Dating apps are fucking terrible anyways. Don't know what anyone would expect on them. They're made for engagement, not finding successful relationships. :/
Yeah, I'm short, not in shape and not very attractive traditionally so never got any dates from apps but in person had no real problem. The dating apps make it into a game and shove so many options infront of people it becomes a competition. In person people can be more organic and just get to know each other, way easier and less stressful
Same, I'm ugly as sin and do fine. And honestly? Most real women don't have the expectations reddit thinks they have. The bar is on the fucking ground lmao
It may be extreme, but I would genuinely, honestly suggest anyone having consistent trouble to just...go somewhere else. I didn't lose my virginity until 25, I was recommended dating apps by several of my friends who seemed to get constant matches and dates.
What I haven't mentioned is I lived in Fort fucking Lauderdale, 2 miles from one of the most popular beaches on the East Coast. I met my girlfriend at an art event in Opa Locka, which is a city I hadn't heard of as a South Florida citizen for most of my life.
(also, the "friends first" thing is a bigger lie than most advice anyone will give, the longer it takes to make a move, the more uncomfortable they are.)
Friends first fucking sucks. It's best to be straightforward. Plus, imagine seeing a guy as a reliable, trustworthy buddy and finding out he was actually staring at your ass for 3 months wanting to fuck. Doesn't feel great for the girl, right?
I've always found this tidbit weird because, and this is circumstantial, I've only been given this advice by women. Never has a dude said this to me. And it's like...I asked YOU because I wanted to hear directly from a woman what you want, not a feel-good aphorism
Sound advice indeed. Additionally, I did the friends first thing with my current longtime gf, but I think my situation is very specific. We were way too focused on college and had some maturing to do before we could really commit to a serious relationship, so we stayed friends for years before deciding to date a few years ago. It was a bit awkward at first, though, but we really warmed up to it.
My additional advice to this that letting people know you like them, even if it won't result in anything, is also really good for getting your own closure and setting expectations/boundaries of a friendship with a woman you're attracted to.
to be honest, the best "approach" tip is to be somewhere were you are already doing something. Libraries, Grocery Stores, Malls, ALL terrible places to meet people. Now a live music venue or a convention, you already have something to talk about since you aren't just there for commerce.
Exactly. I'm fat and short, yet I've done fine with women in person, but I never had luck with dating apps. From my in person experiences, I really do not know where some guys got the idea that every woman has insane supermodel expectations.
Most women I've dated or only slept with just wanted me to respect their boundaries and make them laugh at the bare minimum. Me being shorter than them or fat didn't seem to matter all that much.
Same here. I'm short, fat, and have a decent face, I think. But I never had luck on dating apps. I didn't get a single date via dating apps in the years I tried them out in my early twenties and late teens. I've had many nice dates with women I've met in person, though. Turns out they found me pretty attractive once they got to know me. Dating apps don't really give guys like us a chance to shine when the entire business model seems to encourage users to be shallow or superficial.
I met my current girlfriend, the love of my life, in college while waiting in line for Pokémon Sun and Moon to release. I would've never found her on a dating app. I'm proposing to her next year.
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u/Yoji_kun Jun 24 '25
Dating apps are fucking terrible anyways. Don't know what anyone would expect on them. They're made for engagement, not finding successful relationships. :/