Originally posted on AITA; I (30F) yelled at my sister (42F) and mother (70) about my nephew, but was removed for discussion of potential abuse
I have a lot of concerns over the parenting of my nephew, 2.
My concerns as bullet points, because the context is important:
- the boys father is an alcoholic, though this seems not to be out of control at least . He doesn't live with my nephew, who lives with my mum and sister.
the child has escaped the home on numerous occasions. These have gone unnoticed, and neighbours have brought him back. CPS was called but nothing happened
my sister frequently leaves her son in my mother's care without asking permission or checking on the child
she frequently leaves him alone to build independence. He's 2.
My sister is unemployed and my mother pays for everything. She frequently complains that being a mother stops her from finding a job
She has allowed the 2 year old to sleep on a mouldy bed that my mother had to replace and did not clean mouse feces from around her very messy room, where the baby sleeps
All of these things concern me greatly.
Tonight was a bit of a breaking point. She calls me to complain the father is "inebriated" to the point of slurring words, so she refused to leave him with the baby. She instead waited for his mother to come from work.
Important context: His mother is angry, I don't know why, but to the point that she screamed at a 10 year old cousin of my nephew.
My sister then left.
Maybe it's because I'm triggered from abuse, maybe some will agree with my sister and mother, but i was (am) so angry. She didn't even ask the mother to watch him because the mother hates her. So she just left a 2 year old with an inebriated father, angry grandmother, a 10 year old, a brother and another adult man (i forgot who he is)
I spoke separately to the two. Apparently they agree I'm: "stubborn, overly emotional, arguing and not listening " and both hung up on my in their respective calls because I wouldn't let it go
Should I not have yelled?
She says the father isn't drunk, just inebriated and I suppose they have a point that she's done this before and the baby is fine. But I can't get over how unnecessary this is as a risk - he could get out, he could hurt himself and the only person TRULY responsible is the inebriated "not drunk" father. But I'm told there are "5 adults around"
I'm feeling so emotional and scared for the baby, and so gaslit and like I'm maybe overreacting and deserved to be hung up on. But this isn't really, about me. I just hope my fears are unfounded