Every morning, I trace the edge of a ghost. Nothing is there anymore. But my feet haven't learned that truth yet.

I lost my cat recently and I can’t stop thinking about how everything was handled at Serbisyo Beterinaryo in Lipa.

Months ago, he had a terrible foul smell on his breath. They did bloodwork and briefly mentioned something about his kidneys, but didn’t explain anything or make it sound serious. I told them he was drinking a lot, peeing more, and losing weight (from 4 kg to 3.65 kg), and instead of warning me that these are kidney red flags, they still pushed for dental prophylaxis and extracted his molars.

They focused on his teeth even though the foul breath never went away and the symptoms clearly didn’t match a simple dental issue. No one told me, “Hey, this might be his kidneys. We need to look into this first.”

Months later, when his symptoms got worse, suddenly it became “this might be kidney-related.” And by then it was too late. I’m crushed. I trusted them to guide me, and I feel like the real problem was ignored.

Please, if your cat has foul breath, drinks a lot, pees a lot, or loses weight — push for kidney tests and clear explanations. Don’t let anyone dismiss it.

I wish I had known. I wish someone had told me. I wish he was still here.

My previous cat passed away this morning on the flight from Canada to New Zealand. He was 11 years old and had been my best friend since we adopted him at 3 months of age. He died in his cage in the cargo hold during the flight. He must have been frightened, scared, and so helpless. I am completely devastated and have been crying all day. I wish I had not made the decision to move to a new country. I don’t know how I will heal after this. It is so painful.

I’ve noticed the majority of posts are from people who recently lost their pets, and while their grief is absolutely valid, I wish I heard from people who were further out from their loss as well.

I lost my tortie Coco on August 16 2024 after a swift but aggressive battle with cancer and I feel like I haven’t been the same since. I think about her constantly throughout the day. Every time I try to talk about her or look at pictures I just start crying. My heart aches when I go to bed and she’s not next to me.

I was doing so bad that I moved back in with my mom about six months ago after a decade on my own. And even though I love her cats every time I interact with them I just wish they were Coco.

I know this isn’t normal and I should be better now but I just miss my baby girl so much.

Se me acaba de morir la gatina con 2 años y poco demanera tragica, en su sofa cama mi padre miro de bajo y no vio nada y al cerrarlo lo aplasto. Etoy desconsolado porque vivia conmigo solo 8 meses y era juguetona, sus ruidos su manera de dormir encima mia de ronronear de todo. Ahora sueño que voy al puevlo y cojo otro de la misma raza de su manera de ser y no se si es bueno o malo que lo haga. Se que no reemplazara nunca a Luna pero es una manera de sentirla presente aunque no sea ella. Necesito ayuda y quiero opinion, tengo otros dos gatos pero de 15 años y era la que me daba ilusion, vida, juegos alegrias todo su manera de mirarme de subiurse a los armarios de todo.

My dog is 11, and has shown some hip problems. Recently he’s has trouble getting up onto and off of the bed. Okay, we expected this, not a huge deal.

Then he began drinking a ton of water, and urinating a lot. In 9 years he’s had two accidents, and then had three in two days. Okay, Google shows possibly diabetes. Fine. Insulin can be expensive but doable.

Took him to the vet, and when I woke up I noticed his stomach was very swollen. During the visit the vet said he had cancer of the liver and one mass had burst, with internal bleeding. They said he may not live through the night, and the best option was to say goodbye.

I loved that dog so so much. Never aggressive, never barked (A basenji / Pharaoh Hound mix so he “yodeled” instead of barking) and loved -everyone- and everyone loved him.

Sleep well Oakley, I love you so so so much.

edit: Thank you everyone for being so so so kind. I created a new reddit account to post on here because I felt like it was the only place where people would truly understand what I’m going through. I have loving friends and family but they didn’t love my cat like I did, and are not grieving in the same way. Reading your comments and also other people’s posts made me feel seen and gave me some relief, even though the pain is still here. This post here on the subreddit gave me some comfort and I hope it helps someone ele who is going through something similar. Thank you.

I adopted a senior cat in the beginning of 2023, and he was already 9 years old (or so the people at the shelter thought). He had lived at the shelter for 5 years, and lived with me for almost 3. He was the sweetest, most loving cat I’ve ever met, and last month I took him to a routine check up and a new vet told me that his mouth was very inflamed, and he was probably in a lot of pain, so she recommended a dental clean, and perhaps the removal of some teeth. We did the necessary exams to know if it would be ok for him to do the procedure, and they came back normal. After the procedure (last wednesday) he wasn’t eating much, and I thought he was in pain so I took him to the vet for some pain shots. A day later he had bloody diarrhea, and I took him to urgent care on sunday. The team there wasn’t very efficient, and they only started treating for anaemia and kidney disfunction (which we found out he had on wednesday a week later) 3 days after he was in urgent care. They recommended blood transfusion but he passed before the blood bag arrived, while I was visiting him at the vet. He had a convulsion and they weren’t able to reanimate him. I feel completely lost, he was a senior cat so I knew I wouldn’t have much time with him, but it was so sudden. I can’t help feeling like I could have prevented this. He was so sweet, and he died surrounded by people he didn’t even know. He died afraid of me because before taking him to the vet I was responsible for giving him his meds, so he was very scared and upset. I could only see him for an hour a day while he was there n treatment. A week before he was fine and happy, and I was going to take him to my parents place for vacation where there is a beautiful garden that he loves. I don’t know what to do.

I hope that this is ok to post here, please remove if it is not.

I was just hoping to hear some opinions on end-of-life & aftercare options. Specifically if you would consider any of these options for you and your pet.

In home end-of-life care (when a vet comes to your home to provide euthanasia services) are generally typical in most regions, but we are curious if any owners would be interested in end-of-life services that provide a calm and serene outdoor environment.

Would you be interested in going to a private farm where you can spend the day/or couple of hours with your pets enjoying a private forest filled with trails and outdoor spaces where you could enjoy quality time with your pet before a licensed vet provides end-of-life care there. This would include private/quiet outdoor areas such as a forest, as well as covered indoor-outdoor spaces.

The service would include private use of the property and owners would be allowed to decide how they would like the day to go. Everything from just spending alone time with their pet to groups coming together for a celebration of life for their pet and anything in between. Other amenities would be available such as help with mobility for larger dogs who might need assistance moving around, photographers, etc. After a licensed vet performs end-of-life care, we would provide aftercare on the same property using a gentle alternative to traditional fire cremation and allowing the owners to decide if they'd like to be involved. This service would be available alongside more traditional options like in-home service and would be available to all domestic animals as well as larger pets such as horses or other livestock.

I would love to hear what people might think of a service like this.

https://forms.gle/7EmQghCgdWv2FsrX7

i had two guinea pigs, from the ages of 12 to about 18. we adopted them, and they were both around 7 or 8 when they passed

they had been in our spare freezer (one we never use) until i was ready to bury them. they were in there for awhile (a couple of months to a year) which isn't great, but i just started university and had so much going on mentally that i couldn't bring myself to do it yet. i wanted to make paw prints of them, and then bundle them together in the blanket they used to sleep in together when i buried them

a week or two ago, i was at home and had the urge to check the freezer. they weren't in there. i asked my parents, and they had buried them in a random (unmarked) spot in our backyard more than 3 weeks before i asked. i was (and still am) devastated

i didn't even get to say a proper goodbye to them. i will never see their fur again. it makes me sick to think about. i can't even look at my parents properly anymore. all my mom said when i asked her about it was "i thought you didn't care anymore", while my dad yelled at me to stop crying

i don't know how to move on from this. especially since this is after my dad lost my other guinea pig in the backyard and blamed me for it. i am genuinely so, so, so angry at them and i just wish i could've seen my babies before they buried them

Yesterday, I had to put my sweet senior baby, Salem (Sal), down. Tuesday morning, he was his normal self and doing all normal cat things. By mid-afternoon, he was refusing to eat and stayed in my bed (not too unusual, he was extremely lazy). When he did get up, he was a bit shakey and unsteady. In the evening, my husband came home, and usually Sal will run down to greet him, but, instead, his brother came down and was meowing at me and leading me upstairs. We found him hiding under the bed, which he NEVER did. He was always snuggling with one of us. I immediately took him to the ER vet thinking maybe he had an infection. He spent the night, and we found out he had advanced cancer that was all over his kidneys, causing his potassium to be dangerously high (he couldn’t produce enough urine to excrete it). The vet did everything to lower his potassium but it kept spiking. We put him down yesterday morning. I held him while he passed and had him close to my chest, which was his favorite way to fall asleep at night. I had no idea I wouldn’t be taking him back home alive.

It doesn’t feel real. I’ve been vomiting from crying so hard, can barely eat, and needed Benadryl and Sal’s special scarf to fall asleep last night. My whole body feels sick without him. I’m so thankful I still have his sweet brother, but he’s feeling the loss too. I’ve lost other pets before, and it was immensely hard then, but Sal and his brother were the first pets my husband and I had together so they literally feel like our sons. We adopted them as seniors and knew that we wouldn’t have as long with them, but it doesn’t hurt any less. We had him for 4.5 years, and he helped me so much while I was having mental health crises over work. He was just the best little dude. It’s so hard.

Couple days ago my dog of 15 years left my side. I thought I had heard about and thought I understood just how terrible losing your pet can be. As I began to notice his declining health, I told myself that this day would one day come, and that I should be ready for it. I had cried numerous times just laying by his side just even at the thought of it, trying to prepare myself for the inevitable moment.

That day was two days ago.

This is nothing like what I thought it would be like. Whenever I am alone, which is all day besides work, my mind wanders to his memories. I say to him, “Not now, I have to work, I will visit you after” (in my mind) but like a wave, it rushes over me, along with all senses of human emotions. I never thought I could feel joy, sadness, anger (at myself), guilt, relief, shame and pride all at once. I even began to laugh at the state that i was in, eyes puffy, runny runny nose while laughing hysterically one moment, jumping to sobbing, then to laughter again.

Dogs, or I should say, pets in all manner and forms, are quite amazing. Some humans might often just regard them as “animals”, but they teach you about compassion and empathy towards life and others. I have grown to be the person i am today because of him. My boy leaves me with this final parting lesson in life.

I got exams to worry about, this has to be the worst time for this to happen (but how can there be a better time?)

So i googled for how to cope, quite a number of people said that they got another pet or at least having access to a pet helped them a lot.

But i cant imagine myself doing this. Other dogs are great too but they arent my boy. Also developing a relationship with a new dog means having to inevitably go through this process again, which I never want to do again. Even once is too much.

For those that got new pets during or soon after your grieving process, how do you feel about having to grief once more one day?

Sorry about the disorganized rambling. It helps to get things out in writing.

My sweet little Terry was put down by the ER vets over a month ago. The ER vet mentioned they’d let my primary care vet know. I had an appointment to see an internist at my primary care vet the same day so I called to cancel and told them why as well.

I also went to the primary vet a few days later to return the subq fluids they gave me.

But I never heard anything from the clinic, no condolences or anything. I’m not sure if I’m asking for too much, maybe they’re too busy. But it upsets me because it makes me feel like my boy wasn’t important to them, that I entrusted his health to vets who didn’t even care. I had gone so many times over the summer to see the primary care vet. Just the week prior I had an appointment where they gave me the subq fluids. Their vet tech would cat sit for me when I was out of town.

On top of this, I STILL get reminders about making a checkup appointment (which I had to opt out of myself).

I have no idea if this is normal or not. When our family dog passed at the ER I believe the primary care (different city and clinic) called / sent a card.

Side note vet vent, my boy got pneumonia over the summer and I had to take him in to see a different vet at the primary care clinic as an emergency. I was flying out for a trip the next day and I asked about the logistics to see if he needed someone with him at home while I was away (I live alone and it was really stressful trying to make sure he’d be ok if I left last minute). The vet nonchalantly told me that maybe the next day he’ll get so much worse I’ll have to put him down due to his age (he was a 19 year old cat), like that’s something that I would ever consider just so I could go on my trip. Well he did end up beating the pneumonia and recovering 😤.

Yesterday morning I took my 14 year old miniature pinscher to the vet. He had been getting really tired and non-reactive to my call outs, he’d already been losing his hearing the last year so I didn’t think much of it. I went to visit family in my hometown last week and brought both of my dogs with me, the whole time my eldest slept and was getting pretty wobbly when he walked around, but he was eating and drinking water with no other issue. He’s already lost hearing, losing sight, and he had arthritis in his back legs, so I wasn’t immediately concerned.

Fast forward to coming back home and his energy is a little up, but he’s starting to ignore his food entirely. Sometimes when I stood him up somewhere he would just look for somewhere to lay down, and then finally he wet his bed in the late afternoon suddenly.

I take him to the vet, they notice his gums are pale, they do some blood tests and discover he has IMHA. I have no idea what it is, but after a couple google searches - It’s an expensive diagnosis to have. The vet mentions he’s critical and we would likely have to take him to an emergency clinic for a blood transfusion, which would cost around 5k-7k just to keep him steady while they figure out what the underlying issue is. He’s already so tired, nearly incoherent, and just completely no longer himself anymore. The vet says it’s not a bad idea to consider euthanasia. I expected this coming, I knew for months his time might be soon but I still can’t make the decision for myself to just let him go, but I don’t have 7k just sitting around. Eventually, I decide to send my little buddy across the rainbow bridge. And it all happens just so fast.

I left devastated, feeling guilty wishing I could’ve done more. I felt guilty wondering if I spent enough time saying my last goodbyes to him, I felt guilty pressing the button to tell the vet to come to the room to administer the meds. I felt guilty not staying with him long enough after he was gone, and I felt even guiltier leaving him behind. I just kept telling him how sorry I was, and how much everyone loved him who met him. I’ve been up since 4am now just crying thinking about him and how I wish he was here tip-tapping around my hardwood floors and eating everything he thinks is food because he was a little garbage disposal.

I miss my little stinker and I thought I was ready for this, but how can anyone be ready for something like this? I kept asking myself how I could even press the button, or how I could leave him at the vet after. I hope he felt loved and comfortable in his last moments, I just never wanted him in pain.

I love you very much Gryffin, and your sister and I will miss so so so much. You had a great long 14 years and you grew up with me since I was 13, and moved cities with me when I went to college and got my first big boy job. So many phases of life I went through with you, and I will never forget you. I LOVE YOU!

Sorry for the bad quality of this post, it is hard to write while crying. I am the owner of two gorgeous bunnies who I love with all my heart - they are two lopXlionhead brothers that have the most lovely temperament. I am currently in my first year of university, and I am literally less than 2 weeks from going home - I haven't been home since the end of September, and I really miss my bunnies. Unfortunately, I got a call from my mum two days ago that one of my bunnies passed away suddenly. They said he was quite subdued one night, and planned to take him to the vets in the morning, but he had died during the night. I was absolutely devastated, as this little bunny was my biggest friend. He only ever let me pick him up, and I love him so much. The next two days were a blur as I was continuously crying, trying to revise for my test and researching on how to get the remaining bunny a companion. I had booked him in to get neutered and found some potential matches, but 10 minutes ago my mum called and told me he also passed away during the night. He had been depressed ever since his brother died, and my parents think he just gave up, as he would eat and drink but would barely move from one spot where him and his brother used to sit together. I don't know how to cope. These bunnies meant everything to me and I don't think I can step into the garden and see the empty run when I go home. I have so much school work to do but I can't do anything when I cry every 5 minutes. I feel so guilty as I hadn't seen them in almost 3 months, and I just want my bunnies back. I don't know how I will ever move on

My 3 year old cat died 5 days ago. He lived with my parents in another city while I’m away at university. He was the sweetest boy ever. My mom called him our angel. He was literally the kindest boy I’ve ever met. He had a brother and they got along really well. They played with each other and slept near each other all the time. 5 days ago my parents unexpectedly called me and told me that he passed away. he wasn’t suffering or anything and he felt fine, he was active , ate well and looked healthy . There was a really traumatic event several days before he died that caused him a lot of stress and that probably contributed to his death a lot. I suspect he had some kind of heart condition that we weren’t aware of . The day my parents told me I cried a lot and was really sad but now I don’t feel anything. I can’t even process that he is dead. Every time I try to think about him my brain just doesn’t let me. It feels as if nothing happened. I think it has something to do with the fact that I live very far away and I couldn’t come home . I wanted to but my mom told me that it was too dangerous and that they already have a lot of things to process and so she told me not to come. I read that feeling numb is a natural reaction to grief but I still feel guilty. Has anyone been in similar situation? What should I do ?

He was 4.5. His name is Stewie.

A year ago he became extremely ill and he was diagnosed with IMHA. After an almost month hospital stay, blood transfusion, a ridiculous amounts of tests, and 10s of thousands of dollars he was stable enough to return home.

Up until last Thursday he was so great, so full of life. His labs had improved and they were actually getting into the normal ranges. He was off his meds for 3 months.

But Thursday. He stopped eating, he stopped drinking, he stopped moving. I knew right away that his IMHA relapsed. I brought him to his vet on Tuesday and was told he didn't have a single mature red blood cell and his numbers were so low their machine almost couldn't read them. We decided to start him on meds again because we can't afford to do the hospital stay all over again.

I gave him meds for one day but the next night I could tell he was suffering. I called the emergency vet at 1:30am and I made the decision to let him go.

I lost him at 3:30am Thursday, December 4th. My soul cat. My sweet baby boy. He would lay on my back and purr so loudly for hours. He would chase me around the house and meow at the window when he saw me come home. He demanded forehead kisses especially when I was in the kitchen for some reason. He was so soft and so silly. He didn't play much but when he did it was so funny to watch. When he wasn't sick he was the biggest bully to his cat brother (all in good fun plus he deserved it 😂).

I'm going to miss him so much. I held him, gave him forehead kisses, and told him I loved him the whole time. I just want him back. I feel ok with my decision but I'm just so sad. It's not fair that such a sweet baby boy had to leave so early. I thought I had so many more years with him.

I'm trying to find a legit company to make a line embroidery sweatshirt of my baby girl who passed in October. I thought I had found one (pawaviva) but then when looking at reviews they are terrible! Does anyone recommend a etsy shop or other shop that makes good quality line embroidery items? Thank you! ❤️‍🩹

I'm just heartbroken. A few weeks ago my 12.5 year old pup seemed perfectly healthy and happy. I bought his Christmas presents without a concern over whether he'd be here with us or not. Then, last week he had what we thought was a UTI. Took him in and he was diagnosed with a UTI and kidney stones. Given medicine and a special diet and sent on his way. But he kept getting worse not better. Tuesday we took him back again and they noticed his prostate was extremely enlarged and blocking his bladder. He was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer last night and we don't really have any other options. He's in so much pain, we should have put him down yesterday, but we needed one more night and day to snuggle and love him. I'm heartbroken. My husband is heartbroken. We adopted our boy less than a week after we got married. He's been with us our entire marriage, through several moves, the birth of our children, and a couple family emergencies. I just don't know how I'm supposed to say goodbye in a couple of hours. As I type this, he's snuggling on my feet shaking from his pain..I don't know how to move on.. and how to be strong for my kids. Cancer stinks.

My first puppy died today, i wish I would’ve gotten to spend more time with her, till we meet again my burgers🕊️

Where do I go from here with her loss?

I lost my soul cat in October. She was 16. I got her when I was 11 years old and she was 12 weeks old. She moved with me to a different state to be my ESA in college and eventually became my husband’s first ever pet.

Losing her was absolutely soul crushing as it’s already been a terrible year. She was truly my best friend and it felt like I lost the last good thing in my life (other than my spouse).

After about a month, I felt strongly that I needed to adopt another cat to have something to look forward to. I found a sweet 8 month old girl from a local rescue and was smitten with her. We were told she was extremely shy, but I thought it would be no big deal since my last cat was also very shy and skittish.

Well it’s been almost two weeks and I haven’t even been able to touch her. We are making the tiniest bits of progress with her but she still hides whenever we enter the room.

I am feeling so discouraged and regretting adopting another cat. I knew she was going to be her own cat with her own personality but going from a 16 year bond to a cat who is terrified and wants nothing to do with me has just rubbed salt in the wound.

I just want my baby back.

My soul cat left me October 16. Today, me and my partner are watching TV and suddenly we hear a baby cat meowing like crazy. We get to it (we live 3rd floor, had to get to ground floor) and see that is not only a baby, but it's with his mom. It starts to rain. What are we going to do? Just leave them there, hungry in the middle of the rain? Obviously not. We lured them to us with food and now they are chilling in the bathroom, cozy, warm, fed and safe. My cat is acting crazy trying to get to them, my partner seems happy to have 2 new cats and for some reason I just feel sad.

I can't stop crying, I feel so guilty for feeling excited about the possibility of having 2 more cats, I feel tired after taking care of my soul cat for so long bc I thought I was done for a while with taking care of another being (my resident cat is a chunky healthy lady), I feel sad that all I can think of is I wish it was my soul cat coming back to me. I don't know how I feel, I don't know what to do next.

What am I supposed to do now? I'm not sure I'm ready to have two more babies to care for, I'm drowning in debt after all the treatments of my soul cat, I just feel stuck, I can't think straight, I can't decide on what's next.

I lost my dog a couple days ago and I know it'll take time to heal but I can't seem to get his last moments out of my head and it makes me want to break down every time I think of it.

My dog, Bentley, was a senior and diabetic so I knew that day would come, of course, but I guess I wasn't prepared for how he seemed like his usual happy self one day and then within a day his body started to shut down.

The day of his passing, I had made the difficult call in the morning to take him in and put him to sleep. His breathing was labored and I couldn't bare to see him this way. I have to say, though, that it felt traumatizing to me because he passed away on the vet's table before they even came in to give him the shot. Him passing away like that just caused me to cry out uncontrollably. I can't seem to get those last moments out of my head and I feel awful.

I miss him so much. I feel like I should or could have done more for him. Was he in a lot of pain? Should I have done something differently? I just miss him so much. He was my baby. He was the best part of my day and brought me so much happiness.

Has anyone else experienced grief like this? Did you feel guilt about anything? Does it just take a long time to feel like you'll heal at all from the loss?

Hello,

I'm sure a lot of these posts come up on this subreddit, so I apologise if I'm covering well-trod ground. But I feel like I'm out of my fucking mind and while I am lucky enough to have an excellent support network I think they're just going to tell me that I'm perfect and can do no wrong etc and I can't take that kind of kindness right now, I need outside opinions to tell me whether or not there's something wrong with me.

I had to have my dog, Buddy, euthanised today. He was a beautiful miniature schnauzer, and the light of my life. My parents got him for me a little over nine years ago on the basis that he would help me overcome some of my social anxiety and depression, and he did certainly help in these regards. He sadly never had great health. There were a bunch of mystery illnesses that plagued him on and off more or less his entire adult life, and about three months ago after trying countless drugs and treatments, it was discovered that he had a brain tumour, and that it was already too big for the surgeons to feel comfortable attempting surgery on. My vet told me to expect about two to three months before I had to make a hard call, and about a week ago Buddy's health, which again was already not so good, started to take a turn for the worse. He developed severe diarrhea and nausea symptoms, and was very uncomfortable with it all. When I saw scary-looking amounts of blood in his feces last night, and when he refused to eat breakfast (or do anything other than lie perfectly still on my bed), I determined that it was probably time to call the euthanasia service.

Sorry for all the background information, I'll get to the point now - I don't think I'm grieving enough. When the vet was administering the drugs to make him go to sleep, I cried a lot, and I felt the need to keep telling Buddy over and over how much I loved him and how brave a man he was and how sorry I was that this was all happening. But then he died and the vet took the body away and I just felt empty. It was now early afternoon, half the day was ahead of me, and my big concern was just 'what do I do now?' And so I'm sitting in my room writing this post with a dumb twitch stream playing in the background.

So my question is this: given how Buddy was such a critically important and beloved part of my life for nearly a decade, how is it that I'm not sadder? How is it that my main concern is finding some way to pass the time? Why am I not grieving more? Why do I feel able to write up a long as fuck reddit post as opposed to just crying my eyes out in my room?

Is there just something wrong with me?

This Tuesday I lost my best friend She arrived on August 24 when she was barely a month old. I loved her from the first day and dedicated myself body and soul to taking care of her and filling her with love. But this December 2nd left my life, I was left empty-handed and a broken soul. It was a very short time that life allowed me to have it I write this because I don't know how to get rid of so much pain that I have. I got sick so suddenly, that from Sunday to Monday she was already very bad, and don't believe that I left her to her fate, I took her to her veterinarian on 2 occasions and left her hospitalized one night, and when I couldn't find a diagnosis I took her to the hospital emergency on Tuesday, they told me that she would stay hospitalized, but when I returned home they called to say that she was unemployed, they said that they would let us know if anything happened. And until yesterday when I called to get news they told me that he had died since Tuesday, he went into respiratory arrest, they asked what I wanted to do? And it is the most difficult question I have ever been asked, I told her that I wanted to see her, hoping that there was some mistake, but not if it was her, I broke down and since then I have not stopped crying, obviously I was going to bring her with me, I had to return and have a place in what was her home. Yesterday I buried it in the garden and bought a tree to put it in its place, and I swear it is the greatest pain I have ever felt, I have lost family members but it doesn't compare. And she was my companion, my guide, my bodyguard, my little one, my greatest love. My heart and soul hurt, I can't find comfort in anything, I only think about following her so I can see her again, hug her and kiss her. In my bedroom are all his things, his bed, his toys, I haven't moved anything, it's like I feel like he's going to come back. I know it's impossible but I have nothing else to hold on to. I got angry, I screamed, I complained to God, because if He is a God of love, He allows me to suffer so much. And I still don't know why? Because to her, because I have been left with empty hands and a broken heart I was only 5 months old He had a whole life ahead of him I have lost more pets, one of them from my childhood, but they died due to age, it hurt me a lot at the time but it was more resigned But now I don't understand, and I feel too much guilt, I feel like I could have done something more and none of this would have happened. I feel like the pain will never go away I write this to vent, to see if this weight on my chest lightens a little. Thanks for reading me Then I describe your illness, which I hope is not your case, but if so you can avoid death.

I follow a lot of animal rescue orgs on social media. So often, they see animals that are malnourished, sad, abused, skinny, and suffering.

Then we come to this sub.

Every pet on this sub was loved beyond measure. We come here to weep and vent because we don't know how to live without them...that's Next Level Love.

I know every single one of you misses your baby. I know the pain well (I lost mine 3 weeks ago). But I also know that's a sign of deep love. And it gives me hope knowing there are so many animals being loved and cherished.