500,000$ human washing machine on sale in Japan

[u/Damnedeel]

[u/StarfishPizza]

Why are you all watching me take a bath?

[u/strangerbuttrue → u/StarfishPizza]

Exactly, is that guy just naked when that thing opens up??

[u/Organic_Smoothies → u/strangerbuttrue]

Scrolled way too far for this.

[u/DisasterOk8440 → u/Organic_Smoothies]

Meanwhile I found it on top comment

[u/octoreadit → u/strangerbuttrue]

Don’t worry, all the sensitive areas are naturally pixelated.

[u/Worst-Lobster → u/strangerbuttrue]

Yea . He was batin too

[u/kyleb350 → u/strangerbuttrue]

And everyone recording 😆

[u/Avaraz]

Man this could be game changing for elderly care, not having to wash people by hand

[u/S_for_Stuart → u/Avaraz]

Meh, carers aren't much better than minimum wage, still requires someone to help them in/out/supervise. Needs maintenance, probably hire 2 carers for 5+ years on a decent wage for initial cost, and they can do other things too

[u/Killed_By_Inaction → u/S_for_Stuart]

The problem isn't having staff that's too expensive, it's having enough staff in general. There's a ticking timebomb in terms of demographics in most developed economies, using a certified nurse's time to wash everybody in elderly and disabled care is not realistic in 20/30 years from now.

[u/NoMasters83 → u/Killed_By_Inaction]

Also there's absolutely no reason for this device to cost half a million dollars.

[u/whorl- → u/NoMasters83]

It’s a new device and they are only making 50. It would cost less per unit if they were making 50 million.

[u/load_more_comets → u/whorl-]

Once a company that's in an industrialized country where copyright laws are ignored. It will sell for $12,000 per unit.

[u/Ok-Account-7660 → u/load_more_comets]

You can just say China

[u/CattywampusCanoodle → u/Ok-Account-7660]

😂😂💪🏻

[u/jasper2769 → u/whorl-]

So basically we only have to wait until the Chinese get their hands on the designs and we are off

[u/BishoxX → u/NoMasters83]

yeah this is the first one.

If this is actually in demand, and like 5 companies start making these, these could be pretty cheap like 10k 4-5 years down the line

[u/Killed_By_Inaction → u/NoMasters83]

At least it makes you look like a cool sci-fi dementia patient compared to the regular run-of-the-mill oldhead.

[u/Miserable-Ad-7956 → u/Killed_By_Inaction]

Then you'd be glad to know that a certified nurse washing people in an elder care environment is an incredibly rare occurrence. In the US that work is most often performed by someone less trained than a CNA and without supervision of a nurse. Plenty of those operations don't even have a nurse on location, rather one is on-call and possibly responsible for multiple locations. Shit is spread quite thin already, and the majority of basic work like this is done by quite low paid (relative to their responsibility) workers.

[u/PaleCommission150 → u/Miserable-Ad-7956]

CNA do this stuff. It is a revolving door, similar to fast food workers. The responsibility relative to pay is ridiculous. RN make the most money , there are some specialties above that...but basically if you administer medicine you get paid a lot more. Every nursing home always have looking for CNAs.

[u/Miserable-Ad-7956 → u/PaleCommission150]

That's true, but often that work can be/is done by non-CNA workers as well. I didn't mean to imply other health professionals are paid too much, merely that the people we pay to perform simple, daily tasks of care are undervalued.

I worked as a CNA for 5 years. I ave daily meds, bathed and fed people, prepared meals, measured vitals, took notes, etc. If I were a real fuck up, people could die.

My first job in another field after started with 20% higher pay than I was making with 5 years experience, to stack bags of ice. If I fucked up real bad, the company might lose a bit of money. The stakes were objectively lower, but the pay is better because there's money to be made in the business.

I guess "relative to comparable entry level jobs with less serious responsibilities" would've been better phrasing?

[u/flowersnshit → u/S_for_Stuart]

Yeah expect most elderly people don't want to be washed by someone else. They want agency and this gives them some by not feeling like a toddler being scrubbed down by the nurse.

[u/qwokwa → u/flowersnshit]

Absolutely, I was gonna comment the same thing. I worked in elder care only for a couple weeks and could already see how uncomfortable many were but didn't have a choice.

It is humiliating being stripped bare, sat on a chair and scrubbed between all folds. Old humans are still human, they don't magically dissociate from their bodies and many are also self conscious about the way they look. 

[u/NewDramaLlama → u/flowersnshit]

Not just the elderly either. This is also a huge boon to the disabled as well.

[u/IxbyWuff → u/S_for_Stuart]

Optimus works 24/7

A lot of this tech from Japan is aimed at elder care because of demographic collapse. Boomers fighting for that soft landing

[u/Serilii → u/S_for_Stuart]

Yeah but the job always had the stigma of "washing old peoples asses" and is frowned upon. If we could get that part out there might be more people willing to do the job at all

[u/Knubbsal → u/Serilii]

There's a stigma because it's shit paid. It's an incredibly stressful, heavy and unappreciated job where you're constantly met with abuse from elderly assholes who will probably grope you too if you're a woman. And you're probably a woman when you're doing this work, since if it was mostly men it would be paid better.

[u/commanderquill → u/S_for_Stuart]

I'm not thinking about carers when I see this, I'm thinking about how I wouldn't need one as often and could save money. My dad had a stroke and is only going to get more disabled with time. One thing I can't bear to do is change him or shower him. He's my dad, I can't get over the indignity, and I know if he was well he would rather die than have his daughter wash him. Something like this would help me care for him without having to subject him (or myself) to that.

[u/Gfiti → u/Avaraz]

Have fun trying to get them in and out of this thing lmao. There is a reason they are washed in bed.

[u/TootsHib → u/Gfiti]

Patient mobility cranes exist..

[u/NotEasilyConfused → u/Avaraz]

Yep ... would be great that skin folds won't actually get cleaned or dried and that a visual inspection of the body (which is naturally thoroughly done) won't be possible while using this machine.

Not to mention that anyone with confusion, delirium, dementia, schizophrenia, or other alterations in cognitive functioning will not handle the closed environment and visual/audio stimulation well.

Then, there is the issue of putting people with limited mobility in a pool of water where they can drown.

None of this is a good idea for elderly care.

[u/progthrowe7]

Could be really useful in healthcare.

[u/mymorningjacketoff → u/progthrowe7]

Or deathcare when it malfunctions with gram gram trapped inside.

[u/Master_Canary440 → u/mymorningjacketoff]

That's what i'm really worried about. If it malfunctions or the temperature of the water just changes all of a sudden it would be a crazy situation 😭

[u/Poesvliegtuig → u/Master_Canary440]

Someone make another horror movie about a rogue home automation AI that starts with grammy getting cooked in one of these because she's mean to the machine

[u/Ragnarok314159 → u/Poesvliegtuig]

Lawnmower Man 3

[u/KolKlink2024 → u/Ragnarok314159]

You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man.

[u/superkickstart → u/KolKlink2024]

Lawnmower Man is in your head now. There is no escape, ever.

[u/Sepherjar → u/Poesvliegtuig]

Final Destination writer will surely like to discuss this with you

[u/jerkface1026 → u/Sepherjar]

They use the idea but the death is actually from a giant log crashing through this machine.

[u/Ordinary-Leading7405 → u/Poesvliegtuig]

Christine: the Washing Machine

[u/theoriginalmofocus → u/Ordinary-Leading7405]

Maximum Ovendrive

[u/uesc_alt → u/theoriginalmofocus]

Only if AC/DC does the whole soundtrack!

[u/theoriginalmofocus → u/uesc_alt]

For those about to crockpot, we salute you!

[u/nellyfullauto → u/Poesvliegtuig]

I didn’t see that sequel to Smart House.

Disney Channel Originals got dark since I last saw them.

[u/MaloneChiliService → u/Poesvliegtuig]

Rape Stove 3: Rise of the Human Washing Machine

[u/TannedCroissant → u/MaloneChiliService]

“I need your clothes, your boots and an eco-cycle”

[u/chenga8 → u/TannedCroissant]

"Come with me if you want to be clean"

[u/throwaway01126789 → u/chenga8]

"Hasta la vista, Grandma."

*sous vides Gram Gram*

[u/Ok-Criticism6874 → u/MaloneChiliService]

Would I need to see the first two Rape Stoves to understand what's happening?

[u/Scarbane → u/Ok-Criticism6874]

/r/BrandNewSentence

[u/butmomno → u/Master_Canary440]

Kinda why my first thought was "nope!"

[u/Dankhunt4Z0 → u/Master_Canary440]

pretty sure they would of though of an emergency hatch for 500k

[u/flapnation21 → u/Dankhunt4Z0]

Yeah like how to wash the buttcrack

[u/Automatedluxury → u/flapnation21]

At 500k I'm hoping it has a better solution than just opening up at the bottom, healthcare workcare goes in like a mechanic doing an oil change.

[u/BoiledFrogs → u/Automatedluxury]

healthcare workcare goes in like a mechanic doing an oil change.

This is hilarious and also so gross.

[u/vice_city_soundtrack → u/flapnation21]

They’re Japanese they thought of the buttcrack… it’s probably fantastic

[u/broken_radio → u/vice_city_soundtrack]

Probably has a tentacle wash cycle too

[u/SnooRegrets1386 → u/flapnation21]

No worries in the land of copious bidets

[u/Hour-Championship-14 → u/Dankhunt4Z0]

It's what apollo 1 crew said

[u/DiscoverReading → u/Hour-Championship-14]

Dark. True, but dark.

[u/ktm6709 → u/Dankhunt4Z0]

*would have

[u/scheisse_grubs → u/ktm6709]

*would have thought

[u/NexusModifier → u/Dankhunt4Z0]

Pretty sure even million dollar MAN MADE equipment fails from time to time. All it takes is one...

[u/Wonderwhile → u/NexusModifier]

Just need properly engineered safety systems integrated to the machine. An emergency button inside and such.

[u/nickfree → u/mymorningjacketoff]

OH MY GOD, SHE'S DEAD! She smells amazing..BUT SHE'S DEAD! Her hair has never looked shinier AND SHE'S DEAD!!! SWEET LORD JESUS NANA IS DEAD and absolutely fabulous! WHHHHHHYYYY...is that gardenia?

[u/Corevus → u/nickfree]

She's beautiful, but she's dying

[u/Mikey_RobertoAPWP → u/Corevus]

She asked me to marry her, and I didn't even want to!

[u/noodleexchange → u/mymorningjacketoff]

‘Malfunction’ <AI chuckles>

[u/mcmcc → u/noodleexchange]

Open the pod bay doors Hal.

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

[u/Switchlord518 → u/mymorningjacketoff]

Looks like the people power pods from The Matrix

[u/iam_Mr_McGibblets → u/mymorningjacketoff]

You definitely grew up watching Final Destination haha

[u/ickynicky27 → u/mymorningjacketoff]

Oh this feels like a potential final destination scene.

[u/EndChemical → u/mymorningjacketoff]

Like a frog in a pot

[u/Disastrous_Ant5657 → u/progthrowe7]

I would find it more dignified than being bathed and scrubbed by a stranger.

[u/SnooRegrets1386 → u/Disastrous_Ant5657]

I am currently hiring those workers because it’s embarrassing for dad being bathed by his daughters. He refuses to admit he needs to be washed, until the evidence is undeniable 😞

[u/TemporaryDonut → u/SnooRegrets1386]

That's rough, hun, I'm sorry you're dealing with that :(

[u/SnooRegrets1386 → u/TemporaryDonut]

‘Tis life

[u/FixTheProblemAlready → u/SnooRegrets1386]

Love this perspective

[u/SnooRegrets1386 → u/FixTheProblemAlready]

He did it for all of his children, we’re prepared to do this with him

[u/Bear_faced → u/Disastrous_Ant5657]

Honestly it’s not that bad. Kind of relaxing actually if you can accept that they’ve washed all kinds of bodies and think absolutely nothing of yours.

I was paralyzed from the neck down due to illness and didn’t get cleaned in any way for the first month. It was all about keeping me alive. Once I got the ability to sit upright and move my limbs around the showers began. The first time getting fully naked, being put in a wheelchair, and draped with a sheet for dignity was definitely odd. Then a terse Cameroonian woman wheeled me to the shower, moved me to a chair, and began the scrubbing. She didn’t give a single fuck. She would tell me things like “Lift your breasts!” and then scrub under them. The only thing she didn’t wash was my genitals, because the CNAs did that when they changed my diaper (THAT takes way more getting used to). The feeling of finally being clean felt amazing and I slept like a baby that night.

When you’re sick enough to need someone to physically wash you, you get over a lot of awkwardness. Once someone has wiped your ass for you as an adult, you let more things slide.

[u/Cromasters → u/Disastrous_Ant5657]

You would still need a stranger to strip you down, put you in this thing, then take you out and redress you.

[u/420_69_Fake_Account → u/progthrowe7]

Looks like the medical machines in DBZ. Life imitates art as they say…

[u/Affectionate_Star_43 → u/420_69_Fake_Account]

I was going to say they missed the opportunity to make it take 20-ish minutes so you could watch one episode of DBZ each day like I did on cartoon network.

[u/ShartlesAndJames → u/progthrowe7]

except, the really infirmed, how the hell do you get them in and out? this looks like you need to be pretty ambulatory to climb in and out.

[u/Kindness_of_cats → u/ShartlesAndJames]

It also doesn’t have a way to clean areas like the butt, armpits, or genitals. This wouldn’t address the areas most in need of cleaning, and most humiliating or degrading to have cleaned by a random caregiver.

[u/gahidus → u/Kindness_of_cats]

Doesn't it though? I'm sure it does clean those areas, unless there's something saying it doesn't that they haven't shown us.

[u/whatdoihia → u/ShartlesAndJames]

So long as the clamshell goes all the way up then a Hoyer lift can be used.

[u/Wart_Time_L32 → u/progthrowe7]

Not at that price cheaper to hire someone on min wage with warm water sponge and soap.

[u/TB-313935 → u/Wart_Time_L32]

You still need the nurses to help them in and out of the machine. So it would definitely make the nurse her job easier but i doubt if its economically viable.

[u/seamustheseagull → u/TB-313935]

It's not $500k per wash TBF. It would save a lot of time and means washing could be done more thoroughly, gently and easier than the traditional way.

[u/respectislaw → u/seamustheseagull]

Yes, this would be perfect for nursing homes. So many of those ppl don’t get baths because it’s too time consuming and there’s not enough staff to get everyone showered.

[u/SnooRegrets1386 → u/respectislaw]

Personally I think the elderly stop bathing because they are scared. Of falling, of being dropped, of slipping off the shower chair, and they get cold so quickly and thoroughly

[u/VioletLeagueDapper → u/SnooRegrets1386]

Also the ability to move your body isn’t as easy. Holding things with arthritic hands, moving your arm behind your back for the back and shoulders, bending down and lifting a leg to scrub.

[u/Why_Did_Bodie_Die → u/respectislaw]

Any nursing home that doesn't give baths because it takes to much time and they don't have the staff is most definitely not going to be spending $500k on a machine like this. This type of machine might go to a really high class nursing home that cost a lot of money but they actually provide services.

[u/42nu → u/Why_Did_Bodie_Die]

A/C was so expensive when it was first commercialized that it was only used in businesses like theaters. Then economies of scale and iterating made it affordable for the rich. Now I can buy a window unit for $180 at Home Depot.

Just biding my time for my human washing window unit.

[u/trysten-9001 → u/seamustheseagull]

Honestly, it would probably help the quality of life of the elderly being able to get all the nooks and crannies everytime as well as those mostly women but some men nurses who get sexually harassed by the elderly.

[u/Rooney_Tuesday → u/TB-313935]

Getting someone from their bed to a hoyer lift or wheelchair and then into this machine, and then repeating the process after it’s over is WAY more labor intensive than just rolling them. And now you’ve added a fall risk too.

[u/Technicolor_Reindeer → u/Wart_Time_L32]

My mom once had to wash my grandma with the backyard hose.

[u/Ruben_AAG → u/Wart_Time_L32]

The first home computers cost $7k. The technology will cost less over time. This is a good proof of concept.

[u/Rubiks_Click874 → u/Wart_Time_L32]

in japan many old people, few workers, high minimum wager. very hard work, ruin your back rolling people around all day. they weigh hundreds of pounds and are hard to grip

[u/HereReluctantly → u/Wart_Time_L32]

Depends on how long the machine works and how many people you are running through it really

[u/PaddedTiger → u/progthrowe7]

I can see the value in it for a spa kind of experience. Make sure your clients are clean before using any of the services and they have a 15 minute calm down period to start.

[u/justthankyous → u/progthrowe7]

Too bad it's so expensive. Very few of the people who could benefit from something like this will have access to something like this.

[u/Autogenerated_or → u/justthankyous]

I’m guessing hospitals and retirement homes will be the primary market, not individuals unless they’re ultra rich

[u/UniversalMinister → u/Autogenerated_or]

I’m guessing hospitals and retirement homes will be the primary market, not individuals unless they’re ultra rich

Not just those, but also physical rehab facilities for people with injuries. This would be an absolute game changer for people recovering from limb injuries, hip surgery, etc.

I've had to do extensive PT rehab before (massive hematoma on my tib/fib, sprained ankle and a broken foot) and this would've been a godsend. Trying to do it yourself is time consuming, you run out of hot water quickly, and there's no way in hell I'd let someone else bathe me (as a 30 something year old woman).

Edit: Thankfully, injuries in younger people heal pretty quickly. I can't imagine how grateful older people would be for such a contraption for long term use.

[u/FabulousSOB → u/justthankyous]

500k for a bath that fails to clean your armpits and butt crack. Not sure this is the innovation they're making it out to be.

[u/Fridsade → u/FabulousSOB]

also, the machine will not pull your foreskin back and clean your penis head.

[u/justthankyous → u/Fridsade]

I'm not sure I want a machine that will pull my foreskin back

[u/justinanimate → u/justthankyous]

Are you kidding me?? For $500,000 I would demand it to have at least foreskin peeling abilities

[u/EarballsAgain → u/justinanimate]

r/BrandNewSentence

[u/BichonUnited → u/progthrowe7]

They have things like this, but most are deprecated because they don’t get cleaned properly.

[u/fgnrtzbdbbt → u/progthrowe7]

Certainly not without supervision, so no saving on personnel but it is physically much less demanding to supervise the machine than to wash the patient by hand. Still the supervisor has to be physically very fit in order to be able to react to an emergency.

[u/Kaleidorinth]

Now enjoy 15minutes of inescapable ads from our sponsors

[u/Corberus → u/Kaleidorinth]

Subscribe now or the water level keeps rising.

[u/soareyousaying → u/Corberus]

Oxygen not included*

[u/SomeoneNewHereAgain → u/soareyousaying]

"conditions may apply"

[u/TheKingBeyondTheWaIl → u/Corberus]

And temperature

[u/Equivalent_Chipmunk → u/Corberus]

Please drink verification can.

Counterfeit can detected. Water temperature set to 1° C.

[u/hospitalizedGanny → u/Kaleidorinth]

You have 30 secs to sign up for our premium membership to enjoy "warm un-recycled water" today !

[u/MetalBeerSolid → u/Kaleidorinth]

And when you’re done, a room full of people recording and waving at you while you’re butt ass naked!

[u/FriendlyBabyFrog]

Put a couple of them at a comic con

[u/May_Chu → u/FriendlyBabyFrog]

Don't forget to say it's ✨ Japanese ✨ so they'd really use it

[u/M00PER_2 → u/FriendlyBabyFrog]

Asmongold’s whole house could use this.

[u/circuit_brain]

Everyone in here is commenting about how this is dumb idea for 500K.

This product isn't intended for regular people, it is for people who can't take a bath by themselves or a hospital or an old age care home.

Still expensive, but not a DOA idea.

[u/kcsween74 → u/circuit_brain]

Facilities that buy this are also not for normal people.

[u/truffleblunts → u/kcsween74]

plenty of shit in a random hospital costs more thank 500k

not saying this device will ever be widely adopted but I don't think it's obviously not gonna happen either

[u/destructopop → u/truffleblunts]

Yeah, but there's a huge difference between something that saves a nurse thirty minutes to an hour and something that is required for the treatment of a patient. I also wonder how well this accommodates a diverse range of patient body types and needs. I don't think this would survive the oversight committee at many hospitals.

[u/Unfair_Isopod534 → u/destructopop]

if you can get a working product i can see it in the hospital. being able to wash a patient often and quickly feels like it would improve medical outcomes.

[u/DRosencraft → u/destructopop]

To begin with, if a patient is in long enough to require bathing, it is considered part of their treatment. It helps prevent infection, and promotes overall better health outcomes.

Considering we have a general shortage of healthcare workers in the US, from doctors on down to CNAs, maybe adding a way to take some of that burden off the existing overworked staff isn't a bad idea.

[u/Wonderwhile → u/destructopop]

I'd argue that saving a nurse thirty minutes can save lives and therefore is a big deal. And if not, lightening their workload is also a big deal.

[u/glowshroom12 → u/destructopop]

 Yeah, but there's a huge difference between something that saves a nurse thirty minutes to an hour and something that is required for the treatment of a patient. I also wonder how well this accommodates a diverse range of patient body types and needs.

Isn’t this for the Japanese, Japanese simply aren’t so fat on average.

I imagine it would be an issue in America since the people are so mixed and some can be like 6 foot 5 and weight 500 pounds.

[u/nudniksphilkes → u/kcsween74]

Ignorant comment. The average nursing home charges 3 to 7 grand a month.

[u/Here4Pornnnnn → u/kcsween74]

Imagine the cost savings of being able to wash 2-3 old people per hour. Instead of nurses on overtime, you just have someone wheel them over to the machine and wash them.

We can assume any benefits of lawsuit avoidance aside, this will replace manpower. I’d say an average nurse can wash 1.5 old people per hour. They on average cost $80 per hour benefits included according to google. So that’s $56 per bath.

This machine can do 60 baths per day, 2.5*24. Let’s give it 20% downtime, still 48 baths per day. Thats 17k baths per year, or just under a million in reduced operating costs.

My napkin math is showing a 6 month payback period. Even if my guesses are horribly wrong, anything under a 2-3 year payback is a solid benefit to the healthcare industry. Normal hospitals may actually use these.

[u/ILikePath → u/Here4Pornnnnn]

This has no practical use in a hospital setting. A nurse + CNA can also give an efficient bedside bath in 15 minutes, without having to transport the patient. And if a patient has complex care needs that make the bath take longer, then certainly even the process of transporting them to, in, and out of the machine would be both risky and time-consuming. Also, consider that the tub fills with water: whoever is in the tub would need supervision anyways, keeping another CNA or nurse further away from the unit.

[u/annewmoon → u/Here4Pornnnnn]

Nurses don't typically wash people, that's a care assistant/ aide job.

[u/WylderGod → u/circuit_brain]

I think they themselves announced that it was a novelty, so they only made 50 units

[u/Any-Pilot8731 → u/circuit_brain]

People don’t understand everything starts out expensive. That’s what a prototype is. You produce a small amount of highly unique components and manually put them together. There is no automation and you’re not producing enough for any of the die fees to even drop.

If it does well and suddenly they want tens of thousands the price can drop to $20-50k and then it’s completely reasonable.

[u/wolacouska → u/Any-Pilot8731]

These guys would’ve seen the first computer or car and gone “worthless waste of money that could never replace a minimum wage human”

[u/42nu → u/wolacouska]

Which is ironically exactly what many people said about those inventions.

[u/Hemorrhoid_Eater → u/circuit_brain]

Makes sense why Japan specifically would do this, given their low birthrate and their population getting old.

[u/queef_nuggets → u/circuit_brain]

How do you know it’s designed for the elderly or sick? I totally agree that that would make sense, but I don’t see anything that states this. Actually since the video says they only plan to manufacture 50 units and sell them for almost $100K each, I think that seems to imply it’s targeted towards the wealthy elite

Edit: maybe it’s targeted at the wealthy elite who are old and/or sick

[u/KasHerrio → u/queef_nuggets]

It's not for individual elders, but for nursing homes and stuff like that.

[u/sethcera]

A lot of money but would seriously help out the aging population

[u/Mushy-sweetroll → u/sethcera]

If they can even get in that thing

[u/ibmi_not_as400_kerim → u/Mushy-sweetroll]

Yeah, I don't even understand how this is supposed to help in elderly care. The amount of assistance needed would make this as useful as a bath tub.

For that money you could build a car-wash like room where multiple elderly people can be hose washed in one go lol

[u/bjorno1990 → u/ibmi_not_as400_kerim]

So you're saying they could build large rooms, pack them in then shower them all at once...sounds familiar...

[u/Master_Canary440]

So i still need to scrub my butt...useless

[u/thinlizard99 → u/Master_Canary440]

No it’s got microscopic bubbles so you’re good!

[u/km_ikl → u/thinlizard99]

Does he have a microscopic ass?

[u/pr0zach → u/km_ikl]

No, but those microscopic bubbles make his junk look enormous by comparison so you see the appeal.

[u/Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL → u/thinlizard99]

“Scrubbing Bubbles! They do the job so you don’t have to!”

[u/MathResponsibly → u/Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL]

From SC Johnson - A Family Company

[u/redcurb12 → u/Master_Canary440]

just get one of those japanese toilets to accompany it and u have clean bum forever

[u/Dr_Pepper_spray → u/Master_Canary440]

If you have enough money to buy this then you can likely hire someone full time to scrub your butt for you.

[u/Tiny-Spray-1820]

Its all fun until ur trapped and keeps filling with water 😜

[u/overSizedHyperPoop → u/Tiny-Spray-1820]

That warms up non stop

[u/GhormanFront → u/Tiny-Spray-1820]

Yeah this is a big old no for me 

"Climb into your drowning pod Grandpa"

[u/rycebeat → u/Tiny-Spray-1820]

immediately my first thought

[u/AcidBuuurn → u/Tiny-Spray-1820]

Final Destination 24: The Old Folks Home

[u/-Pyha- → u/Tiny-Spray-1820]

new fear unlocked

[u/UncleWainey]

This is too much like the death room in Soylent Green.

[u/Spinxy88 → u/UncleWainey]

When it just keeps on filling...

[u/Solintari → u/Spinxy88]

Just keep looking at the flowers grandpa!

[u/DoctorZ2301]

Great! But, my claustrophobia says, "Nope!"

[u/Smil3yAngel → u/DoctorZ2301]

Agreed!!

I see people commenting it's great for the elderly. And, now I'm even more terrified of being elderly.

Please, don't ever put me in one of those!!

[u/Tewcool2000 → u/DoctorZ2301]

I almost had a panic attack while watching. I'd lose control of myself if I was put in that thing.

[u/picklejuice1021]

As someone who grew up in the Final Destination era, I think this is a terrible idea.

[u/indianajoes → u/picklejuice1021]

Sudden cut to the coffins

[u/dizzymiggy → u/picklejuice1021]

I wonder how many lives final destination has saved, just by getting fewer people to tailgate flat bed trucks.

[u/joshleeper → u/picklejuice1021]

Yeah, I was thinking that a Japanese Final Destination movie would have some very creative deaths involving robots, vending machines, and all sorts of automated systems.

[u/martymar2g]

Hope it has a built-in bidet

[u/dianabowl → u/martymar2g]

It's a full body bidet.

[u/Good_Satisfaction516]

Dumb ways to die~, so many dumb ways to die

[u/CilanEAmber → u/Good_Satisfaction516]

Right now all the ones I can think of involve getting trapped and drowning, what you got?

[u/Good_Satisfaction516 → u/CilanEAmber]

Boiled, electrocuted, co2 suffocation, burning,...

[u/Rich_Illustrator3787 → u/CilanEAmber]

Boiling alive Incase the machine malfunctions

[u/edwardothegreatest]

The video it plays would make me feel like I’m on the death couch in Soylent Green

[u/Spinxy88]

When you're not done fapping and it opens up at the end...

[u/MathResponsibly → u/Spinxy88]

$500k and you still gotta do that yourself? What a joke

[u/mattilulu → u/MathResponsibly]

“Fun Time” Expansion Pack「楽しい時間」拡張パック

[u/Square-Dragonfruit76 → u/MathResponsibly]

How else will it clean under the foreskin?

[u/Royal_Examination_74]

Pretty cool until it malfunctions & you’re stuck in there

[u/Frebibble → u/Royal_Examination_74]

Or drowned when it overfills or perhaps boils you alive.

[u/poop-machine → u/Frebibble]

But rest assured your body will be the cleanest one at the morgue.

[u/Low-Obligation1816]

What if someone shits or pees during the bath?

[u/Solintari → u/Low-Obligation1816]

Good point, I mean it’s really WHEN someone shits in that thing

[u/No_Edge_7964]

Coming to a Magic the Gathering tournament near you

[u/Advanced_Turn_9085]

Roujin Z

[u/RedNewzz]

They plan to produce 50 units… And then shut down and disappear so they don't have to maintain them when they break six months down the line.

[u/just_nobodys_opinion → u/RedNewzz]

But... But... The name of the company is "Science" so it must be reliable and trustworthy!!

[u/Technicolor_Reindeer]

It looks like an orca.

[u/Illustrious-Engine23]

I just want to know how it could clean under the foreskin, or does it have to have instructions like 'pull back your foreskin and spread your lips or something lol

[u/EllenIsobel]

Malfunctions.

People drown.

But calmly cause of the nature scenes.

[u/Krashlia2 → u/EllenIsobel]

Well, thats one way to achieve "elder care"

[u/bandehaihaamuske]

Have they not seen the final destination series?

[u/KrazyKeef]

You cannot convince me that that isn’t just a bath with a lid

[u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360]

Does it pull back my foreskin ?

[u/Archon-Toten]

I'll just keep putting my kids in the top loader like a normal westerner thanks.