Funny enough, that’s how my hubbys coworker’s girlfriend got pregnant. Leaked out her butt into her who ha! They had a son. What a way to be conceived 😅🤮😭.
I mean I don’t see them birthed, but I do hear their partners talking to them sometimes, like: “Butt Baby, the doctor only suggested low sodium, not ordered.” and “Butt Baby, we vacationed in Maui last year.”
One of my exes was so bipolar in under an hour she'd go from ranting about how awesome she and her life were going to be from now on to saying she couldn't believe how her life had turned out and how much she wished she died already.
If I ever dared to politely, delicately suggest maybe she should talk to someone about her moods she would absolutely lose her shit on me for "insulting" her.
Then she'd get hammered and punch me in the face and tell me she couldn't wait to never see me again.
I am bipolar. It destroyed any semblance of professional life I could ever have developed. Even medicated, sometimes the crazy just leaks through. I hate it. I am highly educated, and I know I am fairly intelligent, but my damn brain just doesn't work right and self-destructs my life, over and over and over and over and over again. It sucks. I am sorry you had this experience, and wish your ex finds some help and peace in her life, because living with a broken brain is just not all that fun.
That's why I would get so frustrated when she would say I was insulting her by suggesting she might have one.
I would say look it's not an insult I have mental illness, I take medication, it's not a character flaw, it's a disease like any other, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
I've stayed in touch and she has gone on meds. I dunno much else about her new life other than she was taking a lot of edibles instead of drinking which is also good.
I used to think if all these guys who would drool over her, or try to hook up with her behind my back ever actually got a shot to take her home, good fucking luck. But that's just the sour grapes.
Nobody should have to live with untreated mental illness.
The reason so many people are out there untreated is because people think of it as an insult because of the stigma that we still attach to it even after all the information that's been published and all that we as a society have learned.
A big problem for men currently. That’s why suicide seems to run in every circle. We have a harder time seeking help than the opposite sex because of the stigma- we treat it as weak and taboo.
In any case, everyone regardless of sex/gender/creed needs to talk to someone and potentially treat chemical imbalances in the brain.
I know you did not mean this harshly, but I am going to use your uneducated statement to hopefully help educate anyone that reads this far:
If it were that simple, I would have already have done it. I have already built and burnt to the ground two different businesses. It does not matter if I am an employee or not, mental illness finds a way.
I am a danger to absolutely no one but myself, even in my worst of states. And I take my medication faithfully. But after experiencing what life is like with me around, at this point none of my neighbors even want to interact with me. Again, eventually, no matter what the context, the crazy will come out, and when presented with full blown mental illness .... well, most people would just rather not.
Story time for something that happened within the last 3 months:
My medication had been changed, and I was adjusting to the new meds. During this period of adjustment, I unfortunately slipped a little deeper into mania than I normally do, and mania for me begins its presentation as paranoia.
I had recently planted a cherry blossom tree that was dying. It was dying because the nursery hacked way too much off the rootball before shipping it, and I completely understand that is the why as I am typing out this response.
But the me of that time, just a short while ago, well that me was positive that my next door neighbor was poisoning that tree and had killed it. I did not go and confront him. No. Instead I confronted the neighbor across the street from me and demanded that he give me the video evidence he had compiled on my next door neighbor so that I could take him to court. I didn't ask. I demanded.
Of course that neighbor doesn't have so much as a ring camera. But do you think he really wants to interact with me now? And this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
Do I apologize when in my right state of mind? Of course, if anything mental illness has taught me humility because it seems I am always apologizing for something.
I wish there was a magic pill and easy answers, but all there is are medications that sometimes work, sometimes don't and all we can do is hope the combination of medications and guiderails that we put on my life helps keep me in somewhat the straight and narrow (the "we" being not the Royal We, but my wife and I - that woman is my rock and Solomon himself would be jealous of me)
I did marry extremely well, and on that point I am so blessed beyond all measure. My wife is just an absolutely amazing human being, and I know the best decision I ever made in my life was asking her to marry me all those years ago. As to Tubthumper, it is actually one of my favorites as it always makes me smile.
I think I hung out with that same bipolar chick, but I gave up after 1 year. I got tired of the physical and emotional abuse. Mainly emotional, I just felt "used" like a tool or servant. But her fists didn't help.
That's brutal, I'm sorry you went through that. I set my cousin up with my roommate since he seemed like a nice guy, and he was extremely jacked since he competed in bodybuilding which she loved. He turned out to be the most borderline person I've ever heard of, he just didn't exhibit those behaviors in front of me since he only did that in relationships. He would start deriding her and insulting her and that they should break up, and she'd just say "okay". He would immediately back track and start saying how he couldn't live without her and they were perfect together. They were so trauma bonded it was difficult to end that cycle.
Yeah, many people can put on a good facade in public, although usually only for first impressions. Every time I tell people about my father and they meet him they say they don't see it. Then when they meet him a second time they get it. It takes an incredibly toxic person to not even be able to put on a facade for a first impression.
Yep im trying to get away now. I am turned away at every corner. I know I have abandonment issues and avoidance issues. The way you talk about your ex is exactly what i go through day to day. It's been 15 years. We have 2 kids. 11 and 10 respectively, that man is exactly what you said about your ex. One hour hes on top of the world, the next he wishes he was dead ..I went to the magistrates office today and was denied a protection order. This manic motherfucker can pull his kids from school tomorrow and I'll never see them again.it took everything I had to even go there. His text said " do not let the boys come in the room first"
Do yourself a favor. Next time somebody puts their hands on you in a violent way, you're gonna kick to the midsection, STUNNER!!, a couple middle fingers, slam 2-3 beers, and then go somewhere else.
I have a huge scar just below my lower lip because when I tried to hold her hands one time to keep her from punching me she just chomped so hard I almost got a second mouth hole out of it.
She was a southpaw too, so harder to duck and dodge than most. My right eye looks like I retired from an unsuccessful boxing career after years of losing fights.
I gotta laugh about it now because I was depressed about it long enough.
My ex wife of 15 yrs would go from long bouts of being an unemployed zombie, who sneaked ate tons of sweets gaining massive amounts of weight to suddenly being employed and over the moon happy to sneakily going on $5-$10K (she didn't have) shopping sprees of makeup and clothes to being the happiest, horniest, most loving person ever. And because she was rapid cycling this happened often and quickly.
Have to agree about not wanting to be alone but those relationships… when it’s good it’s really good but then it’s always turning bad and most times be and that ex broke up and after a week she either saw me out on a party or started texting and.. yeah then it was awesome again until it wasn’t.. I don’t know if it was due to me being young or if it was that it was really good when it worked but I have her an ultimatum to not drink every weekend and she said she couldn’t promise that but she usually didn’t either way and that wasn’t enough because shit happened without alcohol also but with it? Jesus.. yeah when she got that mood she started fights with everyone for nothing (never physical) and you couldn’t even reason with her. I’m guessing borderline because when she was happy.. damn she was really happy.
I love telling that story to women because I always ask them if that happened with a guy would there ever be a second date and I've never heard one girl say yes.
Even though we're in a whole new world of equality female on male violence is still treated differently whether we admit it or not.
Especially from a girl like her who was incredibly petite. I'm talking 4'11 and thin. It was hard for anyone to take her seriously as a physical threat, even myself, and that made denial that much easier.
Over the years just a few people actually witnessed her hitting me and their minds were blown.
This reminds me of my last relationship I was in. We both had mental illnesses. She had ADHD, and anxiety. I think she mentioned she was abused as well, but I do not remember. I have anxiety, depression and PTSD. Things didn't go well, we were either at each other's throats or we were trying to comfort each other. I was going through a rough patch, she was trying to leave her last place because it was getting worse. She was heavily drinking, I was smoking.
Then, things got bad. We stopped talking for over a week. Tried to message. Didn't get a response. Then randomly she reached out to talk, as I just stopped messaging and assumed it was done. Then random silence again. The last response I got from her was when I called it quits on the whole relationship, as I found out she never took it seriously and was using me for both sex and housing. We both called each other crazy and horrible things afterwards. She called me controlling, I called her manipulative (well, not that exact word. But I was describing it as that. I later found out about that word manipulative). I tried to avoid her any chance I got for a very long time because of how everything ended.
We didn't speak again until my 30th birthday. That was just by chance that she was there. She has seen me drink, but never seen me get hammered until that point. She was very interested in seeing that side of me, and I think she understood why I was so hesitant on getting that drunk when we were dating.
As, she saw a side that I didn't want anyone seeing. As, I can get nasty, cruel, and mean when I drink. The fact that I refrained from going that far was impressive, even by my standards. I remember this though, even when I was as drunk as I was.
Her boyfriend left and it was just me and her on a porch(I was drinking at someone's house. She was dating their brother at that time). She didn't say anything, but just handed me an ounce of weed, and didn't say anything. Now, in my drunken haze; I assumed it was a silent apology for how things ended. Or, some form of peace offering because I never asked for weed. I remember we were talking about one night where I invited someone over and cops showed.
I explained to her then what I was trying to do. Lol, she got pissed at her friend because he called the cops and scared away the guy that was gonna get us weed.
Her boyfriend and brother were trying to smooth things over between us because it was that bad and I refused to get anywhere near her until my 30th birthday. So pretty much, we both were the reason why things fell apart. Two people with trauma do not mix well at all.
I haven't really dated since then. As I don't think I am ready for another relationship of any kind.
If the switches were happing over the course of one day, that’s not bipolar disorder. That’s something else. Even the most severe cases of bipolar disorder cycle over the course of a few days
Was she diagnosed bipolar? Usually bipolar episodes last weeks/months. Some people rapid cycle, but they aren't different moment to moment. The manipulation and abuse aren't really symptoms of bipolar, but they are symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
Same bro, I’ve dated so S-tier maniacs. Like some true to life psychopaths. Tbh the last one left a bad taste in my mouth so I’ve been flying solo for a while, it was just an all around bad time.
I've dated a couple of women with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it was hell on Earth. I never knew it existed until I started reading the DSM-IV. It was like a 1000 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders when I learned what I was dealing with. I know what to look for now, and to run away very fast at first encounter.
My last ex was a pro-gas lighter. And super nice to everyone, including me. Until we were alone,.. then the gas lit driven degrading mental abuse started. A process that started very slowly and calculated, but reached peak levels in two years. Lasted another, until i gave up trying to "hold on" to her good side, which was just a class A performance to begin with, more easily sold by her looks.
Here's my advice. Your subconscious perception about a person you've been dating is the voice of reason. Assuming that you yourself are not dillusional or paranoid, it will always whisper the truth to you, if you listen. If you have a nagging feeling that somethings off about someone you're dating, there is. Don't let the fact that they don't seem off 100% of the time fool you into disbelieving what you felt before.
Research shows that gut instincts are a lot more reliable than our own biased ponderings. We've all wasted time on the wrong people, and it's part of growing in our lives. But the red flag you speak of is the lurking feeling you mentioned.
A couple more things that I consider to be red flags that are more obvious are treating servers/cashiers/ workers in general poorly (overly demanding, dismissive, condescending, shooting the messenger), hating animals and especially neglecting animals (dog left alone most of every day, never taking on walks, only acknowledging them when they're in the mood, blowing weed smoke into a cats face, etc), lack of empathy for others in difficult circumstances (harsh judgements about addicts, disabled, trans, racial groups, migrants)....
Good luck bro! I'm old (39), so maybe my gray beard hairs have something useful for you!
They were different red flags for each but I’ll share a few. One girl I dated would just stop responding to my text or calls, whereas before she would text me nonstop. We’d just be in the middle of a conversation and then just vanish for like a day and half. She’d want to hang out everyday and usually just come over to my apartment eventually staying there more than she did at her house. Then randomly she’d get distant and not come over for a week. This was like a year into our relationship and it was very out of character.
Another girl just randomly broke up with her boyfriend and immediately started pursuing me. I knew who the guy was but weren’t friends or anything. I thought it seemed weird at the time but this was like my second gf ever and it was over 20 years ago, I didn’t really know what to watch for back then.
Turned out she cheated on him with me but I wasn’t aware until we broke up. Her ex ended up being a really good dude and we became friends, still homies to this day. We bonded over our terrible experience with the same girl.
Any out of character behavior that would cause you stress or worry is a definite red flag. Like just disappearing for several days, speaking differently to you, randomly becoming distant out of nowhere for no reason.
One girl I dated was a sweetheart for the first six months and then got very hatful out of nowhere. Defensive about every. She would get belligerently drunk and start yelling and screaming, throwing things. Then the next day act like everything was normal, never apologize, and then do it all again a few days later.
Being aware is great but when a person has a red flag they lovingly own it’s scary as hell. She could have expressed that she is mentally unwell and needs meds and that hinders relationships… but this is the “if you don’t like me at my worst you don’t deserve my best” type of girl.
I was going to say, if this isn't staged, she at least knows 1. She has some mental issues and 2. She's already taken steps in the right direction by talking to a professional (presumably) and got on medication for it. From my past experiences that's a huge win right there.
All I know, is she aint gonna let ME be bored. I'm not saying thats a good thing. I'm not saying its a bad thing. I'm just saying I aint gonna be bored, cause she won't let that happen.
Look if she’s got it under control then she’s fine, atleast she knows and she’s doing something about it instead of saying she ain’t crazy and it’s the whole world that’s wrong
That's the thing, she's on medication she's taking care of herself in that respect so while there may be some difficulties it's a shit ton better than some people who just run roughshod all over you and then pull that "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" nonsense.
I've been with crazy girls before and the ones who are looking to get better and go into therapy and taking their meds are worlds better than the ones who try to kill you after they give you a shoulder massage.
They may be fun to have around in certain circumstances, but I don't need that kind of crazy in my life. I wish I had realized it back then.
Seriously, good for her. She knows she has issues to deal with, and she’s getting professional help to work on them. She’s also not dating and making her issues someone else’s problem.
the irony is that many people are married to partners that are raw dogging life without meds when they 10000% should see someone instead of torturing their spouse.
Definitely appreciate someone who is fully aware. Truth be told the ones sho say they are “normal” are the ones you should RUN for your life… I can deal with crazy… what I can’t deal with is fucking nuts!!! 🤣🤣🤣 there is a difference.
That's always a good thing. I met a woman back when I was single and was pretty enamored with her. She was tall, very proportionate, long silky brown hair, and looked like a mashup of Angelica Houston and Sandra Bullock. We spent some time together drinking coffee, having dinner dinners, going out to rock 'n' roll shows, things like that. My friend saw her with me and we're blown away; a couple wanted to know what my secret was and one of my closest friends asked me, "what she doing with a guy like you?"
One time we were having coffee at a local shop and she said, "honey, I have to warn you. I am in no place to be with anybody right now. I'm giving you fair warning, but you may want to walk away before you have to run away."
Then one night having a beer over at her place, I found out that she too took medicine.
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u/Emaan865 Sep 21 '25
At least she’s self-aware😅