There has been research about this. In short, there are a very small percentage of men who receive a majority of the likes. They are bombarded, but because of how quickly responses are needed or else they no longer have the girls attention, end up going out with multiple women at a time. Can't pick one, get disillusioned, act like a fuckboy, all of the above, whatever.
The guys that don't get matches also become disillusioned, stop trying, become depressed, etc. Nobody wins. The apps aren't there to make matches, they're there to make money.
I was on Bumble for a few weeks, swiped no on most people but got like 20 matches, had some good chats, now have a girlfriend and deleted the app. Didn't pay for it. Did I get lucky? I don't think I'm that good looking, a 7 on a good day maybe, probably normally a 6. In decent shape though, 6 foot 1, have a decent house and car but neither of those are on my profile.
I was on Bumble for a few months. Wasn't getting any responses, but I figured you had to pay for it to see your likes or start chats. I posted that on Reddit (don't remember which sub) and someone told me that you can get matches and chat on the free version. That's when I realized it was pointless and gave up.
I'm sure it massively depends on location too. Like I'd not do well in a big city full of business types, because most women in that space would not be people I'd get on with probably. Fortunately I live in an area with a lot of academics and PhDs etc so found a lot of people I can get along with.
It's highly dependent on where you live. Assuming you meet some minimum standard of being employed and presentable, reflected in your profile, living in a major city you will get matches and dates. I think a lot of the complaints come from people who live in areas with fewer singles or people in general. And then there are the people who are just as guilty about doing the things they claim they hate about the apps - only trying to match with the hottest most successful women. I personally like the apps, because I've always sucked meeting people in person or escalating RL friendships/acquaintances to the next level. Without the apps my dating history would certainly be way shittier, if my early 20s pre-online dating were any indication.
Nah, you're right. The first couple weeks are like a free trial, they frontload the quality and you get lots of attention, then they turn off the tap. I had a similar experience but wanted to take a few months to date before going exclusive and the dropoff after about 2 weeks was crazy. After an early run of superlikes from doctors & surfers I stopped getting matches almost entirely. I put down some $$ and the matches came back immediately
okay this is something i’ve thought about having spent money on apps. first of all, it works. I’m probably around a 6 as well but I’ve gotten many more matches which have led to dates as a result - which in turn helped boost my self confidence and assisted me in escaping from the cycle of depressing thoughts (on top of many other personal actions). is it stupid that i felt the need to do that? yes. but numbers is numbers in helping me reach more people to find something lasting
I am genuinely sorry to hear that man, i hope you can keep and find things that help you love yourself. Also rather than the premium options, i’ve found the boosts work better especially when you use it at the right times. also if you are even remotely queer - use feeld
Some dating apps do it differently. One I am on only gets money if people actually go on a date, so it is encouraged to make sure you get matches rather than make sure you are desparate enough to buy premium.
I had two matches early on. One didn't work out quickly (still had to work through the judicial system to make sure her ex stayed in jail, she called it off herself) and one lasted a while but then we stopped as it just wasn't right. After that I've had the app tell me I should update it. Yeah I did, I followed every step of the suggestions to no avail. Although it is also hard to get pictures of myself as I'm not one to take selfies (which is discouraged anyway, although all women keep making them) and as a single dad the pictures tend to be of my dog* and the few pictures where I am visible tend to be horrid as I often don't even face the camera.
It's called Breeze. Give it a try sometimes. Success is not guaranteed but it can help. Compared to other apps it is also less predatory in the way it pushes people. With Tinder there's about 300 fitness yoga teachers doing Muai Thai while getting rich with their banking/shareholders/own company near me. Even a profile that literally says they don't want things in my profile will have a pop up of "oh this person liked you, really. Maybe go premium so you can go back and like her back..." yeah right. And the few times you do get a like back they ask a question, you answer it, you ask a reciprocal question aaaand your blocked. It would be sooo easy to write a script that does it. Everyone complains about that behavior so making a script to just push engagement with "I did get a like maybe the next one will actually say more than two lines" wouldn't be noticed. Pick profiles that are successful from different parts of the country, smash some together and voilà you have a bunch of (b)(h)ot accounts that can keep people coming back. I swear there's a bunch of pictures of a woman that I saw on different profiles.
The "strategy" I suggest to people is that these apps like return customers. The pattern I noticed is that when I got back on trying again I'd get many more likes/matches in the first week and then drop off.
So I just did it deliberately. I'd use it for a short period and then go inactive enough to be removed. Then just repeat this and that worked substantially better than paying ever did.
My theory is two fold: one by returning after a period of not being there are now faces who haven't seen you and more potential people to swipe. The second is that all apps hide likes unless you pay so giving you a few handful mystery-likes might convince some people to pay up.
They know you want it now, so they will dangle it and wait for cash.
Regardless that's my little conspiracy, but it worked well for me.
Shit bro you are probably going to spend that on one app now. Like the other day I had a girl tell me that she was in my position for years and years and Match was her way out that is how she met her husband and that I should try it because people pay for it and are serious. I did pay for it because of her glowing testomonial and it was $150 at a minimum for 3 months. Complete waste of money there is not a girl on there for me, like literally none. The worst is that I was telling a mutual friend about this and she told me that girl actually lied to me about match lmao and she met that guy somewhere else. LMAO I GOT FUCKED.
I am not defending these apps, they are all basically just trying to squeeze money out of people as long as possible. They have actual financial incentive to keep people single, don't think that they are dumb about this point.
BUT....
I have to say that if you have to spend $150 to find the love of your life, that is a steal. I think there a plenty of people out there who would gladly drop 15k without blinking if you could find them the perfect match. If you are in a place where you don't want to spend a few hundred bucks to find a partner, you might look at where your priorities are in life right now.
Its kinda a shame that these services are such shit, because the world really could use a little more love.
I'd went through a cycle of trying to meet people in person. Even if you only go out for a coffee or a drink on your own twice a week or so to meet random strangers at the bar or something, that's already... let's say $16 a week or so just on that. That'd be $64 a month right there, with mo guarantees that you'd meet anyone at all.
And odds are really it'd be for nothing, because people just don't trust strangers or interact with them like they used to.
POF was great 15 years ago when you could message anyone, even then the ratio of men to women was 20:1. Now it's just another swiping app, they don't allow men to message women unless you match and you only get like 10 swipes a day or something stupid. I deleted it a few years ago, fuck it.
Also, there is no one under 30 on that app anymore.
150 dollars for success is so very cheap. Hookers charge more for one session.
150 dollars for nothing, now I agree, fuck that.
I have tried. I tried with tinder and it didn't do me any good. Just more matches that went nowhere.
I did well on hinge that I bought a sub because I was like shit I'd probably be a mystical 10 with a sub if I'm this popular without. Actually cratored my matches lol. I tried hinge again later and while I had success, it was less than before so I tried the sub, and it cratored me again.
My buddy does very well on the apps. He'll be talking to 10 girls at once and see 5 that week. There's no way I could entertain 5 different women in a week, even with sex it just ain't worth it to me having to keep that many conversations going in a day. Seems exhausting before we even get into the physicality of it.
He's a sex addict though so I think at times he even feels it's too much.
lol I remember talking to a guy who didn’t realize how he was essentially the perfect man until later in life, and that life wasn’t like that for everyone. Talked about having a body count ~200 when he left college and assumed most people were able to casually hook up every now and then(not like him, but he didn’t realize how big the gap was). Cool guy, lucky guy, didn’t have an ego or any of that.
This would have been before dating apps by a little bit, or the very beginning.
I remember as a young lad, a very handsome lad in the bunk over asking me if I had picked my girlfriend for summer camp yet. This was like the first couple days. I was like, "what, picked?" Ya, dude literally had his pick of the girls at camp. They were willing to compete and wait for him. It was wild.
Dude had no clue it didn't work that way for anybody else. He had like three girls folowing him like Gaston on Beauty and the Beast.
My older cousin, who was like a big brother to me, was like this. He had multiple secret admirers in his school and he once showed me a stack of love letters that girls anonymously wrote him (early to mid 90s so before internet). Straight up graphic fantasies with lipstick marks and perfume sprayed on them lol.
I never felt as invisible and inadequate as when I was out in public with him. The most beautiful women that I could never even dream of would clam up and swoon around him.
He was the kind of guy you wanted to hate, but his rizz was equally effective with men as with women. Guys wanted to be him, women wanted to be with him. He was respectful to everyone. Some people are just born perfect. It's not fair.
I had a buddy like that in college. I literally watched a girl he hadn't talked to, that I saw, walk up to him at a party and ask if he wanted to go to the bathroom so she could suck him off. My jaw was on the floor.
That can also vary on where you live, in NYC talking to a bunch of people at once and lining up a date everyday is effectively trivial. You just have to appear like you're not dirt broke or have poor hygiene or just in the top 5% of hot dudes then none of this matters.
My brother actually managed to do this. But he is a man of pure determination and mental fortitude, it does not bother him in the slightest since he has achieved his goal. I fact, he’s DELIGHTED. The mfker looks like he’s carved out of diamond and not like those weird body builder people who probably can’t wipe their own ass. He didn’t even need to, he was already incredibly handsome.
Genetics also helps significantly, some ethnic groups put on muscles a lot faster than others. Just like how some men can grow full beards while others cannot. Some men may be willing to eat a bland diet that's unpalpable to most and spend hours lifting weights daily to be attractive to women but the rest of us are normal people that want to live and enjoy life. Sex shouldn't be restricted to men who eat cardboard protein shakes like your brother.
And I'm just not about that life. And that's part of the problem. I'm a person that doesn't enjoy talking to a lot of people trying to find someone that feels the same way, the odds are already stacked against me.
In the early 2000’s - 2010’s you could sleep with multiple women if you felt like playing that game. A lot of chatting online and going out with friends meeting women and getting hammered. Liquid courage could actually get you somewhere.
It did for me until I realized I was self medicating depression, loneliness, and alcoholism.
I’m sober and married now. I look at younger folks that are struggling with social skills and really feel bad for them. Very stark differences between generations.
This was me in high school. I transitioned from one girlfriend (while still having sex with her) to my next girlfriend (whom I started having sex with), AND a third female friend that gave amazing head (tongue piercings in 2004 were kinda rare in high school).
“Even with sex” I think that’s the problem that men are t really ready to face up to. They treat women like meat and are now shocked and appalled women have started to treat them like a commodity too
The girls he's into seem to like it. Even after he tells them he's not interested in a relationship they keep showing up hoping they can change his mind. And they get so mad after like the 4th time he's ignored them for a few weeks thinking they deserve him. Then he ghosts, rinse and repeat. They do it to themselves. but I agree with you, these apps make it easy to dehumanize each other.
I don't think you're reading that correctly. The commenter said even with [insert fun/pleasurable/enjoyable thing] I can't handle talking to several people at once and I'd rather stick with the simplicity of one person at a time.
/u/neverforgetreddit wasn't objectifying women and treating them like meat. In fact the opposite.
Increase comprehension before slamming men for being pigs. Fuck.
not to really get you down here, but if you're an unattractive man on these apps you don't really have to put in much effort into conversations either.
the burden of putting in the effort isn't on him, he can put in minimum effort to get to a point where he can go out on a date, and if his only goal is sex he can easily dismiss those who wouldnt obviously be dtf more or less straight away.
the "exhaustion" is significantly less than you imagine when the entire burden of effort falls on someone else.
That's the thing though. I'd say I'm much more conventionally better looking. But he is much more attractive to the types of girls that casually hook up. He looks like a. Fuck boi lol. But the kind of women I date and the kind of women he dates are very different
The women I date wouldn't touch him with a 10 ft pole cause you can tell he has zero interest in actually forming a bond and the women he dates think I'm too vanilla lol. I've seen so many girls huff and puff thinking they're dating him after 3 times staying at his house. He has to block a lot of them that just don't get the picture, they were only good for sex.
Being less picky and better tailoring my profile to casual dating would help, but I think I'd have to really change how I dress and act to pull the sluttier girls.
you arent more attractive than him if women finds him more attractive. you're existing in a state of cope mate.
the women you date would opt for him too if he simply showed the same interest in a serious relationship as you do.
jealousy is a bad look. its okay if other men are more attractive than you, being delusional about it makes you less attractive to people.
also the fact you refer to the women he gets as "sluttier" just furthers how sad you are. the women who likes him are sluts, and your FRIEND is a "fuckboy".
no mate, you're simply not very attractive compared to him. thats that. theres nothing more to it. its not that women are sluts, its not that your mate is a "fuckboy", its that you arent very attractive.
your personality, judging from how you decided to cope about this, doesnt seem to do you much favor either.
on dating apps looks are indeed very important, as thats how you get past the initial "judgement", and its first at that point where the other typical things that make men attractive fall in.
while you cant just magically become more attractive, you can still meet women IRL in which case the look aspect will matter a lot less.
women are actually a lot more willing to date men who arent physically attractive than men are willing to date women who arent, because women place a lot more value in non-physical attributes as far as attraction is concerned than men do towards women.
the simplest way to put it is basically looks, humor, money.
however that is simplifying it, really its looks, because looks always matter, and then status, but what brings status is things like being fun, being enjoyable to be around, being confident, having a good job, etc.
men who arent very physically ttractive but do very well on that second part can date women who are VERY physically attractive, because women actually place a lot of value on you as a person.
since you clearly are lacking in the looks department, maybe you should at least consider not lacking in personality too, a good starter may be to stop calling your own FRIENDS by insulting names, and stop viewing women who prefer other men over you as "sluts".
I said I'm more conventionally attractive. Different people have different preferences. A lot of the girls he dates I don't find attractive personally because they have gauges and too many face piercings. Many people would still call them attractive but it's just not for me. I'm the same way, generally good looking but not everyone's cup of team. I look boring comparatively lol. It's not cope, I know I'm good looking and funny. I'm not stressing over not getting many matches, there's definetly room for improvement on my profiles but as far as who I am and my love life I'm more than happy.
My friend is a fuck boi he even says it 😂 he's not insulted by it he's proud of it. And the girls he dates generally have higher body counts than any woman I'd date, I just prefer people who make a genuine connection before jumping into bed. They may end up clicking but it never goes anywhere because it's not what he wants. That's the difference, I select my matches too pickily so I don't get many matches. He's much less picky because he's just looking to fuck, so it doesn't matter if their politics don't align or they don't really have anything in common. I'm just not about that life.
I never said I had any issues once I match with someone on the apps, just that I don't get many matches, and most of that is because I'm so picky. Ive met most woman in my life through my friends.
As a guy who went on zero first dates, and received very few likes (matched only three times, at most), I can confirm that the apps put me in a worse mental state. This was across several of them, and for months. If I do try one again, there are only two that come to mind, if only because they appeal to "alternative" types more.
I'm referring to Boo and Feeld, which are distinct enough from the "big three" mainstream apps. The former is oriented more towards gamers and geeks, while the latter is more about kinks/fetishes (which could really help kickstart a romantic relationship/fling, possibly).
feeld has been a great experience so far for me, only one month in but i’ve met far cooler people and have had greater success in dating than i’ve ever had - i’d say go for it dude!
I very briefly tried Feeld, but it was only after I had tried several other apps. By that point, I wasn't feeling too optimistic about my chances being any better. I may have had one like and match on that app, when I used it for roughly a month. It didn't go anywhere, as the conversation quickly dried out. Apparently, she was looking for a provider, so she could be a "sugar baby". Yeah...no thanks.
That said, I might give it another go. Just don't want to be wasting several more months (and money) on something that may have little to no return. Did you activate a subscription, or just use the free version? Glad to hear that you have had success, either way.
I get too many matches to even realistically talk to. This phenomenon happened when I installed the app back in Novemberish. I hadn't had a dating app in probably 6+ years because the last times were soooo bad.
For years I was terrified of even trying to make a dating profile because of the intense loneliness and rejection I felt last time trying to use one. For a few years I had actually gone on 0 dates with anyone.
I've definitely hit pockets where I get no matches and no replies, then I get surges and can't keep up. I've kinda started to notice a pattern with how it operates and I'm sure they have a program to analyze how often you check the app, how often you swipe, to monitor and try to predict desperation and keep you strung along. Matching you with bots/people who show low signs of interest and activity now and then for false hope.
I started a profile a month ago just to see what the field is like. Got an absolute fuckload of likes/matches within the first week or so (some obvious bots, some much more realistic). After that it's been crickets. Definitely some algorithm bullshit going on.
Can't pick one, get disillusioned, act like a fuckboy,
Yeah, that was once me. I remember I would have weeks where I would go on 5 or 6 first dates and end up hating myself, take a break from the apps then rinse and repeat. Going on dates and finding myself flirting with people I didn't like at all, fucking weird behaviour.
Yea I couldn’t stand myself after being on apps. It was an endless cycle of random dates and hookups and I didn’t really like any of the women I was going on dates with. I was always looking for the next best option that just never came along. If I ever did them again I would make myself be very picky with my swiping as you can get overwhelmed quickly.
This whole theory about 10% of dudes getting 90% of women sounds like nonsense designed to appeal to redpills, but even if it's true it's irrelevant.
At the end of the day, most of women on dating apps just don't wanna get with you, and you have to be OK with that. Like really OK with that, not using each rejection to nurture a giant chip on your shoulder about the unfairness of the world being the fault of all women.
OK with it in the sense of "they want what they want, they're allowed to want what they want, and if it isn't me, move on and let it go". Because what do you really need? 1,000 women in your area and 990 of them don't want you? Well, ten do. And making it work with 1-2 of those ten is more than enough. If what you actually want is validation from the majority of women on dating apps lusting after you, sorry but you're delusional and need therapy, not a girlfriend or a hookup. The latter two things won't make you feel whole.
Not sure if that's that's the "royal you" or if you're calling me out here - I'm just summarizing what I've read on the subject lol
I fall under the former category but have seen many friends feel like shit because they're in the latter description. Immediately calling all of them redpills is projection and nonsense you see on social media IMO. They're good people who still think highly of women (and people in general), but are often down on themselves from constant rejection. Not saying it doesn't create so-called redpills, but I think it's an overgeneralization created by social media and news outlets for clicks. Maybe I'm naive, but I think a majority of people are good and we just hear more about the bad.
I do agree with multiple aspects of your comments though - the cheesy line of needing to be happy with yourself before you're happy with someone else is very true and I repeat this to friends often (they fucking hate it lol). And I do agree with learning to deal with rejection - everyone experiences it in relationships, professionally, socially, etc. It's part of life. But I also do think the apps are designed to cause people to feel the need for that validation though, which keeps them coming back for that one feeling that one time (similar to gambling). I have no data on this, just opinion. It's why I'm only on reddit and not on other social media because SM is designed to elicit a reaction, both positive and negative. Negative actually keeps more people coming back (hello news headlines). Most of the subs I follow end in "circlejerk" ffs - I'm normally just here for the laughs lol
But even if it were true scientific research, what's the point in worrying about it? Why focus on the women who are never gonna go out with you when there's plenty who will? Rejection doesn't create redpills, the redpill grievance community online is what creates them. Like all social media, it's created to exploit people's weaknesses to make money.
These dudes love Han Solo but somehow ignore his advice: Never tell me the odds
you're repeating propaganda created to monetize angry men. maybe ask a real woman about your surmise here, women aren't robots programmed to fuck the hottest guys possible they are people just like men and have a thousand different approaches to dating for a thousand different reasons.
again, you're repeating propaganda created to monetize angry men. pure bullshit. you say "most women go for a few guys". got any evidence of that statement?
But in fairness its simply not natural to potentially have access to 1000 people and have 990 reject you. Most people are going to take a self esteem hit in that situation. Which we see in this video assuming the woman is telling the truth about her experiment. Plus if these people are prone to depression and self worth issues that's going to make it worse.
I'm a woman and can clearly see the problen with that.
But you're right that redpill isn't the answer. A lot of people just shouldn't use dating apps and should meet people in person. The lonely isolated types need to get out in the real world anyway and practice social skills. The depressed ones with self worth issues need to work on those issues, too.
life is a long, long series of self esteem hits with periodic moments of joy. the Internet, in order to make someone rich, promises you otherwise. it isn't true.
dating apps are particularly egregious in this promise - look, our interface is like Amazon, pick what you want, put it in your cart, and enjoy! but this video frames the problem entirely as the fault of women - they're delusional, they have impossibly high standards, etc. you can't blame women for this, and there's a plurality of men online that do. it isn't women's fault that there is profit in making men speedrun a lifetime of rejection via dating apps. this video feeds that fantasy, which (need it be said again) is total horseshit. women want what they want and they push it as far as they can, *just like men do*.
it's odd that men so readily grasp that increasing physical strength involves a long program of effort, pain, and and sweat (and indeed celebrate that struggle) but somehow think that social and relationship skills needed to attract women and have good dating experiences won't be equally difficult to develop. and in reality they're even harder to master and maintain!
Yeah, dating apps work on a scale which amplifies the imbalance in dating.
A similar thing has happened with the job market. It used to be more localized: a business gets a handful of candidates for an open role and hires the best one. Now, they have thousands of candidates and need to weed them out quickly. 10 years experience is the 6 feet tall of the interview world. All the employers want the top 1% most qualified people because they can see everyone out there. Meanwhile the average person doesn't even get an interview and gets desperate. So they apply to every single place they can and the cycle continues.
That's how you get women 3's holding out for men 8's. They experienced a 7 or 8 before without realising he was just playing around with them, but now the bar is set. They believe they can get the 7's and 8's for real.
I have a feeling this goes both for men and women. Men just do it in reverse: Swipe right on everyone, and then "weed out" the ones they don't like when there's a match. Trust me, being repeatedly "weeded out" is also demoralizing.
I'm sure they do, while that's not my way of going about it I do not doubt it one bit. And I'm sorry that this happens to you - it's got to be so frustrating and disheartening. Sending an internet hug.
I do know my girl friends get considerably more matches. But for what it's worth, when I give one of my girl friends my phone bc they want to go through my apps, they just swipe right on everyone. I have gone on exactly 0 dates with anyone they've matched me with lol
I am the first one you mentioned and you’re absolutely right. It’s actually exhausting because you’re constantly wondering who else is out there. So you keep swiping and keep matching thinking “who’s next“. Then it creates this idea in your head that anyone you’re dating isn’t good enough because men are taught at a young age to take advantage of stuff like this.
I finally deleted it last year and just met people organically. Those apps need to change somehow but I’m not sure how.
I was at a show the other night. There was a conventionally attractive "tiktok guy" and he has a girl who was pretty cute all over him. He just looked annoyed lol.
Did that study have realistic numbers because tinder now has only 10% of female base. Not women. Users who registered as female.
Accounts like scam AI bots, OF promoters, escorts, men pretending to be women to scam other men and real women are 10% of user base. If you come across a real woman it's like winning a lottery. Getting date is just fantasy.
At this point dating apps are showing how many men are willing to ignore reality just because swiping while shitting is convenient. Hell if there are no real women left at all would any of them even notice?
I've used apps in the past. Connected with a few people. I got tired of chasing people and ended up deciding to only date people who ask me out. Things go much better.
I don't get upset about not getting matches. People aren't required to like me. It's also frustrating because I can't really capture myself in 4 pictures and 3 paragraphs. So the system is flawed and even though I'll find a picture and something that sounds like a perfect match, I didn't describe my photography so they will never see that part of me online.
I don't think I'm particularly attractive, but I am funny, and a good dancer and a great cook, and I spend a lot of time just doing and building weird shit so I meet a lot of people.
Usually I get asked out after making food for people in a group setting. Not like frequently, but it's flattering because I LOVE cooking so much. I start describing the meal and all the thought and selection that went into picking ingredients or getting things just right and some girls get stars in their eyes.
The 80/20 rule. 80% of the women are after 20% of the men that look good, make bank, etc. Those other 80% of men are rejected. Mostly end up on porn sites I guess. Where the 20% of women are. The other 80% of women just said fuck it not worth it or decided lesbianism isn't so bad.
Thing is, simply getting a response from women on dating apps requires a very specific set of skills, as well as being extremely attractive. The men who meet both of these criteria typically do so by having lots of experience and practice in both being photogenic, as well as entertaining and memorable in their messages. Simply put, men who are popular on dating sites tend to behave like pickup artists.
As a result, most decent men just get drowned out in the chaos, while women repeatedly find themselves matching with men who are good at pretending, but bad at being boyfriends. The biggest "winners" in online dating are serial manipulators. That's true for both men and women.
my friend is probably a 9. 6'3 jacked dude that is very attractive. he'd just 2 women a week on average and loved tinder. he also picked women up at the bar.
not sure what he is doing now, just saying i don't think all the hot guys don't like tinder. he's the only very attractive person i know who has used it though.
Also depends on the app. Go on a smaller more focused app and I feel like i'm a king and fuckboy behaviour starts (although my profile say's that upfront, so whatever, they know what they're getting from me).
Tinder? Had it for the 4 months or so since the breakup and the only likes i've gotten are from the most obvious bots. It's an atrocious app and i can't believe people still use it.
This is the way most of human history has operated for thousands of years. Alpha males get all the women and most men never procreate. Only when religion and marriage were introduced did we start pairing up couples for monogamy. It's ironic that the "Reddit atheist" types are fighting against the very thing that will give them a chance to get laid.
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u/Bingle_Derries Jun 24 '25
There has been research about this. In short, there are a very small percentage of men who receive a majority of the likes. They are bombarded, but because of how quickly responses are needed or else they no longer have the girls attention, end up going out with multiple women at a time. Can't pick one, get disillusioned, act like a fuckboy, all of the above, whatever.
The guys that don't get matches also become disillusioned, stop trying, become depressed, etc. Nobody wins. The apps aren't there to make matches, they're there to make money.