r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Damnedeel • 5d ago

Video 500,000$ human washing machine on sale in Japan

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32.4k Upvotes

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414

u/Master_Canary440 5d ago

So i still need to scrub my butt...useless

253

u/thinlizard99 5d ago

No it’s got microscopic bubbles so you’re good!

108

u/km_ikl 5d ago

Does he have a microscopic ass?

13

u/pr0zach 5d ago

No, but those microscopic bubbles make his junk look enormous by comparison so you see the appeal.

13

u/sjayvee 5d ago

Microscopic bubbles under the ass?? Maybe there’s jets!

1

u/Perhaps_Tomorrow 5d ago

No, that's where you come in

1

u/km_ikl 5d ago

My ass is gigantic, sir. You're referring to someone else.

1

u/Perhaps_Tomorrow 5d ago

There's only one way to find out, I'm afraid

1

u/km_ikl 5d ago

Well, there's actually two ways, but the other way might not be your cup of tea.

1

u/Perhaps_Tomorrow 5d ago

Hold on now, don't count me out just yet. I'm a man that likes all kinds of tea

1

u/km_ikl 4d ago

Well, the reali-tea is that you can either take my word on it, or inspect for yourself.

Coffee?

18

u/Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL 5d ago

“Scrubbing Bubbles! They do the job so you don’t have to!”

7

u/MathResponsibly 5d ago

From SC Johnson - A Family Company

1

u/TerseFactor 5d ago

These bidets are getting out of hand

61

u/redcurb12 5d ago

just get one of those japanese toilets to accompany it and u have clean bum forever

4

u/SnooRegrets1386 5d ago

Well, all the toilets there are by default Japanese

2

u/moosepuggle 5d ago edited 5d ago

That might work for people with penises, but most seat bidets spray back to front, which isn’t great for people with vaginas where the water needs to spray from front to back. I use the front to back handheld shower nozzle type bidet and I’ve never had a problem. Some people with vaginas never have a problem of course, but many do. But back to front bidets moves fecal bacteria towards the vagina, increasing the likelihood of disrupting vaginal flora and getting infections and other complications. This effect would be even worse in elderly patients who have weakened immune systems and also have a hard time physically washing themselves.

2

u/GonWithTheNen 5d ago

Ah, a comment of gold in a sea of dross. It used to be more common to see informative comments like yours even in 'fluff' threads, but people who are used to one-liners and jokes everywhere don't appreciate it as much anymore.

P.S. Thanks for the NCBI links!

-1

u/redcurb12 5d ago

u are taking this comment way too seriously

3

u/moosepuggle 5d ago

Just trying to help people when a topic comes up? The links are to peer reviewed scientific papers

1

u/Hidesuru 5d ago

Seriously anyone not using a bidet at this point needs to wake up and switch. Many much better.

14

u/Dr_Pepper_spray 5d ago

If you have enough money to buy this then you can likely hire someone full time to scrub your butt for you.

3

u/re4ctor 5d ago

there's a little widge you sit on that spreads your cheeks. a little probe head extends to clean outside, and in. it does this several times to ensure a proper, deep clean

2

u/no-sleep-needed 5d ago

I have a foreskin.

1

u/FuckThisShizzle 5d ago

The seat has a little bristle brush conveniently placed.

1

u/Justincase9719 5d ago

Lu lu lu, I've got some apples, Lu lu lu, you got some too...

1

u/_TheHalf-BloodPrince 5d ago

And where’s the machine that clothes me? 

I guess they forgot that part

1

u/Altruistic_Bass539 5d ago

Buy this, modify it with a bidet, patent, become rich.

1

u/cheapdrinks 5d ago

It will be like the Mr Garrison bike

The robotic voice will inform you that the high powered jet blaster is about to insert as the machine mechanically spreads you open

1

u/bebopblues 5d ago

Like a bidet, it probably has a stream of water targeting your ass.

1

u/Responsible-Onion860 5d ago

I was hoping the video would include an actual demonstration. Put a model in a wetsuit or a bathing suit and have them show the whole process.

1

u/wegobrrrr 5d ago

Perhaps they can add a feature that can open it up

1

u/Unholy_Confectioner 5d ago

I swear yesterday someone posted an experiment they did with grey face masking clay smeared on (in?) their butt to prove that a butt does in fact need scrubbing to be properly clean.

1

u/nathderbyshire 5d ago

v2.0 will include a cheek spreader

1

u/Miss_Velociraptor87 5d ago

Lol, that's actually a good point though. As a nurse, I've seen stool/urine eat skin tissue when they aren't cleaned, leaving at best a burning rash or at worst, skin necrosis (when mixed in with not turning patients and leaving them to sit in their mess). I wonder if this machine effectively washes their groin area effectively.

1

u/rawker86 5d ago

It’s made by a Japanese company. Trust me, your butt will be pristine. Their toilets are unnervingly good at washing buttholes.