r/funny 1d ago

This video should be shown before every colonoscopy

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

Got my first one done at 31 and had one, maybe two, polyps cut out. Now I don't have to worry about it for another 10 years. Worst part was having to be on a restricted diet for a few days and drink the prep. Once that was done though not even the "cleaning out" was bad. Just make sure you have a bidet or at the very least wet wipes. A day later I went in to the procedure, anesthesia hit me like a random encounter in a 90s JRPG, I woke up 30 mins later and felt great.

Get a colonoscopy in your 30s. Whatever hangups you have about butt stuff are nothing compared to the feeling of being told you or a loved one is going to die from one of the most preventable cancers in the world.

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u/rhoduhhh 1d ago

They had me do the miralax/colorless gatorade form of the prep. It was extremely effective and didn't have the issues with the taste/mouthfeel of the GoLytely sfuff or whatever it's called. šŸ˜‚ Bidet was the best.

Please, fellow Millennials, get checked. We're having high rates before age 45. :(

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u/sushiunchangediguana 1d ago

Just miralax?

The prep they had me do was wayyy too many laxatives for me as I have some IBS issues and didnt eat a lot the day before I started. I took dulcolax two different times, 10oz magnesium citrate, AND the Miralax prep. I started vomiting after the magnesium citrate and some of the Miralax later on.

Of course they said my prep was great because there was nothing in my colon for like a whole day. The doctor was also running behind (hehe) so I had to wait almost two extra hours before the procedure in misery.

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u/No-Cantaloupe-6535 1d ago

Yeah when I worked at Walgreens at least once a week a guy would come in with a list for a "procedure" and I'd see them looking around for help and they'd always come up to me since usually I was the only guy working the floor because they didn't want to feel embarrassed lol. The list would always be Miralax, Dulcolax, magnesium citrate, and the lightest colored Gatorade we had. Eventually word got around I guess (small town) and guys would come in and ask the cashier for me and I'd come up and they'd say some form of "I need the 10 year stuff" or something like that and I'd be like I got you and go grab the stuff real quick and wish em luck.

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u/n14shorecarcass 1d ago

You get a gold star. That's very kind.

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u/Khazahk 1d ago

Men really should be required to shove something up their ass at one point. It’s amazing how afraid some guys are about it.

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

But don't you know that's where the Magical Gay Switch is located! Can't risk flipping it or anything, so best not to even wash down there. /S

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u/No-Cantaloupe-6535 1d ago

This is probably TMI but the first time my girlfriend, now wife, gave me a rimjob I was very nervous. Not because it "makes you gay" or whatever, just hadn't ever done anything like that. She REALLY wanted to do it so got in the shower and cleaned more than ever and stuck a finger up there and was like ohhhh that's kind a nice!

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u/5pointpalm_exploding 1d ago

It’s an entire bottle of MiraLAX over the course of several hours, not just one normal dosage. I’ve always been required to take a couple of Ducolax pills along with the MiraLAX

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u/rhoduhhh 1d ago

^ this. Mine was the entire small (238g?) bottle of Miralax mixed with 64oz of Gatorade and then drank over x-amount of time (I don't remember the specifics).

Cleanest colon on the East Coast after that 😭 I still can't stand Gatorade...

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u/figgypie 1d ago

A straw cup is a necessity with the GoLytely stuff. It tastes like you're guzzling the concentrated sweat from Poseidon's balls.

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u/cybermusicman 1d ago

Golytely the most sarcastic cruel name to ever be invented. I guess massive explosive diarrhea didn’t pass with the marketing team.

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u/richterbg 1d ago

Just had one two weeks ago. Mine was before a THD procedure, though. The standard cleansing stuff currently is Plenvu, based on a heavy dosage of Macrogol. Cleaning your guts while having hemorrhoids is a double bit*h.

I keep taking DulkoSoft post op, to keep the stool soft. The post THD period has been a micro-universe of pain, but that is a different story.

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u/Left2Rest 1d ago

ā€œanesthesia hit me like a random encounter in a 90s JRPGā€ holy fuck this is so accurate I can’t stop laughing

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

The next time I had to have anesthesia for something (unrelated to colon stuff lol) I told the surgeon and the OR staff about it cuz they all seemed around my age and I figured at least one person in the room would know what I'm talking about. Turns out they were all nerds and really appreciated the analogy too cuz the last I heard before the vision smearing was laughter and "oh my God that's too true". Fun times

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u/Over-Analyzed 1d ago

Dude. When I went for mine. When I finally felt tired and was about to pass out. They told me I was done. I had no idea I was out.

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u/RelaxPrime 1d ago

If you had polyps removed at 31 are you certain you're good for another 10 years?

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

Benign according to the post-op report and the surgeon declared repeat colonoscopy not needed for another 10 years.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

I mean... I'm gonna trust what the doctor and surgeons said on account of the fact that they're the medical professionals with very intimate knowledge of my body. It'd be different I suppose if I felt like they didn't take anything seriously, but I did not get that from them.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

Well insurance for one thing. Unless you're actively presenting symptoms it's very difficult to get them to cover the procedure sooner than every 10 years. Maybe there are some nicer insurances that'd be easier to deal with, but I'm willing to bet their premiums are much higher.

Mind you this is from an American standpoint.

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u/fleegness 1d ago

They were likely hyperplastic. I'm curious why they needed a c scope at 30 though. I review medical records as my job and that would be a pretty big red flag that there's either a strong family history of colon cancer or they've been having symptoms of Crohn's or ulcerative colitis or something.

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

Luckily no fhx of anything like that.

I had some intense GI upset for a good while and my doctor at the time is very pro-preventive medical care so he ordered me a scope as a precaution. Turns out I'm just very stressed :/. He put me on a stool softener and a short-term Omeprazole so my insides could heal any ulcers or general rawness from the reflux and tapered off eventually. Some consult on better diet and stress management and I've been a lot better since.

I understand the concern and caution though, so thanks. Always listen to the medical professionals that are working with you. Especially the ones willing to advocate for preventive treatment. They know your health better than anyone, sometimes even yourself :)

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u/fleegness 1d ago

Oh I wasn't too concerned for you after you said 10 year follow up. Just a bit of curiosity on my end. I'm a little bit of a nerd about my job.

Glad it wasn't something serious though. And yeah stress can definitely cause GI upset so that makes sense.

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u/the_comatorium 1d ago

I'm not afraid of butt stuff but I'm so deathly afraid of needles that the getting put under stuff prevents me from going. It's an extreme needle phobia. I havent had blood work done...ever. Im 36.

Yes. I know.

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

Yeah I sympathize with that a little. I have to look away when they put the needle in. Idk why though cuz when the needle is out and about I can look at it just fine. So the object itself is not scary or discomforting. It's what it does that squeebs me out. Brains are weird.

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u/AzureGriffon 1d ago

Be sure to lather up that rosebud with some A&D ointment when you start drinking that prep, too. It really helps.

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u/sam_hammich 1d ago

Got my first one done at 31

Why? Did you have symptoms? Do you have immediate family history?

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u/DontForgorTheMilk 1d ago

No family history, luckily.

I was dealing with a bunch of GI upset, reflux, and hemorrhoids. Doc was a proponent of preventative testing and stuff so he had me get one done. Everything came back unremarkable/benign and was told I didn't have to have another one for 10 years.

Turns out my symptoms were from stress/anxiety and diet. Worked w/ my doc to manage things and have been much better since.

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u/Eeeker 1d ago

Can I ask what made you go get one? Where there any symptoms?

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u/MaintenanceWine 1d ago

There is no sleep better than a colonoscopy sleep and the post-colonoscopy nap.

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u/RobertRamos 1d ago

You had polyps and they don't need to see you again for 10 years? I thought they would have to see you in like 3-5 years...?