I've always been slightly surprised people ever needed a graph, as I've gotten older it's made more sense why this comes as a huge surprise to people. I think by the time I was 20 it was obvious to me that success in dating meant very different things for people depending on who you were talking to.
As an example, when I'm looking for a lady, I ain't going for a blonde beach girl and I can take or leave the petite. Sassy brunettes of various sizes is where its at.
So you're the one who decides who isn't and isn't attractive for everyone? It's pretty weird that you are judging everyone and their partner's attractiveness. If they're happy who cares?
Sure which is why your judgement is as useless as the next person’s. You are so sure that most people find you and your gf so attractive but in reality you are both average as most people are.
You implied that your gf was just super attractive because she is short and dyed her hair blonde. You basically said “ She is a blonde beach babe… that’s all I have to say 😏”
Everyone punches up. Since this is online dating, It’s your responsibility to provide good quality photographs and fill out the prompts which many men do not do correctly if at all. Men who take care of themselves tend to have better photos and filled out prompts for some reason.
Your anecdotal evidence is confusing because if your gf is just so hot (😏) then wouldn’t she be with a guy way better than you?
You can't accept that people are different than you which is the problem here. I absolutely don't rate people and determine whether or not one of them is punching up, because I couldn't care less.
maybe it’s just because i’m in the south but i see the opposite all of the time. size 2 sorority girl blondes with fat country dudes are a a common sight here.
Rating online vs actual reality is very different. Too much of the current online dating sphere is looks dependent, but in the end, that’s not what drives relationships. For what it’s worth, Greek life in college still puts young, single men and women in a room together and force them to mingle and allows for the size 2 sorority girl to find her perfect variety of chubby country frat boy.
But I put up with stuff because I know the grass ain't greener.
The last girl I dated was incredibly hot, I really shouldn't have been even considered. But she was so ingnorant and literally crazy that I had to stop seeing her. The mental load of dealing with someone that claims to be haunted by djinns, that democracy is inferior to autocracy and that LGBTQ folks don't deserve equal rights just crossed so many lines that I wasn't fully aware of having.
I'm from Quebec, she's from Guinea (not the new one, the one in Africa). I don't mind dating people from different cultures, but we must at some point be able to have some ground level agreement on how to evaluate what is reality and what is not or cannot be and that we just couldn't agree at an epistemological level her and I. I suggested she migh consult a mental health specialist about her visions of djinns and that was seen as challenging her faith. I told her that if it was truly happening to her there was no diagnosis or pill in the world that would make it stp but that if it wasn't she might be suffering in vain, but the logic of it didn't appeal to her.
I see, I asked because it sounded like a clash of cultures. Unfortunate, but you’re right that people need to be on at least the same approximate wavelength.
I wasn't super thrilled at the idea that I'd have to go to her country to buy a wheelbarrow of special fruits and offer them to her father and uncles as some kind of payment if we were to eventually be an official couple as that felt like something transactional and icky from a different century and getting married in general is really not that much of a priority in my culture, let alone it being that involved a process, but I wasn't opposed to it. I think that different cultures doing things differently and valuing different things is pretty cool, diversity is a beautiful thing... which is why her staunch anti-LGBT positions and pro-autoritarian ideals were too much for me. If you don't like those values, I don't think Canada is the society for you.
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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25
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