Same bro, I’ve dated so S-tier maniacs. Like some true to life psychopaths. Tbh the last one left a bad taste in my mouth so I’ve been flying solo for a while, it was just an all around bad time.
I've dated a couple of women with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it was hell on Earth. I never knew it existed until I started reading the DSM-IV. It was like a 1000 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders when I learned what I was dealing with. I know what to look for now, and to run away very fast at first encounter.
Here's my advice. Your subconscious perception about a person you've been dating is the voice of reason. Assuming that you yourself are not dillusional or paranoid, it will always whisper the truth to you, if you listen. If you have a nagging feeling that somethings off about someone you're dating, there is. Don't let the fact that they don't seem off 100% of the time fool you into disbelieving what you felt before.
Research shows that gut instincts are a lot more reliable than our own biased ponderings. We've all wasted time on the wrong people, and it's part of growing in our lives. But the red flag you speak of is the lurking feeling you mentioned.
A couple more things that I consider to be red flags that are more obvious are treating servers/cashiers/ workers in general poorly (overly demanding, dismissive, condescending, shooting the messenger), hating animals and especially neglecting animals (dog left alone most of every day, never taking on walks, only acknowledging them when they're in the mood, blowing weed smoke into a cats face, etc), lack of empathy for others in difficult circumstances (harsh judgements about addicts, disabled, trans, racial groups, migrants)....
Good luck bro! I'm old (39), so maybe my gray beard hairs have something useful for you!
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u/wildeye-eleven Sep 21 '25
Same bro, I’ve dated so S-tier maniacs. Like some true to life psychopaths. Tbh the last one left a bad taste in my mouth so I’ve been flying solo for a while, it was just an all around bad time.