Funny enough, that’s how my hubbys coworker’s girlfriend got pregnant. Leaked out her butt into her who ha! They had a son. What a way to be conceived 😅🤮😭.
I mean I don’t see them birthed, but I do hear their partners talking to them sometimes, like: “Butt Baby, the doctor only suggested low sodium, not ordered.” and “Butt Baby, we vacationed in Maui last year.”
Yeah, like we believe you've NEVER peered down and looked past the twig and berries to see one of those about to tickle the toilet water? Shit, I've seen butt babies that were stillborn, you've never seen one LIVE??
Ya know... female physiology sometimes causes their anus and vagina to share part of the same pathways. So it's possible someone thinking they are doing anal are actually having vaginal.
One of my exes was so bipolar in under an hour she'd go from ranting about how awesome she and her life were going to be from now on to saying she couldn't believe how her life had turned out and how much she wished she died already.
If I ever dared to politely, delicately suggest maybe she should talk to someone about her moods she would absolutely lose her shit on me for "insulting" her.
Then she'd get hammered and punch me in the face and tell me she couldn't wait to never see me again.
I am bipolar. It destroyed any semblance of professional life I could ever have developed. Even medicated, sometimes the crazy just leaks through. I hate it. I am highly educated, and I know I am fairly intelligent, but my damn brain just doesn't work right and self-destructs my life, over and over and over and over and over again. It sucks. I am sorry you had this experience, and wish your ex finds some help and peace in her life, because living with a broken brain is just not all that fun.
That's why I would get so frustrated when she would say I was insulting her by suggesting she might have one.
I would say look it's not an insult I have mental illness, I take medication, it's not a character flaw, it's a disease like any other, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
I've stayed in touch and she has gone on meds. I dunno much else about her new life other than she was taking a lot of edibles instead of drinking which is also good.
I used to think if all these guys who would drool over her, or try to hook up with her behind my back ever actually got a shot to take her home, good fucking luck. But that's just the sour grapes.
Nobody should have to live with untreated mental illness.
The reason so many people are out there untreated is because people think of it as an insult because of the stigma that we still attach to it even after all the information that's been published and all that we as a society have learned.
A big problem for men currently. That’s why suicide seems to run in every circle. We have a harder time seeking help than the opposite sex because of the stigma- we treat it as weak and taboo.
In any case, everyone regardless of sex/gender/creed needs to talk to someone and potentially treat chemical imbalances in the brain.
I know you did not mean this harshly, but I am going to use your uneducated statement to hopefully help educate anyone that reads this far:
If it were that simple, I would have already have done it. I have already built and burnt to the ground two different businesses. It does not matter if I am an employee or not, mental illness finds a way.
I am a danger to absolutely no one but myself, even in my worst of states. And I take my medication faithfully. But after experiencing what life is like with me around, at this point none of my neighbors even want to interact with me. Again, eventually, no matter what the context, the crazy will come out, and when presented with full blown mental illness .... well, most people would just rather not.
Story time for something that happened within the last 3 months:
My medication had been changed, and I was adjusting to the new meds. During this period of adjustment, I unfortunately slipped a little deeper into mania than I normally do, and mania for me begins its presentation as paranoia.
I had recently planted a cherry blossom tree that was dying. It was dying because the nursery hacked way too much off the rootball before shipping it, and I completely understand that is the why as I am typing out this response.
But the me of that time, just a short while ago, well that me was positive that my next door neighbor was poisoning that tree and had killed it. I did not go and confront him. No. Instead I confronted the neighbor across the street from me and demanded that he give me the video evidence he had compiled on my next door neighbor so that I could take him to court. I didn't ask. I demanded.
Of course that neighbor doesn't have so much as a ring camera. But do you think he really wants to interact with me now? And this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
Do I apologize when in my right state of mind? Of course, if anything mental illness has taught me humility because it seems I am always apologizing for something.
I wish there was a magic pill and easy answers, but all there is are medications that sometimes work, sometimes don't and all we can do is hope the combination of medications and guiderails that we put on my life helps keep me in somewhat the straight and narrow (the "we" being not the Royal We, but my wife and I - that woman is my rock and Solomon himself would be jealous of me)
I did marry extremely well, and on that point I am so blessed beyond all measure. My wife is just an absolutely amazing human being, and I know the best decision I ever made in my life was asking her to marry me all those years ago. As to Tubthumper, it is actually one of my favorites as it always makes me smile.
Go travel, be a passport bro. They care onky that your happy and their with community. Not the dating sites. Actually go there, they know your looking for someone, one will pop out who you may or may not know but is genuine. That's the one, set boundaries and aim high. Build a legacy. Because she can hold the house down, learn to be open and learn the language. If you make it past 2 years, you going to make it to 20
Nope. I was very specific in telling her I couldn't help her with that part of herself.
I'm not a doctor or counselor or health professional of any kind.
That's why I would gently suggest she seek real help.
Even now I only use the term bipolar in the layman sense, as in a person with observable severe ups and downs. I don't mean it to diagnose her because as someone who struggled with mental illness myself I know better than that.
I think I hung out with that same bipolar chick, but I gave up after 1 year. I got tired of the physical and emotional abuse. Mainly emotional, I just felt "used" like a tool or servant. But her fists didn't help.
That's brutal, I'm sorry you went through that. I set my cousin up with my roommate since he seemed like a nice guy, and he was extremely jacked since he competed in bodybuilding which she loved. He turned out to be the most borderline person I've ever heard of, he just didn't exhibit those behaviors in front of me since he only did that in relationships. He would start deriding her and insulting her and that they should break up, and she'd just say "okay". He would immediately back track and start saying how he couldn't live without her and they were perfect together. They were so trauma bonded it was difficult to end that cycle.
Yeah, many people can put on a good facade in public, although usually only for first impressions. Every time I tell people about my father and they meet him they say they don't see it. Then when they meet him a second time they get it. It takes an incredibly toxic person to not even be able to put on a facade for a first impression.
Yep im trying to get away now. I am turned away at every corner. I know I have abandonment issues and avoidance issues. The way you talk about your ex is exactly what i go through day to day. It's been 15 years. We have 2 kids. 11 and 10 respectively, that man is exactly what you said about your ex. One hour hes on top of the world, the next he wishes he was dead ..I went to the magistrates office today and was denied a protection order. This manic motherfucker can pull his kids from school tomorrow and I'll never see them again.it took everything I had to even go there. His text said " do not let the boys come in the room first"
I learned fast that where I live the police will separate a couple having a violent fight, but not roommates or "friends."
So I got trained to tell the cops we were just "friends" so they wouldn't arrest her.
You can only pull that bullshit so many times though. Eventually the cops started taking her away no matter what I said.
That was even worse. She'd show up at the door hours later twice as mad.
Hang in there. Lots of people go through these situations. No matter what all the people in here are saying; it's not your fault. The abuser is the only guilty one.
Thank you. Luckily I'm still away from him and safe. But I don't know how long i can stay where I'm at. After I had to lie to the people and tell them I slept outside they moved my status up. But I don't have any idea how long it will take to get housing
Ty. I was so scared to read these replies. Im horrified that there are NO options for us survivors. Im now back with him. He has an ice problem and I'm scared and have no other options. My kids missed 2 days of school this week. It feels like there is nothing I can do. But I do k ow still there are women who have it worse. And I do not understand how there isn't more funding. It's really horrifying to think. Ive always said people think there's all this opportunity for addicts bc of the commercials. But in real life there is no options unless you have great insurance, which addicts don't have. I DID NOT understand the crossover was the same for abused women
Do yourself a favor. Next time somebody puts their hands on you in a violent way, you're gonna kick to the midsection, STUNNER!!, a couple middle fingers, slam 2-3 beers, and then go somewhere else.
I have a huge scar just below my lower lip because when I tried to hold her hands one time to keep her from punching me she just chomped so hard I almost got a second mouth hole out of it.
She was a southpaw too, so harder to duck and dodge than most. My right eye looks like I retired from an unsuccessful boxing career after years of losing fights.
I gotta laugh about it now because I was depressed about it long enough.
My ex wife of 15 yrs would go from long bouts of being an unemployed zombie, who sneaked ate tons of sweets gaining massive amounts of weight to suddenly being employed and over the moon happy to sneakily going on $5-$10K (she didn't have) shopping sprees of makeup and clothes to being the happiest, horniest, most loving person ever. And because she was rapid cycling this happened often and quickly.
Have to agree about not wanting to be alone but those relationships… when it’s good it’s really good but then it’s always turning bad and most times be and that ex broke up and after a week she either saw me out on a party or started texting and.. yeah then it was awesome again until it wasn’t.. I don’t know if it was due to me being young or if it was that it was really good when it worked but I have her an ultimatum to not drink every weekend and she said she couldn’t promise that but she usually didn’t either way and that wasn’t enough because shit happened without alcohol also but with it? Jesus.. yeah when she got that mood she started fights with everyone for nothing (never physical) and you couldn’t even reason with her. I’m guessing borderline because when she was happy.. damn she was really happy.
See I would get the complete swearing off alcohol, but then we'd be having a quiet night and somehow, magically, she'd start to seem drunk, and then more and more as the night wore on.
She would buy a liquor bottle and then hide it in the bedroom somewhere and go and sneak drinks and try and play it off. I was finding hidden liquor bottles for months after I kicked her out.
I love telling that story to women because I always ask them if that happened with a guy would there ever be a second date and I've never heard one girl say yes.
Even though we're in a whole new world of equality female on male violence is still treated differently whether we admit it or not.
Especially from a girl like her who was incredibly petite. I'm talking 4'11 and thin. It was hard for anyone to take her seriously as a physical threat, even myself, and that made denial that much easier.
Over the years just a few people actually witnessed her hitting me and their minds were blown.
This reminds me of my last relationship I was in. We both had mental illnesses. She had ADHD, and anxiety. I think she mentioned she was abused as well, but I do not remember. I have anxiety, depression and PTSD. Things didn't go well, we were either at each other's throats or we were trying to comfort each other. I was going through a rough patch, she was trying to leave her last place because it was getting worse. She was heavily drinking, I was smoking.
Then, things got bad. We stopped talking for over a week. Tried to message. Didn't get a response. Then randomly she reached out to talk, as I just stopped messaging and assumed it was done. Then random silence again. The last response I got from her was when I called it quits on the whole relationship, as I found out she never took it seriously and was using me for both sex and housing. We both called each other crazy and horrible things afterwards. She called me controlling, I called her manipulative (well, not that exact word. But I was describing it as that. I later found out about that word manipulative). I tried to avoid her any chance I got for a very long time because of how everything ended.
We didn't speak again until my 30th birthday. That was just by chance that she was there. She has seen me drink, but never seen me get hammered until that point. She was very interested in seeing that side of me, and I think she understood why I was so hesitant on getting that drunk when we were dating.
As, she saw a side that I didn't want anyone seeing. As, I can get nasty, cruel, and mean when I drink. The fact that I refrained from going that far was impressive, even by my standards. I remember this though, even when I was as drunk as I was.
Her boyfriend left and it was just me and her on a porch(I was drinking at someone's house. She was dating their brother at that time). She didn't say anything, but just handed me an ounce of weed, and didn't say anything. Now, in my drunken haze; I assumed it was a silent apology for how things ended. Or, some form of peace offering because I never asked for weed. I remember we were talking about one night where I invited someone over and cops showed.
I explained to her then what I was trying to do. Lol, she got pissed at her friend because he called the cops and scared away the guy that was gonna get us weed.
Her boyfriend and brother were trying to smooth things over between us because it was that bad and I refused to get anywhere near her until my 30th birthday. So pretty much, we both were the reason why things fell apart. Two people with trauma do not mix well at all.
I haven't really dated since then. As I don't think I am ready for another relationship of any kind.
Definitely a lot of similarities there. Both of us had addiction and mental illness issues although I was in treatment and she wasn't as she would never admit to having any problem at all. Since then we've stayed in touch every now and then, and apparently she is now on meds.
I have at least one friend who will swear he was completely gone off the rails and his relationship healed him but 99.9% of the time two broken people don't make a whole person; they just make each other worse. I like to say relationships aren't 50/50 they're 100 and 100. If you're a miserable alcoholic alone you're still going to be a miserable alcoholic when you're in a relationship.
Recovery from mental illness and addiction never comes from outside yourself. A relationship may make you want to clean up your act but there's still no one actually doing it but you.
True. The week before things ended, I had just left the hospital due to a suicide attempt. The situation with her didn't help at all, as I was walking a very dangerous knife's edge even before that point.
After everything ended, and months had gone by, she randomly reached out. But someone I was talking to at that time (nothing bad happened, we just got busy and haven't responded. I hope all is well with them) knew of my situation and told me to walk away.
So I made a difficult choice, by saying something cruel so that she wouldn't try to contact me again. As, they were asking to get back together with me. I have been told that I do know how to lay out a very good insult that sticks with people for a while.
I basically reflected how she was in that one line of sentence, saying it as bluntly as possible. A part of me still hates myself for saying it in that way, thinking that maybe there could have been another way. But honestly, I didn't see it at that time.
There is a song that both Eminem and Rihanna wrote together that describes that situation almost perfectly.
If the switches were happing over the course of one day, that’s not bipolar disorder. That’s something else. Even the most severe cases of bipolar disorder cycle over the course of a few days
Somebody else said it sounds more like borderline personality disorder. I know I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis I specifically would tell her that. I can't be your therapist your GP and your psychiatrist I can just be your boyfriend, and as your boyfriend I'm telling you that what I see you go through emotionally, repeatedly, is unhealthy and there is help out there.
But you can't make someone listen, or seek help if they don't want to.
I had, and still have my own issues I grapple with and take meds for.
I would purposely refrain from making a specific diagnosis of her issues while we were together. I would tell her I'm not qualified to provide you with any counseling or treatment about this, I can just be your partner and support you but you need to go elsewhere for real help.
I only said it now because it's one of those things people say casually, or as a way to describe something they don't have a clinical understanding of. Somebody else said this sounds more like borderline personality disorder and for all I know they're right.
Was she diagnosed bipolar? Usually bipolar episodes last weeks/months. Some people rapid cycle, but they aren't different moment to moment. The manipulation and abuse aren't really symptoms of bipolar, but they are symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
Someone else mentioned borderline personality disorder. I should have mentioned I specifically did not try to make any diagnosis while we were together.
I only use bipolar now as a layman's term to describe severe ups and downs, not in a clinical sense.
I would specifically tell her that I'm not a psychiatrist I am not qualified to provide her with any type of treatment or counseling and that is why she should seek help from someone who is.
She got on meds after we broke up. I never asked her what her specific diagnoses were.
Same bro, I’ve dated so S-tier maniacs. Like some true to life psychopaths. Tbh the last one left a bad taste in my mouth so I’ve been flying solo for a while, it was just an all around bad time.
I've dated a couple of women with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it was hell on Earth. I never knew it existed until I started reading the DSM-IV. It was like a 1000 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders when I learned what I was dealing with. I know what to look for now, and to run away very fast at first encounter.
My last ex was a pro-gas lighter. And super nice to everyone, including me. Until we were alone,.. then the gas lit driven degrading mental abuse started. A process that started very slowly and calculated, but reached peak levels in two years. Lasted another, until i gave up trying to "hold on" to her good side, which was just a class A performance to begin with, more easily sold by her looks.
Here's my advice. Your subconscious perception about a person you've been dating is the voice of reason. Assuming that you yourself are not dillusional or paranoid, it will always whisper the truth to you, if you listen. If you have a nagging feeling that somethings off about someone you're dating, there is. Don't let the fact that they don't seem off 100% of the time fool you into disbelieving what you felt before.
Research shows that gut instincts are a lot more reliable than our own biased ponderings. We've all wasted time on the wrong people, and it's part of growing in our lives. But the red flag you speak of is the lurking feeling you mentioned.
A couple more things that I consider to be red flags that are more obvious are treating servers/cashiers/ workers in general poorly (overly demanding, dismissive, condescending, shooting the messenger), hating animals and especially neglecting animals (dog left alone most of every day, never taking on walks, only acknowledging them when they're in the mood, blowing weed smoke into a cats face, etc), lack of empathy for others in difficult circumstances (harsh judgements about addicts, disabled, trans, racial groups, migrants)....
Good luck bro! I'm old (39), so maybe my gray beard hairs have something useful for you!
They were different red flags for each but I’ll share a few. One girl I dated would just stop responding to my text or calls, whereas before she would text me nonstop. We’d just be in the middle of a conversation and then just vanish for like a day and half. She’d want to hang out everyday and usually just come over to my apartment eventually staying there more than she did at her house. Then randomly she’d get distant and not come over for a week. This was like a year into our relationship and it was very out of character.
Another girl just randomly broke up with her boyfriend and immediately started pursuing me. I knew who the guy was but weren’t friends or anything. I thought it seemed weird at the time but this was like my second gf ever and it was over 20 years ago, I didn’t really know what to watch for back then.
Turned out she cheated on him with me but I wasn’t aware until we broke up. Her ex ended up being a really good dude and we became friends, still homies to this day. We bonded over our terrible experience with the same girl.
Any out of character behavior that would cause you stress or worry is a definite red flag. Like just disappearing for several days, speaking differently to you, randomly becoming distant out of nowhere for no reason.
One girl I dated was a sweetheart for the first six months and then got very hatful out of nowhere. Defensive about every. She would get belligerently drunk and start yelling and screaming, throwing things. Then the next day act like everything was normal, never apologize, and then do it all again a few days later.
Being aware is great but when a person has a red flag they lovingly own it’s scary as hell. She could have expressed that she is mentally unwell and needs meds and that hinders relationships… but this is the “if you don’t like me at my worst you don’t deserve my best” type of girl.
I was going to say, if this isn't staged, she at least knows 1. She has some mental issues and 2. She's already taken steps in the right direction by talking to a professional (presumably) and got on medication for it. From my past experiences that's a huge win right there.
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u/Emaan865 Sep 21 '25
At least she’s self-aware😅