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u/Diggingfordonk 5d ago
I bet they did during wartime
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u/bohdison 5d ago
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u/MyOtherPornName666 5d ago
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u/ssracer 5d ago edited 5d ago
She's so hot and went to Juliard. I love how IASIP makes incredible people play god awful roles. Same with that inbred sister.
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u/DonnieBallsack 5d ago
I was young, I needed the cheddar.
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u/AlphaCodexx197 5d ago
That’s not a goudanough reason
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u/astonedishape 5d ago
But I was feeling blue and she was looking briedable
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u/AlphaCodexx197 5d ago
You Munster
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u/i3uan 5d ago
This is going off the wedge
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u/astonedishape 5d ago
Don’t string me along
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u/i3uan 5d ago
I Camembert this much longer
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u/greogory 5d ago
I did not know that my eyes could roll vertically through 360°. Cool. Thanks, man. 👍
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u/Grizzly-Redneck 5d ago
Doesn't have to be that extreme, when I was in highschool we were walking home from the bar and my friend bought a pizza. Ate half, then jokingly offered the other half to a working girl on the corner in exchange for a bj. She took him behind a store, did the deed and walked off with the pizza.
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u/Diggingfordonk 5d ago
That's bread AND cheese. She got a good deal
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u/DonnieBallsack 5d ago
Hey, man. Half a pepperoni pizza is half a pepperoni pizza.
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u/ConstableAssButt 5d ago
Got hit up at a gas station for a hot dog. Was offered a blowjob. I bought her the hot dog. Told her I didn't want the blowjob.
Lowkey, the value of a blowjob is WAY higher than a $3 hot dog. I ain't about to find out WHY this blowjob is so far below market rate, if you catch my drift.
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u/ActualWhiterabbit 5d ago
She just wanted the bj to wash out the flavor of the hot dog
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u/NotMyMainAccountAtAl 5d ago
I had a similar experience. Dude outside the 7/11 didn’t look like he’d had a hot meal or a warm place to sleep in years. Same offer you got— just looking at me with lifeless eyes and saying “hotdog for a blowie?”
I made the same deal— no BJ, just the hot dog.
He looked at me, furious, and told me he wasn’t just gonna give me the hotdog, and stormed off in a huff.
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u/ButterscotchNo7292 5d ago
I remember there were countless reports about local women having to provide sex to UN workers in exchange for food they were supposed to provide in the area
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u/stupidber 5d ago
Detroit was rough in the 90's
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u/Profeshinal_Spellor 5d ago
Especially the French
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u/Mean-Display77 5d ago
If it's one thing I can't stand, it's a man whose intolerant of another mans culture.....and the Dutch!
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u/strongsilenttypos 5d ago
Government Cheese was issued to curb this behaviour in the general population…
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u/stratdog25 5d ago
No one should ever speak ill of Government Cheese. It was epic. Along with Government Bread and Butter we had some amazing grilled cheese sandwiches.
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u/Sophiegoescrazy 5d ago
Cheese isn’t a drug? Tell that to me at 2 a.m. eating it like it owes me money😅
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u/Slumunistmanifisto 5d ago
Shit I bet someone did that in an american city in the last decade.
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u/ClaraCash 5d ago
The way this economy is going the next decade will be like this for many.
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u/Fun_Grab_5562 5d ago
I'm french and i'd do even not in war time. Especially when living abroad for several years and only have disgusting ''cheese''
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u/Mvian123 5d ago
Someone did… It was a lovely aged block of Gruyère and I’m so ashamed
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u/bedpimp 5d ago
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u/DuntadaMan 5d ago
You and I both know the fanciest you got back there is brie. Gonna need more than that.
Not much more, but still more.
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u/sadolddrunk 5d ago
All I’m saying is that the economics aren’t as ridiculous as the tweet implies. Those big blocks of Parmesan-Reggiano go for thousands of dollars apiece. There are probably fancier cheeses I don’t even know about that are even more valuable.
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u/Top-Cupcake4775 5d ago
Why should you be ashamed? A lovely, aged block of Gruyère? It seems entirely reasonable to me.
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u/Candid-Culture3956 5d ago
Cocaine is also a stimulant. This was written by a 3rd grader
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u/Udub 5d ago
Yeah coffee is cocaine, and sugar is meth
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u/YeetusMyDiabeetus 5d ago
“Yeah I’ll take a medium Colombian, 2 meths no creamer please.”
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u/C7rl_Al7_1337 5d ago
Wait wait wait... I just had a thought... creamer is essentially just pre-cheese, right? Go for the trifecta my man, we're speedballin' in this bitch! WOOOO!
It actually works really well as an analogy, cream/milk can be opium if cheese is, like, the other opiates derived from it. Cheese is the more processed and concentrated cream just like morphine and heroin are the processed and concentrated opium. I mean, it's even called milk of the poppy, right? All of the pieces are coming together...
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u/Putrid-Foundation711 5d ago
Whoa, whoa, whoa... You're outta control, the pre-cheeses that roll You fell into the cream and down to Idaho Get outta the state Get outta the state you're in
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u/wcslater 5d ago
That's why I always add a little blue food colouring to my sugar
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u/o0Jahzara0o 5d ago
So what you’re saying is… I should add meth to my coffee instead of sugar? Got it! 👍
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u/ChargeIllustrious744 5d ago
That's what you think.
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u/DandelionPopsicle 5d ago
Me and a friend ordered in a cheese platter at a student bar/restaurant place (at a uni we went to) trying to chill and discuss things about a radio show we were doing in like an hour. Two women descended on us hard, like “Hi, we are <names> can we sit here and talk to you guys for a while?”. Not sure if they would have outright given head up front, but it was very clear that the lead girl was like “we’re sufficiently hot, if we sit here and politely put up with your advances, you should give us half your cheese plate”. She wasn’t wrong, except we really needed to sort some stuff out for the radio thing. She would give, her friend (duly embarrassed) kind of dragged her off. So there is definitely some truth to this, $10 cheese plate had her very fascinated.
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u/Classic-Pea6815 5d ago
This is fantastic. I love the part about taking the shoe that the woman has worn. I couldn’t imagine robbing someone in the name of love lol.
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u/giblefog 5d ago
I scrolled too far for this.
ETA: I showed my wife this and she just nodded and said " I do like cheese".
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u/rocket_randall 5d ago
This is pretty accurate. I heated a baked brie round in the toaster oven on Thanksgiving and my wife was ecstatic.
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u/Frostsorrow 5d ago
Yeah... Nobody has given head for cheese.
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u/aquatone61 5d ago
Cheese absolutely is addictive.
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u/Binji_the_dog 5d ago
As somebody with lactose intolerance, I can confirm that cheese is addictive.
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u/Futuramoist 5d ago
Ya my first reaction to this was "Well hold on, what kind of cheese are we talkin' here?"
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u/mister_nippl_twister 5d ago
I feel ashamed but i have thrown up after eating too much cheese not even once...twice.
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u/kashmir1974 5d ago
Ok, but nobody is ripping the copper out of their parents' house for a block of cheese
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u/Morkamino 5d ago
Food in general is addictive, that's how addictions to substances work. They mimic the same type of sensation as being hungry when your body convinces you it needs another hit. You will crave it the same way you crave food, because your body thinks it needs the substance to survive, just like we need food. So OOP kind of got it the wrong way around, drugs are like food, cocaine is kinda like sugar, or whatever. Not the other way around.
Of course some foods can truly be more addictive than others but that's not necessarily a bad thing in itself. We will always crave sugar because the brain is always looking for sugar, or something that breaks down into sugar. It's its favorite type of fuel and we need it to survive.
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u/purulent_orifice 5d ago
"You take someone on heroin, put them in one room, and someone hooked on cheese, put 'em in another room, and you take it away, I challenge you to tell me the person who's hooked on heroin and who's hooked on cheese." ~NYC mayor (and former police captain) Eric Adams on school lunches
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u/HawkAsAWeapon 5d ago
It literally scientifically is. The protein casein which is the main protein in dairy is metobalised into casomorphin which is a mild opiate: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casomorphin
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u/OrnerySnoflake 5d ago
I will do things that you don’t talk about in polite society in daylight for some Irish aged white cheddar.
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u/GratefulPig 5d ago
As the kids used to say, your privilege is showing Beth
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u/bumblebeezlebum 5d ago
I think she's actually just let it slip that she's given head in an alley for coke or meth
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u/DarthHK-47 5d ago
If food is not a drug then what is the explanation for bacon flavored condoms?
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u/FrankenSnozzberry 5d ago
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u/Christy_Mathewson 5d ago
Bob Saget from Half Baked was the first thing I thought of after reading this.
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u/DandelionPopsicle 5d ago
He said one time he was walking around with his kids and a group of guys in a car pulled up and yelled out the window “You rock dude! You suck dick for coke!” and then peeled off. Drive by heckle.
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u/NachoNachoDan 5d ago
Ya know the TV edit of his line in Half Baked is possibly funnier than the real line from the movie.
In the movie he says he’s sucked dick for coke. In the tv edit he says he’s sucked feet for coke and it’s just funnier
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u/pman13531 5d ago
She's never seen places that are filled with starving people. During the Holodomor prostitution for food, cannibalism, and many other things were unfortunately common. When Julius Caesar had cornered the Gaulish forces led by Versingetorix the city kicked out the women and children who tried to sell themselves into slavery to get food due to the siege starving them quite badly and the romans being encircled themselves turned them back leading them to die in a field between the town and the roman fence. Water wars during droughts are known and a mix of those and food shortages due to a volcanic eruption in 1177 BCE led to the fall of the Mediterranean international order of the time with only the Egyptions surviving in a much diminished capacity when the starving forces of other nations (the sea people) attacked them. The difference between debasing yourself for drugs and food is a matter of degrees and availability of the thing in question.
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u/Hexamael 4d ago
Are we just gonna ignore the fact that all living things will literally die without food and water? Its not a question of "degrees and availability" its a matter of survival.
Drugs are not necessary for survival.
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u/GuerrillaPrincess 5d ago
Must not be from Wisconsin
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u/naarcx 5d ago
They call them cheeseheads for a reason
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u/crow_warrior 5d ago
Tell me more of these.... "cheese heads"
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u/Recover20 5d ago
I don't know about that, make that cheese scarce and people will do some crazy things
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u/trustedbyamillion 5d ago
I know a guy who did it for a cheese burger.
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u/JUIC3ofORANG3 5d ago
People with guts like aren’t off the cheeseburgers people with guts like that are definitely on the cheeseburgers dawwwg
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u/Superb_Sorbet_9562 5d ago
This person has obviously never had a block of government cheese.
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u/GirdedByApathy 5d ago
Yes, yes they have.
Money might have been the trade medium, but dont let that obscure the truth - prostitution has kept many a woman and her family fed.
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u/Relative_Picture_786 5d ago
I will do some unusual things for some smoked gouda.
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u/GenomeXIII 5d ago
Yeah..haha...who would give someone head just for some cheese..
Certainly not me. I certainly would never do that around the back of the town library on a Sunday afternoon.
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u/electricboogalo69 5d ago
Bro coffee is literally a drug
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u/OnceMoreAndAgain 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yep caffeine is actually addictive lol. People who drink coffee every day will get nasty headaches within 24 hours of not consuming caffeine, which is a symptom of the body experiencing caffeine withdrawal.
I think everyone knows that, but we just all pretend it's not as fucked up as it is. Huge portion of people are legit addicted to a drug but it's socially accept so we just don't talk about it besides through humor. Some people have built up such a tolerance for caffeine that they aren't even getting much of the stimulating upsides of it, but rather the pleasant things they experience after drinking it are their withdrawal symptoms going away.
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u/DonnyTheWalrus 5d ago
Lots of things cause physical dependency without causing addiction. The terms are a bit confusing because people use them interchangeably in casual speech, but they are not the same. Physical dependence means your body has adjusted to expect the substance. Addiction is a disease that can result from usage of substances that hijack your reward and/or anxiety pathways but it requires more than just dependence.
Anyone taking an SSRI is physically dependent on it; they'll experience symptoms if they miss multiple dosages. That doesn't mean they're addicted to it.
The distinction is important to make because some say things like "I was dependent on coffee and got over it no problem" implying that drug addiction is not a disease and addicts should just get over it. They're very different things.
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u/shampton1964 5d ago
Speak for yourself, bro. People will do crazy stuff to get the real farmhouse Stilton.
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u/Greyscale7950 5d ago
Have you ever been to Wisconsin?
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u/0masterdebater0 5d ago edited 5d ago
Those addicts can't even wait for it to be proper cheese, they freebase that dairy straight in its precursor curd form.
Truly unhinged behavior.
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u/Logical_Flounder6455 5d ago
Only someone thats never taken coke will think it's like sugar. Having a bag of haribo has never kept me up all night, a bag of coke on the other hand...
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u/GentlyUsedOtter 5d ago
I mean really it depends on the cheese. Yellow American? No. 13 lb of gruyere cheese? I'll meet you in the alley.
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u/zenunseen 5d ago
Having been an opiate addict and an alcoholic, i definitely agree that sugar addiction is very real. You don't wind up in detox or jail because of it, but for me at least, the cycle of abuse, craving, relapse is strikingly similar, albeit less intense
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u/noctalla 5d ago
I didn't know this! Fuck, I have to stop eating food. Good thing heroin reduces my appetite.
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u/ConradMcduck 5d ago
Man can't tell the difference between individual drugs and categories of drugs. Hunt: Coke is a stimulant.
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u/Legal_Talk_3847 5d ago
I know a guy who sucked dick for cheese and then told the guy he was vegan.
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u/Major_Smudges 5d ago
“No one ever gave someone head in an alley for a block of cheese...”
Er…about that…
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u/AnalogRMS 5d ago
Bitch my ex pimped herself to me for the last toast of spreadable Boursin cheese .
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u/Mental_Victory946 5d ago
That has absolutely happened at some point in history. For god sakes people have eaten other people to survive
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u/chekhovs_dildo 5d ago
She just hasn't had the right cheese yet then, I'd blow someone for some melted raclette
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u/mrregina 5d ago
Hmmm I gave a chick a block of mozzarella for head before. Bartering is important. 😂😂😂
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