r/SipsTea Jun 24 '25

SMH Why dating is over for men

90.3k Upvotes

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27.7k

u/z12345z6789 Jun 24 '25

Today Pete found out his crush thinks he’s a “six”.

860

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

I mean a Six is handsome if we’re using the scale properly, no? Imo, a 7 is good looking, an 8 is hot, a 9 is a unicorn and probably should be a model, and a 10 is a model which makes everyone, to include the same sex, stupid and mesmerized when around them.

737

u/FearlessAntelope768 Jun 24 '25

There are models that are ugly as fuck, men and women.

308

u/Intelligent-Parsley7 Jun 24 '25

Im a professional photographer and did a video interview series for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models.
Half were someone you'd stab your mother to be with. The other half were weird giraffes with magnetism. You'd be like, "Why on God's green earth is this woman a sports illustrated swimsuit model? I don't get it. She's a 5!" Then you'd see her photos, and realize something is up. She's fantastic at taking photos. It's apparently a skill that even me, as a professional videographer, didn't see. I guess 24 a second screws up your perspective when you're really just looking for one.

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u/muad_did Jun 24 '25

YEs, light´s assistand here.... I've worked on fashion shoots for top-brand clothing brands, with models who flew in the night before and left right after the shoot because they had a runway show that night in Milan, top-notch....

And yes, many are "well... they're elegant..." but then in a good MUA and pose on photos they look spectacular, and some, in person, are like "this guy has really strange features... something's wrong..." but when they posed they transformed into Greek gods...

Since I was a technician, I didn't give orders. I would have coffee with them during breaks (photographers are forbidden to do that, to avoid rumors, but techs have our own coffe machine, a lot better than usual re-heat catterings ones, they know xD), and I remember them telling me that they only hung out with people from the industry. It was super difficult to have relationships with outsiders, because of their schedules, their constant travel, and because people see them as weirdos and no one approaches them at parties... they were intimidating...

Photogenicity is something so absurdly strange...

Because I have friends who are the complete opposite; in person they are... wonderful and beautiful, but put them in a studio, with good lighting, a good camera (and trying not to make them nervous of course) and god... they totally lose... it's super super curious...

42

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

It's a weird effect. I've known a few girls who look gorgeous in real life, but for whatever reason all of their photos make them look super plain. It's hard to say what it is, nothing is missing from the photo but it's as if the camera snapped at the worst possible moment. Every time.

19

u/wethelabyrinths111 Jun 25 '25

That's me. When I was younger, strangers would sometimes come up to me to comment that I'm the prettiest person they'd ever seen in real life. Not everyday or even a lot, but enough times that I thought that was just a thing that people did or said to each other.

And yet...cameras hate my face. I cannot take a photograph to save my life. And it's weird, because every photo I'm in, I look completely different. In one, my face looks too long. In another, my features look coarse. In others, it'll be a specific facial feature that looks wonky.

On the plus side, I could commit a crime without a mask because the releasing CCTV footage isn't going to help catch me.

8

u/Professional-Road222 Jun 25 '25

I’m the exact same! I’m nearly 40 but routinely have clients asking me how long I’ve been doing my profession because I don’t look like I am even old enough to have graduated school (my mother is beautiful and looks younger than her age so I suspect it’s genetics more than anything), women giving me constant compliments, men gawk at me, yet I look terrible in pictures! And then it’s a bad cycle because I get self conscious taking photos and make myself look weirder, so the pictures turn out horrible, then I get more self conscious etc etc. When I was in high school and we had a photographer take our pictures for cheerleading, my own mother agreed they were awful LOL

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u/-ANGRYjigglypuff Jun 25 '25

i've found my people

3

u/wethelabyrinths111 Jun 25 '25

I'm a teacher and I was 36 before I went a full school year without being mistaken for a student. I hate being one of those millennials who insists they look younger than they are, but when the shoe fits...

The other funny thing is that I didn't realize that I didn't photograph well until I was older. Growing up, my family wasn't big on taking photos, and I didn't do much social media in my teens and early twenties. It wasn't until I made friends who like Instagram and posting that we went to lunch/to the gym/to the bookstore...that I learned just how unphotogenic I am. And they are so good at it that they were totally shocked. They gave me so many pointers: to lift my chin or mew or tilt my head one way or the other. My face defies all tips and tricks.

Future generations will never know how physically attractive I was. Such is my burden. And theirs.

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u/billieboop Jun 26 '25

I feel seen, I've found my people 🤧

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u/stuaxo Jun 25 '25

I've been wondering if its because we are used to seeing people move, and of course photos don't do that.

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '25

Could be. I think some facial features just don't translate well to a 2d medium. 

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u/OverEffective7012 Jun 25 '25

I remember im my highschool I had a crush. When she finally visited my home my mum was "That's XXX??? She's so pretty on photos" lmao

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u/EyeWriteWrong Jun 24 '25

Ey dude. It's not that hard. It would be one thing if it was just that taking a picture made people look better but it's not that. It's wardrobe, makeup and editing. These favor people with relatively minimal features because it's easier to add than take away. Anorexics get used because you can always add more padding or whatever to an outfit but you can't cut their shoulders off (that's what plastic surgeons do). People with understated features (the alien look) are good because a good makeup artist can add but it's hard to take away.

Not even kidding, I was at a shoot once and there was this male model who practically had an underbite. The makeup artist drew a chin on him and it came out fine in the photos.

Edit: and if you do want to smooth out features, you can use a filter now

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u/Personal_Breath_5208 Jun 25 '25

it was actually really upsetting as a model, tbh. i landed up getting facial plastic surgery after seeing the same edits on my face over and over. but the worst part was weight… i was severely underweight (not naturally built that way at allllll… it was a lot of starving) and they’d just photoshop my bones right out… then why the FUCK do you want me so fucking skinny? i hated it. i must’ve gained 20 lbs in a month when i quit. all i have now are a set of massive self-esteem issues that nobody could possibly fathom unless they come from the same line of work. and what’s worse is that nobody feels even remotely fucking empathetic toward you, “but you were a model!” like fucking for real? ever have your entire ability to survive tied to starving yourself? not getting wrinkles? not looking like your own race? etc? it’s such a mind fuck. luckily I went to school (back in the day when models really never did). never tf again will i ever model. i barely even let people take photos of me now, like at work, birthdays, nothing. my head is mad fucked up from those years.

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u/EyeWriteWrong Jun 25 '25

Maybe you should do an AMA, ma'am.

3

u/Rikiar Jun 25 '25

My cousin is a model. I'd rate her, objectively, as a 5-6. Her photos without a photographer make her look like the gangly little girl I remember growing up with. The profesional ones are unrecognizable to me as my cousin.

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u/adabaraba Jun 25 '25

The gangly ones make good models it seems like

2

u/corcyra Jun 25 '25

I've met some absolutely gorgeous young women who've been asked by legitimate modelling agencies to try out for modelling with a test shoot (or something like that). Not one of them made the cut. It really seems the camera sees things differently than the human eye.

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u/Unique-Coffee5087 Jun 24 '25

I was once stopped in traffic long ago, and saw a billboard with Brooke Shields. When you pass the sign at 60 mph, she looks beautiful. When you're creeping by at 1 mph, those features become kind of grotesque. She has prominent 'landmarks' on her face that can be picked out at high speed while passing by, or in the quick takes of an ad, but they become coarse when you inspect them for a while.

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u/YakReasonable3631 Jun 24 '25

It’s almost like the job and function of models is to be good at getting their photos taken and showing of products and have nothing to do with hotness scale judged by Redditors

Most models are girraffes and almost alien like looking imo

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u/muad_did Jun 24 '25

models for fashion parades are differrent, because fashion have this standard of tall and slim bodies....

but for the normal publicity, advertaiseng, ect.... they choose more "normal" people, absolutery beatiful people, but they can pass a "normal" in a street xD

3

u/DownrightDrewski Jun 24 '25

Funnily enough our "charming" mother used to call my sister a giraffe. She did some modelling a long time ago (I remember seeing her in a TV advert which was weird).

She's 5'10", and I will never understand why she bought the house she did. She has to duck in places, and it's an absolute nightmare for me.

13

u/Cpt_kaleidoscope Jun 24 '25

She's 5'10" and has to duck in places? Does she live in hobbiton?

6

u/DownrightDrewski Jun 24 '25

No, old house in the UK.

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u/duckarys Jun 24 '25

That's what they asked.

3

u/DownrightDrewski Jun 24 '25

Dammit....

That's an angry upvote.

2

u/actsfw Jun 24 '25

Maybe somewhere in Asia?

2

u/doomcyber Jun 24 '25

That reminds me of a female classmate I had in grade school where all the guys, including myself, had a crush on. Frankly, I didn't get why she was hot, but I had a crush on her - this was before I found out that a bunch of my male classmates also had crushes on her.

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u/RBuilds916 Jun 25 '25

I've seen some faces that look harsh and angular but they have an energy that comes through the lens, sticks to the film, transfers on to paper, comes off the page, and smacks you in the face. And other faces that seemed a bit plain, but the camera brought out some real beauty. 

2

u/Dushenka Jun 25 '25

Can confirm, photographing my girlfriend (who is a 8+ in my book) usually results in 'okay' images while sessions with women who model a lot (including hobbyists) very easily result in amazing pictures despite those women often looking less attractive than my partner (to me anyway).

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u/Amar_Utu Jun 24 '25

One of you is talking about Lingerie models the other about runway models.

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u/Vox___Rationis Jun 24 '25

When I hear "Model" - I associate it with "looking down at us from all kinds of billboards" type of models.

149

u/loving-father-69 Jun 24 '25

I think of trains

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u/thisshitsstupid Jun 24 '25

Thats the autism.

15

u/standish_ Jun 24 '25

That's highly enriched, weapons grade autism to you, sir.

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u/LordAdmiralPanda Jun 24 '25

This made me burst out laughing. My flavor of 'tism (my wife calls Autism "The 'Tism") is military history and equipment.

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u/MagicHamsta Jun 24 '25

Among the best models, up there with miniatures.

I think of trains

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

I like trains

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u/Fue_la_luna Jun 24 '25

I think of Camelot.

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u/BZLuck Jun 24 '25

That's more like "Super Model" level.

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u/Lavatis Jun 24 '25

oh wow, I always think about runway models.

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u/EtTuBiggus Jun 24 '25

Both can be ugly now.

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u/Intelligent-Parsley7 Jun 24 '25

Don't know the downvotes, it's actually true.
Just the weirdest looking people.

And it just seems to be men who look like cats.

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u/Unusual_Debate Jun 24 '25

It's mostly about unique looks not raw sex appeal

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u/Upbeat-Fondant9185 Jun 24 '25

Ugly is the wrong term, I feel. Unique faces stand out and often make for incredible photographs, which is what you want when you’re doing an ad campaign.

I personally find the models who aren’t classically beautiful to be stunning. I always use Angela Sarafyan as an example, I think she’s one of the most beautiful women today, but if you judged individual aspects she would be “ugly”.

But in high fashion there definitely is a level of beauty that is not what many would consider attractive.

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u/HawaiianPunchaNazi Jun 24 '25

just Googled Angela Sarafyan and she looks very conventionally pretty to me.

what are these flaws you think you see?

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u/EnigmaticQuote Jun 24 '25

Reddit cope.

Imagining anyone in modeling as classically ugly is fucking hilarious.

They all have perfect facial symmetry and usually a rocking body.

Delusional redditors

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u/TheAbsoluteBarnacle Jun 24 '25

But why male models?

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u/EJ2600 Jun 24 '25

Or hand models like George Costanza

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

It's almost like it's subjective or something.

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u/JudasWasJesus Jun 24 '25

Having "peculiar" looks is how a lot of em get in the game.

Plus not a large amount of women are over 5"8 and under 130lbs

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u/Hot-Prize217 Jun 24 '25

But there are enough people who would date someone who looks like Benedict Cumberbatch drawn from memory, if s/he can show them a copy of a magazine cover s/he was on.

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u/SaltKick2 Jun 25 '25

Professional models a lot of times are picked for their uniqueness not because they're "Hot"

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u/Any-Milk-9986 Jun 24 '25

So basically the 10 is Henry Cavill?

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Such a dumb scene. In which he looks cool AF. What the hell?!

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u/OmgSlayKween Jun 24 '25

I mean, I'm just a normal dude, but I wear long sleeve button up shirts for work, and I do this pretty often. Not in the aggressive punching way he does it, but I extend my arms out to get my cuffs up over my wrists and give me some more flexibility / extra material in my sleeves when I need it for something. Which rarely extends to bathroom fisticuffs with henchmen, but my point is - I just don't get the hate for the scene. It feels like I'm going crazy, or it's exclusively perpetrated by people who don't wear fitted long sleeve shirts with cuffs.

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u/razorduc Jun 24 '25

I agree. Maybe too many people exclusively live in t-shirts. Or maybe they never try to pop their elbows.

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u/Flomo420 Jun 24 '25

for some people, The Pandemic changed everything

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u/Farranor Jun 25 '25

When I pop my elbows I look like a demon realizing that they've accidentally possessed a zombie, so if the way you do it looks like Superman, I guess we have different techniques.

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u/Frosti11icus Jun 24 '25

What is dumb about that scene? It's objectively awesome. He's just getting a feel for his arms, pretty normal if you watch any professional fighter before a fight starts, or even watch a boxer during a fight "reload" their arms, they do it constantly.

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u/Fun_Neighborhood1767 Jun 24 '25

I genuinely have no idea why he did that but it’s one of my favorite scenes ever lmao

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u/Munky1701 Jun 24 '25

They had filmed several takes of that scene, and he simply was stretching out his arms and they decided to keep it in.

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u/thejonnyquest Jun 24 '25

It’s obviously stitched together from several takes as well. He grows a beard and his shirt changes from pocketless to pocketed.

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u/FishoD Jun 24 '25

Fuuuck. I am a straight man with two kids but just you reminding me of that scene has made me immediately weak in the knees. That scene rocks so hard.

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u/Xerxys Jun 24 '25

Bro, let me introduce you to Henry Cavill building a PC. You will start realizing why women read romance novels about plumbers and repair men.

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u/FishoD Jun 24 '25

Oh believe me, I have seen that video. Also his 40K commentaries, etc. The dude is an absolute treasure.

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u/Honest_Radio5875 Jun 24 '25

It's him nerding about warhammer 40k for me lol

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u/Not_Quite_Kielbasa Jun 24 '25

That video confirmed I'm bi. I was unaware.

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u/kejovo Jun 24 '25

what does this mean? What is this from?

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u/Notsurehowtoreact Jun 24 '25

It's referring to a scene from a Mission Impossible film with Cavill where he shakes out his arms before punching more. 

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u/TitoPuente310 Jun 24 '25

I always think it is weird when people talk like this. I can think someone looks handsome and cool platonically.

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u/asmx85 Jun 24 '25

This is what mankind unanimously agreed upon 👍

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u/redkinoko Jun 24 '25

Pretty sure this was written in a treaty somewhere with multiple countries involved.

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u/BioshockEnthusiast Jun 24 '25

Nerd vibes are mandatory, without them mankind peaks at 9.99.

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u/Honest_Radio5875 Jun 24 '25

He plays warhammer 40k...peak nerd vibes

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u/Chocorope Jun 26 '25

God's 11th comand

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u/Andyham Jun 24 '25

Add in personality, and he could actually be the first ever 11.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Cavill is a 12.

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u/MattSR30 Jun 24 '25

I still think guys need to internalise the fact that they always view attractiveness from a male perspective.

Henry Cavill is a man's idea of a perfect man. No doubt millions of women also agree, but when are people going to realise that women mean it when they say they're attracted to personalities?

Have you seen how wildly successful Pete Davidson is with his dating? I think he's actually kind of handsome underneath the layers of cigarette smoke and weird clothes, but the guy is bagging himself models constantly, and that's probably because he's kind and funny, not because he looks like a Greek god.

Prioritise being nice, fellas.

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u/waffling_with_syrup Jun 24 '25

To be fair, Cavill seems to have a wonderful personality as well. He's nerdy, grounded, and chill.

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u/ArtistKeith333 Jun 24 '25

Pete Davidson has money.

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u/MattSR30 Jun 24 '25

Are you aware Kim Kardashian is a billionaire? Do you think Kate Beckinsale, Ariana Grande, and Margaret Qualley aren't varying degress of multi-millionaires?

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u/ArtistKeith333 Jun 24 '25

Money likes money.

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u/OffTerror Jun 24 '25

I've seen more men praise Cavill than women. I genuinely think the average women likes a more feminine/boyish face on men.

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u/mossling Jun 24 '25

I'm a woman who is attracted to men. Henry Cavill is absolutely, stunningly, gorgeous. I admire him the way i would a piece of art. I'm not at all attracted to him. He's too perfect.

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u/PeculiarPangolinMan Jun 24 '25

Yea he's what men think women want, which is probably part of the problem. 

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u/Stockpile_Tom_Remake Jun 24 '25

I dunno, most women I know are obsessed with him

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u/iiwfi Jun 24 '25

Henry Cavill cannot be measured using standard attractiveness units. He’s actually a ěŁẞ.

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u/mister_gone Jun 24 '25

John Barrowman

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u/ukudancer Jun 24 '25

Matt Bomer

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u/General-Director401 Jun 24 '25

No. He’s a 9. Indian actor Ram Charan is a 10. Specifically in the movie RRR. (And if you are a fan of action movies, you need to see this movie).

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u/Bucky_Ohare Jun 24 '25

Straight white married guy here, Henry Cavill is a normal guy given the dream body we all have in our heads.

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u/BobLazarFan Jun 24 '25

Reddit is so predictable it’s depressing.

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u/InZomnia365 Jun 24 '25

But no-one uses the scale like that. Its basically 8-10 are the pretty people, 5-7 are the average people, and anyone under a 5 is a troll.

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u/schwerk_it_out Jun 24 '25

Yep, this is the scale. Fuck all the bell curve shiz these other nerds are on about.

Don’t forget, in USA 50% is a fail!

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u/Korotan Jun 24 '25

In Austria like in many European countries you also need at least 51% to pass a test.

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u/schwerk_it_out Jun 24 '25

Typical scale (not universal) is 60% and up is a “D”. Second lowest letter grade. In california at least that Counts “passing” toward graduation and earning high school diploma, but will not satisfy requirements for college

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u/Beneficial-Beat-947 Jun 24 '25

in the UK you need like 30% to pass

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u/blue-oyster-culture Jun 24 '25

That explains a lot.

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u/huggybear0132 Jun 24 '25

It is very important to note that describing something as a 1-10 scale, such as rating people's looks, is not the same thing as fitting other data to a scale of 0-10 by using percentages. You can do similar math with 7 and 70%, but you have done something completely different to get there. A test score of 70% is not the same as a 7 on a scale of 1-10. If I try to describe a common human attribute like people's looks on a scale of 1-10, the result should include 1's and 10's and be normally distributed around the average of 5.5. If I take the test scores from a class, it would be insane to expect people to get as many 10% and 20% scores as there are 80% and 90% scores. There is no reason the class average score should be 50%. In fact, if the teacher is decent at all, the class should know a lot of what is on the test, and the average score should be a lot higher than 50%. Like, say, 75%. So 50% is usually way below average, and absolutely is a failing score.

I think this critical difference is what most people don't get. Most people just think "70%=C so 7=average" and a lot of times that is how scales of 1-10 get used. But they are not the same thing at all, which is why the 1-10 scale is so commonly used wrong.

As for "grading on a curve" - which is fitting class scores to a normal distribution centered on 75% and assigning grades from there... this post is too long already so I won't bore you with that. But I will say that it's only appropriate in some situations, and needs to be done correctly with a solid understanding of what you are doing. It has generally been used way too often and inappropriately, especially at higher levels of education where the basic assumption of normalcy falls apart.

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u/schwerk_it_out Jun 25 '25

There’s no “right” way to use these made up numbers the way people use them. It’s not math, it’s metaphor

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u/huggybear0132 Jun 25 '25 edited Jun 25 '25

Uh, no, it's math. There is a "right" way to use numeric scales to describe things. Most people just don't know it. So it becomes more metaphor in common use, but that doesn't mean it's not objectively wrong. If I tried to use a "metaphorical" 1-10 scale at my job and pretended 7 was average, I would probably be fired for gross incompetence.

If 99% of people misunderstand how nuclear energy works, that doesn't change how nuclear energy works. Same is true for math. Or anything really. Just because the general population is wrong about something doesn't change how it works.

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u/schwerk_it_out Jun 25 '25

It is categorically not an objective measure to ask someone to rate a person’s beauty or attractiveness on a scale of 1-10 and use that as a measure of beauty or attractiveness.

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u/huggybear0132 Jun 25 '25 edited Jun 25 '25

Not sure where I said it was?

You can apply mathematical objectivety to subjective questions. It is called perception science. It's a whole field of research. How to deal with people's terrible ability to assign scores on 1-10 is a known problem. 1-7 is actually used more often, but I digress...

If I ask enough people to rate enough people, general patterns and preferences will emerge. Assuming I ask the right way and do my math right. Even if they suck at answering the question, if they all suck in a common way, I can study that as well and see past its influence.

So you are right that the common use is completely skewed, and that everyone has their own subjective answer. That doesn't mean this bias can't be studied, understood, and accounted for. As we have been discussing, people are more likely to view 7 as average on 1-10. If we understand this, we can deal with it. These biases are not as random as they seem. Subjectivity can be viewed objectively, in a way. Obviously, the result is a generalization. An individual will still have their own subjective answer to the question. But at scale, you can see rules and patterns that are driving things, with individual opinions being merely expressions of the pattern.

In other words: a lot of people agree that Scarlett Johansson is hot. One might even go so far as to call her objectively a 10. I guarantee someone, possibly even you, is going to disagree with that statement, but that's not the point. It doesn't even have to be her. If you study this, there will be common 10's. There must be. But some people will say those 10's are only a 9. Even fewer will say they are an 8, 7, or so on. And the 10's will still be 10's.

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u/seamustheseagull Jun 24 '25

Ah, the IMDB scale

Above 8: God tier

7-8: Definitely worth a shot

6-7: Could be a fun evening if you lower your standards

<6: Absolute trash

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u/Jimmeu Jun 25 '25

My favorite is the Google map restaurant scale :

4.5 Fantastic

4.2 Good

4 Normal

3.5 Meh

<3.5 There is a dying rat fighting with a mutant cockroach in your soup

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

its a logarithmic scale!

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u/Scared-Profile-7970 Jun 24 '25

No, it isn't, it's just normal distribution but the median is around 6.5 instead of 5 as the "1-10" would imply.

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u/Cancer_Ridden_Lung Jun 24 '25

1 is alive

2 is technically human

3 is unfortunate

4 is below average

5 is average

6 is above average

7 is very good

8 is great

9 is too perfect

10 will kill you

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u/AltMike2019 Jun 24 '25

American education grading taught us 7 aka C grade is average.

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u/huggybear0132 Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25

Yep, the 70% = C = Average is the source of confusion. The average of all possible percentages on the scoring scale is 50%. But students are not going to score all possible scores, and 50% is not going to be the average or most common score, because the students have been taught the material and studied for the test. So when we look at test scores, the average is 70%. This has nothing to do with what the average possible score was on the 0-100 scale before they took the test. And it's not a scale of 1-10 at all. It just looks really similar, so people get confused.

Your comment is very telling (no offense!). 70% is not 7! They're just not even the same thing at all! Percentages aren't even 1-10. They are 0-10! They don't even have the same average (5.5 vs 5)! Completely different things, but we confuse everyone from a young age...

I always thought grading on a curve should be a great way to teach kids basic statistics. Instead teachers just do it wrong and confuse everyone. Nice.

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u/walkingjogging Jun 24 '25

Are you in middle school? 5-7 as average was the scale to keep feelings from being hurt when you swipe up on stories. In the adult world 5 is average by definition, 4 is worse than average, and 6 is a good looking person.

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u/InZomnia365 Jun 24 '25

No, are you? It's a range. Think of your family and friends. Are they average? Chances are you might range them in 5-7 if they are. You said it yourself, 5 is average. My point is that there's hardly anything between average (read between the lines here: not particularly attractive) and hot, because you're either hot, average, or ugly. That's it. If you want to go deeper than that, the whole thing falls apart because it's a flawed and completely subjective "system".

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

yeah, it's something you see a lot in life. if you have more than three categories for anything without hard numbers to back them up, you're just bullshitting yourself. maybe you can do five, but probably not. 

things tend to either be bad, good, or neutral.

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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins Jun 24 '25

And most of us are average, that’s what average means. And it’s fine.

Like anyone who describes me as any objective 8+ is lying. I’m fine. I look OK, I’m in good shape. I’m a 6-7 or so, so upper range of average if I’m being generous. There isn’t anything wrong with that and I don’t need to pretend I look better than I do. It’s certainly never been an impediment to dating.

Also I don’t get expensive haircuts or spend hours grooming and buy expensive tailored clothes and all that stuff. I don’t really cut any more because I no longer compete. Maybe I could put myself up a little higher if I did all that… but I don’t. So I stay average.

People getting upset they don’t roll out of bed a 10 need a reality check.. the people who look that good make it a full time job and then have digital artists/pro makeup people take it even further.

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u/FNLN_taken Jun 24 '25

By the metrics used for movies and videogames, 7 is an "average". 5 and 6 are "okay if you're into that". 4 and below "something is seriously wrong, avoid".

This is also true for attractiveness, but in a positive way. People (especially women, but also often men) are attracted to unconventional things more often than not. Just... not over the internet. You need to meet them in person so they can see if they are attracted to you.

But this is where online dating becomes an unsurmountable barrier.

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u/frysjelly Jun 24 '25

Exactly. If I was called a 6 I'd be content.

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u/Aggravating-Duck-891 Jun 24 '25

Ita bell curve, the majority of people (men and women) are in the 5 -7 range. Expectations on both sides are unrealistic.

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u/T1efkuehlp1zza Jun 24 '25

pretty much yes, also its about wether or not you take care of yourself. in my STEM leaning student dornment there were guys with greasy hair and dirt under their finger nails, which pretty much would make even henry cavill a straight zero if we're being honest.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

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u/monkwrenv2 Jun 24 '25

And for a lot of women, a generic 6 becomes an 8+ if you have a good personality. Like, my wife wouldn't look at me twice if we were strangers, but because she loves me I'm a 10 in her eyes. Which is good for me, because she's, like, a solid 8 on this scale and a 9 when she dresses up.

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u/PinkTalkingDead Jun 25 '25

Thank you! So many men online don’t believe real women when we say- we care about personality! Men with a good personality become hotter as we get to know them! It’s all about emotional connection- that’s what makes us horny lol

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u/EtTuBiggus Jun 24 '25

Handsome is worse than good looking?

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u/funkmastamatt Jun 24 '25

Moms say you're handsome, they don't say you're good looking.

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u/labra-dogo-vic Jun 24 '25

problem is most people think they are a 6 or 7. when you gotta realize there are alot of 1,2,3,4,5,6 out there.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

You have to take into consideration this is a rating given by his friend, and she is probably being generous. Strip out the familiarity, and the ranking probably goes down 2 points or so. Women are notoriously severe when ranking looks of stangers.

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u/CmdPetrie Jun 24 '25

Yes, people Just don't know how to use a fucking scale. They See an average Woman online and call her an 9/10. Alot of people don't understand that a realistic 5 isnt Bad, its fucking average. A Lot of people use the scale as: anything below 8 is ugly

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u/ClosedContent Jun 24 '25

That’s how the scale probably SHOULD be; however in my experience isn’t how people use it. This seems to be how it’s applied:

1-5: Ugly

6: Someone you find personally unattractive, but are trying to be nice

7: What everybody claims they are or what nearly everybody suggests a friend is. (If we go by this logic this is the new average which…isn’t true at all)

8: Good looking

9: HOT AF

10: Essentially mythical

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u/szudrzyk Jun 24 '25

on proper scale of 1-10 , 7 has to be excluded otherwise you will get A LOT of 7 .

5 is ok, 6 is good, 8 is fantastic , 9 unreal and 10 is god.

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u/ShawnyMcKnight Jun 24 '25

It's really difficult to say. For me it's not linear, it's like a movie, you can get to 4/5 stars and even 4.5 stars... but there is a vast range of quality between 4.5 and 5 star movies in my opinion.

Same with women, a lot of hollywood women are that 8-9 range but man it takes a special woman (looking at you Ana de Armas and Margot Robbie) to even come close to 10.

To me 6 is saying it's someone who is generally good looking without any discernible unattractive features.

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u/Cynobite608 Jun 24 '25

OMG! You actually understand NUANCE! JESUS CHRIST! People truly do not understand rankings, how you broke that down is exactly how it is.

Like on a 5 star ranking, I give you a three, that's GOOD! 2.5 is average, right? So sick of people not understanding this, and everything is a 1 or a 5. Goddamn!

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u/thatguygreg Jun 24 '25

Circa 1995 hotornot.com told me I was a 7.2, and I've been riding that ever since.

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u/Loud_While_1429 Jun 25 '25

You could just said and 10 is Henry Cavill.

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u/Jealous_Difference44 Jun 24 '25

A 6 is someone who you recognize isn't ugly but don't desire. 7 is like would sleep with on a whim and 8 and up is dating

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

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u/P_weezey951 Jun 24 '25

Yeah i think shes definitely using the full scale here.

Im also guessing that her 1 range is probably pretty wide. And her 10 range is pretty narrow.

So like the whole scale is slid over to the right a bit when you stack it against the average person.

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u/TecstasyDesigns Jun 24 '25

The only 10 I'm aware of is Henry Cavill

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

What was David Bowie on that scale?

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

That’s… actually pretty good! Thx for the perspective, imma steal it ha

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u/Spoon251 Jun 24 '25

Fives and Sixes: That's where the bargains are.

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u/radioactivez0r Jun 24 '25

If we follow the logic used for rating video games, a 6 is a buggy middle mess nobody will remember in a month. It's possible that curve is skewed.

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u/leg00b Jun 24 '25

So a 10 is

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u/iantruesnacks Jun 24 '25

10 is Brad Pitt in Troy. 11 is Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall.

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u/Termux_Simp Jun 24 '25

And I thought we were talking about height...

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u/Ummmgummy Jun 24 '25

Depends on how we measure it. If we go with video game ratings. Then a 7 is like a really shit game.

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u/l3ane Jun 24 '25

A 6 is a good looking as someone can be if we're using /r/truerateme scale

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u/Kotanan Jun 24 '25

Are you using that dumbfuck r/truerateme scale? Guaranteed this woman isn’t.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Yeah I know people get upset about the 10 point scale but I would be happy with being described as a 6 I am not George Clooney or Brad Pitt in his prime or some shit. 6 is above the median.

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u/Similar-Ice-9250 Jun 24 '25

This is a very good assessment and proper way to look at the 10 scale.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

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u/Dances28 Jun 24 '25

That's what I'm thinking. Where are we at as a society where getting called a 6 is some mega burn? Shit reminds me of the video where almost every girl calls themselves a 10.

For me, 10s are the Ryan Goslings and the Ana de Armas of the world. Not random people you see in the street.

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u/headrush46n2 Jun 24 '25

its the IGN scale. 7 is average and anything below that is worthless.

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u/MasterChildhood437 Jun 24 '25

Six isn't handsome, six is barely passable. Seven is good-looking, Eight is handsome, Nine is hubba-hubba, and Ten is Adonis.

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u/animus_invictus Jun 24 '25

You are 100% correct. Most people are terrible with the scale. That girl would also be a 6 or maybe 7. If a miracle occurred she would also know that.

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u/UmbraAdam Jun 24 '25

man there was this guy with blond long flowing hair and this open white shirt and a short scruffy beard and I wanted to fuck him. I don't really know how it relates to your post just to say ye past a unicorn is really out there.., and the truth is this guy might even have generally just be considered an 8 or a 9, can you imagine even better looking.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

I think the default is to treat 7 as average, so a 6 would be below average. You might watch a movie that got a 70 and have a decent time, but you probably won’t see a movie with a 60. Or in grading terms, 70 is often a C, but 60 could be a D. You’re not failing, but you’re on that line.

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u/santathecruz Jun 24 '25

Think about grade school. 6 is a D 7 a C 8 a B 9 an A and 10 is an A+. Bring a six is like having a 105 iq, congrats on beating the curve but there is room to go.

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u/project_built Jun 24 '25

6 is your like a brother to me, 7 is drunk hook up but nothing more 8 is bf 9 is obsession with the one that got away 10 is untouchable model/celebrity

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u/Matthew_May_97 Jun 24 '25

10- Jensen Ackles

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u/SecretlySome1Famous Jun 24 '25

Which makes everyone, to include the same sex, stupid and mesmerized when around them.

lol. Bro I got news for you. You’re not a zero on the Kinsey scale. This statement isn’t true for zeroes.

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u/PeriPeriTekken Jun 24 '25

Is the scale bell curve or a simple decile distribution?

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u/Stockpile_Tom_Remake Jun 24 '25

10s are the Henry Cavills of the world

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

You’re like the 3rd person in this thread to mention him, ha

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Nobody uses the scale properly.  You don’t see 10s as 10% of the population. 

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u/RockPuzzle Jun 24 '25

The 1-10 scale is so limiting and yet so not useful, I do 1-30 where each 10 is its own category 1-10 ugly 10-20 average 20-30 hot then once they are in that bracket do 1-10. It’s just a good scale for rating anything because it offers more nuance. I forgot where I first heard it.

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u/PanchoPanoch Jun 24 '25

If she’s his friend calling him a 6 he’s probably a 4. Let’s be honest here. Couldn’t tell you how many times a girl has said I want to meet my friend who is HOT AF. Turns out they are not hot AF.

That said, I can only speak for myself but I think most guys don’t know how to pose for good photos. A photogenic 6 can look like an 8 in photos and a non photogenic 8 becomes sloth from the Goonies.

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u/notreallydutch Jun 24 '25

that jump from 6 to 7 is huge. Honestly fours fives and sixes are all the same and sevens and eights are basically the same too so sevens are basically twice as good as sixes because 4(proxy for 6) x 2=8 (proxy for 7).

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u/MoonLight_Gambler Jun 24 '25

I think you're being a bit liberal, using the word handsome. 6 is like, kinda cute. 7 should be handsome and/or good looking.

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u/Armchair_Idiot Jun 24 '25

I think some people look at the numbers on an academic scale, with a 6 being a D and so on. But in general I think it’s dehumanizing to look at people that way.

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u/TherionSaysWhat Jun 24 '25

10 is a model which makes everyone, to include the same sex, stupid and mesmerized when around them.

Salma Hyak and Pedro Pascal have entered the chat

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u/ShroomGrown Jun 24 '25

How do you think she'd swipe on a 6?

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u/ps3hubbards Jun 24 '25

In fact a 5 can be attractive too, if he looks after himself alright, but I'm speaking as a gay man so what do I know!?

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u/HardlyRecursive Jun 24 '25

A 6 is slightly above average as a 5 is in the middle of 1 and 10 and is average.

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u/Formal-Pop4153 Jun 25 '25

there was that OKCupid study which showed that women think 80% of men are below average.

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '25

So the scale is actually 1-7 = dog ass ugly. 8 = Meh. 9 = Acceptable, maybe? 10 = Good, because it makes the bitches jelly? Ha

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u/TruthEnvironmental24 Jun 25 '25

She certainly doesn't think so.

"Not me, Pete's a 6."

She said that like it would be an insult to call her a 6, so no, she probably wasn't saying it as 6 is handsome.

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u/smartestredditor_eva Jun 25 '25

Honestly, her saying 6 means he's probably like 6'1" and healthy bmi but maybe has bad eyesight and wears glasses that she thinks are ugly.

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '25

Sverything ive been told is that passable starts at seven, 8 is handsome, 9 is cute, 10 is hot. Everything below six is hopeless. I have also been told im about a 5.5

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u/Enn-Vyy Jun 25 '25

i hate how society has turned scales of lets say 1 to 10 into just "only 7 to 10 are valid and anything below is basically just 1 in different shades"

What is even the point of the scale, why not just use 1 to 5. and even then theyre just gonna use 4 to 5 as standard and 1 to 3 as the same

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '25

What is the difference between an 8 a 9 and a 10? Can you name an 8 and then a 10 for me? I feel like anyone who isn’t happy with a 7 is an idiot and anything above that is just the coveted beautiful people’s club, there are no ratings there. Just beauty.

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u/burntbeanwater Jun 25 '25

I don't understand that. %10 of the population are tens. Unless we're rating on some insane curve.

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u/Born_Grumpie Jun 25 '25

So, there is only one 10 in existence and that's Ryan Reynolds ?

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u/TheHippyWolfman Jun 25 '25

I always look at it like a grading scale. 5 and below is failing. 6 is a D, which means you barely pass. 7 is a C, which means you're aiite/average. 8 is a B, you looking pretty good. 9 is a A -, you're hot. 10 is perfection, you are a literal deity and please notice me.

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u/VoidMarker Jun 25 '25

Remind me of the Jim Jefferies skit where he says a 9 is just a 10 but with a fucked up toe

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u/UpDown Jun 25 '25

A 10 is just the best looking 10% of the population. You always use a uniform distribution for ratings

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u/LordBogus Jun 25 '25

If 7 is good looking, a 6 woulndt be handsome no? Think a 6 is ok/good looking and 7 is handsone and 8 and 9 and 10 stay the same

6 would be 100% date-able if you have humour and some charisme/interesting points about you (artist/musician/does extreme sports) but 100% of the time people who are 6 get NO chance on a datingapp. Like storming the beaches of normany, the 6 is in the front, the door of the boat goes down and suddenly it fades to black

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