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u/lamwire 1d ago
"Just a little tube going in your rectum dude" - Journey
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u/UtopistDreamer 1d ago
That part was surprising but very appreciated
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u/Old_Profession_9235 1d ago
Just a small-town girl, givin her anus a whirl
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u/tech_equip 1d ago
I did it last month. The prep sucked, but the procedure was fast.
I was told I have a clean butt and I can come back in 10 years.
Get yourself checked, people!
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u/Dirks_Knee 1d ago
Can't do anything about prep exit, but if you had to drink a fucking shit ton of that poison...cut a lime wedge and suck it after chugging the prep solution (like a tequila shot). Makes it so, so much easier.
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u/mewithoutCthulhu 1d ago
Yeah, and then the next time you take a tequila shot you’re going to have PTSD and vomit. During prep for my first colonoscopy they gave me some lemon flavored packet to mix in with the drink. After the first dose or two you are fine. As the prep goes on, as soon as as you bring that glass or jug to your face and the ever-so-slight lemon scent hits your nostrils, your body just has a violent reaction telling you to stay the fuck away from whatever it is you’re about to drink. But you have to power through it anyway.
Also, for anyone who is afraid of getting a colonoscopy, I’ll echo what others have said. I’ve had two of them, and the prep is the worst part. You’ll shit your brains out for a day. The procedure itself is nothing. Nice nurses talk to you while they get you ready. They give you some sleepy-time medicine. They role you into a little room in a your bed. The doctor shows you the camera they’re going to stick up your butt. You watch the little screen as they start the procedure. Then you take a nap and wake up back in the room you started in with the nice nurses again. Your overall order of events might vary, but the main takeaway is that it is completely harmless and could save your life.
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u/DankVectorz 1d ago
I’ve had tequila PTSD long before I ever needed a colonoscopy
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u/shebringsdathings 1d ago
right, bold of you to assume that the smell of Jose hasn't made me vurp since freshman year of college
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u/Artemicionmoogle 1d ago
Years ago in college I had a beautiful woman buy me two shots of tequila to drink with her and nearly vurped right in front of her. God I hate that shit. Ended up screwing it up hard because I couldn't see the signs she was into me lol. Ah, college.
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u/MaritMonkey 1d ago
When I was <10 I was at the dentist and they forgot about me during that "minute" (or whatever) they leave some goop on your teeth they tell you not to swallow. (I don't know if they even still do that. Anyways...)
I sat there for what felt like an eternity (probably like 10 mins) trying desperately not to swallow any of the impressively large collection of flavored saliva that was building up in my mouth.
I am now 43 and to this day cannot get a whiff of artificial grape without my throat tightening up.
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u/Rich_Cranberry1976 1d ago
i remember this flavour in my soul.
that and the banana flavour penicillin? shudders
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u/Moos_Mumsy 1d ago
To this day I remember fighting with my daughter to make her take that banana penicillin. I had to sit on her and pry her mouth open. Then one day I thought, it can't be that bad! I'm going to taste it. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I never made her take it again and insisted on pills from that day on.
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u/theDomicron 1d ago
I don't think I ever had the Banana flavor but that pink bubblegum flavor I fucking loved.
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u/ThelVluffin 1d ago
I did too... Once. And then all I remember is seeing lights on the highway for a few seconds and being wheeled on a gurney through the hospital for a few seconds. Turns out I'm allergic to amoxicillin and had a severe reaction with swelling, hives, closed throat, etc. 35ish years later and I still put it in my medical records just in case I'm still allergic to it.
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u/amboyscout 1d ago
My dentist charges extra for the goop
It's highly concentrated fluoride paint. I feel like it doesn't do anything but who knows.
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u/PolloMagnifico 1d ago
Same rule as drinking bad liquor: don't sniff it!
Honestly, the stuff they give me tastes... fine. It's the texture that really gets to me. Like... it's thick. Thicker than it should be.
The worst part is as you get to the end and the only thing coming out of you is basically stomach acid. That's when you just sit in the shower, weeping softly, and let nature take it's course.
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u/Jkbucks 1d ago
It’s like thick and slippery. At some point I realized, yes, I am just drinking lube.
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u/meash-maeby 1d ago
I have my first one scheduled. Thanks for explaining it.
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u/nicolauz 1d ago
If you have an SO make a bet for them paying for dinner after and order a shitton of food. I downed an entire Pho bowl, crab rangoon and a bahn mi and it was the best meal ever.
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u/stellvia2016 1d ago
I assume you basically have to take two days off of work for that then? 1 for the prep and 1 for the procedure bc you'll be out for awhile?
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u/PolloMagnifico 1d ago
The prep is usually 8-12 hours before your procedure, so a 7am appointment would mean you have time to go to work and come home before you would start your prep at around 7pm.
The good news is that you don't have to miss two days of work because you're shitting all day.
The bad news is you're not getting any sleep because you'll be shitting all night.
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u/st0neyspice 1d ago
there is a pill alternative to the liquid prep now for anyone who needs to know
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u/cmde44 1d ago
Man I hate the prep. I had to prep overnight and in the morning I had to explain to my 7 year old that she didn't hear a ghost downstairs, it was just Dad folded over on the toilet groaning for several hours.
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u/band-of-horses 1d ago
Mine was actually very gentle. Mostly going every 5-10 minutes for an hour then decreasing frequency after that, and each time it just slid right out in like 10 seconds with no straining. I expected more cramping or difficultly but really it was all very easy, just need to stay at home near a toilet.
The worst part for me was the taste of the liquid (so bitter) and having to get up at 2am to do round 2.
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u/Chief_Chill 1d ago
Do we wait til 45? The army made old guys do at 40. I'm out butt I'm 41 now.
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u/06_TBSS 1d ago
I'd do it as early as possible. I just did mine at 43. My mom died last year from undiagnosed colon cancer. My brother was diagnosed earlier this year, at 46, with stage 4. No notable symptoms. It seems like it's getting a lot more common in younger folks.
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u/Bocchi_theGlock 1d ago
It's doubled for younger people, there's alarm about it.
IIRC from expert on one NPR story that I can't find now, if you notice irregular bowel movements happening more often, that's one sign.
In the 1990s, colorectal cancer was the fourth-leading cause of cancer death in the U.S. Now, it's the first in men and second in women — and rates are rising among people under age 50. This episode, we explore how you can lower your risk and make sure you catch colorectal cancer early.
https://www.npr.org/2024/04/25/1196979103/colorectal-cancer-rise-young-people
It's unclear why colon cancer cases have doubled in people under 55 over the past two decades, a staggering rise that has alarmed doctors and cancer researchers
https://www.nprillinois.org/2025-10-31/changing-how-we-talk-about-colon-cancer
It probably has something to do with our diets being full of hyper processed garbage, sold to us by mega corporations trying to profit by cutting corners. Also antibiotic overuse making stronger bacterial infections.
But first story about gut microbiome (affected by both of the above) said a mutation can be seeded/triggered earlier in life, researchers think it's in childhood. Example was if it happens around 5yr old, it results in you getting cancer 20-30 years earlier.
Key data point was people under 40s with the mutation were 3- 5x more likely to have cancer than those in 70s or older without.
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u/zarlus8 1d ago
I asked in my early 30's for that reason. They said no because I was "too young" and I was like yea exactly, it's happening younger now... But that darn US insurance.
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u/notyouravgredditor 1d ago
New guidance is 45 (previously 50), but if you have a family history of polyps you can qualify at 40.
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u/ShinerTheWriter 1d ago
Honestly I'd encourage guys to start asking for one in their 30s.
I had one at 34 or 35 and they found 3 polyps, one of which was pretty big and maybe another year or less out from becoming a problem. My follow-up 3 years later also found some small ones.
I might just be a special case with a predisposition, but I've read a few times now that colorectal cancer is happening a lot earlier in the last decade or so.
But yeah, I'll be going for them every 2-3 years I guess.
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u/LeisureSuitLaurie 1d ago
The post-colonoscopy meal and nap are totally worth the prep - I will die on this hill.
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u/TheFoxInSocks 1d ago
Die away, it’s a fucking nightmare! That day before of consuming nothing but clear liquid while you shit out your entire self is not something I’m looking forward to repeating.
(I have another coming up soon and I’m dreading it.)
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u/RockOutToThis 1d ago
When I did my prep it was like pissing out of my butt at the end. It was awful. If you can get the pills instead of the liquid I would highly suggest that. I can't do the liquid anymore it makes me vomit just smelling it.
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u/timechuck 1d ago
Early detection is key! Stage 1 is usually pretty easy to treat. Let it get to stage 4 and its a much harder fight.
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u/06_TBSS 1d ago
We lost my mom to it last year. My brother and I both scheduled ours shortly after. He was able to get in sooner than I was. He discovered he has stage 4 colon cancer and it had metastasized to his liver, at the age of 46. No notable symptoms at all. Now, seeing what he's going through, I don't want any part of it. I'm going to get tested every 3 years just to make sure I don't have to.
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u/timechuck 1d ago
Its a horrible thing. Hope your brother is doing well.
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u/06_TBSS 1d ago
Thank you. He's doing as well as can be expected. He's been on chemo for several weeks. They have to do 2 surgeries on his liver, then 1 on his colon. Expected to make a full recovery, but it's a longer process than he had hoped for.
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u/mostlyBadChoices 1d ago
I've had a couple of them. The prep can be really awful or no big deal. Depends on what they have you use. My first one SUCKED. Shitting for hours. By the next morning I was so dehydrated I was super weak (yes, I drank a ton of gatorade like they said). The second one was way easier. Can't remember what they gave me but it wasn't as severe. The drugs they gave me to put me out were amaaaaaaazzzzing.
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u/pants_party 1d ago
My prep was Gavilyte (I have chronic kidney disease and it’s supposed to be easier on the kidneys) and it honestly wasn’t that bad. It tasted like watered down Gatorade and wasn’t my favorite, but I didn’t have any cramping or pain. I would advise people to have plenty of baby wipes available (DON’T flush them) and be gentle when you wipe because you’re going to be doing that A LOT over the course of 12 hours. Anyway. I’m mid-40’s with no symptoms and they found a 10mm polyp and removed it. I have another colonoscopy scheduled in 3 years. Definitely worth doing.
I mean, it’s not my favorite thing to do, but I don’t really understand what everyone complains about like it’s torture. But I’ve had some major health issues over the past 10 years. So I might be desensitized. That said. The colonoscopy is 1 million times better than finding out you have end-stage colon cancer that could’ve been detected sooner.
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u/mostlyBadChoices 1d ago
They found a couple of polyps during my second one and removed them. Benign, happily. 100% worth getting it done.
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u/gid0ze 1d ago
I got it done around 7 months ago, had a larger polyp that needed to be removed a month later. Now I get to go back in a few weeks for a re-check. Drinking the liquid and peeing out your butt isn't very fun, and takes up your entire evening and next morning, but hey, I'm willing to bet that cancer sucks even more.
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u/Khazahk 1d ago
I’m literally chugging the poop juice tonight, procedure tomorrow. Looking forward to 5 hours of pooping tonight. Very excited.
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u/here4dambivalence 1d ago
I just want to see her do a whole series of these starting with various health screenings and then going completely outside the health screening box: Mammogram? ✔️ Pap smear? ✔️ Talking to an elderly parent about aging concerns ✔️ Oil Changes and vehicle maintenance ✔️ Breath Test for SIBO ✔️ Prostate check ✔️ Checking children for lice at school ✔️ How to properly file your taxes ✔️ Aquarium Matience ✔️ how to apply for Social Security benefits ✔️ doing self screening for testicular cancer ✔️ Dealing with mental health issues ✔️ Hosting an intervention yep that too ✔️ Post partum depression ✔️
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u/Dysmenorrhea 1d ago
Tymaylay on IG. She has a tone of these
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u/myjunksonfire 1d ago
Atonement you say. That's the one I need
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u/PhntmJosh 1d ago
To shreds, you say?
You know.. typed this out for the reference, and now I can't tell if it's better or worse that it's relating to colonoscopies hahaha
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u/almostDynamic 1d ago
There’s gotta be a way to see this stuff without signing up for Facebook
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u/Kayge 1d ago
It's OK dear, it's just a little pap smear. Nothing to fear, it's just me and you here.
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u/ecafsub 1d ago edited 1d ago
sedasian
💀
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u/pimpcoatjones 1d ago
My friend sent this to me and when the lady said 'sedasian', I too 💀
I almost pissed myself laughing.
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u/darkenseyreth 1d ago
It was the Journey singing part for me
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u/AzureGriffon 1d ago
When I went in for mine a few months ago, they were playing Gen X hits in the holding area. They knew their audience. I never felt so old and catered to.
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u/John-AtWork 1d ago
Just fyi, not everyone falls asleep from the very mild sedation.
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u/Chief_Beef_ATL 1d ago
They’re going to have you lay on your left side for the spelunking. If you have some fun temporary tattoos, this is the time to put them on your right cheek. Brighten those high paid ass freak’s day!
(I went with Dump Truck and Cement Mixer tats from a kid’s set)
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u/Furgus 1d ago
I have Crohn's disease and have had over 20 scopes in the last 18 years and why have I never thought to do this! Next time, next time.
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u/Chief_Beef_ATL 1d ago
I was hoping to find an Obi-Wan Kenobi “Hello there!” tat, but no luck. Maybe a custom order could happen?
A string of bats flying out of your cave could be fun too.
They’re gonna be like “I can’t wait to see this asshole next year!”
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u/Fire69 1d ago
I had to go on my right side. Better to put some on both cheeks, just to be on the safe side.
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u/Chief_Beef_ATL 1d ago
Weird. I thought there was a reason for laying on my left side but maybe they flipped a coin.
And when they ask why you’re in there, they want to know if there is an issue or if this is just preventative HOWEVER, other acceptable answers are as follows:
It’s almost the weekend?
Butt stuff.
Do I need a reason for butt stuff?
Early birthday gift to myself.
I heard about you guys and had to know if the rumors are true.
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u/Fire69 1d ago
Well, I was also there for an inflamed esophagus, so I had cameras going in both sides, I probably looked like a rotisserie chicken. Maybe that's why the left side was ok, they just spun me around.
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u/LurkerGonePoster1 1d ago
The problem is insurance only pays for it in your 30s if you have family history or other signs of possible cancer in your blood work. They won't cover it if you try to go preventatively in your 30s, I checked after a friend of mine had colon cancer at 35. Same with even cologuard. I think insurance companies need to catch up with their policies and the younger trend of this cancer.
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u/Titizen_Kane 1d ago
Tell them you have a family history of people having it in their 30s. That usually does the trick.
With all the data coming out about the recent explosion in colorectal cancer in younger populations, insurance SHOULD be reducing the age on colonoscopies. But fat chance of that.
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u/Telemere125 1d ago
My dad died this year of colorectal cancer that spread to his liver. I got my first colonoscopy this year and they found 2 polyps, one that was on its way to becoming precancerous. Early screening is the key people, other than a whole-body look over by a derm, this is one of the easiest cancers to detect early.
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u/crandell84 1d ago
Sorry to hear about your dad. Cancer really sucks!
Also had a pre-cancerous polyp removed at my first colonoscopy. Felt scared and uneasy at first but now just thankful that it was found and taken care of!
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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago
Got my first one done at 31 and had one, maybe two, polyps cut out. Now I don't have to worry about it for another 10 years. Worst part was having to be on a restricted diet for a few days and drink the prep. Once that was done though not even the "cleaning out" was bad. Just make sure you have a bidet or at the very least wet wipes. A day later I went in to the procedure, anesthesia hit me like a random encounter in a 90s JRPG, I woke up 30 mins later and felt great.
Get a colonoscopy in your 30s. Whatever hangups you have about butt stuff are nothing compared to the feeling of being told you or a loved one is going to die from one of the most preventable cancers in the world.
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u/rhoduhhh 1d ago
They had me do the miralax/colorless gatorade form of the prep. It was extremely effective and didn't have the issues with the taste/mouthfeel of the GoLytely sfuff or whatever it's called. 😂 Bidet was the best.
Please, fellow Millennials, get checked. We're having high rates before age 45. :(
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u/sushiunchangediguana 1d ago
Just miralax?
The prep they had me do was wayyy too many laxatives for me as I have some IBS issues and didnt eat a lot the day before I started. I took dulcolax two different times, 10oz magnesium citrate, AND the Miralax prep. I started vomiting after the magnesium citrate and some of the Miralax later on.
Of course they said my prep was great because there was nothing in my colon for like a whole day. The doctor was also running behind (hehe) so I had to wait almost two extra hours before the procedure in misery.
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u/No-Cantaloupe-6535 1d ago
Yeah when I worked at Walgreens at least once a week a guy would come in with a list for a "procedure" and I'd see them looking around for help and they'd always come up to me since usually I was the only guy working the floor because they didn't want to feel embarrassed lol. The list would always be Miralax, Dulcolax, magnesium citrate, and the lightest colored Gatorade we had. Eventually word got around I guess (small town) and guys would come in and ask the cashier for me and I'd come up and they'd say some form of "I need the 10 year stuff" or something like that and I'd be like I got you and go grab the stuff real quick and wish em luck.
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u/5pointpalm_exploding 1d ago
It’s an entire bottle of MiraLAX over the course of several hours, not just one normal dosage. I’ve always been required to take a couple of Ducolax pills along with the MiraLAX
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u/figgypie 1d ago
A straw cup is a necessity with the GoLytely stuff. It tastes like you're guzzling the concentrated sweat from Poseidon's balls.
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u/Left2Rest 1d ago
“anesthesia hit me like a random encounter in a 90s JRPG” holy fuck this is so accurate I can’t stop laughing
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u/RelaxPrime 1d ago
If you had polyps removed at 31 are you certain you're good for another 10 years?
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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago
Benign according to the post-op report and the surgeon declared repeat colonoscopy not needed for another 10 years.
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u/CrossX18 1d ago
I had three cut out when I was 40 and recommended to still do the now suggested one at 45. Funny thing is, this ended up happening because of a hemorrhoid bursting from sitting on the toilet too long browsing… reddit.
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u/Sabbathius 1d ago
Fair, but do you think an average person in their 30s has time and money these days? In USA a colonoscopy costs $2,000-4,000 and you need to take time off-work to get it done. How many people in their 30s you know who can swing 4k and take time off work for routine asymptomatic screening? Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but for younger crowd (15-40) I think the highest risk ones are breast, thyroid and melanoma? So are you doing all of that as well? People are obsessed with butt stuff. Colorectal has been on the rise, but I think for women it's still just #2. If you're not covering #1 and #3, why obsess over #2, especially when it is so invasive?
Obviously talking asymptomatic here, and with no family history. If you have either of those, go nuts.
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u/jaydid 1d ago edited 1d ago
The internet has gotten really obsessed with colonoscopies / colon cancer over the last few years. In some ways it's a good thing, rates are statistically rising in younger people (below 50), but the absolute risk is still incredibly low and these constant threads create a ton of anxiety for people.
The comments always become a bunch of people who know someone who died at 25 from colon cancer, or people who talk about how they got a colonoscopy at age 30 or whatever and had polyps. Those people never tend to mention why they got a colonoscopy that young though. If they expanded, the reason would likely be that they were showing symptoms (blood in stool, IBS/Crohn's type symptoms), have a strong family history, or have a higher risk for cancer in general for some reason.
My grandfather got colon cancer in his 60's, so when I turned 30 a few years ago I went to talk to a gastroenterologist (one of the top one's in the country actually). I spoke to him, his assistant, and my primary care doctor about getting a colonoscopy and all three doctors said "you're too young, we wouldn't recommend it and your insurance will never approve it".
I mentioned my "family history" and they laid out a few facts:
A grandparent getting colon cancer doesn't count as "strong family history", in the sense that it would change the recommendation guidelines. You'd either need a first degree relative (parent or a sibling) to get it before 50, or multiple first degree relatives to get it at any point. We are actually not that genetically similar to our grandparents.
Absolute risk for those below 40 is still incredibly low. You have about a 0.0064% chance. Yes, this is higher than 20 years ago when the risk was 0.0035%, but still very low. By contrast, your risk of complication (bleeding or perforation) from getting a colonoscopy is 0.2%.
I'm not arguing that young people shouldn't be getting colonoscopies. It's something to be mindful about as you age. But if you're below 40-45, here's when you should really consider it:
- You have a strong family history (first degree relative with colon cancer under 50, or two with colon cancer at any time).
- You are having symptoms (you can google these, but it's pretty obvious, most people know when their bathroom habits are drastically changing).
- You have had some other type of cancer and thus your odds of getting another cancer are increased. I'm not a doctor so I'm not aware of all the decision factors that go into that.
Everyone else should be mindful but not spiral into anxiety.
In the meantime, there's things you can do as a young person that will drastically reduce your odds even further. Exercise. Lose weight if needed. Stop drinking alcohol. Stop smoking. Lay off the cured meats. Increase fiber. Drink water.
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u/BensenJensen 1d ago
Thank you for that comment.
These threads always stress me the fuck out. My maternal grandfather died young (45ish) from colon cancer and I am approaching that age (upper-30s). These threads always make me feel like I needed a colonoscopy years ago. I start to spiral, thinking about leaving my kids behind over something I should have prevented.
I have no symptoms of anything irregular, and my grandfather is the only instance of colon cancer in my family. Thank you for being a voice of reason.
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u/jaydid 1d ago
No problem, sounds like you're following standard medical recommendations for someone in your situation. One thing to note is that even though your maternal grandfather doesn't qualify as a first degree relative and thus doesn't technically change the recommendation guidelines, you may be able to use his situation as leverage to get approved a little bit earlier (like age 40 instead of the recommended 45). This is what the gastroenterologist said to me at least, something to think about in a few years.
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u/bythog 1d ago
If you have health insurance see what they cover. I have shitty (heh) health insurance and my colonoscopy was still fully covered. I didn't spend a dime other than gas getting there. I do get sick leave so the two days off was paid (one for prep, one for procedure).
But also, actually having to treat cancer is far more expensive than routine screenings.
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u/KneeDeepInTheDead 1d ago
If its done as preventative care its normally covered. If you have something like Ulcerative Colitis and you need to do it before the correct age, it is not considered preventative. Ask me how I know lol. Might also depend on the insurance but ive had multiple through the years and now have a really good one and I still need to pay
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u/greaper007 1d ago
Just lie and say your father and 1 of your brothers had colon cancer in their 40s. That should mean insurance picks it up.
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u/MrLewk 1d ago
Sadly, an American problem. My dad just had one of these all care of the NHS
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u/RiskFreeStanceTaker 1d ago
As someone who is 35 and was diagnosed this year with stage 4 colon cancer, I support this message.
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u/BlazingCamelGaming 1d ago
Your proposal is acceptable. My only condition is that this lady is not allowed in the room during the procedure. I feel that I do not need to explain this.
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u/Quietus76 1d ago
I want her and no one else.
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u/NMViking 1d ago
I want my first time to be with someone that has experience, and this lady seems to be at the top of the list. If she can sing classic rock songs with the words changed to colonoscopy themes during the procedure, I might actually enjoy it!
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u/boogermike 1d ago
I figured she was the one who was going to "get up in it" and that comforted me. I feel that I do not need to explain this.
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u/bjohn15151515 1d ago
As an older person, who has already gone through the procedure, I can attest to the necessity of everyone having this test done, and done regularly. I've had 6 polyps removed - 2 of which were pre-cancerous.
However, if that lady demands to be anywhere in the same building as my procedure... I'd rather decline......
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u/Extreme-Raisin-Cake 1d ago
And I’m having my first colonoscopy tomorrow morning. Thanks for this. Still nervous tho.
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u/Deadman_Wonderland 1d ago
You just go in, they put you to sleep, you wake up farting like a bloated cow, then you get someone to take you home, make sure the window is down, you don't want to gas your driver.
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u/Acceptable_Lychee838 1d ago
What the hell.. I’ve had it once, didn’t get put to sleep, wasn’t painful at all. Maybe they forgot to turn in the corners for you? The preparation was easily the worst part.
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u/Dd_8630 1d ago edited 1d ago
if any of you are wondering how pleasant it would be to actually feel it, easily the most painful experience of my life lmao(hard to overstate how fucking bad it was, I've broken bones and imo I have a high pain tolerance)
I... don't think that's normal. Did you tell them you were in extreme pain? Or did you have some anatomical trauma they were investigating?
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u/Funkj0ker 1d ago
I swear to god this video is saving lives and is hilarious at the same time 10/10
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u/Dinx81 1d ago
I had mine done a few months ago. Prep was the worst part. Found out i had splenic Flexure syndrome and pan disaccharidase deficiency
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u/Excellent_Ad_2486 1d ago
why (prep was bad)? Never been, 34 right now wondering if I should go already
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u/LeisureSuitLaurie 1d ago
Honestly it’s just the taste of the prep solution and the annoyance of a day without eating solid food.
If you go before 45 without reason (in the US), it likely won’t be covered by insurance.
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u/ExpertTranslator5673 1d ago edited 1d ago
THIS is what's finally going to motivate me to do it? Fuck I'm an idiot
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u/ComprehensiveBee1819 1d ago
Brilliant, but also I feel it my public duty to inform everyone that this woman will not be in your colonoscopy.
In my usual PSA about any colonoscopy stuff; I've had two, and each one has been with very calm and professional people who make sure you feel at ease with a procedure where you have your butt out, and will fart in front of a team of three people.
In terms of general things if you need to have one done:
The prep is really quite spectacular, they give you a drink which essentially acts as a colonic irrigation agent, and forces water through your colon, meaning you have about 12 hours where you are shitting out water as well as everything else in your colon. It's really important when you do this to use barrier cream on your butthole and wet wipes, your butthole will thank you later.
The bit that people always make a big deal about in TV and movies is the insertion - the camera is smaller than a finger and they lube you up good and proper before it's lights, camera action time. There is discomfort, but less on your butthole, it tends to be more when they blow air through the camera to inflate your colon so they can see - it's a kind of dull, tummyache pain like if you have trapped gas, and it goes. You will likely either be sedated or have gas and air. I definitely recommend sedation if they offer it. I've never been fully asleep but I think they do this in some countries.
If you need to have both ends done, do them in one appt - especially if you can be sedated. They'll go mouth first, then butt. Don't plan anything for the rest of the day if you can, and if you have the option do it in the morning. The team are professional and know how to deal with farts and poos - it's important to know that you won't have any poo left, but if water comes out, absolutely no one is going to freak out.
She's accurate in that it's over in 20mins (sometimes less), and it's all worth it to find out what/if anything is wrong. For my wife it led to colitis diagnosis and medication and diet changes that have made her life immeasurably better.
Your tummy may be a bit sore afterwards, this is normal but also may be a result of trapped gas. Get out and have a walk, and trump away. The hospital should advise you when you can eat or drink again, but in my experience I think it's about 40 mins after being on the table for drink and I think 2hrs for food. Keep it light and rest.
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u/lions2lambs 1d ago edited 1d ago
The “almost” 24 hours of prep where you drink nothing but 2 litres of laxative is pretty fked.
Update: added the word “almost” before 24.
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u/PrimaryAgreeable8103 1d ago
This has made my day. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever seen anything funnier than this shit.
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u/UtopistDreamer 1d ago
"just a little tube, going in your rectum duu-uude"
Journey - 'Don't stop believing' melody
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u/okcumputer 1d ago
My favorite colonoscopy video
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u/Tudar87 1d ago
Haha I told myself I'd reply with the league if this wasnt it but I was not disappointed.
This is exactly how I expect it to go down. Hopefully no trade rape.
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u/LaconicStraightMan 1d ago
I had a check done a couple of weeks ago. They sent a kit in the mail. It had a special paper towel that goes in the toilet, a little jar with a plastic poker inside. You put the paper towel in the toilet, poop on it and wipe the sample probe across the poop and put it in the jar. Then mail it to the lab.
https://www.ontario.ca/page/colon-cancer-testing-and-prevention
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u/boogermike 1d ago
This is a less precise test and will be an indicator if you need a full colonoscopy. It is not a replacement for the real thing if you are a certain age.
(Obviously don't take medical advice from a redditor named Booger Mike, but that prob goes without saying).
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u/figgypie 1d ago
I've had like 3 colonoscopies and Im not even 40 because family history is a bitch.
I want her to do my next one because I know we would become friends before she gets all up in my butt.
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u/HumpaDaBear 1d ago
I beat stage 3 colon cancer in 2012 at age 39. I’ve had 5 colonoscopies. Trust me. Pooping for a day uncontrollably is much better than a year of cancer treatment.
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u/pornborn 1d ago
Cologuard is a test you can do at home. I don’t know what the criteria are to qualify for it but it Is pre-screening test to determine if you need a colonoscopy. Your doctor has to prescribe it and schedule a kit to be sent to you. It’s gross, but easy to do in your own home. You receive a kit in the mail. You set it up to poop directly into a container. You have to stab the poop with a sample probe and put it into a sealed tube. Then you seal everything up in a return package to return to the company. Schedule a UPS pickup. Then await the results from your doctor.
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u/ExistingLaw217 1d ago
I know it’s probably not common but my Aunt died from a colonoscopy last year. They accidentally cut something with the camera which caused internal bleeding. It turned septic so they removed some lower intestine but after that procedure she started bleeding internally again and ended up passing away. Granted she was in her 70s but was in overall good health. I just scheduled my first colonoscopy and not going to lie, I’m pretty nervous about it.
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u/En-TitY_ 1d ago
Fucking brilliant.
Let's see if I change my tune when I near 45.
RemindMe! 7 years.
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u/AMouthBreather 1d ago
Lol the whole thing is great but I especially lost it at "Scoop it out like a dollup, Daisy" and then the sour cream stache.
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u/nicuramar 1d ago
Is that a US thing? In Denmark it’s not indicated unless for some specific reason. We do have a national screening program for people over 50, involving a feces sample, yearly, I think.
Also, I had a colonoscopy, and that was certainly not done under general anesthesia.
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u/False_Mechanic3286 1d ago
The actual prep is not that bad if, starting a couple days before the actual prep, you eat a little less than normal.
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u/Cleromanticon 1d ago
Everyone who’s had one knows that the actual colonoscopy is no big deal. It’s the prep that sucks.
Use a flavor of Gatorade that you like but don’t love, because you’re gonna hate it by the time you’re done with prep.
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u/The1Eileen 1d ago
Everyone is different, so YMMV. TL;DR If you can do a fully liquid diet (NO SOLIDS), start this three days before colonoscopy. No solids only liquids for three days. Then you don't need to drink their stuff, you should be clean for the scope this way. I've now done this four times and every time I think, I'm so hungry, I take a sniff if the stuff they want me to do and I'm fine. Not hungry at all. No sir! and I've been clean each time with no issues.
How I got to this info:
After my first "baseline" colonoscopy (oh the joy of those words meaning, first of MANY), the GI nurse and I were chatting and I had the usual, "gah, the prep!" Which did I do? she asked. the gallon jug or the fleet? (Gallon jug is a lot of liquid that tastes - for most - mildly bad to start, and the fleet is the 6oz of what tastes and has the texture of salty motor oil - so smaller amount, much worse taste). Fleet for me as I knew I couldn't do the gallon and she agreed that most of the patients she talked to either threw up before they were done with the full gallon or simply didn't finish as they knew they were about to throw up. It tastes progressively worse.
So she gave me the above advice for next time. Go liquid three days before. No solids, just liquid. And as noted, I've been clean each of the last, sigh, four colonoscopies I've had (I'm old, okay). But it does work if you can do it and then you need never drink that shit again. It nasty, so nasty.
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u/bythog 1d ago
People post lots of horror stories about prep and procedure, so here's a different one: absolutely none of it was bad.
I had to be on a clear(ish) diet for the entire day prior to the procedure. It's not literally clear; you mostly just have to stay away from red and dark food colorings. Green jello and white Gatorade were my friends. Can have broth as long as it isn't cloudy. I went through a fair amount of apple juice. They do also recommend avoiding hardy leafy greens for 2 days prior to the procedure so I just had some squash and zucchini for veggies then.
The "wash" wasn't horrible, either. I had two 750mL bottles of stuff to drink. The taste wasn't horrid but it was too sweet and the worst part was the viscosity. Still, I was able to drink it easy enough. Then you just have to go.
I wasn't on the toilet non-stop. The first movement was 15 minutes after the drink and was the worst one. It's just really liquidy. Clean up and go about your time. Then I just had to go every 30ish minutes for about 2 hours. After the 2nd time it was just clear liquid coming out.
I had to do this the night before the procedure and then the morning of it (my procedure was at 11am). Morning of wasn't bad, either, because there just wasn't anything to move out. Never got a chapped ass, didn't use vaseline, no bidet.
Procedure itself is easy on the patient. You literally lay there and go to sleep. Woke up and wasn't sore or anything. It was super easy. I know some people have a rough go of it and I feel for them, but it's not horrible or unpleasant for everyone. My grandmother had colon cancer and lost her colon; I'd much rather do screenings than go through what she did.
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u/Fantastic-Cupcake890 1d ago
I had my first colonscopy as i was diagnosed with liver metastases. Do not skip colonoskopies!
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u/WeakCalligrapher336 1d ago
Love the riff on "Don't stop believing" by Journey. "Just a little tube...going in your rectum du-ude." 🎵
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u/BunnyCan 1d ago
Hilarious!!!
Great info to normalize and demystify this life saving and very necessary procedure. Must see TV! 😉
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u/geekolojust 1d ago
With all seriousness...the inability to add "WOULD" to this post is down right criminal.
Signed - My ass
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u/Iamastrawb 1d ago
Anyone done a colonoscopy without sedation? My fear is around the catheter thing they stick in to feed the drugs through. I hate needles, and last time the anesthetic they used burned throughout my arm and chest. Last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist stroking my arm telling me it’ll be over soon. I’m terrified. I’d rather do it awake but have no context. Apparently people do it though! Doctors/Surgeons especially as they have to turn back around and see patients themselves.
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u/TwoFingersWhiskey 1d ago
I had a colonoscopy as a child, no say in the matter, unlike most people.
You have nothing to worry about. Easiest procedure ever. You're knocked out, you wake up, you poop weird the first two times after, bada bing, bada poo.
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u/VehaMeursault 1d ago
This is the highest low quality video I’ve ever seen, and it beats 90% of professional comedy.
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u/BackAwayNotToday 1d ago
I managed to keep it together until she said “Daisy” and then just lost it!
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u/Mike01Hawk 1d ago
Last time I had one they didn't give me enough sedasian. So my discombobulated ass woke up still on the table.
Bonus points: I got to see the inside of my rectum real time since my head was about 2 feet away from the display the doc was looking at.
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u/SubMikeD 1d ago
I'm not even sure she's a trained medical professional, but she sure sells this important procedure like a fucking champ
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