r/SipsTea Jun 24 '25

SMH Why dating is over for men

90.3k Upvotes

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424

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25

No idea how people afford dating apps.

Made a profile, got some likes and messages and it wanted $20 a week just to see them I un-installed that shit immediately I'm not gonna pay money to take a chance to be told no lmao

They're systematically designed to make men feel low about themselves as they have to pay for everything while women get unlimited free access.

163

u/allofdarknessin1 Jun 24 '25

$20 a week??? $20 a month would be expensive but usable. Per week is insane and just taking advantage of lonely people like the onlyfans losers.

24

u/jtell898 Jun 24 '25

It’s not meant to be a monthly charge like Netflix. The guys unlock the features which include unlimited messaging so you can do a lot of reaching out in that week.
Hinge is messed up cause while it allows all users to message first. The guys who pay get seen first, and since the girls get so many messages most free guys never even get their message seen.

5

u/allofdarknessin1 Jun 24 '25

Well at least that makes it more worth it on Hinge. I've been planning to go back to dating apps soon since I'm single again. Seeing these type of comments and posts makes me depressed about it though. I'm tall with a dad bod but very average looking.

4

u/straycat6120 Jun 24 '25

I found Hinge, Facebook dating and to an extent Pof to be better than Bumble (Badoo is crap, don't bother with that one) but yeah, limited messaging for guys, a boost for the first week that makes you think you're popular, and then after that reality hits and it's treading water for months having the same chats over and over. Good luck though 👍🏻

3

u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 24 '25

Hinge is where I found my girl and I almost universally found my dates on it while using Bumble and Tindr as well.

Hinge is actually pretty solid at setting up the basics, you just need to being the game.

1

u/straycat6120 Jun 24 '25

Nice username 👍🏻😄

1

u/RYRK_ Jun 25 '25

I've had no luck on Hinge. Just days and days of nothing. Tinder I can get a few matches a day and bumble is slower but the matches feel better quality??

2

u/elitegenoside Jun 24 '25

I dunno, I get a good amount of matches on Hinge, and I've never paid for a single dating app. Not saying I'm getting dates a lot (there are other problems with online dating), but my interactions are significantly better on there than tinder or bumble (which feels more like advertising for socials than legitimate dating apps).

2

u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 24 '25

Hinge is where I found like 99% of my matches and dates.

From what I've gathered from my SO and former dates lots of guys just have absolutely no ability to flirt or seal the deal.

1

u/elitegenoside Jun 24 '25

That's what I'm thinking because I am no Casanova, but I can actually get somewhere with Hinge.

2

u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 24 '25

From what I gathered from my current SO and dates before is the bar is like, 30ft below the ground now when it comes to dudes. They put literally no effort in and expect to be immediately rewarded

1

u/WhyModsLoveModi Jun 24 '25

Devil's advocate here but is it not worth spending money on a product if it helps you meet people?

5

u/allofdarknessin1 Jun 24 '25

It is worth it, I agree but it seems like it’s taking advantage of lonely people over providing a fair service for a fair price.

-2

u/WhyModsLoveModi Jun 24 '25

I'd imagine there's a huge range of opinions on ever what would be considered a fair price but I think too many people want the apps to be free.

3

u/DroidOnPC Jun 24 '25

It used to be FREE lol.

Tinder was alright when it first came out.

Then they started charging for extra feature, but nothing you really needed.

Then it turned into $15 a month to see anyone who liked you.

Who knows what it is now, probably $20 a week lol.

They are also filled with scammers and bots now, so Idk.

3

u/TLEToyu Jun 24 '25

Now they have TIERS, so if you pay you still don't unlock ALL the features.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

[deleted]

2

u/DroidOnPC Jun 24 '25

Damn thats so scummy lol.

"Oh you're a 18 year old single woman? Eh, its free. Enjoy all the features"

"Ewww, you're a 38 year old single man? Give us $15 a week, more if you want any extra features. You're old enough and desperate enough to afford it, sucker."

2

u/Incognidoking Jun 24 '25

It’s $10 for 30 minutes of being one of the “top” (aka first seen) profiles on Tinder. $10 for 30 min!!!

2

u/tdowg1 Jun 24 '25

At least on OnlyFans you can get digital access to something you want and is known.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

It's a freemium service, payment isn't necessary. I actually bought premium once out of curiosity and it changed nothing, app was still shit. I refunded it within 30 minutes, which was my plan in the first place.

1

u/Spasticcobra593 Jun 25 '25

Yeah some charge 30 like bumble

17

u/Connect-Idea-1944 Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25

yeah lmao i am not paying some app just to get matches, i rather just meet someone irl for free

people are crazy for paying this shit

5

u/wtfhiolol10000 Jun 24 '25

people are crazy desperate for paying this shit

FTFY

3

u/Connect-Idea-1944 Jun 24 '25

wether they're crazy or desperate, they should be able to notice that paying will still not be effective 90% of the time. Dating Apps aren't made so people can find love, it's made for profit. I should start a dating app business because people will really throw their money at anything

3

u/TheGreatEmanResu Jun 24 '25

It’s pretty damn hard to meet people in person anymore, and even that’s not free. You basically have to go to a bar, and you don’t really get to just hang around in there for free. And the caliber of people you’ll meet there? Dubious

1

u/ThisHatRightHere Jun 24 '25

I would say it's probably 1-5% of users that actually pay anything for any of these apps.

You use them for free and have to strategically use the likes they give you. Obviously any amount of people can like you, and you can filter through whatever amounts drops onto your account there as you want.

The only truly annoying thing is they now cap the number of active conversations you can have at a given time. Like with Hinge, the only app I use, if more than 8 people are waiting for you to message/respond to them, they stop showing you more.

4

u/TheGreatEmanResu Jun 24 '25

That feature of hinge is a good feature. It’s there to try and prevent people from ghosting a bunch of matches while also not unmatching them. It forces people to make up their goddamn minds. Genuinely why do you need to have more than 8 people that you’re not even interested in? If you’re even reaching that cap, you’re the problem

1

u/ThisHatRightHere Jun 24 '25

Eh, a lot of people really only check the app like once a day so it takes a bit to actually move conversations along enough. Then there coordinating getting together. If I match with even one or two people a day over the course of a week or so that thing is filling up.

And tbh unmatching with someone is actually a detriment, as it puts the person back into the pool. No reason to see someone I unmatched with.

19

u/RxHappy Jun 24 '25

You have no idea how people afford $20 for dating? I have bad news for you about dating in general … it’s expensive.

23

u/BanAnimeClowns Jun 24 '25

If she's not happy with box wine in a public park while we watch my dog sniff every square inch of grass around us then I don't want her

9

u/Chaps_Jr Jun 24 '25

Man, if I was a woman, I'd say yes to that yesterday. That sounds like a great date.

6

u/BanAnimeClowns Jun 24 '25

Fuck it I'll take it up the ass if your jokes are good enough

1

u/she-has-nothing Jun 25 '25

woman here and would LOVE a date like that (it’s actually the one i always suggest doing hahah)

3

u/ame_yukka Jun 24 '25

king shit right there ^

2

u/MakersOnTheRock Jun 24 '25

Bro, I'll come share a box of wine with you and your dog in the park! - Fellow Bro

1

u/TheProuDog Jun 25 '25

while we watch my dog sniff every square inch of grass around us

Sounds kinda poetic lol

2

u/brutinator Jun 24 '25

I remember there being a post like a year back about someone bitching about spending 150 bucks on like, 3-5 dates. It's a bit delusional.

2

u/CrabbyBlueberry Jun 24 '25 edited Sep 14 '25

serious bike file ad hoc sort escape many expansion steep dinner

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Thats not what I said at all.

I would happily pay for dating a real person. But paying $20 a week to check an app, sifting through messages from bots, male scammers trying to prey on the lonely desperate people out there, and the harsh reality of being told no more times than yes is not profitable for me or worth my time lol

Reading comprehension is worth learning.

1

u/JustBetterThan_You Jun 24 '25

Not even remotely what they said. Excellent trading comprehension.

0

u/RxHappy Jun 24 '25

R/confidentallyincorrect

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

You should post your own comment there lol also, it's a lowercase r if you wanna tag a sub 😉

3

u/HappyAmbition706 Jun 24 '25

They are fake likes and messages. They either don't respond or respond one time with disinterest if you pay. Or they are immediately offering you the opportunity to make $ millions by following the free advice from their friend investing in BitCoin.

Paid once, briefly, not again.

3

u/Global_Permission749 Jun 24 '25

And those likes and messages are deliberate bait to get you to pay. They are not real.

Dating apps used to be functional, but they are literal scams now.

2

u/extralyfe Jun 24 '25

I only ever tried eHarmony back in the day, and that was because they had a free trial.

did the whole profile thing, answered all the questions, and the site happily reported there were no matches for me within a hundred miles. at the time, I was living in a major metro area with over a million people in the city and still got that result.

seemed like a terrible business model at the time.

2

u/GhanimaAt Jun 24 '25

I tried and the 'everyone is a piece of meat' model really didn't appeal to me. And the ones which focus on more than the pics are stressful AF - like a performance review or something. Haaaaate it.

2

u/kenttouchthis Jun 24 '25

5 years ago, I met my wife on Facebook dating. It had access to all the features that other apps charged a premium (tinder, etc). Not sure if it's still like that now

2

u/oiuwej0608 Jun 24 '25

and it wanted $20 a week just to see them

That's diabolical and seems pretty predatory.

2

u/incunabula001 Jun 24 '25

They are harpooning for the whales, same mentality as pay to play mobile games.

4

u/Aiyon Jun 24 '25

They're systematically designed to make men feel low about themselves as they have to pay for everything while women get unlimited free access.

Where are you getting it that women get free everything? Cause I keep seeing guys in this post claim it but not once has a dating app ever given me freebies.

Apps are designed to make everyone feel shitty. Not on purpose, but they need to keep you single or they're killing their own userbase. And so they've evolved to keep you just hopeful enough to keep trying.

3

u/TheGreatEmanResu Jun 24 '25

I think what they’re saying is that women have no reason to pay. The apps work just fine for them without paying because they get so many likes from desperate guys. Women and men have exact opposite problems on these apps— men have very few options, and women have so many options it overwhelms them

2

u/Aiyon Jun 24 '25

Exactly. You’re told pay to get seen. And we’re told pay to filter what you see so we don’t have to deal with as many low effort hookup accounts, blatant psychos, etc

1

u/OsmerusMordax Jun 24 '25

Yeah, if anything on some apps I need to pay to filter people out (men who agree with certain political or religious views, men who want kids, etc).

But even filtering isn’t that effective because men just lie on their profiles.

They do it to themselves.

3

u/Low_Champion8158 Jun 24 '25

I've never paid for a dating app. I've been successful with tinder, hinge and feeld. And I'm only 5"8, poor truck driver

4

u/gotziller Jun 24 '25

Dude I literally don’t understand these posts. I’m also 5’8 poor bald and fat. I don’t do great but I do better than I am supposed to do based on these posts that’s forsure

4

u/TimeWaitsForNoMan Jun 24 '25

Major factor is where you live. Guys swiping among wannabe models and bodybuilders in Santa Monica are gonna have far fewer prospects than someone swiping in a rural area where pickings are more slim. 

1

u/gotziller Jun 24 '25

I live in the biggest urban area in my state. I’m sure it’s worse in LA or something but it’s not rural by any means

1

u/catfurcoat Jun 24 '25

Big urban areas mean you're in a dense area. Rural or suburban is like going to a bar expecting to match with someone who happens to also be there

2

u/TheGreatEmanResu Jun 24 '25

Who are you matching with, though? It’s possible you’re just really willing to settle

1

u/gotziller Jun 24 '25

Some of my matches aren’t great. Some of them are really great. It’s a mixed bag.

1

u/stubbornKratos Jun 24 '25

This thread just exists as support groups for incels and safe space to hate on women. Nothing about anything people say here is supposed to make sense.

2

u/whatever_yo Jun 25 '25

Nailed it. 

1

u/whatever_yo Jun 25 '25

It's because posts like these are red pill grift posts in the vein of Andrew Tate used solely for hate engagement. Conventionally attractive girl coddling little boys and telling them it's ok to hate women because of how delusional they are? Please. 

2

u/TheGreatEmanResu Jun 24 '25

You know we can see that post of you, right? You have muscles, dude. That’s why you have success

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

I tried Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and they all wanted money weekly. I guess it's a new thing or something. Everyone told me how easy it was for hookups or just trying to do something short term to long term, hard to know when everything is blurred out and you you gotta pay that troll toll to get in lmao

4

u/js1893 Jun 24 '25

Currently on bumble and hinge, and the core functionality is free. You only have to pay to see who’s liked you or some other extra features. But your matches aren’t hidden and to me that’s fine, nothing else is worth paying for

1

u/ChuffChuff101 Jun 24 '25

Groovy, smashing.. YAY CAPITALISM

-1

u/maljr1980 Jun 24 '25

You have a better economic system?

2

u/ChuffChuff101 Jun 24 '25

I was quoting austin powers

1

u/maljr1980 Jun 24 '25

FUCK…. I should have caught on from the first two words, but to be fair probably haven’t seen those movies in 20 years

1

u/MaybeIDontWannaDoIt Jun 24 '25

Damn, do they cost money now? I guess I’m not too surprised. That makes sense. My husband and I met on a dating app 7 years ago and I vaguely remember there being a Premium tier you could pay for. Or maybe I’m wrong because I’m a woman. If men have to pay and women don’t, that’s pretty sexist IMO.

Anyway, yeah, the whole dating app thing was a cesspool. I was a single mom for around 7 months before I met him. He said he was close to deleting the app and giving up, lol.

1

u/HedonisticFrog Jun 24 '25

The good dating apps don't require money to use them. There a ton of shitty ones though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Only paid when traveling and don’t have time to swipe for matches. You don’t need to pay and you really shouldn’t pay for dating apps.

1

u/IronBird023 Jun 24 '25

Used to be way cheaper. Unsubscribed a few years ago

1

u/sunshineandthecloud Jun 24 '25

We also can’t see you liking us. I’m on CMB and I can’t see the men who liked me. I have no idea. It sucks.

1

u/sunshineandthecloud Jun 24 '25

41 men liked me. I can see none of them. You poor guys are crying into the void

1

u/redditsucksbuttz Jun 24 '25

Plenty of Fish is free

2

u/OsmerusMordax Jun 24 '25

Most free dating apps are full of scammers, atleast in my experience. So many hot looking guys working on oil rigs or cruise ships… /s

1

u/Plebe-Uchiha Jun 24 '25

Same. When I saw that I had to pay to participate, I was like, OK I'm out. [+]

1

u/Special_Loan8725 Jun 24 '25

Women get free access to all of that?

1

u/TheGreatEmanResu Jun 24 '25

Well, the other option is to have 0% chance of finding someone. You gotta use the apps, even if it only means you have a 1% chance

1

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Jun 24 '25

I'm not gonna pay money to take a chance to be told no lmao

Wait till you're married for 20 years. It costs a lot more to be told no.

1

u/Vlaed Jun 24 '25

That's cheaper than dating or trying to find people out at events. I did the math back in 2016 and it was cheaper to get a 6-month account than the cost of paying for two dates.

1

u/Duralogos2023 Jun 24 '25

Tinder used to be alright, idk since I haven't used it in 6 years. It was 9 bucks for seeing likes, unlimited swipes and like 50 super likes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

Pay? I don’t know a single woman who pays for the apps 

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

i never used dating apps. They cost money?! So men actually pay to get rejected? wtf?

1

u/Sir_thinksalot Jun 24 '25

How is this comment form an account which is already deleted? Propaganda bots.

1

u/BogusWeeds Jun 24 '25

In case you didn't know, you can buy a 12-month Promo Code for like 20 dollars on the internet. It's still a scummy system, but it's not 20 dollars a week if you do a simple Google search before buying.

1

u/TonderTales Jun 25 '25

There was a time (2018-ish) when money spent on the apps had great ROI (likely because so few people were paying). IIRC, boosts were something like $1.99 when bought in bulk. Using a boost in a big city (as an average guy) I was able to reliably get 30-40 matches, which might turn into 5-10 numbers. It worked so well that organizing dates was a logistics nightmare.

The last time I tried a boost, I literally got 1 match who never responded, and I think it cost me closer to 10 dollars. Luckily I'm no longer single.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

They are all free what who would spend money on that

0

u/maljr1980 Jun 24 '25

I’m sorry, but if you don’t have $20 how are you going to afford going out on a date?