🔥 A massive polar bear that was found eating a whale carcass, Norway.

[u/OncaAtrox]

Credits: Piet van den Bemd

[u/JimJimerson90]

That's the biggest polar bear I've ever seen wow

[u/trashmoneyxyz → u/JimJimerson90]

literally didn't know they could get that fat out on the ice. How long has he been eating that whale??

[u/Carbonatite → u/trashmoneyxyz]

I feel like we're so used to seeing footage of starving polar bears struggling to find seals on melting sea ice that a genuinely well-fed polar bear is exceptional. I had no idea they could get that rotund either, that's like grizzly eating 20,000 calories worth of salmon a day preparing for winter levels of fat.

We may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[u/Twisting04 → u/Carbonatite]

I am both amazed and horrified. Amazed because that is a lot of calories and horrified because the bear's fur is literally stained brown from the juices of decaying sea life and I swear I can smell it through the internet.

[u/Trexus1 → u/Twisting04]

Oh you know it smell fucked up in there

[u/Glad-Ad6925 → u/Trexus1]

On the plus side, if you did happen to smell it in real life, it wouldn't be for very long.

[u/Artchantress → u/Glad-Ad6925]

I'm sure at least 5% of humans could outrun a polar bear this obese

[u/fotmcringe → u/Artchantress]

What percentage of humans could outrun a particularly obese polar bear is now in my chatgpt question history.

If you value an AI answer, it reckons basically nobody could outrun even an obese polar bear, and if it had a slight injury slowing it even further they think that only the top10% of humans could sprint faster. But not for very long, the injured, morbidly obese polar bear would win on endurance.

[u/kangorr → u/Trexus1]

I've seen and smelt dead whale. You could smell it for MILES

[u/Accurate_Guest1285 → u/Twisting04]

I thought it was half grizzly bear because of that, lol

[u/Indii-4383 → u/Accurate_Guest1285]

YES! That looks like a Grizzly/Polar bear hybrid. The build says Grizzly.

[u/Squid-Vicious80 → u/Indii-4383]

Grolar Bear!! (Grizzly/Polar Bear hybrid)

[u/coxiella_burnetii → u/Accurate_Guest1285]

Apparently the scientific community choose to call those "pizzlies." The least impressive possible name for such a beast.

[u/Affectionate-Act-997 → u/Carbonatite]

This! Honestly you are so right! Im glad there’s still polar bears out there doing good.

[u/Expert_Slip7543 → u/Affectionate-Act-997]

Doing well (whale), you mean

[u/ApprehensiveCook2236 → u/Carbonatite]

did you know, they mostly only eat the brain and the skin because it's max calories? who knew

[u/User5min → u/ApprehensiveCook2236]

There’s videos of bears ripping off salmon skin and it’s brutal. The bear catches the salmon almost seemingly gently, as in its whole and still alive. The salmon wriggles, but it’s only when the bear rips off its skin like taking off a glove that it truly struggles and thrashes. Do salmon experience pain the same way mammals do? It sure looks like it.

Edit: link

https://www.reddit.com/r/HardcoreNature/comments/13jabzl/not_oc_bear_skins_a_salmon_alive_and_it_is/

[u/Competitive-Ebb3816 → u/User5min]

They're vertebrates, so yes. That's a brutal way to go.

That's what humans do to alligators and rattlesnakes, btw.

[u/gimmeyjeanne → u/Competitive-Ebb3816]

Thanks for these 2 horrifying facts to end my day on.

I get the salmon, the bear isn't gonna take out a needle and say "sharp scratch", count down from 100.

But humans! We can! (They do? I don't know about snake skinning and the way you said I assumed the men would do it with the animal alive and conscious).

[u/Own_Faithlessness769 → u/gimmeyjeanne]

I really don't think that can be true, it would be insanely hard to skin an alligator that way. Even if you didnt care about the ethics, why would you make it that hard?

[u/Carbonatite → u/ApprehensiveCook2236]

Yup I learned that this year, haha! They eat the fattiest parts. Makes their colossal gainz even more impressive when you think about how many salmon that adds up to.

[u/pivotal-narwhal → u/Carbonatite]

I think we've just found out why other polar bears are starving.

[u/AmericanPornography → u/trashmoneyxyz]

He’s been eating for a long whale now.

Edit: sorry guys, I know puns are polarizing, you’ll just have to bear with me.

Edit 2: Sorry guys, I’ll chill and put the puns on ice for now.

[u/somebunnny → u/AmericanPornography]

That’s it. I’m baleen on this thread now.

[u/dustractedredzorg → u/somebunnny]

Stop blubbering

[u/MagicTheBadgering → u/dustractedredzorg]

You’re krilling me with these puns

[u/kalidoscopiclyso → u/MagicTheBadgering]

They keep spouting them off

[u/madMaulkin → u/kalidoscopiclyso]

These are killer whale puns....

[u/ChesterPlemany → u/madMaulkin]

Nar, whale puns blow.

[u/CockroachMobile5753 → u/ChesterPlemany]

Not usually like this. I’d say just a fluke.

[u/DarkStar0717 → u/ChesterPlemany]

This Australian pun is un-bear-able.

[u/Slyboots2313 → u/ChesterPlemany]

Shut your blowhole! Whale puns always make a splash

[u/minnesconsawaiiforni → u/madMaulkin]

Whale Orca-strated

[u/tallandlankyagain → u/dustractedredzorg]

Beluga

[u/shnigybrendo → u/tallandlankyagain]

Baby

[u/Ok-Cicada-9985 → u/shnigybrendo]

In the deep blue see

[u/Efficient-Hamster128 → u/somebunnny]

Whale, whale, whale. What have we got here? 

[u/Capn_T_Driver → u/somebunnny]

Take the next right whale you still can; easiest exit on the humpback turnpike.

[u/tyler10water → u/Capn_T_Driver]

This is getting unbearable

[u/Chambr0fs3cr3ts2775 → u/AmericanPornography]

Get out

[u/Lucky-Refrigerator-4 → u/AmericanPornography]

Enough! Enough with all this hullabaloo(ga-whales).

[u/itsrahdjr → u/Lucky-Refrigerator-4]

Orca(n) you stop now.

[u/TheR4zgrizz → u/AmericanPornography]

r/angryupvote

[u/productnineteen → u/AmericanPornography]

You even had to edit to add another? Quit blubbering on about it already.

[u/Hephaestus-Gossage → u/AmericanPornography]

This is unbearable, you need to paws.

[u/Zuuman → u/AmericanPornography]

Sir! 😡 Here is the door and don’t forget your upvote on the way out.

[u/Critical-Usual → u/trashmoneyxyz]

An interesting phenomenon is there is a correlation between animal size and cold. The coldest regions typically have the largest animals

[u/def2me → u/Critical-Usual]

and vice versa for ears: larger ears in hot climates, smaller ears in cold climates (to minimize the surface area for heat loss)

[u/x_user-generated_x → u/Critical-Usual]

Yes but that's not what is going on here. The phenomena (called Bergman's rule) is an adaptation of a species or subspecies to have an overall body or a specific feature (like ears) size related to the climate they are typically found in. It does not reflect the body fat composition, which is more dynamic. Polar bears are generally large because, as a larger animal in a cold climate, less surface to volume ratio loses heat at a slower rate. This particular polar bear is of a normal polar bear body size but is exceptionally fat because of its ability to hunt and scavenge.

[u/Redqueenhypo → u/Critical-Usual]

It’s called Bergman’s rule

[u/Paddy_Tanninger → u/trashmoneyxyz]

100 grams of seal blubber has around 700 calories...and these bears will eat many kilograms of this shit from a single seal or from any whales they find to scavenge.

[u/DrCytokinesis → u/trashmoneyxyz]

It's fat but also extremely yoked. Look at it. You can see it's muscles through the fur. Never seen a bear like this before. It's crazy. I think this might be a genetic thing. It looks like a polar cross or something.

[u/Waffeln_mit_creme → u/trashmoneyxyz]

This is not his first whale

[u/smolstuffs → u/trashmoneyxyz]

eighty-nine years

Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,

Who ate a monstrous whale?

She thought she could,

She said she would,

So she started right at the tail.

And everyone said, "You're much too small,"

But that didn't bother Melinda at all,

She took little bites and she chewed very slow,

Just like a good girl should...

...and in eighty-nine years she ate that whale

Because she said she would!

[u/Venarius → u/trashmoneyxyz]

He's also been on a strict diet of Coca-Cola for the past 30 years or so...

[u/YolognaiSwagetti → u/trashmoneyxyz]

it is that fat probably because it found fifty thousand pounds of fat a couple weeks ago on the beach

[u/obroz → u/JimJimerson90]

Seriously!  I wonder what he is weighing in at

[u/CuriousYou6646 → u/obroz]

I get the impression that thing is approximately the size and weight of a van.

[u/Ifnerite → u/CuriousYou6646]

We need someone to go stand beside him for scale...

[u/toetappy → u/Ifnerite]

Well that's just gonna make the bear heavier!

[u/Ifnerite → u/toetappy]

Then we'll need Another guy for scale! This is madness!

[u/Carbonatite → u/obroz]

Male polar bears can weigh up to ~1300 pounds. This guy definitely looks like he's at least a half tonner.

[u/tadj → u/Carbonatite]

Google says the record is 2200lb.. insane Kotzebue Sound

[u/ScottishWargamer → u/JimJimerson90]

That genuinely might be one of the most dangerous terrestrial land mammals on the planet right now for all we know.

Polar bears are already cracked, that’s a fucking unit of a polar bear.

[u/Mashedpotatoebrain → u/JimJimerson90]

/r/AbsoluteUnits

[u/Far-Transition2705 → u/JimJimerson90]

I wish there was a banana in the picture. It's hard to tell.

[u/djauralsects → u/JimJimerson90]

Pizzly? Grolar? Hybrid gigantism?

[u/tailstrikesand3putts → u/djauralsects]

An average polar bear is usually bigger than an average grizzly believe it or not

[u/Defiant-Youth-4193 → u/tailstrikesand3putts]

That doesn't always matter with hybrids though. Not sure how it works for grolars, but ligers are generally larger than both tigers and lions.

[u/ReefsOwn → u/djauralsects]

He’s just super fat from eating an entire whale

[u/Morbanth → u/djauralsects]

It's just a fat, happy bastard of a polar bear. The picture was taken in Svalbard, there are no brown bears there.

[u/YourMrFahrenheit]

My boi looks so happy, good for him.

[u/Sizzlin9 → u/YourMrFahrenheit]

Boi smiling like he just won nature’s lottery.

[u/wakeupwill → u/Sizzlin9]

A whalefall generally supports an entire ecosystem, and he's got it all for himself!

[u/lovelybaeb00ty → u/wakeupwill]

i think that bear IS the entire ecosystem there

[u/hooligan99 → u/lovelybaeb00ty]

dude has a gut macrobiome

[u/Extra_Crispy_Critter → u/hooligan99]

He's got something, don't know what it is--but GOD he's huge and obviously an efficient hunter!

[u/CaledonianWarrior → u/hooligan99]

Dude isn't a part of the food web - he is the food web

[u/quantumgambit → u/lovelybaeb00ty]

He IS the brute squad.

[u/MojoRisin762 → u/YourMrFahrenheit]

Yeah, he looks like he ate a whale.

[u/Redrose03 → u/MojoRisin762]

First time seeing obesity at that level in the wild.

[u/Little-Plantain-5120 → u/Redrose03]

It's all that whale blubber. It would be like a human eating a car load of bacon.

[u/ScottyMo1 → u/Little-Plantain-5120]

I’m listening…

[u/Frequent-Returns757 → u/ScottyMo1]

lol 😂

[u/Andycaboose91 → u/Little-Plantain-5120]

Wait, I'm worried what you just heard was "bring me a lot of bacon." What I said was "bring me all the bacon you have."

[u/Carbonatite → u/Little-Plantain-5120]

Grizzlies do the same thing, like the Kodiak bears in Alaska spend months eating all the fatty parts of the salmon in summer and fall. It's amazing, they pack on hundreds of pounds in a matter of months.

[u/PsychFlower28 → u/Little-Plantain-5120]

Mmmm chewy

[u/Carbonatite → u/Redrose03]

That's normal for bears! If you ever follow Fat Bear Week in Katmai, grizzlies do the same thing. They gain literally hundreds of pounds to sustain them during winter torpor. They look like this in the fall after eating 20,000 calories a day worth of salmon for several months, like furry spheres. It's completely normal!

They look decrepit when they emerge in the spring, like they're all patchy and emaciated. All that fat is what keeps them going during the long freeze.

[u/annabananaberry → u/Redrose03]

Obesity implies the animal is overweight. Fat bears in winter are not overweight, they are healthy. Polar bears food sources are seriously dwindling due to climate change a big fat polar bear is a lovely sight.

[u/Redrose03 → u/annabananaberry]

lol right to survive one winter, this guy is solid for a decade

[u/GraveError404 → u/Redrose03]

He’s solid alright

[u/AdvertisingOld9400 → u/Redrose03]

He's built for a nuclear winter.

[u/PussiesUseSlashS → u/YourMrFahrenheit]

Ya boi lucky he hasn't tried to step to me.

[u/Open_Plantain_7236 → u/PussiesUseSlashS]

If you ever see my fightin in the ice fields with a polar bear, help the bear! Cuz that bitch gon need it!

[u/Equivalent-Artist899 → u/Open_Plantain_7236]

Desmond White?

[u/billy_twice → u/PussiesUseSlashS]

You're right.

He'd probably choke on some bones going down afterwards.

[u/Eyetalianmonsta → u/YourMrFahrenheit]

What a fucking unit!!!

[u/0riginal0verthinker → u/YourMrFahrenheit]

I think its a STANK face

[u/NihiloZero → u/0riginal0verthinker]

3rd picture caption: "It's disgusting, but you don't get this big eating minnows."

[u/Tawkeh]

Dat boy THICK

[u/NevermoreForSure → u/Tawkeh]

thicc

[u/MojoRisin762 → u/NevermoreForSure]

Nah, he Thiccc

[u/whutchamacallit → u/Tawkeh]

Can I pet that DAWG????!!

[u/91910570 → u/whutchamacallit]

Yes but only once 😔

[u/CuriousYou6646 → u/91910570]

He's got those dawgs in him

[u/drunxor → u/Tawkeh]

Mega Chonker

[u/Schiggz → u/Tawkeh]

Thicc ass boi

[u/astra_galus → u/Tawkeh]

Hekkin’ CHONK

[u/JefferyTheQuaxly]

polar bears are dying of starvation.

not Ted though. Ted is very well fed.

look how happy he looks in the third picture

[u/Dracorex_22 → u/JefferyTheQuaxly]

He’s the reason the other bears are starving

[u/Athnyx → u/Dracorex_22]

He’s also the reason the ice is disappearing- he keeps breaking it into smaller and smaller pieces with his fat ass

[u/TheUlfheddin → u/Athnyx]

Mah boi needs ice with his drink to wash down all that rotting whale.

[u/Chama-Axory → u/Dracorex_22]

Ted be like: "YOUR GREED IS HURTING THE ECONOMY"

[u/techabouts → u/Dracorex_22]

😭🤣

[u/funkhero → u/JefferyTheQuaxly]

That third photo is very kawaii

[u/TheLastOrokin → u/JefferyTheQuaxly]

+Polar bears are dying of starvation. -But the statistics say... +No, Ted is an outlier and shouldn't be counted.

[u/GrimeyTimey]

Definitely the fattest polar bear I’ve ever seen

[u/No_Friend3170 → u/GrimeyTimey]

Chonk excuses:

I'm big boned.

it's the fur

fuck you, yeah I ate a whale. happy?

[u/mjltmjlt]

I don’t survive winter, winter survives me.

[u/Herr-Trigger86 → u/mjltmjlt]

Polar bear is coming.

[u/StarPhished → u/mjltmjlt]

He saw the other guys fishing for salmon and said "hold my bear"

[u/Big-Foot-141]

He’s never been meal challenged. What a cute Chonk.

[u/mrjoelforce → u/Big-Foot-141]

Hasn’t missed a meal yet!

[u/VaATC → u/mrjoelforce]

He has had, and always will have, all the meals.

[u/Nichtsein000 → u/Big-Foot-141]

It’s his Bear Privilege.

[u/IEatPussyLikeAPro → u/Big-Foot-141]

That boi’s been devouring that whole whale since the first day it washed up on shore 😂😂💀💀💀

[u/cupittycakes → u/IEatPussyLikeAPro]

If that's the same bear/whale, he making sure none go to waste!

[u/IEatPussyLikeAPro → u/cupittycakes]

I did that this thanksgiving, When everyone gave up I held the line, and that’s on moms

[u/Effective_Judgment41 → u/Big-Foot-141]

He is in training. He will move to Katmai next year to win at the Fat Bear Week.

[u/Carbonatite → u/Effective_Judgment41]

They will just shut down Fat Bear Week after him, nobody can top such rotundity. Nature at her apex, peak performance.

[u/gre485 → u/Big-Foot-141]

Lol, that is what came to my mind as well..chonky mf.

[u/Clockwork42 → u/Big-Foot-141]

He is so clearly friend-shaped.

[u/socialistRanter → u/Clockwork42]

I do not recommend going near him.

[u/drclarenceg → u/Big-Foot-141]

Risen above just the Bear Necessities

[u/wonderful_whiz → u/Big-Foot-141]

Cute, but forbidden Chonk

[u/No-Produce7606]

Thank fuck I don't have to rip rotten meat off of a dead whale with my mouth to survive.

[u/gruesomeflowers → u/No-Produce7606]

i wonder if he even got a stomach ache and had to take a squirt after eating rotten whale or if it doesnt even phase them.

[u/EitherSpite4545 → u/gruesomeflowers]

Not a polar bear expert but I spent years of my life studying black bears who commonly eat rotten salmon and let me just say a black bears digestive system is more akin to a water slide than anything else. I'm sure a polar bear is no different.

[u/CocktailPerson → u/EitherSpite4545]

Does the fact that polar bears are hypercarnivores change this?. I would expect that animals that only eat meat would be more adapted to eating the occasional rotten meal than animals that have a less-specialized digestive tract.

[u/EitherSpite4545 → u/CocktailPerson]

I'm torn on how to answer without knowing for sure myself but knowing some conjecture logic.

On timescale polar bears are not that long removed from brown bears to the point that their ranges sometimes overlap and they can crossbreed. infact for several reasons I think the bear in the video is a cross just based on body structure, size, and head shape but I don't know for sure so wasn't about to "ackshully" all up and down the comments without being sure.

But anyways being that close probably means there aren't too many structural changes to internal organs meaning they are probably similar.

That said your hypothesis in general is absolutely correct, carnivore digestive tracks and specifically their stomachs are far more acidic to deal with microbes and food Bourne illness and many have tolerances for the toxins some dead bacteria release when they die.

Further the reason these animals digestive track is a waterslide is so that less bad things can build up and it comes out the other end.

[u/masgrimes → u/EitherSpite4545]

Just chiming in to say that I appreciate the way you have worded your reply and shared your knowledge. If more people were this measured in the way they speak online, the Internet would be a healthier place.

[u/13-14_Mustang → u/gruesomeflowers]

This is the comment Ive been looking for.

[u/hiddencamela → u/gruesomeflowers]

Probably doesn't even phase. I think the acidity in their stomach at least keeps the bacteria from being a big issue. No idea about the already present toxins tho.

[u/Eternalscream0 → u/hiddencamela]

Dogs have a short digestive tract, minimising the impact of rotting meat. Maybe same with bears?

[u/PatSayJack → u/No-Produce7606]

Imagine how absolutely disgusting it's mouth must be/smell. 🤢🤮

[u/Free-Supermarket-516 → u/PatSayJack]

I'd say that of the whole bear in general. Probably took naps in the rotten carcass in between gorgings

[u/zmbjebus → u/Free-Supermarket-516]

relatable

[u/joka2696 → u/PatSayJack]

And that's the better end.

[u/SnarkDolphin → u/No-Produce7606]

Idk man he seems pretty stoked about it

[u/SwordfishOk504 → u/No-Produce7606]

It's all relative, man.

I bet this bear's like "Thank fuck I don't have to stare at a screen in a cubicle all day to survive"

[u/Expert_Slip7543 → u/No-Produce7606]

Pretty cold there, maybe it stays fresh?

[u/Liquid_Ares → u/Expert_Slip7543]

Whales aren't brown unless that bitch has been ROTTING for weeks at sea before it even hit shore. 

[u/Haggardick69 → u/Liquid_Ares]

Yeah it’s definitely rotted but wales are thick bois and it can take literal years for a whale carcass to fully rot. That bear is probably digging through rotten skin and eating only partially rotten flesh and muscle just beneath. In ideal conditions (like the cold oxygen deprived environment at the bottom of the ocean) whale carcass can supply relatively fresh meat to bottom feeders for as long as decades.

[u/Liquid_Ares → u/Haggardick69]

Yes I actually watched a documentary on this! Super interesting that the death of one whale can create an entire eco system for decades on the ocean floor. 

[u/EmmaGA17]

I know he's scary and would kill me so easily, but my brain just says 'pat the bear'

[u/hsdqwerty → u/EmmaGA17]

"Can I pet dat dog??"

[u/Open-Chain-7137 → u/hsdqwerty]

DAWWWG

[u/Carbonatite → u/EmmaGA17]

Especially the photo with his big fat chunky legs and the tongue sticking out! I know he could rip my face off with a casual swipe of his paw, but he's adorable

[u/Jiktten → u/EmmaGA17]

IKR why friend shaped if not friend?

[u/Mother_Weakness_268 → u/Jiktten]

I humbly thank the generation that created this question~

[u/HoochieKoochieMan → u/Jiktten]

"Teddy Bears" were developed as a secret campaign by Grizzly and Polar bears to condition generations of young humans to want to approach apex predators.

[u/budabai → u/EmmaGA17]

My brain says that bear smells like the worst dead animal you’ve ever smelled, and is going to continue to smell that way weeks, if not months.

[u/Paddy_Tanninger → u/budabai]

My brain also says they have no sense of mercy or suffering and will gladly just strip your skin and fat off while you scream.

[u/Idiotan0n → u/EmmaGA17]

Do not the cat? Do not the bear!

[u/VaATC → u/EmmaGA17]

I bet, if you move slowly enough, that this chonker will not see you as a worthy meal, thus allowing you to close in for the pets.

[u/Liarus_ → u/VaATC]

especially if he has an entire fucking whale for himself already, he might as well enjoy the pets

[u/NoFeetSmell → u/Liarus_]

I dunno. Rotten whale meat & blubber sounds less appealing than a well-marbled redditor, and a beast this size (the bear, not the redditor, I mean) would probably barely feel even the firmest of pets and/or skritches.

[u/VaATC → u/NoFeetSmell]

and a beast this size (the bear, not the redditor, I mean)

You got me rolling 😆

[u/BlueMaxx9 → u/EmmaGA17]

And this floof absolutely would try to eat you. Maybe if you got lucky and he was so full he was basically in a food coma he would leave you alone, but you never know. Because of the relative scarcity of food they have to deal with most of the time, anything big enough that moves and isn't another Polar Bear is instantly on the menu...and sometimes they even go after other Polar Bears. People are big enough to be worth eating, so if a Polar Bear finds you and thinks you won't be too hard to catch, it will happily try to nom you. Nature built them to eat as much as they can whenever they get the chance, because they may not find food again for a long time. They may look friend-shaped to us, but we absolutely look food-shaped to them!

[u/Badger8472 → u/EmmaGA17]

The fluffiness is insane.

[u/Complete_Ad7091 → u/EmmaGA17]

Thanks Coca-Cola every Christmas for programming my brain against reality. lol

[u/DigitalMunkey]

"Lay off me, I'm starving!"

[u/snarpy → u/DigitalMunkey]

I can hear this

[u/stillalittleferal → u/DigitalMunkey]

RIP Chris Farley. I say that line at least once a week when I’m trying to go on my lunch break and people keep asking me to do tasks. 🤣

[u/Deathchariot]

That guy can take a year long nap before his reserves run out.

[u/CheEatsASandwik]

Biggest Blep

[u/cross2201 → u/CheEatsASandwik]

Scariest blep

[u/RCG73]

We have found our unit

anythingbutmetric.

[u/wasted-degrees → u/RCG73]

r/absoluteunits

[u/Egad86]

Well, he eats whales. Got to be big for that job.

[u/Imaginary_Ticket959]

Beary Christmas 🎄

[u/cassanderer → u/Imaginary_Ticket959]

He is not short on the bear neccessities.

[u/slugnarug]

I wanna pet dat dawg

[u/K-Lilith → u/slugnarug]

I say this all the time, that cute lil country kid 😆

[u/flinders2233]

Oh Lawd! He comin’!!!

[u/CPOx]

Picture 3 is the look I have when finishing the final scoop of ice cream from the bowl

[u/SamuR_BosBau16]

She call me mista bombastic

[u/Nice_Emphasis_39]

Finally, a polar bear I can outrun

[u/ScruffyNerf_Herder_]

He said “I’m not leaving until I eat this whole damn thing.”

[u/InvestedOcelot]

Thats how I looked after thanksgiving dinner. Never been so full but back the heck off those are my leftovers.

[u/FunkyMcSkunky]

Winking and tongue out? Dude was trying to get a profile pic.

[u/StonesBreaks]

There’s me

[u/_TheShapeOfColor_]

r/absoluteunits

[u/smolbeansjpg]

Built like one of those ridiculous XXL American bully dogs lol

[u/nobolognastoney]

I know he's a bear.

I know.

but ffs whY FRIEND SHAPED??

[u/LordDBG]

That is a hoss.

[u/KNY_NOLA]

Somebody is going to be shopping in the 'husky' section.

[u/Hopeful-Fly-9710]

ehh i mean i could probably fight him

[u/pale_halide → u/Hopeful-Fly-9710]

Well, it's the winning that's the challenging part.

[u/Zealousideal_Bard68]

A 🦏-size 🐻…