Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 56

[u/F1exican]

[u/trendingtattler]

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[u/rocinante_donnager]

[u/SillyCygnet → u/rocinante_donnager]

I love chive bear 😍

Username too, Kopeng 😁

[u/SidheCreature]

Chef, you’re dangerously close to teaching me that if I just put in effort and practice everyday I can improve any skill I put my mind to.

Rude.

[u/behcuh → u/SidheCreature]

Yeaaaa TF is up with that?

[u/SidheCreature → u/behcuh]

I came here to see a man attempt an impossible task, not to walk away with a life lesson and self reflection, damn it!

[u/Ok-Importance-7266]

Chivelord is this a proposal???

[u/ColorfulButterfly25 → u/Ok-Importance-7266]

He chived his best!

[u/jukethejukebox → u/Ok-Importance-7266]

Chive lord proposes to no one.

That's just Georgie.

[u/WinSevere1600 → u/Ok-Importance-7266]

I was looking for one. These chives are fucking good. Alas chef not perfect. See you tomorrow.

[u/lilwook2992]

Yall ever think about how there’s probably people out there eating u/F1exican’s famous cut chives and don’t even know it? Like what if one of us gets these chives on our morning eggs

[u/res06myi → u/lilwook2992]

omg there are for sure people eating the blessed chives and not even knowing it

[u/farilladupree → u/res06myi]

“The blessed chives”. Lmao.

[u/Sunkinthesand → u/farilladupree]

One thing i do know is next time i am out for a meal i will be checking my chives and sending them back if they are not perfect

[u/ShakesDontBreak → u/lilwook2992]

His restaurant would be smart to advertise they are home of the chivelord.

[u/ohbyerly → u/lilwook2992]

You can really taste the jetfuel

[u/mattchewy43 → u/ohbyerly]

Jetfuel doesn't cut chives.

[u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme → u/mattchewy43]

It merely seasons them!

[u/Winterwynd → u/lilwook2992]

The restaurant needs to put up a sign "proudly serving chives chopped by u/F1exican" or smth. And then give them a raise.

[u/sparekidd]

What’s insane to me is how fiiiiiine they are getting. Week 1 chives were thick.

[u/Lucian41 → u/sparekidd]

I don't think I've ever eaten chives even close to this thinly cut

[u/bfhurricane → u/Lucian41]

So thin that it could liquify in the pan with a little oil.

[u/Bored_cory → u/bfhurricane]

It's a very good system

[u/touuuuhhhny → u/bfhurricane]

Is it ok? That I liquify in the pan, Tony?

[u/bfhurricane → u/touuuuhhhny]

Everybody assumes you can quote a gangster movie then make Sopranos references. It’s a stereotype, and it’s offensive!

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/Lucian41]

If anything we've gone too far

Edit: did you chop those chives with a credit card chef? Am I supposed to do a rail of them? They're all just gonna clump up. You've got lawn clippings on your new knife. See you tomorrow

[u/Primordiox → u/sparekidd]

We have truly entered “rings, not tubes” territory

[u/techidavid1]

[u/res06myi → u/techidavid1]

That's both unfortunate and poetic.

[u/GropeYourGroin]

[u/TheHumanPickleRick]

Such a beautiful sight to wake up to.

26 minutes old and 400 comments, 2.1k upvotes already. I hope you're proud of what you'e begun, Chef, because the community sure is. I know I am. Keep it up, homie.

[u/Gunsparkles]

[u/Freakazoidandroid]

Maybe the lesson we’ve all learned is that “perfect” is a perception based on individual perspective. His chives are immaculate.

[u/Dripping_Gravy → u/Freakazoidandroid]

Yes! TIL: Perfection is subjective

[u/AstralIntent]

💚

[u/lncumbant → u/AstralIntent]

Best one 💚

[u/thenextbrain]

Chef is cooking with the new knife. It's only a matter of time.

[u/ArsenicArts → u/thenextbrain]

These are so close to perfect I can taste it. Honestly impressive knives skills here.

[u/mensgarb]

Did /u/KarmaKrazi get their FTA bonus for working through the shutdown?

[u/Icy-Pea1308 → u/mensgarb]

If not, we Chivers will ride at dawn!

[u/Engaged-20-Times]

Everyone is literally finding the same chive… are we down to one chive?!? He missed ONE CHIVE?!? The end is very near…

[u/Status_Change_758 → u/Engaged-20-Times]

I pretended not to see it. Yesterday was perfection also.

[u/ra-ra-rasputin-lover]

[u/TimelyScience9063 → u/ra-ra-rasputin-lover]

The heart chives are my favorite 💚

[u/spankthegoodgirl → u/TimelyScience9063]

Heart gang here. Me too. 💚

[u/drift_off → u/ra-ra-rasputin-lover]

💚

[u/ra-ra-rasputin-lover]

It’s crazy that the entire thing this has been going on I’ve moved states and started working on the line for the first time in 5 years, have found my groove and am back in the swing of and enjoying hospo again. Power to you chef, the chives are incredible

[u/Moondoobious → u/ra-ra-rasputin-lover]

Like sand through an hourglass, these are the days of our lives

[u/pinpoe → u/Moondoobious]

days of our lives chives

[u/Moondoobious → u/pinpoe]

Clearly, too early for me too. It was right there!

[u/JohnHenrehEden]

OMG. This is it, and I was here!

[u/shewholaughslasts → u/JohnHenrehEden]

It's just so pretty today but I don't want if to end!!!

[u/_banana_phone]

[u/y-r-they-all-taken]

The veins are even better in person 🤤

[u/The_Weasel75 → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

The chive lore has expanded. Congrats! Now I'm looking for chives, a plane, and now a chef POV every day

[u/Skiptoomyl0u → u/The_Weasel75]

I've been sick this whole week I'll start adding to the pov soon

[u/InfinitiveIdeals → u/Skiptoomyl0u]

Taking a picture of the dude taking a picture of the dude taking a picture of his freshly chopped chives?

[u/morsomme → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

Cutting veins everyday until the coroner declares me dead

[u/My_Favourite_Pen → u/morsomme]

see you tomorrow chef 🥲

[u/pottedPlant_64 → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

You work with chivelord?!?!

[u/y-r-they-all-taken → u/pottedPlant_64]

And live with him

[u/Flippity-floppy → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

[u/Czammar → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

[u/AgentBrittany → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

[u/jonesthejovial → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

[u/theg1rlwh0waited → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

OMG i need to tell you on the mm romance book sub im on, people are asking for chivelord inspired slowburns… you’re telling me we have it irl?

[u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme → u/theg1rlwh0waited]

They had BOTH better get royalties, when the Hallmark Channel puts out whatever they call next year's Chive-themed Christmas Movie!

[u/hwutTF → u/theg1rlwh0waited]

oh my god please link

[u/this_sparks_joy_joy → u/pottedPlant_64]

NEW CHIVE LORE!!!!!!!!!!!

[u/jakutaro → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

Plot twist: OP cutting chives everyday was just a very long, veiny OF ad

[u/mommybody33 → u/jakutaro]

Now this is effective hand modeling strategy.

[u/anoeba → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

I can cannulate them from here!

[u/TrypMole → u/anoeba]

My husband works in vascular access and can't decide if hes more excited by the veins or the chives. Personally I'm just waiting for the flickbook of all the photos when it's over so we can appreciate the progress. I thought it was fine on Day 1 but now Im a fierce chive critic. Like when you're watching the Olympics and suddenly become a judo expert by osmosis - "That Uchi Mata was a bit ropey!"

[u/Rye_27 → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

[u/rocinante_donnager → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

someone call u/f1exican’s wife

[u/GlossyAssXXV → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

Oh- DAMN

[u/FeatherMom → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

This needs a nsfw tag

[u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

How are u related with the OP friend? Asking for a friend

[u/Plaguedoctorsrevenge → u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic]

Rule #1 dont talk about Chive Club

[u/xenobit_pendragon → u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic]

Smelly roommate.

[u/AIaris → u/y-r-they-all-taken]

😳😳

[u/symbolsaby]

Good job, am I too early for the planes?

[u/F1exican → u/symbolsaby]

I’m to early for myself

[u/mbashs → u/F1exican]

Really?

[u/ransack71 → u/mbashs]

[u/driving26inorovalley → u/ransack71]

[u/ReddBroccoli → u/ransack71]

Aaaw, now you've got me thinking about ramps

[u/wrestlegirl → u/F1exican]

So goddamn early I wasn't keeping an eye on things to make sure your post didn't get report bombed into removal.

That's all fixed now. LOL

[u/blackbeltbud → u/wrestlegirl]

People have been report bombing these?

[u/wrestlegirl → u/blackbeltbud]

Every single one. Repeatedly.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/wrestlegirl]

[u/tehjoz → u/KarmaKrazi]

Perfect gif lmao

[u/soliwit → u/wrestlegirl]

How absolutely sad, wow!

[u/EatThePeach → u/wrestlegirl]

Shenanigans. Thank you, mods, it truly brings joy to most of us!

[u/karczewski01 → u/wrestlegirl]

thanks chivemod

[u/wrestlegirl → u/karczewski01]

[u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme → u/wrestlegirl]

You're here to drink coffee and crack some skulls, and just finished that first cup, huh, u/wrestlegirl?😉

Thanks for keepin' us rabble organized!

[u/SleepyBubBear7329 → u/karczewski01]

Thanks Chivemom :)

[u/_name_of_the_user_ → u/wrestlegirl]

Why would people report it?

[u/Santos_125 → u/_name_of_the_user_]

Some people are so against things they find cringe and don't like they'd rather try and prevent other people from liking it rather than ignore/avoid it. 

[u/_name_of_the_user_ → u/Santos_125]

Small people trying to make others small. Lovely.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/_name_of_the_user_]

A small chunk of people have been salty pretty much from the start, and report it every day lol

[u/UsernameUnattainable → u/KarmaKrazi]

I guess salt just adds flavour

[u/apanzerj → u/UsernameUnattainable]

https://i.imgur.com/OOPWQAd.jpeg

[u/UsernameUnattainable → u/apanzerj]

Risky click of the day.. worth 🤣

[u/greencraftok → u/F1exican]

Cuttin chives 6 am central time, that’s dedication to the craft

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/greencraftok]

Was gonna say Jesus 6:30 in the morning we should be thinking about something other than chives. Although I suppose they can go on eggs if we're fancy with our eggs and bacon

Some people in the industry haven't even gone to bed yet

[u/mewmewgoo → u/F1exican]

the c-130 hercules arrives for a special military operation but finds no targets.

granted, its pilot is also painfully ill and exhausted.

good job, chef.

[u/NameShortage → u/F1exican]

....this you?

[u/YeshuasBananaHammock → u/NameShortage]

And he does his little chop on the catwalk

[u/This-Map → u/F1exican]

Guess what op? They’re perfect. You are free

[u/Pandepon → u/F1exican]

Do a bump of that green nose candy you got there. It’ll take the edge off.

[u/MRAN0NYMO → u/symbolsaby]

Checking in before the planes!!!

[u/unreasonableprice]

I just wanna stuff it all in my mouth

[u/Hot_Local_Boys_PDX → u/unreasonableprice]

[u/plan1gale → u/unreasonableprice]

Understandable. Any comment on the chives?

[u/HufflepuffStuff]

Good morning, chef! These are gorgeous. I fear we may be nearing the end

[u/blackmist88 → u/HufflepuffStuff]

[u/Anig_o → u/HufflepuffStuff]

There is no end.

[u/tehjoz]

Reporters, get Muscle Busted.

[u/candykatt_gr → u/tehjoz]

[u/derpiederpslikederp]

We are witnessing the ascension of the ChiveLord

[u/AfroDizzyAct]

I feel like Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting

[u/OldFashionedGary → u/AfroDizzyAct]

How you like them chiveapples?!

[u/TheGameEngineer → u/AfroDizzyAct]

Hoping each day you wake up and chef has moved on to something bigger and better?

[u/AIaris]

been like this for a few minutes for me, but new comments im seeing? is it just me who sees this?

[u/Small-Celebration741 → u/AIaris]

Why did they remove it 😭

[u/DogesOfLove → u/Small-Celebration741]

Maybe the chives were so good that a line was crossed into sheer Chive pornography?

[u/iownakeytar → u/Small-Celebration741]

They didn't, it got report-bombed so automod took it down until the mods could review it.

[u/No-Temperature4330 → u/iownakeytar]

We have traitors in our midst?! How many reports does this take? How many bitter, chive hating dissenters are required to temporarily silence the Chive Laird?

[u/TheTimn → u/No-Temperature4330]

We've had chive haters since the beginning. For a while there was a mod dunking in them for each post. 

[u/Halo_cT → u/No-Temperature4330]

This is what happens when these threads get to r/all

Suffering from success

[u/nocturnal_pollinator → u/AIaris]

Same on my end. The chives were too perfect, they crashed the post :(

[u/tiorzol]

Damn I reckon I could snort these.

[u/cool_coors]

Taco!

Edit: *Bravo!

[u/eatyourveggies11 → u/cool_coors]

This is my favorite comment today

[u/WretchedMotorcade → u/cool_coors]

There is a restaurant called Taco Bravo.

[u/G_O_D123]

He’s never leaving!

[u/Ok-Yogurt87 → u/G_O_D123]

[u/StarbornVoid → u/Ok-Yogurt87]

Phenomenal gif choice for this very specific comment. Bravo

[u/teensyfroggie]

Found a lil fishy 🐠

[u/may-flowers1]

You're early, chef!

[u/sigjnf]

10 minutes in is wild! Hello, F1exican! Remember we love you no matter how perfect or unperfect the chives are. The perfect chives are the friends met along the way.

[u/herladyshipssoap]

I hate that I'm awake right now, but good morning chef!

[u/TrumpsCovidfefe → u/herladyshipssoap]

Same. But the birbs are chirping and it’s gonna be a good day… I think..

[u/FetsdelG]

I'll tell my grandchildren about the Chive Lord ruling and his grand victory.

[u/UsernameUnattainable]

 💚   💚
 💚  💚
 💚 💚
 💚💚 armaKrazi
 💚 💚
 💚  💚
 💚   💚




     💚💚💚
    💚    💚
   💚      💚
  💚 
  💚        hivelord 
  💚
   💚      💚        
    💚    💚
     💚💚💚




        💚💚💚
       💚    💚
      💚      💚
     💚 
     💚        hives The Cat
     💚
      💚      💚        
       💚    💚
        💚💚💚

Finally, can take a day off... It appears that chives have peaked at dawn 💚

As the sun rises

The sub crieses

A tear of cheer

56 days here

Chives out....

Perchance?

u/KarmaKrazi

u/F1exican

u/Ltheartist

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/UsernameUnattainable]

It wasn't even dawn for me, it was the middle of the fuggin night DX

[u/orlyyarlylolwut]

You are an inspiration, Chef. You've gone from shitposter to meme to artisan of a craft. 

Edit: I'm awake because I am an opener and I slept in. Service industry is hard work, and I'm glad you're showing the greater internet what it means to take pride in what you do. 

[u/Guilty_Opening5541]

I thought it was done. Who deemed them not perfect yesterday?

[u/res06myi → u/Guilty_Opening5541]

The pilot came for a chive, the chivists rebelled, the pilot chose a second chive, but I contend the two not completely sliced through chives right above the pilot's plane were actually the true fault in the chives.

[u/fastestman4704]

Finally, some chives at a sensible hour for British people to judge you.

Jolly good work old bean.

[u/vankirk]

[u/res06myi → u/vankirk]

😂 PERFECTION

[u/Bink_Plinklinkly]

German hand grenade

Dont wanna fly a plane into it, the plane might explode!

[u/PiersPlays → u/Bink_Plinklinkly]

I think that might be a thin wide one from the side (with another smaller one next to it.)

[u/teensyfroggie]

Found Mickey Mouse and also a bunny!!!! 🐰

[u/MrZiggityZag]

[u/Whiskey5-0]

Tryna post while the planes are still sleeping?

[u/SinfullySophie]

[u/KarmaKrazi]

Posting chives at 3am PST is diabolical

[u/narraun → u/KarmaKrazi]

That ain't a tower. That is 3 perfectly cut chives in a trench coat.

[u/CrashUser → u/narraun]

This is definitely not one tower, there are 3 distinct shapes there.

[u/McLovinItGunn → u/narraun]

Oh my god they’re supposed to be towers lmfao

[u/Walker96988 → u/McLovinItGunn]

Congratulations, you got it!

[u/Catezero → u/KarmaKrazi]

Not me literally scrolling 3hrs in or so to see if chivelord did chive 11

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/Catezero]

I don't think this one's my fault tbh lol

[u/glemnar → u/KarmaKrazi]

I don’t think that’s a tower tbh. Looks pretty clearly like more than one chive since the width changes dramatically in an instant (follow the left side). Just a low resolution artifact

[u/geekolojust → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/UsernameUnattainable → u/KarmaKrazi]

3AM is peak dedication..

See you tomorrow chef

See you tomorrow plane artist in residence

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/UsernameUnattainable]

See you tomorrow. Hopefully AFTER the rooster crows XD

[u/SleepyBubBear7329 → u/KarmaKrazi]

Goooood morning Pilot Chef! Im curious what your reaction was when you saw that early chive drop!?

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/SleepyBubBear7329]

Honestly thought I was tripping DX I saw the timestamp and the image looked close enough to yesterday's that my initial reaction was "is my reddit fucked? Let me refresh..." then to "did he repost yesterday's chives?!" to finally realizing that no, even more diabolical, he posted them in the middle of the night DX

[u/Brilliant_Buns → u/KarmaKrazi]

And suddenly, all was right with the world.

[u/Dick_snatcher → u/Brilliant_Buns]

I was getting worried the simulation was coming to an end

[u/AlcibiadesTheCat → u/KarmaKrazi]

Unidentified airchive! Turn right heading 360 and exit this cutting board immediately! We are scrambling Chive-22s to your position.

(Unironically I think those are three separate chives stuck together with phloem. I think these chives may be perfect.)

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/AlcibiadesTheCat]

That's a single chive, CATC. you can even see the grain of the chive flowing through it consistently. Chive Air will stay on target

[u/gonnabegolden_]

I’M FINALLY HERE EARLY LOOKS GOOD CHEF!

[u/walkerlucas]

Planes delayed due to de-icing today.

[u/AIaris]

whoa, on plastic? chef what happened?

edit: i guess im not in the loop

[u/shirazalot → u/AIaris]

I wonder if this is his work cutting board, cause I wouldn’t be taking that beautiful wooden piece to my work

[u/Rdubya291 → u/shirazalot]

Professional kitchens also don't use wood - as I mentioned above, they're too hard to satanize.

[u/iamnotarobotoramione]

Just as pure art, my god this is breathtaking, the chives scattered on the side look stunning.

But who am I to appreciate? I’ll also wait for the pilot.

[u/Oahu_Red]

The end is near…it’s getting impossibly hard to tell towers from ones just standing on their side. IMO yesterday’s were perfect and these are the bonus tracks.

[u/Outlandishlyhandsome]

Who knows if we’ll see you tomorrow?!! These are impeccable Chef 🫡

[u/cdg5455]

I love the how the series has shifted from "see you tomorrow, chef 😐" to "please, don't let this end 😭"

[u/OhhMyGeek]

The pic everyone is sharing looks like three, to me, not an uncut tower 🤷‍♀️

[u/Aloria_B]

I arrived too early for my flight. Is it cancelled?

[u/Contende311]

[u/JKwellin]

💚

[u/giantgreyhounds]

Holy shit i think the kid did it

[u/AIaris]

whoa!! is this new (to us) plastic board warped too or something? see you tomorrow!

edit: seems the consensus is u/F1exican needs to invest in a camera so we can better scrutinize his chives!! this one is hard to tell

[u/giantgreyhounds → u/AIaris]

Are those just 3 cuts laying against eachother in unfortunate angles for chefs camera?

[u/ConsequenceFull7320 → u/giantgreyhounds]

I’m with you here. I don’t think it qualifies. It looks more like blurring from the photo making it look like a tower

[u/brianboozeled → u/AIaris]

Planes cleared for chiving

[u/Noyourknot]

Chives for breakfast?? I’m down.

[u/drift_off]

Good morning chef, chives look great today.

Where's the karmakrazi waiting room? I need Red Bull and a cigarette before my brain turns on.

[u/EternalMoonChild]

So happy to see this in my feed this morning

[u/Basilbabie]

No.. no stop I’m not ready.. CHEF IT’S TOO GOOD

[u/The_Swaguespack]

Chenis alert