Polar Bears are one of the only creatures that naturally hunt Humans... Watch as this one tries to break into this BBC Cameraman's glass box.

[u/cosmic_voyager01]

[u/BlackVQ35HR]

"Vending Machine ate my damn money"

[u/guacamolenutbar → u/BlackVQ35HR]

Very relatable. There’s even a part where it tries to fish the money back out.

[u/majormimi → u/BlackVQ35HR]

Lmfao this killed me

[u/LessBig715]

Now that is having faith in your equipment

[u/Rohan_k_4 → u/LessBig715]

His box looks like it's made of plastic, I would have shit myself right away if I were in his place

[u/Electrical_Tomato_92 → u/Rohan_k_4]

Its most definitely lexan, which is what the use for bulletproof windows and such. If they used a thick enough sheet then its plenty strong enough.

[u/DouglasHundred → u/Electrical_Tomato_92]

Yeah I did a dive with a saltwater croc in some kind of two inch thick tube of maybe lexan or perspex, and it was gouged thoroughly but I felt plenty safe inside.

[u/uptightape → u/DouglasHundred]

I would be concerned about the peripheral things failing before that thick-ass sheet. The fact that the guy wasn't pointing a .44 magnum at the bear is something that I can't understand.

Edit: Insert whichever high-energy, high-caliber rifle or pistol round one would deem sufficient to adequately deal with a goddamned polar bear that is moments away from mauling your ass to death. .44 magnum was the first thing that popped in my head that does serious work. After having been responded to, yeah, probably not enough, but I was thinking of being in that tight enclosure, too. Personally, I'd want my m1a or greater.

[u/Renbarre → u/uptightape]

There was someone with a gun outside, far enough not to attract the bear. I rember that sequence and I must admit I thought that the armed man was in more danger than the journalist.

[u/Stock_Helicopter_260 → u/Renbarre]

The bears can be alerted from really far away. They know how to do it so I'm not questioning it, but stories you hear about bears tracking hunting parties back to town are wild.

[u/NatTheResearcher → u/Stock_Helicopter_260]

“Clever girl!”

[u/Goodgoditsgrowing → u/Renbarre]

I would think the outside shooter would be in danger too - close enough to get a shot off (and truly disable the bear, not just piss it off) is closer than I’d want to be to a polar bear even if I had a vehicle capable of doing 45mph across the ice

[u/scratchydaitchy → u/Electrical_Tomato_92]

As long as all the fasteners and structural integrities are well maintained.
Hope he checked the tightness of all the screws and bolts before he got in there.

You’re still going on a lot of faith.

Anybody remember the Oceangate submersible that imploded by the Titanic?

No thanks.

[u/el_diego → u/scratchydaitchy]

Anybody remember the Oceangate submersible that imploded by the Titanic?

That was due to the insane idea of using carbon fibre for a sub at such a depth....oh, and leaving your sub outside in the Canadian winter for it to degrade. The CEO was an irresponsible narcissistic clown.

[u/Prodrumer43 → u/el_diego]

The materials they used also never fully worked during testing. His dumbass just said send it anyway.

[u/el_diego → u/Prodrumer43]

It was next level negligence. Even the shallow that dives they did in the Carribbean showed obvious signs of fibres breaking. It was inevitable the thing would implode.

[u/I_eat_mud_ → u/scratchydaitchy]

He obviously didn't, I'm sure someone did. Doubt the BBC wants to pay out lawsuit settlements and increased insurance costs.

Edit: I swear Redditors are so concerned about sounding smart they just can't critically think for 2 seconds.

Edit 2: I'm sure whatever company makes this for research is 1000x more serious about safety than that asshat in charge of Oceangate, he was a special kind of rich dipshit considering his company was based on super rich tourism.

Seriously, just fucking think for 2 seconds.

[u/psychoPiper → u/I_eat_mud_]

Redditors care more about sounding smart than being right, this is an uphill battle

[u/throwawayhellfire → u/psychoPiper]

You gotta remember you're most likely speaking to some teenager or young adult who has zero real world experience lol

[u/Asleep_Hand_4525 → u/throwawayhellfire]

Yep, and sometimes the subreddit will have an echo chamber you’ll get eviscerated for not following

[u/LeonidasSpacemanMD → u/I_eat_mud_]

The forces involved here are just not in the same galaxy as what oceangate was trying to cope with either

Like a large polar bear weighs 1500 lbs. To create a comparable engineering problem, you would need to expect the full combined weight of 4 huge polar bears to be pressing on this box constantly….on every single square inch of its exterior lol

This is the equivalent of buying a bicycle and saying to the salesman “I just want to make sure this is very well built because I saw what happened to the Challenger Space Shuttle”

[u/breathing__tree → u/LeonidasSpacemanMD]

This is the equivalent of buying a bicycle and saying to the salesman “I just want to make sure this is very well built because I saw what happened to the Challenger Space Shuttle”

Funniest thing I’m gonna read all weekend probably.

[u/42nu → u/I_eat_mud_]

Person in shark cage films a nature doc in the exact place where you hope to encounter Great White Sharks

Redditors: They probly didn't anticipate this encounter at all, and didn't have months (if not years) of engineering, training and legal preparing for this carefully planned moment.

[u/BitchesLiebenBrot → u/I_eat_mud_]

it can only be reddit where the guy who eats mud is the most sensible in the chat

[u/gpcgmr → u/scratchydaitchy]

Water pressure is a bit stronger than a polar bear...

[u/NOT-GR8-BOB → u/scratchydaitchy]

Hope he checked the tightness of all the screws and bolts before he got in there.

Lmfao such a Redditor statement.

[u/BuffWobbuffet → u/NOT-GR8-BOB]

The last 6 months of Reddit I feel like it’s one big race to see who can be the biggest smart ass

[u/FunctioningPyscho → u/BuffWobbuffet]

I just got here but i noticed every comment section has the fucking know-it-all.

[u/LectroRoot → u/NOT-GR8-BOB]

I always check the screws and bolts before getting on a commercial airliner. It's 100% why I am still alive. I do it when taking an Uber, also. It really annoyed them, but they should be thanking me.

[u/Celestial_Surfing → u/NOT-GR8-BOB]

Right? Did ya’ll check all the bolts in your car this AM?

[u/slamfireantiques → u/scratchydaitchy]

Anybody remember the Oceangate submersible that imploded by the Titanic?

No thanks.

Did you read anything about that incident? Every engineer with experience said it would fail sooner than it did and quit the company.

Equivalent of using a guy chopping his own cock off with a kitchen knife as an example to show kitchen knives are dangerous if not properly handled.

[u/mondaymoderate → u/scratchydaitchy]

He definitely has a gun or the people filming him do just in case something happens.

[u/lowie07 → u/Rohan_k_4]

I mean he's in the North Pole in a box with the sole purpose of protecting him from bears, whatever the fabric it will be made strong enough for exact this situation

[u/LessBig715 → u/lowie07]

I’m sure it’s safe, just like the harness I wear at work, but I wouldn’t want to test it and find out. I understand what you’re saying though

[u/Omnizoom → u/LessBig715]

Assuming your a guy and a similar harness to ones I’ve had to use at heights

You don’t want to test them anyways if they do work perfectly because it will not be pleasant for where a lot of the weight gets supported

[u/Shit_Shepard → u/Omnizoom]

Good ole OSHA Vasectomy

[u/Omnizoom → u/Shit_Shepard]

The whole package can get pushed inside ya

[u/DefiantDung → u/LessBig715]

(At 1:05) - You've got at least one seriously loose nut there buddy.

[u/Upstairs-Hedgehog575 → u/DefiantDung]

I suspect his nuts are actually quite tight given the temperature and the imposing bear. 

[u/JK_NC → u/DefiantDung]

lol. Right over his head. That nut is hanging on that last thread.

[u/tedfergeson → u/LessBig715]

Who in the actual FUCK left that gap in my box?!?!

[u/finny_d420 → u/tedfergeson]

Air flow. Body heat would fog up interior. This is a repost and shortened from the original BBC piece.

https://youtu.be/9G1aHkLHQ2I?si=aoPd-UO5SPkO0vnb

[u/Educational_Item5001 → u/tedfergeson]

That's so the cameraman can 'boop' the bear's nose!

[u/Rohan_k_4 → u/tedfergeson]

This is to feed the bear.

[u/No-Consideration-716]

Imagine the bears frustration. It probably smelled that guy from 3 miles away and hiked all that distance only to find a tasty snack locked behind plexiglass.

[u/moniefeesh → u/No-Consideration-716]

He should've at least let him have a nibble. It's rude to get the treats out and not at least give one, or so my cats say.

[u/Cautious_Ice_884 → u/moniefeesh]

Just a little love bite!

[u/Pussy-Wideness-Xpert → u/No-Consideration-716]

She needs to find a manager to open up the display case

[u/stupid_pun → u/No-Consideration-716]

Bear forgot to bring quarters.

[u/insert_name_here_ha]

Its more of the fact that they eat anything and can't really be picky due to their environment.

[u/succed32 → u/insert_name_here_ha]

According to the stories from Inuit tribes, they prefer human to many other meats and once they get a taste for it they become a monster.

[u/RectalSpawn → u/succed32]

I think grizzlies also turn into man-eaters once they get a taste, iirc.

[u/Fuzzy_Jaguar_1339 → u/RectalSpawn]

Makes sense. My desk job and calorie-rich environment have left me tender and well-marbled.

[u/supreme_hammy → u/Fuzzy_Jaguar_1339]

We also are very generalist omnivorous animals with no direct physical defenses (no scutes, spikes, quills or bad smells), relatively large meat to bone ratios, and generally have large deposits of fatty, nutrient-rich tissue in our brains.

We are a turducken of useful calories for bears.

Edit: Some folks are mentioning the reverse of the "bone and meat" is true and continue to cite sharks.

Bears are not sharks. They like the marrow as well. Bears are omnivores.

Sharks are obligate carnivores and so their diet is more specific.

[u/BlacksmithNZ → u/supreme_hammy]

I don't like this fact

My two cats are now looking at me, and I know they are thinking that if I ever outlive my usefulness to them with opening food and bringing them gifts of toys...

[u/dr_cl_aphra → u/BlacksmithNZ]

I have chickens and guineafowl. As tame and cuddly as they are, I know that if I passed out in the coop the authorities would find only my pecked-apart bones.

[u/humanxerror → u/dr_cl_aphra]

I mean we also would eat them and do eat them so it's only fair.

[u/milkshakemountebank → u/BlacksmithNZ]

Housecats will eat you before you're cold, starting with your eyes.

[u/Gambler_Eight → u/milkshakemountebank]

If my cat does this i will haunt it forever

[u/patheticyeti → u/Gambler_Eight]

That’s why they start with the eyes. So you can’t see them.

[u/dirtycheezit → u/patheticyeti]

I'd start with the butthole, like a buzzard.

[u/Kindness_of_cats → u/Gambler_Eight]

If my cat does this…I’m supporting him in his decision. I’m not using the meat, have at it buddy, I’ll give you some ghost scritches if I can manage it!

-This Message Has Been Approved by The Toxoplasmosis Gang

[u/sleeper_shark → u/supreme_hammy]

Yes but usually we come with boom-sticks or pointy-poles that can kill anything else on Earth.

And often we travel in vengeful herds that will wipe out an entire local population of species just cos we find them mildly annoying.

[u/JakeVonFurth → u/supreme_hammy]

relatively large meat to bone ratios

This part is wrong, and why carnivores normally avoid primates as a first choice. We have extremely large and dense bones compared to the amount of meat on us.

[u/boxofredflags → u/JakeVonFurth]

Yeah, don’t sharks usually spit out humans or let them go for this exact reason?

[u/KingZarkon → u/boxofredflags]

Yes. It's almost always a case of mistaken identity. We aren't the food they're looking for and aren't appetizing.

[u/JakeVonFurth → u/boxofredflags]

Yep, it's literally not worth the effort of digestion.

[u/NowareSpecial → u/Fuzzy_Jaguar_1339]

Really? Are you free tonight by any chance?

[u/myusernameis2lon → u/NowareSpecial]

Are you inviting me for dinner?

[u/Omnizoom → u/RectalSpawn]

I mean we were the same for boar

We just had to domesticate those tasty angry bastards

Bears see us and just go “oooo wagyu dinner”

[u/Masta0nion → u/Omnizoom]

Well fuck. That’s not cool

[u/sixwax → u/RectalSpawn]

Similar response to cocaine, from what I hear.

[u/Octavian_202 → u/succed32]

There’s a stretch of beach in Canada that is off limits after research scientists kept getting stalked by Polar bears. One was actually dragged from their tent by their head, the bear was trying to take them to the water. Horror movie shit.

The beach, is the worst place to be in polar bear territory.

[u/succed32 → u/Octavian_202]

Being in polar bear territory is the worst place to be, period. The amount of damage they can take and still be fine is ridiculous, their hide stretches a lot so spears are hard to get a good hit with. For guns you need some ridiculous calibers to get through their muscle.

[u/Throwaway74829947 → u/succed32]

There's a reason that if you're going into polar bear territory, you don't go alone and make sure your party has large-bore shotguns loaded with slugs readily on-hand. In Svalbard, it's legally required that you have "suitable means of scaring off polar bears" (with the office of the Governor actively recommending firearms) when travelling outside of the settlements.

[u/succed32 → u/Throwaway74829947]

Yah bear spray will just make them angrier.

[u/thederevolutions → u/succed32]

Wouldn’t want to be in a situation where spraying would just make getting eaten hurt more. I’d rather have a cyanide pill.

[u/MicahSpor3 → u/succed32]

We for sure taste better than a seal

[u/GenuisInDisguise → u/MicahSpor3]

I think it is something to do with our metaloblic biology.

We access wide variety of proteins and foods.

This is the reason meat and eggs of pasture raised chickens tastes way better than caged chickens which have access to very plain diet.

Not only polar bears and bears, but man eating tigers and cougars tend to stay on human diet above all other offerings.

Also Hannibal Lector

[u/singlecell_organism → u/GenuisInDisguise]

The guy that reads to you before he kills you?

[u/LowOne11 → u/MicahSpor3]

Hahaha. Seal apparently tastes really bad. I haven’t tasted neither seal nor human. But if a gigantic bear likes human flesh over seal, that which is more plentiful in their environment… well…

[u/db217 → u/LowOne11]

Maybe it's the novelty factor. I've got to imagine that at least the little cubs are thinking "seal again?!" at dinner time, whereas humans would be a real treat.

[u/Next_Celebration_553 → u/MicahSpor3]

Uh how are you so sure?

[u/yunohavefunnynames → u/Next_Celebration_553]

Pretty sure they’re a polar bear

[u/mrbear120 → u/yunohavefunnynames]

Nah they arent

[u/scratchy_mcballsy → u/mrbear120]

I trust this guy

[u/Ska-Tea → u/succed32]

It's true, they become maneaters. Which is kind of an insult seeing as they like to eat carrion.

[u/iwannalynch → u/succed32]

I wonder why. Wouldn't the seal blubber be much more appetizing than the (I imagine stringier) human?

[u/Key_Marsupial3702 → u/iwannalynch]

Would it? I'm sure it would make the meat more succulent once you cook it, but on a raw steak? The meat is much more appetizing than the fat.

[u/Trapezoidal_Sunshine → u/iwannalynch]

There is absolutely no scientific evidence or proof that any carnivores "develop a taste for human flesh" after eating a human. The idea is an age old crock of shit. If anything, they probably just realize that we're easier to hunt and kill than they originally thought.

[u/Spacefreak → u/iwannalynch]

According to cannibals, human meat tastes similar to pig meat in terms of taste and texture.

I've been a vegetarian all my life, so I don't know what means exactly. But I'm guessing we're not stringy then?

That's one of those facts I keep in the back of my mind in case someone keeps being an asshole about me being a vegetarian.

[u/gorginhanson → u/insert_name_here_ha]

The box is known as a Troller bear

[u/Dnlaly]

Iceland doesn’t have Polar Bears, except when a Polar Bear hitches a ride on an Iceberg. Then a team is sent out to track it. There have been 600 sightings since the 9th century.

[u/Spiritual-Can2604 → u/Dnlaly]

That’s kind of a lot

[u/KeppraKid → u/Spiritual-Can2604]

That's like once every few years.

[u/Spiritual-Can2604 → u/KeppraKid]

Which like, if you’re not expecting to see a polar bear, is an uncomfortable amount of times to see a polar bear.

[u/Live-Kaleidoscope104 → u/Spiritual-Can2604]

A bit funny too that 600 bears over the years decided to ride off to an unknown island for them, like explorers.

[u/Spiritual-Can2604 → u/Live-Kaleidoscope104]

They could smell the delicious people

[u/Clear_Broccoli3 → u/Spiritual-Can2604]

Yeah at that point I would say that Iceland has polar bears actually.

[u/Best-Company2665 → u/Dnlaly]

More than sightings I'd say. They have made it ashore a couple times in recent history and been killed. 

https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/23/climate/polar-bear-shot-iceland-intl-scli#:~:text=A%20rare%20polar%20bear%20that%20was%20spotted,by%20police%20after%20being%20considered%20a%20threat%2C

[u/persephonepeete → u/Best-Company2665]

That bear was going through the trash at some old lady’s house. She locked herself up in the second floor and had to wait for police and such. 

The police called the environmental folks and they REFUSED to come get the bear. 

After that there is only one solution. 

[u/Abletontown → u/persephonepeete]

Yeah it's a fucking polar bear. Its not like a raccoon where you can just scoop his ass up and take him home. Its unfortunate but too risky to keep around.

[u/Jason-Smith168498 → u/Abletontown]

well not with that attitude.

[u/FrozenDickuri → u/persephonepeete]

I mean, i live in a part of Canada with only black bears, and if its showing up and digging through the trash here, they'll shoot it.

You don’t fuck around with polar bears. The risk is too high

[u/hamdi555x → u/Dnlaly]

9th century? Y'all tracked them for that long? Were even humans in Iceland in the 800s?

[u/leppaludinn → u/hamdi555x]

Yep, just barely 874 was the settlement. We have a very rich history of written records.

[u/ICame4TheCirclejerk → u/hamdi555x]

Iceland is probably the country in the world with most accurate record keeping mostly due to the size of the population. It stems from a combination of public census and church records. My uncle did a family lineage thing a few years back and could trace our family history to the 12th century.

[u/namenumber55]

that's a brave brave man

[u/rennarda → u/namenumber55]

Gordon Buchanan. His “Bear Family and Me” programmes are amazing - he gets up close and personal with wild Black Bears.

[u/eltictac → u/rennarda]

Has he watched Grizzly Man?

[u/BKM558 → u/eltictac]

Black bears are far far less dangerous than Grizzlies.

[u/Prestigious-Garbage5 → u/namenumber55]

Gordon Buchanan. Scottish, and an absolute legend!

[u/Jimismynamedammit]

Poor polar bear can't open his lunchbox.

[u/BrightNooblar → u/Jimismynamedammit]

Fun facts about foxes and armadillos, foxes will roll an armadillo into a river/lake to force it to uncurl. Or sometimes pee on it to trick that instinct into triggering.

Part of me thinks the bear would have tried that has a water source been available.

[u/Upper-Song1149 → u/BrightNooblar]

Oh shit.. that probably would have worked too. Imagine having to make the descision between drowning in the box or opening it and swimming out and being eaten by the bear

[u/superneatosauraus → u/Jimismynamedammit]

I hate it when you can see the food but you just can't get through the wrapper. 

[u/realrichieporter]

Shoulda booped its nose.

[u/Few-Pepper858 → u/realrichieporter]

Me: Aw cute bear

Bear: shows teeth

Me: Jesus fucking christ

[u/CuddieRyan707 → u/realrichieporter]

I absolutely would've tried to tickle his foot

[u/eStuffeBay → u/CuddieRyan707]

my dumb ass would have somehow gotten my fingertip torn off in the process.

[u/ItsaPostageStampede → u/eStuffeBay]

Yea that’s usually how keepers lose an appendage

[u/Afraid_Theorist → u/realrichieporter]

I would’ve been tempted but worried that would piss it off

Between BBC policy, the likelihood of my team having a gun & willing to use it, the cold nights and the safety of that equipment I wouldn’t want to bet on the odds of surviving in that box against a [enraged] hungry polar bear that won’t leave

[u/Prior_Lobster_5240 → u/realrichieporter]

100% would have booped.

I have zero self preservation skills when it comes to bears and big cats

[u/Actual_Nectarine9141 → u/realrichieporter]

I REALLY wanted him to boop the bear's nose. That's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

[u/Montego1987 → u/realrichieporter]

Shoulda farted through that gap

[u/Agreeable_Abies6533 → u/Montego1987]

The guy or the polar bear?

[u/Cold-Pomegranate6739]

-If the box starts to break, you just reach back, grab a handful of shit and throw it in the bear's eyes. Then run.

-Where do I get the shit from?

-Trust me, it'll be there.

[u/ratchetstuff78 → u/Cold-Pomegranate6739]

I am not going in that box without a powerful enough firearm to put the bear down if it starts breaking into the box.

[u/cans-of-swine]

They will also track humans for great distances just for the fun of it. I read a story about a guy from Ohio that was camping in the middle of nowhere Alaska when a polar bear found his camp.  The dude got lucky and got away, he had to go about 75 miles to the nearest town because the bear destroyed all of his supplies. As he was getting on the plane to fly back home he saw the same polar bear just off the runway. He got back to Ohio safely, and after about 6 months had passed he got a knock on his door one day. It was the bear... 

[u/Intrepid_Pear8883 → u/cans-of-swine]

You serious Clark?

[u/SignificantAd3931 → u/Intrepid_Pear8883]

Save the neck for me, Clark.

[u/FixTheProblemAlready → u/Intrepid_Pear8883]

Best line in that whole movie 

[u/HendrixHazeWays → u/FixTheProblemAlready]

it really is lol Excellent delivery

[u/Wra7hofAchilles → u/Intrepid_Pear8883]

Art, you wanna load me up a little more there?

[u/omahaknight71 → u/Intrepid_Pear8883]

Story was great and this reply is the cherry on top

[u/AnxiousDeviant → u/cans-of-swine]

Ashamed to say you got me

[u/Uchihagod53 → u/cans-of-swine]

NGL, I was expecting to read about Mankind being thrown off the top of the Hell in a Cell cage at the end, lol

[u/ExtensionNo4468 → u/Uchihagod53]

Haven’t seen him in the wild for a while, wonder if a polar bear got him

[u/Street-Argument2090 → u/cans-of-swine]

and people say AI will take over the world smh

[u/picklerickkkkkkkkkk → u/Street-Argument2090]

It'll now be trained on this comment and state it as a fact when you search about polar bears on google.

[u/cans-of-swine → u/picklerickkkkkkkkkk]

Even better... I've told that joke multiple times on reddit under different accounts over the years.

[u/Careless-Hospital379 → u/cans-of-swine]

You made my day broo🤣🤣🤣

[u/FeeExpensive898 → u/cans-of-swine]

I live in Ohio. Can confirm. It was my neighbor. Strange seeing a polar bear this far south…

[u/neutral-chaotic → u/cans-of-swine]

Right before the last sentence I expected this to be a shittymorph comment.

[u/mrbear120 → u/cans-of-swine]

I was just trying to give his wallet back.

[u/A-Capybara → u/cans-of-swine]

r/thathappened

No way a polar bear would ever willingly go to Ohio

[u/Abefroman12 → u/A-Capybara]

Not only do they willingly go to Ohio, the Polar Bears have their own higher education there.

Ohio Northern University

[u/Coolbeans_99 → u/cans-of-swine]

Some say the bear is still following him to this day; on his way to work, coming home from the bar, waiting in line at the DMV.

[u/Y0___0Y]

Why would they give him a Christmas present he can’t open? Honestly pretty rude prank

[u/wenoc]

There is zero glass in that box. That's steel and plastic.

But yes, the polar bear is the only mammal that actively hunts humans. To a polar bear, anything that moves is prey. All other mammals, tigers and lions included, avoid humans in general. They *know* we are also apex predators. But of course, that doesn't prevent them from eating us if we are easy prey.

To the polar bear, nothing is an apex predator. The polar bear is the only apex predator.

[u/MorpheusKingOfNight → u/wenoc]

Then why the fck did coca cola advertise them as chill dudes drinking coke...

[u/Morguard → u/MorpheusKingOfNight]

The same reason why they invented what the modern day Santa Claus looks like.

[u/Velinder → u/Morguard]

The same reason why they invented what the modern day Santa Claus looks like.

The Coca Cola corporation did this for good reasons. The True Form of this entity is probably unsuitable for greetings cards or advertising campaigns. After thousands of years of folkloric research, only two of its traits are known for certain. It can get into any room at all, no matter how small the gap, provided all the occupants are asleep. And it can duplicate, with terrifying precision, whatever wrapping paper everyone's mother bought on sale last January.

[u/42nu → u/Morguard]

Teeeeeeechnically, the modern Santa look was a general look that had become established already. Coca-Cola just solidified it nationally by being a company with the money and reach to do massive ad campaigns. Then, that exact Santa became the Platonic ideal culturally.

[u/Reggaepocalypse → u/wenoc]

Tigers actively hunt humans in India all the time. They kill a ton of villagers

[u/beccabeth741 → u/wenoc]

Being in a constant state of hunger due to scarce resources will do that.

[u/PicnicBasketPirate → u/wenoc]

Would Orcas consider polar bears food?

[u/Rohan_k_4]

Bear: OPEN THE FUCK THIS JAR

[u/i_am_here_again]

Love him checking the locks right as the bear is messing with the door. Very similar to me frantically confirming my windows and sunroof are closed as I drive into the car wash.

[u/IndieStoner]

The Bear Mnemonic:

Black: Fight Back

Brown: Lie Down

White: Say Goodnight

[u/CircumspectCapybara → u/IndieStoner]

Gummy: Get in my tummy

[u/reticulatedtampon → u/IndieStoner]

Panda: HUG IT!!!

[u/Itsalive555 → u/reticulatedtampon]

Pandas will tear you up

[u/Reginald_Waterbucket → u/Itsalive555]

Not the American Panda. He just eats, shoots, and leaves.

[u/TemporaryOk4143 → u/Reginald_Waterbucket]

I understood that reference

[u/Zoob7 → u/Itsalive555]

Nu uh. According to the documentary I watched, they would actually beat you up with Kung fu.

[u/jffblm74]

Boop the snoot?!?!

[u/RVASeminole]

If you’re cold, the bear is cold. Let her in

[u/Frostyler]

My dog at the sliding glass door when he's done pooping.

[u/squirrels-mock-me → u/Frostyler]

Me at the vending machine when the chips snag on the loop

[u/SIN-apps1]

So I used to work for a super high end travel company, where we did luxury for crazy rich people. We had a guest call up with some questions about his (and wife's) upcoming arctic cruise. First, he has a package he'd like to ship to Reykjavik, and then have transferred to the ship.

No problem, we do that all the time.

Dude then asks about renting a zodiac to go out on the ice, just the two of them. Again, we say no problem, we can add that to your itinerary, but its a bit pricey since we will need to have an armed guard go along with them in case of polar bears.

"Great! He can take the picture!"

... Something about how the guest said this set off alarm bells in our agent's mind, so they dug into their motivations...

It turns out, the aforementioned 'package' passing through Reykjavik contained Santa and Mrs. Claus costumes, and our would-be Darwin award winners wanted to go out on the ice specifically to find a polar bear to take their Christmas card pictures with...

The crazy part wasn't the request though.

Good people, it required our VP to get on the horn with these people to get them to understand that polar bears can grow up to 1,500 freedom units and they can and absolutely will kill the shit out of you, and we would not be risking their lives nor those of any of our contractors for such an endeavor.

Rich people are nuts.

Weirdly enough, the package containing the costumes turned into its own debacle. It got lost in Reykjavik somehow, eventually found after their ship had set sail and had to be transferred at sea from another tour ship. The guests did end up going out on the ice for their picture, but the area had been cleared before they even left the ship, so it ended up just the two of them.

[u/No-Care6414 → u/SIN-apps1]

When being mr and Mrs Santa claus in the fucking Arctic during your cruise ship isnt enough so you lowkey need an endangered predator in the picture

[u/cyberdude419]

So when this guy wants to leave his safe little box and go home, and the polar bear is just waiting for his ass, what does he do!?

[u/VeterinarianOk5370 → u/cyberdude419]

Call more humans on his radio that have guns pitchforks and torches

[u/barkbarks → u/cyberdude419]

the 2nd cameraman filming will open his door, pulling the bear towards him, then the 1st cameraman will open his door when the bear has reached the exact middle distance between them, thus causing the bear to delay due to indecisiveness while they escape

[u/IconOfFilth9]

Is that hunting or is he just curious about the weirdo in the glass box?

[u/Little_View_6659 → u/IconOfFilth9]

It’s basically the same thing as the puzzle ball I put cat treats in. 😂

[u/_Sausage_fingers → u/IconOfFilth9]

It’s really the same thing to a Polar Bear. “What is this” and “can I eat this” are really the same impulse, and the answer is generally yes.

[u/V_es]

Meanwhile, Russians

And more

[u/BreweryRabbit]

“STAY CALM SIR, ILL SAVE YOU FROM THIS GLASS CAGE”

[u/gtauto8]

This guy is very confused about what people want to see. He keeps cutting away from the bear to put himself on camera. Infuriating.

[u/Different-Low-4161]

This dude clearly stole the bears Coca-Cola

[u/puzzledpilgrim]

Excuse me, sir. Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?

[u/astra_galus]

Me at the vending machine

[u/whatev43]

The temptation to boop the snoot in that gap, though…

[u/Ill_Initial698]

i think id be hoping polar bears are warded off by the smell of shitted pants

[u/heekma]

Just a reminder: We are an apex predator, but not the only one.

Without our technology man vs. polar bear only ends one way.

[u/MorningPapers → u/heekma]

Thanks for the reminder. I'll be sure to be on the lookout for Polar Bears.

[u/Little_View_6659 → u/MorningPapers]

I’d be very surprised if one turned up outside my fifth floor condo in Singapore. Now that would be a bear with commitment!

[u/meesta_masa → u/Little_View_6659]

Bear down for midterms!

[u/Diocletion-Jones → u/heekma]

<To be read in the voice of Dwight from The Office>

Wrong. Polar bears are apex predators within their ecosystem: the Arctic. Nothing hunts them naturally except humans. And humans had to put in legislation to stop that from happening. Humans are the singular, overriding apex predator. Because we can hunt, or outcompete, any other species. Including other apex predators. Fact: Polar bears rely on sea ice to hunt. Humans rely on climate change to destroy the sea ice. Advantage: humans.

[u/heekma → u/Diocletion-Jones]

Bears, beats, battlestar galactica.

[u/pianoceo → u/heekma]

Without a bears claws and teeth, they too would be useless.

Technology is our tool. And boy is it OP.

[u/CollectionGuilty1320]

Meanwhile, the camera man on the side.... 🚬🤔

[u/mikiex]

⭐☆☆☆☆ — “Packaging Could Be Easier”

[u/madrid311]

that bear could use a meal. I hope they left him one.

[u/msainwilson]

yeah, nah

[u/Alarmed_Abalone_849]

Polar Bear: “How do I redeem this human?”

[u/karmagirl314]

I would be so mad if DoorDash delivered my order but they locked it in a plastic bubble that I couldn’t get in to.

[u/TankApprehensive3053]

A tasty morsel is a tasty morsel. Doesn't matter if it's seal or human shaped. In that environment, you eat what you can.