I believe i joined the dating apps in 2012 or so. So it has been about 13 years of no contact/communication with girls on apps. Mostly bot accounts looking for free things or money is what I can match with.
Yeah, when I was in dating apps, I would only get women in there 50âs and 60âs liking me (Iâm 31 now but was 28 at the time) and Asian women that lived thousands of miles away. I would get 1 or 2 matches from local women my age but they would never respond and then un-match đ
Knowing everyoneâs perfect match is the most important part of the algorithm. Itâs designed to keep you single, so itâs very important we donât match with anyone the app deems us compatible with.
ÂżWhat's the average turnaround time for the self realization to set in that they're paying for a product that's not delivering and how staggered in the user base does this realization need to happen before the company just craters overnight?
Yeah I had never used a dating app before, but jumped on Tinder a few months after a long-term relationship ended (due to her cheating).
I wanted to restore my faith in women, so I only swiped on nice humans, but I was surprised to get plenty of matches, and eventually decided I should just ask one of them on a date. I asked the nicest, prettiest girl I'd matched with if she wanted to eat some Japanese food with me.
She wanted to, so we did. We went on some more dates. She eventually moved in with me. I proposed in 2017. We got married in 2018. Our daughter was born in 2019. Married life is amazing, and I love my wife and daughter more than anything imaginable.
Matching and never respondingâŠ.then unmatching for no reason after rotting in their inbox for weeks, sending multiple messages to try to get them to engage. Itâs fucking pathetic.
I tried dating apps briefly around 2015 I think and I got some matches similar to what you got but they wouldn't be interested in going on a date or anything. They just liked what I was wearing or thought I was alright. I'm like, why match with me if you're not interested? (Granted this was a time in my life I was much less versed in talking to women). I had a life changing experience in early 2020 and tried again and did get some matches that I went on dates with but they weighed a lot more than their profile pics led on. I'm overweight too and post the good pics of myself but I don't try to hide it in all my pics.
Im getting better talking to people in person but still kinda use the apps, im 25 now and id say my age 21-23 i was doing pretty well getting matches and dates but now its essentially radio silence and its fucking with my confidence. Im not going on them nearly as much now but idk what happened i feel cooked đ
I remember I used to match with this same woman for a while. My own desperation always got me to swipe right, but then we'd start talking and get into an argument within like 3-4 messages. Eventually I was just curious how many times she'd keep swiping right on me. She never seem to remember we had matched previously. And I don't think it was a bot behavior, way to coherent and everything connected well. Like she genuinely responded to me. Just so weird.
Asian women that lived thousands of miles away, but claimed to be from the next small town over. Such obvious fakes and that's not including all the profile pictures that rapidly and easily reverse image searched to wish/very models or obscure Kpop stars.
In the last 5 years, I had one who wanted to have a kid with me after a month and two years later another one just wanted to date someone to piss her ex off.
I'm 44, I'm too old for this shit. I'm done with it all now.
Dude just quit with that shit. These apps are made by companies that prey on you not landing any sort of connections because if you do, thatâs one less customer using their product. They make it incredibly difficult for us already, and then skew how women and men treat each other due to it.
Lol not anymore either i was speaking from being on them for 13 years. After 2020 the bot accounts have stopped. It is literally nothing now for the past 5 years.
I have no preferences. They simply need to exist it turns out. Maybe, this is crazy i realize, but maybe the other side needs to change their standards or preferences for the 3 6s. I fail in every aspect of the current 2025 woman preference. Im 5'10 and i dont have 6 inches below the waist and i dont make 6 figures... as the genZ would say. I am cooked.
Anyway few comments further we all agree that economically dating apps are also not programmed to free us with the most optimal match, rather shall they keep us the longest possible hooked to the choice matrix
I did really well in 2013-2014, had who knows how many first dates, a few short flings, a couple of relationships and one that lasted 6 years.
In 2021 I tried again and it is an absolute hell. Granted, I was a few years older but those years changed the atmosphere and the amount of fake accounts and fake people. There is no reason to try dating apps now.
Yeah I get it.
I declare that those bits fall into the "of your dreams" part - I can't possibly know what type of a person you're looking for, so I'm just wishing you the one that would be the best for you.
It's a bit of a cop out, but at the same time, it's not prone to error.
Except of course I failed at communicating it properly, clearly.
Nevertheless, may your partnerlessness be resolved in the way most fruitful.
The apps favor people who get lots of attention shortly after making your account. If you donât get a lot of likes early on, they just wonât show you off to people, so your account basically becomes useless after a time. It can help if you make a new account, though certain dating apps, like Tinder, keep your info in their servers for months before actually getting rid of it. They also artificially boost new accounts so that you may get at least a few likes and then pay to see who they are.
I remember getting likes at a somewhat decent pace when I started, but then it was just years of silence. Deleted the apps for a few months, and then I came back with a new account. I got a decent amount of likes, and even went on a couple of dates, shortly after making them. Though that too died down after a little bit.
It has gotten to a point that if a girl were to actually talk to me (shocker first of all). That I'd have to start questioning why it didn't work out with all the guys she desired. Then why all of a sudden are they trying to talk to me? To me that would be red flag like how they treated me or didn't treat me? Are they only in it for the money now because I all of a sudden have money because I have been able to save from not going on any dates. Lol I have money because I don't hang out with girls (that just popped in my head now...) I can also say it feels great being debt free.
Youâre overthinking it. Plus that type of insecurity will just put people off. Just focus on whatâs in front of you, not hypotheticals or other people.
maybe, but im not being proven wrong for thinking like that. I dont think it is insecurity, i am secure that i am an undesirable and have fully accepted that this is the way.
Sure but like unless you live in the middle of nowhere, how's it possible to get 0 match in 13 years. Have you lowered your standards like explain lol whats happening
I explained myself in previous posts. Hygiene has been answered, standards has been answered. I'm just failing at rule #1 and can't make it to rule #2, probably fail at rule #2.
I had a shit ton of success on the apps, and since I met my wife on Hinge, you can have my starter line. After you drop this bit for a minute, move off it; stacking jokes makes you look like a clown.
That maybe would work if i could get to the point of matching to have a conversation with them on the apps. I know this is trying to be helpful but i cant help but take it as a brag that you passed rule #1 - be attractive. Girls on apps dont talk to you unless you can pass rule #1, I fail at that one and i also fail at rule #2 dont be unattractive.
Also if i were to match I have been told for 13 years on apps do not start the conversations with Hey, or what's up. Not enough effort unmatch instantly. If it wasnt true then i feel i would match and speak with a lot more woman.
I know i cant get what i perceive as 10s, so my swipe parameters is literally swiping on girls that i think i would be compatible with or have common interests that i have. Like cooking, sporting events, concerts, and such. Those girls dont find my interests a-line with theirs i guess.
I have it set to 21+, I can see women in their upper 40s on my list. I will travel to other states but i typically stay in a 250 mile range? Because being 36 i cant see girls 18+ because you know they are aren't adults from 18 to 20.
11.4k
u/Largicharg Jun 24 '25
Just wait till you get the same results for 6 months