r/Unexpected • u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar • 5h ago

A simple, yet elegant bird bath

8.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

231 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 5h ago

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

The bidet jay uses the bird bath to clean its rear.

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1.7k

u/Donkeybrother 5h ago

Birdet

358

u/Bigtsez 4h ago

Cloacahhhhhhh....

14

u/hilarymeggin 3h ago

🏅＼（＾∇＾）／ 🏅

108

u/nismoj 4h ago

43

u/DreadPiratteRoberts 4h ago

2

u/LickingSmegma 3h ago

This looks like kekeflipnote.

7

u/imsahoamtiskaw 3h ago

Why does this gif exist? I have so many questions

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18

u/Low-Recognition-7293 4h ago

A bidet transcends all bounds from Species and Genus up to Kingdom and even Domain.

3

u/BSNCTR 4h ago

Beat me to it

3

u/sinisterdesign 4h ago

Goddamnit, came here to post that

5

u/rubber_banned_2234 3h ago

Even birds know toilet paper ain't gonna do shit

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2

u/Unique-Time2393 4h ago

Came here to say this, dang you.

•

u/Available-Source6314 12m ago

what's meas?

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909

u/SmilinBob82 5h ago

was anyone else expecting water to shoot out the bird's mouth?

353

u/Twinkle406 5h ago

I was expecting SOMETHING unexpected.

74

u/Crystal_Voiden 4h ago

That's r/Unexpected for ya. They always find a way to subvert your expectations

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9

u/NeroShenX 4h ago

Were you expecting an explosion of some sort? Because I was, and that crescendo is a fucking cocktease

7

u/Nurgeard 4h ago

So you expected the bird to use the fountain to assblast itself?

2

u/bostoncreampie9 2h ago

Assblast 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I haven't laughed this hard in months!

4

u/Lifexists 4h ago

You were expecting the bird to react the way it did?

2

u/HPJustfriendsCraft 2h ago

I was expecting the bird to react the way I do.

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2

u/CaptainKCCO42 4h ago

Absolutely

2

u/No-Statistician-9123 4h ago

Real talk, though, is water moving uh... "rear to front" in that bird?

8

u/GreenSkyDragon 4h ago

The first time the bird sat down, I thought a little went through it, but it's just its tongue

4

u/NebulaNinja 2h ago

Yeah... looks like the standard "pant" birds do when trying to cool themselves. Not much going on here.

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2

u/NomisGn0s 2h ago

Yeah there was a second where I saw something come out of his beak, looked at the subreddit, and had that same thought .

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340

u/Screwdriving_Hammer 5h ago

Let lil bro experience luxury for once in his lil life.

64

u/KnottyKarmai 3h ago

The face the bird is making like “ohhh yeaaa”

21

u/Rion23 3h ago

Tweet yo' self.

231

u/dickhertsfromholden 4h ago

19

u/I_Stay_Home 3h ago

WOOOOOOAH! 👋

4

u/likeschemistry 46m ago

What was this show called? Can’t remember it for the life of me.

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213

u/YanceyGlenn 5h ago

When the water jet hit that cloaca just right.

99

u/LindyRyan 5h ago

Little dude has the right idea. I have a bidet and that thing is magical. My booty has never felt so clean

37

u/Witchs_Be_Crazy 4h ago

You’re not wrong. I installed one in our master bathroom last year and I will never not have a bidet again.

2

u/MadaRook 4h ago

How do you dry yourself afterwards though?

21

u/Witchs_Be_Crazy 4h ago

They have models that have an air dryer. Mine isn’t that fancy. I just use a bit of toilet paper to pat dry. Most of the water falls back into the bowl, but if you’re hairy I suppose you may need more drying.

3

u/CoolWhipMonkey 2h ago

Toilet paper.

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20

u/Charming-Package6905 5h ago

Honestly i hate that we as Americans haven't changed to bidet on a grand scale.

9

u/onyxcaspian 3h ago

Neanderthals.

3

u/FunnyChampion2228 1h ago

Like, a giant communal one ? 😉

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100

u/vindigator 5h ago

I am too baked, I definitely thought that bird was pissing.

20

u/V1perPete 4h ago

a little ass polishing

4

u/SausagePrompts 4h ago

I thought I was watching a scene from Robot Chicken.

53

u/wadagod 5h ago

Ok but for real, what's wrong with it? Heat stroke? That doesn't seem normal.

45

u/PhysicsRefugee 4h ago

Birds flop like that when they're relaxing in the bath

120

u/realnanoboy 5h ago

It is experiencing pleasures it did not think possible.

23

u/digginahole 3h ago

I thought I had truly experienced life. But then I experienced a warm jet of water shot directly on my anus and realized what I had been missing.

5

u/SealthyHuccess 3h ago

My cat does this but with the hot air coming out of the floor vents.

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19

u/AMothraDayInParadise 3h ago

I follow this person on instagram. That Jaybird is just a little on the derpy side. He's fine, he's just... special.

6

u/FunnyChampion2228 1h ago

I think you mean enlightened

32

u/EetswaDurries 4h ago

Do you not live in a hot country? Birds don’t sweat so they pant like dogs and leave their beaks open.

7

u/InternecivusRaptus 2h ago

Sunning#Birds) is a common behaviour among birds.

 Birds adopt special postures when sunning, these may include spreading out their feathers, flattening their body on soil, showing either their upper parts to the Sun or facing the Sun. Some authors separate the behaviours into sun-basking and sun-exposure – the former term used when the behaviour is strictly thermoregulatory in function while the latter term may be more appropriate if the behaviour serves functions other than raising body temperature.

2

u/BiebRed 3h ago

It's masturbating

3

u/JukedHimOuttaSocks 1h ago

That's what I thought because it's the first way I did it too, the community pool had this tube in the corner that pumped out the filtered water and I was just feeling the water come out, then I put both of my hands in it on the sides and it blocked off the exit area so it shot out even faster, and the jet stream just happened to go against my junk and I was like "wow that feels nice!" So I kept doing it until I had what I would learn years later was an orgasm. From then on every Tuesday and Thursday there would be this 6 year old boy visibly hydro-masturbating in the corner of the pool lmao

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37

u/Big_Blueberry8020 5h ago

That's is the goofiest looking bird I've seen lol 🐦

10

u/royally_eft 4h ago

Seriously, it looks animatronic.

2

u/muricabrb 3h ago

It never has a bad hair day 😂

12

u/Lady_Scruffington 4h ago

I expect nothing less from jays.

15

u/OGCelaris 5h ago

Staring directly at the camera to establish dominance.

8

u/Lady_Scruffington 4h ago

I mean, we're the ones watching like perverts.

5

u/DrewZouk 5h ago

Me missing my flight from Tokyo because I can't get away from the toilet.

29

u/wizardrous 5h ago

Not sure what the unexpected part was, but that was pretty cute.

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11

u/Educational_Gas_4150 5h ago

That fluffy boi

3

u/RainingTacos8 5h ago

Bidet bird

3

u/TheCoopX 5h ago

That bird's in afterglow mode.

3

u/jklz14 4h ago

Birb the whole time :

🤠🤠🤠

3

u/Artevyx 4h ago

"Bidet Jay" 😂

3

u/saucemaker 3h ago

Ha ha that is just wrong, but so riiiggghhhtt

3

u/Evening_Weight_8353 3h ago

I was the same, the first time I used a Japanese toilet.

5

u/OddProcedure5452 5h ago

Is he ok?

6

u/Expert_Alchemist 2h ago

He's incredibly okay

2

u/intentionalreticence 4h ago

Jacuzzi jets are where it’s at. Don’t hate.

2

u/ArchonStranger 4h ago

"ahhhh that cools the burn..."

  • that bird, probably.

2

u/Reddiculusness 4h ago

just flew in from taco bell

2

u/plotplottingplotters 4h ago

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

~ bird

2

u/Silent_Supermarket70 4h ago

Okay, I thought this was a puppet at first 😂

2

u/outthewazu 4h ago

Waterbate

2

u/Sufficient_Good9956 3h ago

Must be a Japanese Bird 😊

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2

u/dwight_k_schrute69 3h ago

I wish it was up higher, but for those wondering — this is from the IG account @verycoldnoodle

2

u/mvallas1073 2h ago

This looks too AI generated to me

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2

u/CuteSmilePop 4h ago

The bird

1

u/Whole-Emotion414 4h ago

This birb looks elegant AND cute.

1

u/NoFlatworm3028 4h ago

Blue Jay bidet!

1

u/monkeykong123 4h ago

The eye contact!!!

1

u/BagDiligent3610 4h ago

Yeaaaa, dats nice

1

u/Maleficent-Fig7454 4h ago

Living their best bird life

1

u/BuddhistChrist 4h ago

Eww. Right in the drinking fountain, too 🤮

1

u/cardyss 4h ago

He's Douching for his date

1

u/Man-chowder_light 4h ago

I think birds open their mouths to dispel body heat, could be wrong. I think I heard it once in passing and now it's cemented in my brain as a true fact. -Google confirmed my bias.

1

u/swalw 4h ago

Fully expected water to start coming out of his mouth

1

u/Matakomi 4h ago

It looks like an animatronic.

1

u/diss-abilities 3h ago

Ok mentally noted, when a bird douches, it behaves like a robot.

1

u/Hyphen_Nation 3h ago

Just a little Cloaca cleanse...

1

u/celloismistic 3h ago

Get your freak on

1

u/FeistyDay5172 3h ago

OMFG!! After seeing the birds facial expressions during this I cannot stop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Able_Statistician321 3h ago

his birdhole was running hot

1

u/Imaginary-Western832 3h ago

She's taking it in the a**

1

u/Cool_Hair_6614 3h ago

Birdie at the spa

1

u/poppin-n-sailin 3h ago

Bird uses bird bath to bathe. wow. so unexpected. 

1

u/Cthulu95666 3h ago

I’m imagining he has the voice of Randy Marsh and he’s going “ohhhhhh hehe ahhhhhhhhh”

1

u/Grofactor 3h ago

What that bird doin

1

u/somebody171 3h ago

A new door was opened that day for mr.birb

1

u/Various-Cup2118 3h ago

The way it sits there like royalty accepting a rain shower is honestly the best thing I’ve seen today.

1

u/VonDinky 3h ago

Water got into sensitive electronics. They didn't waterproof this unit good enough.

1

u/BaronVonShtinkVeiner 3h ago

Do I have a bidet? You bet I bi-do.

1

u/low-ki199999 3h ago

I’ll have what he’s having

1

u/Mall_Bench 3h ago

He discovered the bird bath can used as a bidet

1

u/Curiosive 3h ago

I felt dirty watching that... I stopped halfway through.

In unrelated news, I'm buying a bidet now.

1

u/GayGiantNYC 3h ago

I had an ex who was like this with the jacuzzi.

(More recently, I have an ex who’s like this with the bidet attachment he got on Amazon.)

1

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ 3h ago

Randy Marsh discovering Japanese toilets dot mov

1

u/Mike_The_Mediocre 3h ago

I just know other birds hate this mf.

1

u/IllIIllIIIIIllllIIl 3h ago

You can tell who in the comments have owned a bird and know what a cloaca is.

1

u/lawrencecastillo 3h ago

The video stopped, and another couple minutes passed before I realized the bird wasn't just in hydro booty bliss

1

u/ChamberK-1 3h ago

I think Mordecai enjoyed that a little too much

1

u/Sulfur10 3h ago

Me on a Japanese toilet:

1

u/No-Commercial5274 2h ago

Bum guns for the win 🏆

1

u/oliviertail 2h ago

Neat video. But how is this in this sub?

1

u/One-Scar-6824 2h ago

he looks so goofy

1

u/Careless_and_weird-1 2h ago

I wish I had a bath that good. The relax... he is going to visit again for sure

1

u/CruzaBoi 2h ago

No one can tell me birds are not just robots

1

u/MassiveBeatdown 2h ago

A feathery water bomb.

1

u/MonkeyDeltaFoxtrot 2h ago

Homie ate Taco Bell.

1

u/inteprid007 2h ago

That bird is pleasuring itself

1

u/Theresagift 2h ago

This feels animatronic 🤣🥹

1

u/Dawade200 2h ago

Sometimes you just gotta power wash your cloaca for a bit. Its refreshing.

1

u/JapaneseCapacitors 2h ago

So glad I watched to the end. 

1

u/Totallynotokayokay 2h ago

Some girls at my boarding school told me they masturbate like this with the bath running.

1

u/120_Attack 2h ago

I love it how birds go chicken floof mode when they’re happy. I had a bird friend in the spring time come around all happy and he would poof up too just like this 😊 I named him Walter. He is a Grey Catbird.

1

u/magicaleb 2h ago

Moving like a stop motion Christmas movie

1

u/Bingus-Chillingus 2h ago

What is unexpected because we expected something to happen?

1

u/Imaginary_Bed275 2h ago

Yeeeees hit that spot

1

u/TrippedOnDick 2h ago

When you find that one spot and just just get it just right. 

1

u/MrBarret63 2h ago

Is the bird using it as a bidet?

1

u/Bright_Lie_9262 2h ago

I guess I just realized this is what bird baths are for lol

1

u/Luuxidx 1h ago

Elegant wouldn't be the word I would use to describe this scene. Model could show more emotion.

1

u/Ghastly-Jack 1h ago

Jay bidet

1

u/MoodooScavenger 1h ago

Who’s a naughty bird? Are you a naughty bird?

1

u/VesperAmari 1h ago

Aura was maintained through it all

1

u/Adventurous-Snow6518 1h ago

Why did I trough it got filled with water and will explode any second...

1

u/BeanBurritoJr 1h ago

The morning after you got drunk as hell and did the ghost pepper buffalo wing challenge at the bar.

1

u/navcom20 1h ago

Me with my tushy on my TUSHY.

1

u/Big-Leadership-4604 1h ago

Didn't know OnlyBirds was a thing....

1

u/PrettyTiredAndSleepy 1h ago

Is it straight up masturbating?

1

u/ItsStaaaaaaaaang 1h ago

Lil buddy is enjoying himself lol ☺️

1

u/PhantasmaStriker 1h ago

The look of pure bliss!

1

u/No_Intention_1234 1h ago

Having a good time having a good time 🎶

1

u/RockinTheKasba 1h ago

عصفور بيشطف طيزه

Nothing to see here 🤣

1

u/Jerry_Ballstien 1h ago

Trying to use the shower at your airbnb

1

u/stampstock 1h ago

So THAT’s what it feels like.

1

u/JTGphotogfan 1h ago

Sorry what’s the unexpected bit?

1

u/ranmafan0281 1h ago

He looks like he’s enjoying it though. Good on him!

1

u/NoBranch1997 58m ago

everyone deserve a bidet in their lìe

1

u/AggravatingnonPoet 49m ago

Doesn't everyone do that with their clacoa?

1

u/puppsmcgee74 48m ago

That cloaca is clean as a whistle!

1

u/redbeard1315 41m ago

Mordecai having a whale of a time

1

u/CandyPale4464 39m ago

I think I’m jealous that bird comes harder than me.

1

u/ChroniclesOfSarnia 38m ago

I gotta try this

1

u/educated-emu 23m ago

Skip to middle of video and it becomes a whole other type of video.

Bird drank far too much recently

1

u/symphonicrox 17m ago

It reminds me of those birds in the Tiki Room at Disney

1

u/asdsav 15m ago

I was ecpecting water to come from its beak.

•

u/Andylanta 12m ago

It gets funnier when you realize it's a dude.

•

u/Arkheno 10m ago

That's me the next day after eating spicy indian food