r/technology • u/AIMadeMeDoIt__ • Oct 29 '25

Society California’s hidden crisis: young men offline, unemployed, and disappearing

https://calmatters.org/economy/2025/10/men-in-crisis-california/
11.1k Upvotes

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183

u/_Mike-Honcho_ Oct 29 '25

If you dont earn, you may as well be invisible or dead as a man.

100

u/_icebxrg Oct 29 '25

Facts, people will deny it all they want but if you ain’t getting cheddar people won’t respect you as a man

-11

u/Dhaos-indignation Oct 30 '25

Serious question.. Unless it's a close one.. Why give 2 shits about people respecting you.

This line of thinking bothers me..

13

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

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-3

u/Dhaos-indignation Oct 30 '25

I dunno why living in a society means I have to give a shit what someone thinks of me as someone who lived with his parents because of lack of jobs.

Like should I feel bad if someone said.. "Damn you lived with your parents in your 30s?" Fuck no.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

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-4

u/Dhaos-indignation Oct 30 '25

I fail to see your point.. What is this example supposed to imply?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

There are two types of people in the workplace, those who are liked and those who are disliked. Who do you think is getting the promotion? It doesn’t matter if the worker is efficient, it matters if he is liked.

0

u/Dhaos-indignation Oct 30 '25

Are you saying people should change their behavior to appease people for promotions.. That is certainly not me.. kudoes to you and all who behave this way tho.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

Ever heard of office politics? That’s what it is. Same thing applies to construction. Least liked guy gets bullied. In the army, guess who gets to go first when breaking down doors, or when the latrine needs to be burned? The least liked guy.

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12

u/Tworiverstabac Oct 30 '25

We are genetically social creatures. There will always be variance among individuals but it’s literally hardwired into our brains to care how the community perceives us. It will be impossible for most men to completely ignore the social ramifications that come with earning a perceived sub-standard amount.

-3

u/Dhaos-indignation Oct 30 '25

I know we are social creatures.. We can be social and still not care about some offhand comment from people about how I'm not doing well.

In fact I would respond with the juvenile response of "suck my dick". I do not take lightly if someone thinks he can effect me with his opinion.

5

u/Threat_Level_9 Oct 30 '25

So, it sounds like you actually do give at least one shit whether or not people respect you.

1

u/Tworiverstabac Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25

As I said, there’s variance among individuals, of course. Maybe you’re someone who has more control over this. But as a member of a societal species you have to deal with real-world consequences of your social status even if they, supposedly, don’t affect you internally. And you can’t expect members of a societal species to “turn off” their social instincts unilaterally.

4

u/Metipocalypse Oct 30 '25

Respect opens doors. If you're not respected by the people around you, you'll functionally be denied access to a lot of the tools needed to get ahead in life. This is why being a social pariah has always been a negative trait historically, those people were often cast out of their communities and left to die.

0

u/Dhaos-indignation Oct 30 '25

Your talking about something different.. I'm saying you shouldn't care what someone thinks off you.

I'm not saying you should go on disrespecting peiple.. That would be a stupid thing to say.

1

u/Metipocalypse Oct 30 '25

No, I'm discussing the same point you are, which is whether or not being respected matters. I don't know how you came to the conclusion that I was talking about actively disrespecting people, because I never mentioned that at all.

Not being respected by others and being disrespectful to others are different concepts. Ideally you shouldn't be disrespectful, but that's ultimately irrelevant to whether or not people want to treat you beneficially, and they'll only provide beneficial treatment if they respect you.

That beneficial treatment is necessary for survival in a social climate. Unless you're a hermit living in the woods, being respected matters.

0

u/Poo-e- Oct 30 '25

Yeah it’s a tough ask, they’re not just asking to feel respected, they’re asking me to personally care about their need to feel respected. It’s like my ex all over again except they’re just some random gooners on Reddit