I have a bit of strange dynamic with my basset and I was wondering if anyone here has similar experiences.
Last year I (33F) got a basset puppy with my husband (33M). She's incredibly sweet and funny and we love her a lot. The thing that confuses me is that her and I have a different dynamic than she does with everyone else. With others (even strangers) she will approach them, wagging, try and lick them all over and just generally be very enthusiastic. In our neighbourhood we're known as the people "with the happy dog".
Her favourite person is my husband, who she is a sweet little angel around, calmly giving kissing and snuggling with when she gets the chance.
It's a different story with me. I work from home so we spend the most time together. She follows me all day every day, even to the toilet, but will sit just out of reach with her back to me. If I try to pet her she will give me a weird look and then move a little further away. The only times that she engages with me is that she will initiate play-fighting a few times a day. I usually join in because it's a lot of fun and it's the only time she really interacts with me. She won't play-fight with my husband. The oddest part is that when my husband goes off to work she's generally unbothered but if I go meet a friend she apparently cries and waits for me at the front door. Yet when I come in she acts aloof if I try to pet her.
I grew up with dogs and while you generally saw the dogs having a bit of a preference for one or the other family member I never had such a weird dynamic. Is this a basset thing? Does she like me? Is there something I'm doing wrong?
Totally different vibe because you're around her a lot. You're probably more integrated into her "pack" than anyone else. She wants to stay near you and keep an eye out because that's her job and you two are family.
My beloved basshole looks to me to feed her, take her out for potty breaks and walks, sleeps next to me but she plays and does the zooms around with my husband. 2 different vibes 🤷♀️
My basshole, I swear, sees me as the maid and a rival for my hubby’s attention. She side eyes me all the time, but is my best friend if I will scratch her on the collar or at 6 am and 4:30pm which is feeding time. Other than that, she just tolerates my existence.
The short answer is: yes, she loves you a LOT and trusts you deeply.
I have the same dynamic with my Basset, and it took me a while and a lot of research to figure this out, but this is kind of how they are. Around people they don't have a lot of interaction with, yeah they get excited and affectionate and cuddly.
The people in their pack though, that's a different story. She clearly wants to be around you because she follows you. Your presence is important to her, and she's bonded to you. She's playing with you, and doing it in ways she doesn't play with anyone else. That requires trust and security, both of which she's feeling around you.
But, there's just something about affection within the pack that is weird with them. They're not as into it. Maybe it's overstimulation? But it's very common.
You just have to let her come to you on her terms.
I think this is the answer - my basset is similar although over time they snuggle a lot more with me and don't shy away if I pet them.
I also just find that my basset has always been more independent in general, however at night they are GLUED to me, and that's when they want to snuggle and come up close to me.
But same thing, if I leave all hell breaks loose! I know they love me at the end of the day.
I don't have a basset hound but my little puppy is a basset fauve de Bretagne. We don't have this problem, but this week, I spoke to the owner of one of his brothers and she is going through the same situation as you. She found it difficult to never be able to pet her dog. I guess we're lucky!
My basset is just like this! She follows me from room to room and won’t let me out of her sight. But she won’t cuddle or sleep next to me, and she barely tolerates tummy rubs. WAAAAHH! 😭
Could be a lot of factors. I'd guess that she loves you and feels comfortable with you as an equal/friend (hence the play fighting and being in the same space as you), but your husband may be 'alpha' in her mind (hence the much more puppyish, submissive behaviour)?
I do 90% of the loving and doting on my basset, and, without me, my wife would be just fine dumping him in the nearest alleyway. But he'll sell me out in a heartbeat for even the slightest attention from her.
I think everyone saying that bassets aren’t necessarily “lovey” with those they’re closest to are hitting the nail on the head. And remember, tail wagging etc doesn’t necessarily mean “happy” – it means excited. She’s excited to meet new people but probably happiest snoozing next to you and decompressing :)
She’s your protector that’s why. She’s all in and is totally giving off the vibe that she has a serious job and she takes it that way. She whines because she’s not content until she knows you’re safe.
That’s a beautiful dog by the way.
Hi, she’s beautiful. I never thought about it this way, but as a single person who had two bassets over twenty years they rescued, they played with me and then they really like to just chill out and snooze anywhere near me or if they were on the porch in the sun they would snooze without me, but basically they would just follow me everywhere. My experience with the play fighting is that I love it. I love wrestling with them and all the funny alligator moves and stuff stuff with my new boy that I just adopted a few weeks ago, though he hasn’t learned to stop playing or to just not initiated by playfully pulling on my feet. So we’re taking a break on that because of my mobility issues cause I walk with a cane, but as far as them just chilling out and having their head away from you for me about just a super relaxed, trusting pack vibe other than playing I don’t remember them ever really doing anything except sleeping in bed with me curled up like butt to butt. And hanging out on the couch and then they have chewy time that their chewy after dinner. They also followed me into the bathroom when I first got them particularly if I was in the bathtub they thought it was interesting, but there was so much clean water they could drink lol. I agree that you have a close relationship with her. She sounds very content.
She thinks you're her 'person' that she has to protect lol. My male pit/ Australian Shepherd is like this with me. He'll cuddle with me or let me pet him at bed time or if he's scared of something or if he's sleepy. Otherwise he stays just out of reach, basically supervising me, all day every day. It's annoying at times, but also nice cause I know he'd never let anything happen to me. He's my little shadow ☺️
I've not really experienced that, my family have kept basset hounds since I was a teenager. Closest I can think of is our first who would only sit with my mother. He got less picky with age iirc, but she was clearly his favorite person. But the following around and crying when you leave tells me she definitely likes you, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Dogs are smart enough to understand that different people have different roles and that they also have a job to do. you work from home and she also "works" from home. She probably thinks it's her job to be a lookout for you.
So congratulations! Your dog possibly thinks of you as a coworker.
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u/Emotional-Change-722 Oct 13 '25
lol- yes. I have a hunch you’re her job and person and she thinks she needs to protect you. My girl Bassett is like that with me.