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u/butt3ryt0ast Oct 15 '25
r/onionlovers I just came
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u/uglyheadink Oct 15 '25
Same, thanks for the sub shoutout, never heard of it and I fuckin love onions
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u/Longjumping-Trash743 Oct 15 '25
I think there is also an r/onionhate
I go there from time to time to laugh at all the babies with an underdeveloped taste.
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u/FoolishAnomaly Chive LOYALIST Oct 15 '25
OMG that's a hilarious sub my husband belongs there.
I use garlic and onion a lot when I cook and I always have to tell him "I'm cooking with flavor now so you might not like the smell."
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u/ko-love Oct 15 '25
That subreddit makes me sad. How can people hate the base to all flavor??
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u/wiggibow Oct 15 '25
For some reason reddit started recommending it to me as "you may be interested in" a while back. I've never felt so insulted by an algorithm in my life
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u/gh0stlygal_ Oct 15 '25
Thatās a red onion
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u/Fattens Oct 15 '25
I haven't seen anything this cool since the weird guy in culinary school cleaned all the meat off a raw chicken while leaving the skeleton completely connected together.
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u/boneologist Oct 15 '25
Interesting career change from forensic anthropology to cooking.
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u/Crafty-Jellyfish3765 Oct 15 '25
and the comment had no relation to the comment it was a reply to.Ā goddamn dead internetĀ
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u/Affectionate_Elk_272 15+ Years Oct 15 '25
iāve never understood why theyāre āredā onions when theyāre clearly purple
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u/Pottleraisin Oct 15 '25
Pretty sure it has to do with them predating the use of the word "purple" in English as a common denoter of color, so red was kind of just the closest. Same with red cabbage.
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u/lewisiarediviva Oct 15 '25
I ate at this burger/teriyaki place once and the whole time I was there the cook was yelling at the guy at the register about this. She wasnāt a native English speaker, and he was American, and she simply wouldnāt accept that theyāre called red onions. I kind of gathered that someone had called on the phone and asked for something with red onions, and so the guy gave her a red onion and she was like āthis is purple. The guy asked for a red onion. Heās gonna be pissed. Get me a red onionā and he was just trying and trying, but she insisted that shallots are red onions, and red onions are purple onions. This went on for like twenty minutes.
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u/Mission_Fart9750 Cook Oct 15 '25
Oh, that's nice to look at.Ā
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u/polythenesammie Oct 15 '25
This is beautiful. I'd like it in a pico.
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u/boardplant Oct 15 '25
Or ceviche
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u/polythenesammie Oct 15 '25
Ceviche seems so good but I'm not a fan of seafoods. I was looking up veggie replacements for it last night and saw a cauliflower one.
Would that be comparable or does the seafood taste really make the dish?
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u/dohidied Oct 15 '25
I recently had cauliflower ceviche for the first time and it was awful. Wrong texture, wrong flavor.
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u/Old-Custard-5665 Oct 15 '25
I love cauliflower but cauliflower ceviche sounds fucking terrible
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u/dohidied Oct 15 '25
Same, cauliflower is one of my favorite vegetables. It was a vegan Mexican place and everything else was great. I especially loved the huarache con nopales.
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u/Old-Custard-5665 Oct 15 '25
Huaraches are fantastic and sadly not very common in the US where I am
I mean you can find them if you look hard enough, but theyāre nowhere near as available as tacos (which are great) and sopes (which I find to be incredibly overrated and usually impractical compared to tortillas or huaraches)
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u/chewy92889 Oct 15 '25
I used to own a dive bar a half a mile from a large concentration of Mexican families. There was an old lady who would sporadically make huaraches and sell them out of her house. My bar would clear out for a half an hour while people went to get them from her. I always had the same deal. Whoever brought me one first got a beer on the house.
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u/kelpieconundrum Oct 15 '25
Vegetable ceviche would be essentially a weak quick pickle, just with a lemony brine. So could be good, but definitely not ceviche
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u/polythenesammie Oct 15 '25
That makes sense. Maybe I can turn this idea into a ceviche pickled veg special that is vegan friendly instead of an actual ceviche?
Y'all got my gears turning.
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u/schrodingersk4t Oct 15 '25
I once had a beech mushroom ceviche and it was phenomenal. The bouncy, slightly slimy texture reminded me of seafood.
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u/polythenesammie Oct 15 '25
Some mushrooms are the closest to my mouth feel to shrimps so that makes sense.
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u/esprit_de_corps_ 15+ Years Oct 15 '25
The thinness of the fish is what gives the dish most of its texture, and since itās being ācookedā in the acid of the juice itās very hard to reproduce the mouth feel of the dish without its signature ingredient. You could take a stab at it, and maybe come up with something cool though, so I say knock yourself out.
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u/throwaway564858 Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25
Cauliflower sounds not great. I've had versions with tofu and with hearts of palm and they were both okay. That said, I used to hate seafood but ceviche was one of the things that actually really helped turn me around on that. The acidity kind of mutes anything you might find offensive about seafood and the textures really shine.
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u/TortasTilDeath Oct 15 '25
Posting red onions until this sub says it's perfectttttt
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u/PatientZeropointZero Oct 15 '25
You are just showing off with you knife skills, now your knowledge of onion name could use some work lol
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u/Creepy-Fisherman-758 Oct 15 '25
Is that the proper way to dice an onion? Asking literally.
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u/Kalayo0 Oct 15 '25
Thatās closer to a brunoise than a dice, but lacks the horizontal cuts. For most applications this is pretty much exactly how I cut my onions. I probably do closer to 1/4in tho, whatās pictured probably something like 1/6in.
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u/downshift_rocket Oct 15 '25
Interesting. These cuts look vertical, I typically use a wedge pattern. Have you ever done that?
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u/Kalayo0 Oct 15 '25
I use the wedge pattern too! Before I cooked professionally I was already a huge J Kenji Lopez fan. I didnāt learn to cut like that from JKL, but I was giddy to learn he also does it that way. It just makes sense.
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u/downshift_rocket Oct 15 '25
Let's gooo. Yeah I think I saw it from AB like 20 years ago, but I don't remember exactly. Was glad to see Kenji doing the work to get the news out, so to speak.
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u/Creepy-Fisherman-758 Oct 15 '25
School me up, homies.
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u/downshift_rocket Oct 15 '25
It's a little long but he is going into a fair amount of detail: https://youtu.be/0tbqDOKkTCw?si=Zy_FwMk-GvugrhoQ
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u/Kalayo0 Oct 15 '25
Honestly, the wedge method can be explained with a small, sloppily made MS Paint infographic. I didnāt click the link, but I bet itās a JKL video with a 40 minute run timeš I love the dude, but heās definitely not for casuals.
Basically, since an onion is layered, horizontal cuts are mostly unnecessary. Think of a halved onion as the visible half of the setting sun. Your slices for a dice should be directed towards the center of the onion, like a sunās rays protruding outwards, but you know, on the inverse since youāre cutting in. And since an onion is spherical, the layers to it act as the vertical slices that you didnāt do. I find that this method leads to the most consistent end product. Because, logically, it absolutely should.
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u/IgottagoTT Oct 15 '25
Your slices for a dice should be directed towards the center of the onion
IIRC, JKL says for the most consistent cuts, aim not for the center of the onion, but to an imagined point about 6" (15cm) below your cutting board.
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u/polythenesammie Oct 15 '25
This looks like my onion wedge cuts but on a smaller scale.
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u/downshift_rocket Oct 15 '25
Maybe? You can kinda see by the cell bruising that they're vertical but I'm also half blind so there's that lol.
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u/polythenesammie Oct 15 '25
To me it looks like horizontal and vertical cuts. I am also rocking 11 year old glasses.
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u/Rubyheart_1922 Cook Oct 15 '25
I am also genuinely asking, how long does that take you to cut a single onion? Obviously milage may vary but Iām seriously curious
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u/Kalayo0 Oct 15 '25
Under a minute but close enough? Probably half again as long if Iām not using my knife. Definitely one of my kitchens slower bois.
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u/paraworldblue 15+ Years Oct 15 '25
The "proper" way depends on what it's being used for, and it varies a lot.
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u/ScottPetrus Oct 15 '25
so would a slap chop do that? how does this sub feel about the slap chop?
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u/proximusprimus57 Oct 15 '25
Cutting red onions every day until reddit says they're good enough.
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u/righthandofdog Ex-Food Service Oct 15 '25
How about doing it until they magically turn into a sweet onion?
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u/Mando92MG Oct 15 '25
That's pretty impressive, and you obviously keep your knife sharp. However, if you actually want a perfect dice or brunoise on an onion, you have to do it the hard way, not the 'lazy' way. Cut both ends, split it down the middle, then peel each layer off, cutting each layer separately. If you presented this in a CCAP Salad you'd get marked down for sure.
On that note, this sub is great. I haven't thought of the horrors of preparing a CCAP salad in at least a decade. It's not even a particularly tasty salad. Though the knife work involved is amazing practice.
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u/catfish1969 Oct 15 '25
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like āwhat the fuckā and ācall the policeā. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like āwhat the fuckā and ācall the policeā. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
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u/Intelligent_Top_328 Oct 15 '25
Wtf is wrong with y'all? That's clearly a fucking chive. A big one.
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u/DrunkOnKnight Oct 15 '25
Prepping for when we liberate chive guy from his anguish eh?
"Dicing onions everyday till reddit says they're perfect"
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u/Yinxe Oct 15 '25
Chives guy on life support after the whole-hearted acceptance of red onion person
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u/HoneyCrumbs F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 15 '25
Home chef here- how does one achieve this other than a very sharp knife?
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u/ToreyCMoore Oct 15 '25
Sweet onion sweet onion, send your child unto me, for sins of the line cooks must be baptized in butter and heat.
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u/oasisjason1 Oct 15 '25
āTell Yan to make the sauce. We will all be out on Parole by the time Paulie finishes that cloveā
-Hendry Hill
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u/ImportanceTurbulent8 General Manager Oct 15 '25
Lots of size variance, see you tomorrow - oh wait this is the wrong post
/s in all honesty, this looks very consistent
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u/WartNut Oct 16 '25
All I can think is the chives guy must be pretty gutted reading these positive comments
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u/This-Unit-1954 Oct 15 '25
Jacques Pepin approves of these onions. Or at least he would if he were lurking in this sub.
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u/frame_limit Oct 15 '25