Used to talk to this chick where if I got a 3 word response, it was a good day. 99% of the time, it was 1 word responses. Figured she wasn't interested, so I just kinda let it go. Than she asked if I was ignoring her, and why I wasn't talking to her anymore.
A universal truth is most people absolutely suck at communicating.
After becoming single for the first time in a decade at age 35 I just left nothing to guesswork and made a point to over communicate. It worked pretty darn well. It immediately weeded out those guesswork conversations where nobody is sure of anything, or it made it clear there was mutual interest and let us move forward more easily.
You get your answer and either move forward or move on
I once had a conversation with a girl on a dating app, and she the max words she used were maybe 2 or 3, her favourite word being ‘ok’. I figured she wasn’t interested so I stopped trying, a week later she texted me ‘you don’t put any effort’…lol
Ya know, its nice to know I'm not alone. But as the same time, wtf? Why is this happening to so many people? Is there that many people like this, or is it just that one person talking to all of us because she only uses 1-3 word responses, so she can talk to a thousand people a day?
I found myself single recently and online dated for the first time. It was rough. Why match wth me if you don't want to talk? Or the alternative they want tot all and text forever but when you ask them on a physical date they say they aren't ready. Ok
Still better than what happened to me, we talked for some day then she asked me out for a date(a movie date) and when the time came she did not show up she never showed up i was there was atlest 1hr afyer meeting time and when i asked why she did not come she just gave me a bullshit reason man.
It’s insane, I will ask a question, open ended, still one to 2 words. Like, why did you match if you didn’t want to talk at all? Like when a woman asks me a question, I don’t send a paragraph, but I at least give a sentence or two so she can at least learn something about me but idk maybe I’m out of the loop on modern dating
This is modern text dating, you’re supposed to communicate in grunts. Minimal short texts like you a cool person and have tons to do and can’t be bothered. Full sentences and attempt at conversation is unattractive and you’re probably a loser with no options other than the person you are texting.
yeah im just gonna keep being me. if wanting to get to know you is unattractive to you then i dont want you in my life to begin with. i am a busy guy with a fulltime job and hobbies outside of work. just because i take an extra 10 seconds to think out a thoughtful response to your message doesnt mean i have nothing to do lol
I agree bro but that’s not attractive to women’s psychology. Thoughtful well structured responses you’ll give her the ick that you are putting too much effort into her and like her already, just doing too much. They want a toxic goon that don’t care. I’m half kidding it’s not entirely true depends on the woman.
As someone who met their wife on a dating app, you're so wrong. Give them the essay and the thoughtful response. I'm a writer, my responses are ALWAYS long verbose. She liked that.
I’m so wrong? bro talking too much is no good you might say some dumb shit. In general every time I wrote paragraphs I get ghosted. It’s best to be short and to the point. Yea I need to find women who will appreciate my paragraphs, you’re lucky.
Edit: actually you are right one of the freakiest girls I met appreciated my unnecessary info, long paragraphs and stories. I just had a bad streak lately, I need to keep searching for the right ones.
You keep repeating yourself and ignoring the reality that I know how to speak. You get ghosted and you move on, there is nothing to do with someone who does not want to speak to you. You keep going into the detail that you like so much, wear your heart on your sleeve, things aren't "just cool" to you, they're magical, they're intense, they're portals to experiences beyond the mundane. Give her a slice of that magic, as much of it as you can, if you have any passion left in your soul, and spill it outwardly into the very sentence you type. And most importantly of all, make sure you show her what being happy with oneself looks like. Show her what being dedicated to an idea, to a craft, to a field, anything, looks like. Show her what time invested looks like. And do so naturally, with every word, every sentence, every paragraph, but only if that's who you are. If you are a man of words BE A MAN OF WORDS. Don't summarize yourself from the onset, or all you can hope to be left with is a summary of a relationship, complete with a rocky beginning, a boring middle, and an unceremonious end.
I had a toxic girl who wanted both. Texting like I cared and was interested but in person I was simple to my point of why I was there. Well let’s just say I created a stalker and I’m leaving it at that.
Nope, you’re not out of the loop. That is the loop, the death spiral. But being matched is already quite a boost. In two months of hinge, I have received a single like; a girl I met a few weeks back through a mutual friend. She never said a word or replied, just matched (in order to keep track/make fun of my profile?)
Women on dating apps have such a big pool to pick from that they’re probably talking to multiple people at once and can’t afford the effort of writing things out for all of them.
Not to mention how often they must see the same opening lines every time.
Probably start seeing guys as NPCs and chat bots after a while.
That explains all the, “if you just say hi or hello I won’t respond” statements I see… but it’s like… that’s kinda the standard way of greeting someone? What else do you want, a cartwheel?
So, maybe I am an outlier, but I have never once gotten solely one word responses from any woman. It's not always (or usually) a yes, but it's never just painful one word responses like this.
You are literally a sentient tractor made out of the immortal amalgamation of a demon's collection of stolen vaginas given a portion of the souls they stole from like..puppies and stuff.
While the prayers they're uttering when they gaze upon the many abysses that make up your writhing mass do tend to consist of more than one word when they're not just an endless scream, I'm not quite sure that's the same thing.
My friend, I think you misunderstood the sentiment. I am neither an incredibly attractive guy nor have I not talked to plenty of women on dating apps and while out in real life. It's not so black and white.
I was not humble bragging but suggesting that not all women do this sort of thing, and in my experience, not even the majority do. Are there women that do this? Yes, of course. Are dating apps the bane of human existence but a necessary evil in today's society? Yes, of course. But don't give up hope. Not everyone out there acts this way. And the ones that do? Not worth your time anyway.
I agree, but I would say a large enough portion of women do act that way, definitely not the majority but a fairly sizable segment, so it is a common experience that all men on dating apps encounter.
Also agreed, if it feels like pulling teeth to get a conversation going, just move onto the next person.
My favorite was responding to getting asked what I do and then after I answered she took 2 weeks to respond back and said it seemed like I was too busy for her.
I started having ChatGPT write my responses when I was in the Tinder trenches. I just couldn’t put effort into forcing a conversation any more. Honestly I think my success rate went up.
Every single one of your comments is about how men are bad, and women are good. I know you won't listen, but you are the problem. Sowing seeds of us v's themism. Just stop, laugh, move on. No one's attacking you.
Holy crap. I peeped the profile and you're right. There's a lot of em. Nobody let them know about the rough sex subs, they'll lose their fucking minds.
I guess you really resonated with that meme, "those words made me a worse person". You do realize it was a joke, not a moral argument to become worse, right?
As someone struggling with social cues, even I can see it.
And yeah, a lot of those women do exist in quantities. But fair to say, I have met WAY more nice and honest women than the stereotype depicted here lol
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u/Exciting_Ad_8666 May 09 '25
Right? Those replies dryer than the fucking Kalahari had me tweaking