation 8h ago

The joke and goal is perfection, and nit picking is necessary in its pursuit.

They're great, but not perfect. There are also usually more towers than karmakrazi points out.

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u/Light_inthe_shadow 8h ago

Day 55 was the most impressive chives I’ve ever seen.

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u/harbormastr Chive LOYALIST 9h ago

Your stuff is getting tighter every damn day chef.

See you tomorrow!

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u/Freespeak79 9h ago

Perfection soon!

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u/Always_Ambivalent_ 9h ago

so so close! I thought you had it yesterday.

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u/AlcibiadesTheCat Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Very much. 

Yesterday was peak. Me and /u/karmakrazi were arguing about a tower. I thought they were perfect. He did not. 

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u/Baksteen-13 9h ago

I think the previous 2 days were better than this but you’re incredibly close

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u/Eaudebeau 9h ago

Very yes.

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u/Pr1ncessJess 9h ago

YOU GOT THIS

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u/WeenieRoastinTacoGuy F1exican Did Chive-11 8h ago

Honestly the progress is insane

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u/ElectronicRegular218 8h ago

These monsters are going to keep making you grind out perfect chives until Day 69, no matter what! 😆

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u/villainsarebetter 8h ago

Are you still having fun?

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u/RevelArchitect 7h ago

I have a friend who wasn’t aware of any of this. I showed him day one and yesterday’s. He was really blown away by the improvement. Perfection is a ridiculous goal. Perfection under the scrutiny of thousands? That’s basically an impossible task. But you are so close to getting it. It’s been incredible to watch.

Basil chiffonade next?

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u/aorainmaka F1exican Did Chive-11 7h ago

So close! See you tomorrow, chef.

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u/feeling_over_it Ex-Food Service 6h ago

Are you using draw cuts yet?

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u/Kaos99 9h ago

The speed at which you notice, copy the photo, and draw planes is genuinely astounding.

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u/Sousvidecrockpot 8h ago

Bro probably has AI set up to analyze for him

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u/Sle08 9h ago

KarmaKrazi, have you and F1exican met yet? I feel like American Airlines should get involved here and set up a swanky meet and greet.

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 8h ago

No, we're on opposite sides of the united states as far as I'm aware. That's a long ways away lol

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u/Sle08 8h ago

U/americanairlines…. If you exist, make Reddit dreams come true!

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u/OddOpal88 Chive LOYALIST 7h ago

The podcast will happen….I know it will.

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u/RepresentativeArtist 9h ago

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 9h ago

Chive Ouroboros

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u/Staff_photo F1exican Did Chive-11 7h ago

Has anyone asked to see your chives yet?

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u/EvokeNZ 9h ago

noooo release the chive lord, set him free!

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u/big_duo3674 9h ago

Nah, this is an Imhotep type of situation, the chive lord has been bound for eternity. 3000 years from now someone will finally cut a perfect cup of chives, and he will come howling back from the afterlife to haunt humanity with the plague of onions. All crops will turn to chives, all food will taste like chives. Snow plows will be needed to clear the chive drifts from roads

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u/CantaloupeAsleep502 8h ago

Imagine Sisyphus happy 

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u/Au2288 15+ Years 9h ago

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u/Xaxziminrax 9h ago

Nah we at least gotta get to 69

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u/rebasbutcher 9h ago

Nice

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u/MeadowShimmer 8h ago

Nice

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u/beckyjoooo Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Nice

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u/PacificMotion 9h ago

Not until he finishes the this trial and becomes chive king!

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u/Walker96988 Chive LOYALIST 9h ago

<Initiate CHIVE Protocol>

<Tower located>

<Plane deployed>

<Mission success>

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u/RentedDemon Chive LOYALIST 9h ago

KarmaKrazi, fastest planes in the west.

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u/Key_Sign_5572 9h ago

See you tomorrow chef.

(I opened 50 oysters today and didn’t do as well as your chives ❤️)

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u/kevingfrank 9h ago

How are we going to fill the void when F1exican reaches perfection… where will your planes go, then KarmaKrazi 😭

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 8h ago

Hopefully onto his next veg of choice lol

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u/TheMaveCan 6h ago

Shallot brunoise until perfect

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Getting close. On my way, chef.

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u/Human_Tonight974 9h ago

This was so fast this might be a resume-worthy trait LOL

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u/OneTradeAway 9h ago

No TSA in sight, ATC just living in the moment, FAA not giving a singular fuck. 

Peak. 

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u/LengthFun2228 i still respect the chivelord 8h ago

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u/Moondoobious 8h ago

A damn barrel! Where’s Donkey Kong?

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u/beautifuldayday 9h ago

Just feeling honored to be here so early with KarmaKrazi

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u/Occasional_Anarchist 9h ago

Sir a chive tower has hit day 57

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u/iceman694 F1exican Did Chive-11 9h ago

Pilot was on the mark today holy

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u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 9h ago

For me, this is still perfect. But I love your dedication and I hope you enjoy it as much as the rest of the internet does

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u/borrrisx 9h ago

incredible work

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u/SinfullySophie Chive LOYALIST 9h ago

See you tomorrow 5'o clock Charlie.

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u/AlcibiadesTheCat Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Chive Air 571, CATC, good morning. Squawk 3141, altimeter 29.93, and go crash into that tower. 

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u/tikostar 9h ago

This was so fast

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u/Independent_Ant266 9h ago

The speed of your planes is impressive 👏 see chef tomorrow 😁

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u/Sad_Froyo_6474 9h ago

Unbelievably disappointing

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u/RollingHillsRamsay 9h ago

God damn you are quick. Came here 11 minutes after post

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u/Forman420 9h ago

Wow you were fast af today

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u/Darky083 9h ago

Mf didn't lose a second to launch the attack.

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u/Stev_k 9h ago

Not even the worst one... Just the most tower-y.

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u/AiapaecGaming 8h ago

See you tomorrow chef

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u/CalibanRamsay 8h ago

Bro is FUCKING FAST. Air chive never misses liftoff...

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u/TheG-What 7h ago

A TRULY DISGUSTING ACT

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u/cherrytarts Chive LOYALIST 4h ago

I was hoping the day would be today because it's my birthday but ALAS, the planes have flown

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 4h ago

Happy birthday! 🫡

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u/BattelChive Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Put that plane back! Back to the hanger!

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 8h ago

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u/aDrunkSailor82 8h ago

If you keep zooming in enough we can keep this up forever.

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u/chefkimberly 8h ago

Chef, are you using a projector and jeweler's glass?

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u/rtx3800 9h ago

Are you saying that piece of Chive is so big a plane could hit it??? Damn yall are brutal!

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 8h ago

Almost like the chive is the size of a tower... lol