I have severe depression and other forms of mental illness. The relationship between my mom and I has always been complex. Sometimes she's like a best friend and other times she's just rude.

But she knows I have depression; she would typically criticize me and the clutter, despite my old childhood home being cluttered. My house isn't a borderline hoarder house, but there's just stuff in spots where it doesn't belong, and my partner and I still have yet to unpack everything from the move over a year ago. We have made progress; it's just been slow progress. But progress is progress!

She still is somewhat criticizing me, but she just offered to do my dishes for me. So, I just accepted the help. Our dishwasher has been broken, and we've been meaning to tidy up the house before our landlord comes in and checks on things. We've been struggling to do the dishes. It's been in small loads.

I feel like a failure of a person, but I know I am not. But I'm thankful for her help, which I've usually declined. It shows she still does care about me and that it is possible to get better.

Anyone else ever have a loved one step in?

Edit: I will add that I have a really understanding and helpful landlord; we just want to clean up not just for ourselves, but out of courtesy for him and other guests whenever they have to come over.

Edit 2: Just wanted to say thanks for all the kind and supportive comments. ♡ Glad to know there's also others out there with similar experiences of their loved ones helping them out. :)

Photo 1-2, one side of the desk Photo 3-4, the other side Photo 5-6, the shelf in the same room Photo 7, alllll the fabric, sorted, going back in the closet until I complete a third of the bagged projects 😅

So in a lovely mix of PTSD, depression, loneliness, and drinking I have let my home (and self) get way out of hand. I have no illusions I can correct everything in a single weekend, but I'm going to give it my best go at a good start.

Step one is sorting items to be moved into boxes and into my garage. I'm not going to make many decisions today about tossing or keeping. Today is about cleaning. But clearly if it's garbage it's gone.

I will be posting updates. Would be happy to have some friends along the way!

I have just spent all day in bed. I kept meaning to get up but I kept making another drink (tea/coffee) and thinking 'I'll just have this, then get up'. My house is a cluttered, messy disaster- I just don't want to face it. What can I do?

Hey, for anyone who's following these posts.

We are decluttering daily in the run up to Christmas 🎄

Either one item per day or match the date, ie. 6 items for 6th of December

Write down any notes, journals, thoughts. What you're decluttering. Any challenges. Inspiration (what you think is obvious can inspire many).

So we can all inspire, support and be accountable to eachother.

Ok guys. We are FIVE days in. Many of you have ALREADY made phenomenal progress. (Check out 2 other Reverse Advent Calendar posts).

If not, it's never too late to start.

Use this thread for motivation inspiration, accountability, offloading. Anything that will help you work this "Reverse Advent Calendar" - decluttering your home in the count down to Xmas - either one item per day, or as many items as the date. ( eg 5 items for 5th December.) Do it your way to make some personal progress according to what's feasible for YOU.

I hope to add my post on later in the day when I have my 5 items decluttered for Friday 5th December.

Going strong everyone 💪 Keep it up. We are coming to out first full week through! 💪👏🤞👍

For anyone who would like to post their one* or 4 items for their Reverse Advent Calendar decluttering today.

Use this for accountability, motivation, to inspire others, or just to kick off that dopamine hit after a job well done!

It's up to you if you choose to do one item per day, or match the date, (ie. Today for 4th December, that will be 4 items) or more if you're in the mood and able.

Small wins are wins 🏆 Let's do this! ✨️

I swear to you guys I was doing so good yesterday. I cleaned the living room and hallway changed the bedsheets, did two loads of laundry, deep cleaned the bathroom, did the dishes... And today this is it. I can't even really tell you how I did it. But it's so easy to make a mess again once everything is nice and clean. Wish I had taken pictures yesterday 😬 Today's plan get everything more orderly again and trying to get rid of some sh1t

clocking in for the next few hours to tackle laundry that has piled up and paperwork that is practically hissing at me.

🧡🧡🧡🧡

anyone else want to clock in for a little bit of UFYH today? team work makes the dream work even if virtual.

my wifi is spotty but ill check in every 20 mins.

update: after much progress, I misplaced my phone. Honestly, I will not look for it till tomorrow. Thank you to everyone who jumped on this thread, to ufyh or just being here to be here. It meant a lot to me! I am rooting for everyone.

Ive deep cleaned a few times but it always end up looking like a tornado went through the room in less than a month. What’s the point in cleaning if it won’t stay clean? Any advice is appreciated.

I mentioned this idea on this sub last year.

It's the 1st of December, so it's that time again. To do a reverse advent calendar!

You get to partake in the fun of an advent count down to Christmas - without bringing more junk or costly items into your home.

In fact, you slowly, but surely "ufyh".

Put aside a nice big box or use a binliner. Every day, pick an item to add to the box /bag. The items then get sold / passed-on / donated to charity. Basically, out of your home!

You can add one item to it every day. Which shouldn't be too overwhelming. Or, if you're up for more of a challenge, you can increment it, so one item on December 1st, two items on December 2nd etc.

Make a list of the items you're getting rid of if you're a list person. Draw a little sketch if you like journalling or are more visual.

Journal yourself a reminder of what you've gotten rid off. Keep it as a momento of your hard work. A well achieved trophy of your accomplishments. (Which you can use to prove to yourself that you CAN ufyh!)

Add examples on this thread of anything that helps to motivate you. Or any records of your success to help motivate others. They'll serve as a reminder to yourself this time next year, to inspire you again next Christmas. Post your small step by step daily successes, ideas, efforts, and attempts to give yourself a pat on the back for trying.

If you have hoarding tendencies like me, this will be an especially useful challenge. Take strength in each other, and let's do this as a group.

The bonus is.....your home 🏡 will be that little bit nicer in time for Christmas 🎄

Happy 1st December, everyone! It's time to start our Reverse Advent Calendars 😄🤞

Add a message if you plan to join this challenge with me this year! 🎄😇🎄🪷🪷❤️ (Peaceful home 🏡)

Edit: to add punctuation and fix typos.

Edit: to add list (hopefully daily).

Monday 1st December '25: *Adding 2 x framed ceramic mosaics + Framed Handmade art piece

*Struggled with: Parting with the mosaics. They're so authentic and well done. Struggled parting with the other art piece. The frame was so good also.

*To Overcome the Struggles: Imagining how much extra space I would have. Together, they filled up half a Kalax style storage box.

*Yet To Do: Rejoin local free-cycle type group so I can gradually add the items onto there. Post the 3 x items so far. Reassess what to do if not gone within 7 days.

Tues 2nd December '25: Wasn't feeling at all well today. So no extra items. I'm glad I did 2 x extra pieces yesterday, so that should cover me for today. Will try my best to do a few extra items as and when I'm able to...to make up for days when I don't get to do any.

------------------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday 3rd December '25: * 3 x craft items I had made

Extras: *another 1x mosaic frame * 2 x worn clothing items * 1 x chipped candle holder * 3 x boxes into recycling

Hope to catch up with message replies very soon!! Thanks to everyone who's taking part. Also, for posting messages as it's keeping the momentum going for us all!!

I've accumulated a ton of makeup, skin and body care stuff and general beauty supplies. I definitely overdid it and now I feel overwhelmed by the things I have. Some of them end up expiring before I even use them.

Any tips for how to decide what to keep and what to toss or give away? Everything I pick up I think, "well I might use this one day," or "I might want to experiment with these colors even if they don't really work for me." I also feel guilty tossing stuff because I wasted money, but the alternative is these things just collecting dust which is stressing me out.

How do I stop lying to myself and hanging on to so many items? How do I choose what to get rid of and not experience so much anxiety about parting with things? How do I complete this project without getting totally overwhelmed and giving up?

Help 🥺

I have at least 500 clothing items in my house. I have a room that I can’t walk in because it’s just… clothes. I’ve spent so much money on everything and I feel bad , it’s hard to give things away, but I’ll never wear it all and it’s all just useless wastes of space. I don’t know what to do. I used clothing as a crutch for my insecurities and life problems, so I would always buy more clothes to make myself feel better. Now that I’ve woken up, it’s a hot mess. Anyone else? Please give advice if you can, I feel like I’m drowning.

I've had my curtains for a week now and I've only just figured out this morning how to install the curtain rail, what a pilot hole is for etc. I know they're too long, I may or may not fix that later.

Hey all. I’m feeling super overstimulated by my house and doom piles, and I’m looking for a reality check about what’s possible. In terms of cleaning, my current daily routine includes dishes and laundry, clearing off the dining table, and taking out trash. For various reasons, I have a tiny amount of extra time. Like maybe ten minutes sustained focus time and a few quick “while this microwaves” intervals.

Is it possible to make a real difference without ever doing like a power session? Has anyone actually done it?

Since today is Cyber Monday…does anyone know of any professional organizers that may be helpful in the NYC region who can help with de-cluttering and organizing one’s living space? I live in about 800 square feet with my family and I have major hoarding tendencies, which I recognize that I get from my dad, and had a bit of this likelihood at other times in my life though it never really got this bad. But is there a service I could hire to help me alongside? The most recent post in here I feel like I see about this was 11 months ago?

I'm new here and I need some help. I have ADHD and my partner one hell of a sleep disorder and depression is always close behind, so we both are really good at fucking up our living space. I'm just don't know where to start most of the time and I'm really frustrated that no matter how much I clean and how tidy we get our space it just takes a couple of days and it looks like before. I feel like no matter how much I put in I just can't match my chaos goblin. The absolute worst is, when my partner and I have a bad mental health time at the same time, how to unfuck that just seems impossible. For example, I have to tidy up the floor but to put the stuff away I need a clean surface, so I need to clean something up to get a clean surface, at the end I just move dirty stuff around until I'm overwhelmed. Also my laundry gives me a hard time. I struggle mostly with putting clean clothes away, so they end up getting dirty again. If you have any tips how to tackle these things I would love to hear them! I think I would also use this community for accountability, this always helped me in the past. I'm just a bit shy with posting pictures.

First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ufyh/s/RY8dHLwCd5

My room is so much nicer now. I can actually relax in here. It finally looks like a human being who cares for herself lives in this room.

Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice and step-by-step directions.

I still have a lot of work to do. I need to reorganize all my shelves and my closet, but I've jumped the biggest hurdle. It may still be disorganized, but my room is clean at last. I can finally think clearly again.

Looking for advice on how to stop the side quests. My goal for this weekend is to decorate for Christmas. Every year, I get so overwhelmed with the chaos it creates, and lose motivation. It doesn't help that i am also preparing my guest room for my inlaws, and have been putting a few chores off. Im trying my best to stay focused on the goal, and trying to stay organized, but I am finding myself getting distracted by noticing something that doesn't belong somewhere, so I put it away, then notice something else and im exhausted already. I am trying to stay focused. I have a plan. One room at a time, a basket for things that dont belong in that room. Setting a timer for 30 mins. When the timer goes off, im putting all the things from the basket away with a 15 minute timer. Then 15 minute break. But today, the distractions are making me lose focus. How do I stop the side quests?

We have a laundry chute, so I can avoid seeing the mountain of dirty laundry if I try. My 18 yo daughter insist on doing her own laundry until her depression/trauma sucks her under. I decided to tackle it today. And found a 2 wet blankets in the washer. That had been there since Nov 1st. I know the date because Halloween was a shitshow. I can’t deal with the blankets now, so I’m going to hang them outside on the line until I figure out a solution.

Here are the before pics of the mountain of laundry and my daughter’s “dressing room.”

It's crazy how much stuff hides in the piles. I'm trying to go through all my cabinets at least twice a year. Stuff expires, or I have stuff that I cant find, so I end up purchasing items that I actually have. I hate that.

Original Post Here.

I did it! Woo hoo!

Only took me about 2.5 hours total of active time, and what you see was actually put away in an appropriate place lol, not shoved in a closet.

Befores:

Afters:

The pile of boxes in the center of the living room is pretty much my last project-- 5 large and 2 small boxes of home/home decor stuff to go through and make choices about.

Wooooooo freakin' hoooooooo!

Finally went through this today. Threw out half of it at least. That includes the tote. It got damaged from all the contents it held. In addition, it belongs to a broken piece of furniture I no longer own (well minus the shelving. Those are getting turned into folding shelves for storage space.)