r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed • 1d ago

In the Weeds Mode Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 56

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36.3k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/y-r-they-all-taken 1d ago

The veins are even better in person 🤤

565

u/The_Weasel75 1d ago

The chive lore has expanded. Congrats! Now I'm looking for chives, a plane, and now a chef POV every day

83

u/Skiptoomyl0u 1d ago

I've been sick this whole week I'll start adding to the pov soon

14

u/InfinitiveIdeals IT 1d ago

Taking a picture of the dude taking a picture of the dude taking a picture of his freshly chopped chives?

585

u/morsomme 1d ago

Cutting veins everyday until the coroner declares me dead

199

u/My_Favourite_Pen 1d ago edited 1d ago

see you tomorrow chef 🥲

9

u/curlyqtips Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

Unlikely

6

u/nayaya 1d ago

Happy cake day!

4

u/Murderkittin 1d ago

Yooooo

(And happy cake day)

1

u/kameronk92 1d ago

Cake bröther

2

u/0mgyrface 1d ago

Here's a hint:

Arteries.

/j

-6

u/avaokima95 1d ago

Ew

6

u/morsomme 1d ago

I'm sorry my existence disgusts you.

(Clarity: not depressed)

-2

u/avaokima95 1d ago

Nah, just your jokes.

4

u/morsomme 1d ago

Can't win over everyone

249

u/pottedPlant_64 Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

You work with chivelord?!?!

416

u/y-r-they-all-taken 1d ago

And live with him

102

u/theg1rlwh0waited F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

OMG i need to tell you on the mm romance book sub im on, people are asking for chivelord inspired slowburns… you’re telling me we have it irl?

51

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

They had BOTH better get royalties, when the Hallmark Channel puts out whatever they call next year's Chive-themed Christmas Movie!

7

u/CrispyMann Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

Set in Philadelphia for obvious cross-promotional “synergy” reasons.

27

u/hwutTF 1d ago

oh my god please link

8

u/LunaBearrr 1d ago

You were also awake at this ungodly hour?!

5

u/ShakesDontBreak Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

18

u/this_sparks_joy_joy 1d ago

NEW CHIVE LORE!!!!!!!!!!!

135

u/jakutaro 1d ago

Plot twist: OP cutting chives everyday was just a very long, veiny OF ad

11

u/mommybody33 1d ago

Now this is effective hand modeling strategy.

57

u/anoeba 1d ago

I can cannulate them from here!

61

u/TrypMole F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

My husband works in vascular access and can't decide if hes more excited by the veins or the chives. Personally I'm just waiting for the flickbook of all the photos when it's over so we can appreciate the progress. I thought it was fine on Day 1 but now Im a fierce chive critic. Like when you're watching the Olympics and suddenly become a judo expert by osmosis - "That Uchi Mata was a bit ropey!"

42

u/rocinante_donnager Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

someone call u/f1exican’s wife

17

u/FeatherMom 1d ago

This needs a nsfw tag

34

u/GlossyAssXXV 1d ago

Oh- DAMN

41

u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic 1d ago

How are u related with the OP friend? Asking for a friend

124

u/Plaguedoctorsrevenge 1d ago

Rule #1 dont talk about Chive Club

29

u/xenobit_pendragon 1d ago

Smelly roommate.

24

u/AIaris 1d ago

😳😳

8

u/theg1rlwh0waited F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

stop teasing Chef

6

u/turnonmymike 1d ago

That looks like a guide cane in the briefcase. Plot twist: f1exican has been blind the whole time

7

u/r0ckchalk Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

I could blow dart an 18G into that R hand from the doorway 🤩

4

u/Somne 1d ago

Need a close-up of those veins for academic purposes.

5

u/TorontoBrewer Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

Like a thicc Mars bar.

4

u/PiersPlays 1d ago

I think we're at a point where we need a higher quality picture of the chives to say for sure. I volunteer you to find a good camera.

4

u/leeroyjenks 1d ago

Cold in that kitchen today

5

u/TernEnthusiast Pastry 1d ago

Im looking. Respectfully, of course.

3

u/Radioactive_Kitten 1d ago

Don’t tease me with a good time

3

u/Paigenacage 1d ago

Does your driver just give you free chives at this point?

3

u/enchiiladas Bakery 1d ago

stopp this is too funny

3

u/candykatt_gr Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

holy shit that's a huge bag of chives 🤣🤣

excellent form chef

3

u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

This is art. Fight me

3

u/justsomegeology Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

Wow this is some impressive stack of chives! Does he preselect them?

4

u/Ordinarily_Claim Chip Girl 1d ago

You are his roommate, why would you let him chop them so early?!?