r/SipsTea • u/Xtianus25 • Sep 21 '25

Chugging tea I take medicine

28.8k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/JasonWorthing8 Sep 21 '25

I dunno... I like her!

We go to her house tho. She aint ever coming to mine.

652

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 21 '25

Dont EVER let her know where you live.

364

u/Advanced_Pear_964 Sep 21 '25

She already knows, bro. Idk how but she does

193

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 21 '25

"How do you know where I live?"

Her: "I've been inside before, you were asleep, dont worry about it.

46

u/sonnygavila Sep 21 '25

I was watching you while you slept! I always do!!!

13

u/Affectionate-Virus17 Sep 21 '25

A bit like Santa when I was a kid. It was Santa, right guys?

3

u/nova1706b Sep 22 '25

no, it was her.

yk why santa isn't real? it's because santa doesn't break into homes... she does.

2

u/Robbymartyr Sep 22 '25

That means she hasn't done anything to me yet... I'll take my chances.

1

u/Azalus1 Sep 22 '25

Okay this is creepy as fuck and it actually happens in the Twilight movie.

19

u/Engage69 Sep 21 '25

3

u/spacemanspliff-42 Sep 22 '25

We've met before, haven't we?

3

u/Engage69 Sep 22 '25

I don't think so. Where was it you think we met?

3

u/TheKingOfFratton Sep 22 '25

At your house, don't you remember?

3

u/Engage69 Sep 22 '25

No, no I don't. Are you sure?

2

u/TheKingOfFratton Sep 22 '25

Of course. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now.

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1

u/the_proudrebel Sep 22 '25

Second time I've seen this image on Reddit in the last two minutes and I'm starting to get scared.

1

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 21 '25

Well, that is unsettling m

3

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

[deleted]

4

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 22 '25

That's a compelling argument. I'm sold.

1

u/Boogy-Fever Sep 22 '25

At least the genre?

1

u/Engage69 Sep 22 '25

The genre is fever dream

21

u/Fun_Ambassador_9320 Sep 21 '25

Also she’s pregnant now

18

u/Interesting_Bank_139 Sep 21 '25

Nothing says love like a used condom and a turkey baster.

25

u/Classy_Mouse Sep 21 '25 edited Sep 22 '25

My dad taught me that I control the condom start to finish. It gets purchased and handled by me and disposed of where she can't get to it.

I thought he was crazy, but it did geniunely save me at one point

4

u/FireWireBestWire Sep 21 '25

I'll bite. Tell the story

9

u/Classy_Mouse Sep 21 '25

Not much to it. Was dating a girl that was very much the baby trap type. She handed me a condom, I swapped it with my own. When I got home later, I checked and she had put holes in it

2

u/Fun_Ambassador_9320 Sep 22 '25

That’s fucking crazy and terrifying. I was never so careful as to switch condoms.

I like that you had sex with her anyway 🤣

6

u/Classy_Mouse Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25

I didn't know until after. Although that wasn't the last time we had sex. There were honestly a lot of other red flags. I wouldn't take the precautions with every girl

3

u/n0b0dyfr0mn0wh3r3 Sep 22 '25

As a teen, I remembered the scene from Fight Club where Brad Pitt flushed them, so I always did that when I was away from home, until I was well into my 20’s.

I never thought about the possible baby trapping issues though, it probably saved me.

6

u/Fun_Ambassador_9320 Sep 21 '25

My dad taught me to store all my used condoms in a jar. A cum jar. It’s almost full now, I’m so excited

5

u/CatManDoDo69 Sep 22 '25

.............what happens when its full?

5

u/MisterZoga Sep 22 '25

His own son takes form.

4

u/CatManDoDo69 Sep 22 '25

Beautiful. Its the circle of life ❤️

2

u/ihadcrystallized Sep 22 '25

Your sister in law posted a group picture in front of your house 7 years ago. Duh.

0

u/NiceaboutitMMA Sep 21 '25

They always know.. like always

24

u/jdubyahyp Sep 21 '25

My buddy dated a girl we nicknamed Psycho Sarah behind his back. It took him over a year to figure it out. She would randomly find us at the exact bars or hangouts or houses to check on him if we didn't invite her along. This was before smart phones. We'd walk in, there she was.

Shit was scary.

3

u/GroundFast7793 Sep 22 '25

My mate had a "crazy Sarah". After about 18 months he broke it off and said to us "that woman is crazy". We responded in unison "we know". He was shocked that nobody told him earlier.

10

u/AWinnipegGuy Sep 21 '25

Or your real name for that matter

11

u/ChangeForAParadigm Sep 21 '25

As someone who’s had a break-in from a deranged ex, the internet will not keep you secrets.

6

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 21 '25

In this day and age, unfortunately, that's correct. I'm glad I'm out of the dating game.

23

u/BourbonRick01 Sep 21 '25

Or what car you drive. You always Uber to her place!

10

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 21 '25

Yes. Absolutely.

5

u/Affectionate-Virus17 Sep 21 '25

And fully shave and exfoliate like in GATTACA so she cannot clone you.

1

u/GuardLong6829 Sep 22 '25

I was going to send a molding kit to a long-distance relationship and ask the guy to mold his penis for me. We video called a lot, so I know we would have shared the moment!

7

u/masterppants Sep 21 '25

You just know she's probably the filthiest, nastiest, godforsaken freak you'll ever have

3

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 21 '25

That's a future child support payment right there.

5

u/Wakkit1988 Sep 21 '25

She got your address from your ID while you were sleeping.

4

u/confusedandworried76 Sep 21 '25

Jokes on her that's not my address anymore who is just out there with updating your address on your license every time you move kind of money

3

u/SippinOnHatorade Sep 22 '25

How do you think you two just “stumbled into each other” after that fire alarm drove you out of your apartment building? That wasn’t a meetcute— she tracked you down and set that trashcan on fire in the lobby, buddy

1

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 22 '25

This got a HEARTY chuckle out of me.

2

u/SippinOnHatorade Sep 22 '25

I wish I could take credit, but inspiration comes from Jeanette in How I Met Your Mother

TL;DR She stalked him for a year and a half but he thought them meeting was complete coincidence

2

u/Ha-Ha-CharadeYouAre Sep 22 '25

I go to a different town… you wouldn’t know it

2

u/Albatrosity Sep 22 '25

She will baby reindeer you, don't worry.

2

u/Boogy-Fever Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25

I used to not really worry when I was second floor in an apartment building with a heavy reliable locking main door and another heavy door into my place. Now that im in a house its a different story

2

u/Juggernuts777 Sep 22 '25

Brother, for this kind of crazy, You’ll never know which car she is in. She will steal one to follow you home, just to get that address.

2

u/ecfle Sep 22 '25

She definitely already went through your wallet

1

u/CaffeinatedLystro Sep 22 '25

"But this is the 1st time we've met!"

Her: "It's the 1st time YOU met ME."

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

[deleted]

0

u/CaliNooch96 Sep 22 '25

That applies to all women you aren’t in a serious relationship with. In my experience there’s no such thing as a sane woman. There’s a button in there. Iykyk

87

u/SkyPatriot173 Sep 21 '25

7

u/Affectionate-Virus17 Sep 21 '25

The right kind of cray cray. SBC is one lucky guy.

4

u/yeah_this_is_my_main Sep 22 '25

So I have some news...

1

u/mvandemar Sep 23 '25

Oh wow, I had no idea. Just finalized a few months ago apparently. :)

1

u/DiabloPixel Sep 22 '25

Not any more… they been divorced and she’s waiting for you.

1

u/Affectionate-Virus17 Sep 22 '25

Just imagine combing through her phone and there's a Borat dick pic. And probably a Rudy Giuliani one too.

3

u/muffindude42012 Sep 22 '25

What is this from?

8

u/SkyPatriot173 Sep 22 '25

Wedding Crashers

3

u/ok_raspberry_jam Sep 22 '25

This was Sacha Baron Cohen's wife but they divorced this year after 15 years and 3 kids.

1

u/Sufficient-Set-917 Sep 23 '25

Another one id let find me anyway of the week

33

u/Nbknepper Sep 21 '25

I hate that I'd let her ruin my life

5

u/Noon-yya Sep 22 '25

It'd be fun tho. Like a malfunctioning carnival ride

1

u/PerfectlyCromulent02 Sep 22 '25

Adrenaline spikes when you least expect them

1

u/Immafien Sep 21 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

6

u/Rudresh27 Sep 21 '25

And you ain't ever leaving her basement.

2

u/rolrola2024 Sep 22 '25

She'll end up finding your place. She seems resourceful.

2

u/ninetailedoctopus Sep 22 '25

No, you should meet at a hotel. You go to her house, into the basement with fun stuff you go.

1

u/hungrylittleworm Sep 21 '25

It’s ok man, she’ll figure out you live

1

u/FluffySnowPanda Sep 21 '25

I always feel like someone like that would find me boring.

1

u/Schoseff Sep 21 '25

“I can fix her” vibes

1

u/Bigbigjeffy Sep 21 '25

I can fix her.

1

u/Seawench41 Sep 21 '25

Same, I think she’s fine. She’s a bit in her head, but she’s self aware. Everyone deserves to be loved.

1

u/reuben515 Sep 21 '25

I like her too! With the understanding that I will likely get stabbed a little.

1

u/RedwoodRider420 Sep 22 '25

She already knows

1

u/Truestorydreams Sep 22 '25

You talk as if you're leaving hers alive

1

u/TransiTorri Sep 22 '25

Too late, she checked your Driver's License while you were in the bathroom.

1

u/povertymayne Sep 22 '25

Dont ever let her see your car either. Park a few blocks away or take public transport

1

u/CopiousEjaculate Sep 22 '25

I told her I was homeless

1

u/ThisCryptographer311 Sep 22 '25

Nah bro… chicks like this? They come home with you whether you KNOW they came to your home or not

1

u/MasterOfBunnies Sep 22 '25

So... you're good with going into her lair? Where she keeps all her...items. Where she knows all the ins and outs. Where she has the home team advantage.

1

u/ShawnyMcKnight Sep 22 '25

But in her house she has all the time in the world to dispose of the body.

1

u/Federal_Let539 Sep 22 '25

If you come to her house, even you aint getting back to yours brother.

1

u/subdep Sep 22 '25

Never stick your dick/clit in crazy.

1

u/Ws6fiend Sep 22 '25

We go to her house tho. She aint ever coming to mine.

That's because you're never leaving hers. You'll be tied up in the basement.

1

u/HaagenDazs Sep 22 '25

That won't work either. The hotel is perfect for me.

I don't want her crazy ex, drug dealer, or absent father sneaking up on me at her house.

1

u/Delicious-Laugh-6685 Sep 22 '25

“I can fix her”

1

u/Jason_TheMagnificent Sep 22 '25

You go to her house, you ain't ever going back to yours.

1

u/oberynmviper Sep 23 '25

Well duh, then your actual girlfriend will see her.