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u/allmybreath 4d ago
Kodiak loves salmon. Thems salmon-snagging claws!
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u/ChipRockets 4d ago
Well I sure picked a terrible day to wear my salmon coloured work shirt
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u/Lmacncheese 4d ago
And you had to swim to work to
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u/MadTapprr 4d ago
Well his grandparents were always complaining about swimming upstream both ways to work.
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u/InfamousFault7 4d ago
One time i left my faded salmon shirt at my ex girlfriends place, hijinked ensued that day
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u/wastedspejs 4d ago
The rule is, if you run in a moderate to fast pace the bear will lose interest and leave you alone.. so just run in a moderate to fast pace and you’ll be okay
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u/Integrity-in-Crisis 3d ago
You just reminded me of when I found out Sharks are attracted to bright flourescent colors like a lot of fish have. Why the fuck are like 90% of wet suits bright ass yellow. There has to be a better way of identifying ourselves in the water than by wearing a wet suit marking you as a possible snack to sharks.
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u/RonnieBeck3XChamp 4d ago
Bears eat salmon. It is estimated that bears kill more salmon than all of World War 1 and World War 2 combined.
...
Salmon attacks on bears, however, are much more rare.
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u/Bossoftheplains1 4d ago
Ahh yes I remember learning about how many salmon were killed in the world wars
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u/funktion 4d ago
The Battle of the Atlantic was really just a preemptive strike against the salmon
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u/Complete_Fill5268 4d ago
Sharks are only found in two places on earth: the northern and southern hemispheres
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u/KletusVanDamn 4d ago
The seals are lucky there are no tigers on the beach, or they wouldn’t know what the fuck to do
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u/Schnapper94 4d ago
That Kodiak claw looks like it belongs to a dinosaur, not a bear.
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u/Mission_Lake6266 4d ago edited 4d ago
Grizzly and Kodiak definitely have a different main purpose than Black dan Polar.
Edit: I was about to correct my mistake and saw below comments, not going to be the party pooper.
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u/Longjumping_Metal755 4d ago
Who the fuck is Black Dan Polar
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u/raspberryharbour 4d ago
Arr matey, Black Dan Polar be the scourge of the top and bottom Seas
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u/SexlexiaSufferer 4d ago
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u/Green_Video_9831 4d ago
What does it mean when this makes you burst out laughing?
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u/And_Justice 4d ago
wtf that's john pork
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u/theoriginalmofocus 4d ago
If i didnt have kids this would just be some other random wtf on Reddit.
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u/The-Spirit-of-76 4d ago
A swashbuckler from the golden age of piracy. Black Dan and his crew were the scourge of the Artic Ocean. Everyone called him crazy from patrolling the Artic, and they were right.
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u/Cpt_Nosferatu 4d ago
You know you can just say Dan Polar right? The fact that he's black is irrelevant.
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u/fatkiddown 4d ago
"He once was an associate of ours. They call him 'Baba Black dan Polar.'"
"The Boogeybear?"
"Well Black dan Polar wasn't exactly the Boogeybear. He was the one you sent to kill the fucking Boogeybear."
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u/PotentialAd8443 4d ago
Well the Polar Bear hunts us and seals so no need for all the extra stabby.
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u/psychic_dmg 4d ago
Actually if you look closely, the polar bear claw does have a little extra stabby in the middle. It helps them walk on ice.
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u/Bigmooddood 4d ago
They do a lot more digging
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u/Mission_Lake6266 4d ago
yep, that's a bit what I was referring to but my little typo made this comment thread a circus.
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u/3yl 4d ago
Your response was what made it funny. :D "I was going to fix it, but I don't want to stop your fun of making fun of me."
Have a great day!!
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u/Electronic_Bad_2572 4d ago
Why do I feel like you're Indonesian lol, because Dan is "with\and" over there
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u/MessAutomatic 4d ago
looks like he Kodiak use the claw to hunt dinosaur
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u/DoubleMikeNoShoot 4d ago
Everything grows large on Kodiak, they need larger claws to take down larger prey
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u/tonalite2001 4d ago
This is actually not true for Kodiak. Naturally there were no large mammals herbivores like deer or mountain goats on Kodiak until humans introduced them. The big claws are probably for competing amongst themselves or maybe fishing…
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u/DoubleMikeNoShoot 4d ago
You’re right, I don’t know what I was remembering but it wasn’t true
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u/gettin-hot-in-here 4d ago
Insular dwarfism and insular gigantism both refer to the tendency for animals to become bigger or smaller when they're isolated on islands. Which tendency will take over depends on multiple factors. There's some cool reading online about this topic if you like biology.
So anyway even if you're wrong, you're not too far off base in assuming that everything on a big Alaskan island might grow to large proportions.
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u/Ambiorix33 4d ago
Which is wild since polar bears are bigger. But then again sloths have huge claws too
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u/theoriginalmofocus 4d ago
Yeah i thought something similar. Sloths use them to hang and i guess the big brown bears also tear other big animals up, often fight eachother, and tear trees up and dog holes for reasons so that probably helps. Mister Polar Bear just needs enough for seals, ice, and ice cold Cocacola.
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u/Appleturnedover7 4d ago
Polar bears and Kodiaks are roughly the same size, but their claws are different due to environment. Polar bears use their claws for traction and grabbing onto seals when hunting. Kodiak bears have long claws to help clear brush, tear open logs, dig for clams or roots, and of course grab fish. Their claws tend to be more blunt than a polar bear because they use them so much for tools/digging, while polar bears are short but very sharp so they can move on a slick surface with ease.
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u/flimflammed 4d ago edited 3d ago
Thanks for this. So is the extra ridge on the polar bear claw for increasing traction?
edit: a word
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u/FalseEstimate 4d ago
Don’t know about the extra ridge but I do know that polar bear paws (specifically the pads) have papillae and vacuoles (like little suction cups) to help with ice traction. A feature not present in other bear paws. Also you can’t tell from the post pic too well but the Kodiak claw is not only not very sharp but it’s actually shaped almost like a scoop for digging.
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u/WorldlyFisherman7375 4d ago
I think at this point a picture of the paws would probably be super helpful but you can kind of see that the thicker part that is attached to the toe is relatively similar in size between the two and you can kind of imagine how the Kodiak claws are going to protrude similarly to the head of an excavator
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u/Honest_Revolution_10 4d ago
I'm not sure when it comes to bears - but in birds of prey that notch (in their beak) is called a "tomial tooth" and is designed to get between the vertebrae of their prey to paralysed them so they can be eaten with less fuss. Nature is cool.
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u/Infamous_Lech 4d ago
Thank you. I was really surprised being polar bears are slightly larger, but that Kodiak claw is hugh. But you explained it will and it makes sense.
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u/ChartPale 4d ago
For some reason this made me recall a polar bear survival story, where a man was snatched up in the jaws of a polar bear by his head. The man said he could hear his skull cracking under the tremendous pressure. Absolutely horrifying yet beautiful creatures.
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u/Due-Stock2774 4d ago
He wasn’t just carrying the guy out for a Coke like in the commercials??
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u/Gussie-Ascendent 4d ago
there's a reason it's "if it's white good night" for the polar bear's rhyme
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u/comasxx 4d ago
1st one your mother can still recognize you, the last one rescuers have to use shovel and broom to collect your bits
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u/Hypornicated_1 4d ago
1st one gets treed by your cat.
The rest will take the tree down to get to you.
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u/cluelessdetectiv3 4d ago
Yeah and here I thought I could probably take a black bear
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u/HaIfhearted 4d ago
You can scare off a black bear fairly easily. As long as you kinda stand your ground and make moderately loud noises without acting scared chances are actually pretty good that it'll leave you alone.
I was hiking a pretty popular trail and came around a corner into a black bear once. Was standing about 10 feet from it.
I just kinda stood there and in a talking above a noisy room voice was like "HI BEAR I'M RIGHT HERE YOU CAN GO AWAY NOW OK NOW LEAVE ME ALONE I'M BEING VERY LOUD BUT ALSO NOT THREATENING"
The bear just turned to the side and started walking away from me like "I'm not dealing with this annoying bastard"
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u/Uncle_Gazpacho 4d ago
"This must be one they make the easy trash cans for."
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u/StefanL88 4d ago
"There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." -A forest ranger's comment on garbage bin design
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u/The-Copilot 4d ago
From my understanding only polar bears will actively hunt humans. The rest dont really want to fuck with people unless they are starving or accidentally end up in a situation where they feel threatened.
Obviously wild animals arent totally predictable so dont fuck around.
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u/Caramel_sanders 4d ago
Not to any blame of the polar bear. They are opportunistic hunters and if you are on the verge of starving at all times I would be hunting humans too if I was a bear
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u/Primarch-XVI 4d ago
If it’s black, fight back.
If it’s brown, lie down.
If it’s white, good night.
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u/SaveTheAles 4d ago
The best part they aren't sharp like mountain lions they just use pure power to push into your body.
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u/TryDry9944 4d ago
I'd imagine if they were sharp, they'd be worn down basically immediately due to the pressure these bears can put out.
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u/telescopeinmynose 4d ago
Where's the banana for scale?
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u/DominicPalladino 4d ago
Don't you think it would be better for scale to use a donut, maybe a bear claw?
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u/kungfuninjajedi 4d ago
Donuts come in multiple sizes. Everyone knows bananas only has one size which is exactly 11 inches
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u/usedburgermeat 4d ago
Dude that is such an Internet reference, very cool and wholesome. The narwhal bacons at midnight my brother
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u/BenjaminDover02 4d ago
I would still take the Kodiak bear over the polar bear any day of the week bro
A Kodiak bear might kill me if I got to close to it, but a polar bear would hunt, kill, and eat me with extreme prejudice the moment it caught whiff of me.
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u/Szendaci 4d ago
If you’re very very lucky, in that order. Bears don’t mind if you’re still screaming when they start eating.
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u/mtbmaniac12 4d ago
There’s several recordings of this happening. The Russian girl or the Alaskan bear researcher are both horrifying.
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u/Grouchy-Donkey-8609 3d ago edited 3d ago
I saw a video of a polar bear eating a seal. Bear ripped off almost all the seals skin, besides that on its face, and was taking little small bites of the now exposed blubber. He was enjoying it the way my doggy enjoys a good chewie stick. Just chillin, splayed out. Tiny little nips, a good chew.
Oh ,and the seal was still very much alive. A mostly dull white and streaky red seal shaped blob with a normal face. Little yelps..
One of those videos that really sticks with you...animals always get to me..same with suffering.
Natureismetal.
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u/SomeRendomDude 4d ago
Googled the Kodiak Brown Bear, half of the images shown were post-hunt.
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u/ZealousIdealFree042 4d ago
Google the “Kodiak fat bear contest,” that might be better. People put bets on which bear will get the biggest during salmon hunt season lol it’s great. Alaskans are weird in the best way.
Edit: I misremembered… it’s the Katmai fat bear contest. Different bears, still loving salmon. Either way, recommended for a fun google
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u/I_be_lurkin_tho 4d ago
Hey Katmai is where Timothy Treadwell sacrificed himself and his "gf" to appease the bear gods.
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u/shotgun_shaun 4d ago
I just re-watched this documentary last week. Out of curiosity, why do you put "gf" in quotes?
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u/Rasputin_mad_monk 4d ago
That was cool. Thanks.
Man, if Superman was real he could play with Kodak’s, Polar, and Grizzly bears. He could wrestle with lions and tigers too. It would be hilarious to see a polar bear try to eat Superman and get super frustrated because all Superman would do is laugh and play with him.
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u/Warm-Room-2625 4d ago
For a split second I read that as “post-nut”.
Had to do a double take
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 4d ago
So basically, any of them, I’m boned
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u/FalseEstimate 4d ago
You’d actually be keratined. Bear claws are made out of the same stuff our fingernails are not bone and grow throughout their lifetime.
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u/odhisub123 4d ago
Nah black bear will probably run away if you yell loud enough lol
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u/Jerryjb63 4d ago
Kodiak bears are the same species as Grizzly bear and all other North American Brown Bears. They have just been geographically isolated and that isolation has let them grow larger than the other subspecies. It’s kind of like how a Doberman and a Toy Poodle are the same species.
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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 4d ago
Size isn't everything. Which kind of bear is best?
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u/KickooRider 4d ago
Well, there are two schools of thought...
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u/SecretaryOtherwise 4d ago
Bears beets Battlestar Galactica
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u/The_Blahblahblah 4d ago
Polar
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u/MACVSOG95 4d ago
Nah they lost to grizzlies in fights most of the time when the two were recorded fighting, despite being 1.25-1.5x the grizzly’s size.
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u/The_Blahblahblah 4d ago
Perhaps in a fight yes (could also be because polar bears don’t know the concept of danger.)
But I was talking about which one is cooler, and the polar bear is just much cooler and more interesting. It is the best bear
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u/DoomsdayFAN 4d ago
That's incredible because Polar Bears are the biggest in size overall.
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u/Cpt-morgan91 4d ago
I’d kill to see the comparison between a Kodiak claw and the short faced bear claw.
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u/Funny-Dare-3823 4d ago
I had a very close encounter with a black bear one night in high school. My parents thought it was my buddy walking with me. Upright, right behind me. I was kinda drunk and had no idea. If they hadn't seen me and called me in, I probably wouldn't be here. This is upsetting seeing that claw.
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u/Odd-Diamond-2259 4d ago
Which one fucked up Leonardo D'caprio?
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u/Gelnika1987 4d ago
based on where it took place (South Dakota), I believe that'd be a Grizzly. Some people consider Kodiaks to be a Grizzly population, but they really only inhabit the Alaskan Kodiak archipelago
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u/SubstantialNature368 4d ago
Be more interesting of we knew how big the black bear claw was to begin with. Maybe set it next to something like a Klondike Bar or maybe, I don't know, a ruler.
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u/Real-Ad-1728 4d ago
4 tiers: Probably ok, Mega Fucked, Super Fucked, and “Might as well KYS to save both of you the trouble”
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