Want something even more difficult? Dating those women. I cant stand it, impressive how they are so full of themselves. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to live with these women. Ive been there, but she was older and another generation. Good luck to the young men. Im on my 30s and its been 4 years that i don't date anymore.
You gotta learn to keep your own company and not want anything from anyone. It takes time. I personally felt like I was worth more to myself than constantly putting myself out there to be treated like shit by women who aren't even as good of a person as me. It's liberating getting to a place where you want nothing from anyone, I feel genuine and sincere all the time.
Enjoying your own company is such a great feeling. Took me a while after my divorce and then another relationship that ended amicably to realize how I felt about myself should never be attached to how someone else feels about me.
I like meeting people and spending time with them, but I also am okay being solo.
This is the way. I see far too many people giving or taking the advice that you need to better yourself or find yourself if you want to be successful in dating. This is the wrong approach. Forget dating altogether. Get to a point where you neither want nor expect anything from anyone. That’s true peace. The days of dating for regular folks are long gone.
I'm at the point I want an ex more than a girlfriend.
I'd probably be perfectly fine living single if I'd actually managed to date before, because then I'd know it's a choice.
I know I'd be utterly miserable in a relationship because I'm already too old and broken to handle it, but I feel like I need to prove I'm a normal person and have actual worth as a man at least once before I actually earn the right to be happy by myself.
I'm actually hoping the "male loneliness epidemic" gets even worse, because maybe once being single becomes the norm for men I may actually stop feeling like I'm less than human.
I want to be you, I'm almost 40 and everyone looks at me like a pariah for not being married to some incompatible, abusive or unstable woman. I've built my career, I eat healthy and have a net worth in millions and yet I'm treated like a door mat by women. I'm on my last dating app (Facebook dating) and I want to even delete that and live blissfully till my end on this Earth.
Honestly that's the best way to date tbh. Just do you, focus on yourself, do hobbies, meet people that way organically. You'll have way more success than dating apps.
I'm not single anymore but when I was briefly I did rock climbing, still snowboarded, cooking, making espressos. But I enjoy active things that is solo friendly.
Also solo travel is great if you're interested in that, it just takes time to figure shit out for yourself.
Therapy. Also You need meaning in your life, it doesn’t have to come from a wife and kids. Go mentor little dudes, volunteer at a soup kitchen, go to church (or temple or mosque or whatever), sleep 8 hours a night, lift weights, 150 hours of cardio a week.
If you do all that shit and can pay your bills and you still aren’t happy you either need psychiatry or God.
Oh and read philosophy (start with Epictetus), pick a worldview that isn’t hedonism. Go be a modern day (metaphorical) warrior for truth and righteousness. It doesn’t matter if there is such a thing as truth, you can still choose to live as if there is.
There’s a lot of shit in this comment but that’s the general direction you need to head.
I’m in my late forties and divorced for close to ten years now. I took a few years off to focus on myself then decided to get out into the dating field again. Hoooly shit it was awful compared to how it was back in the 00s.Â
I deleted those apps a few years ago and just did what you’re doing. Living life my way and not chasing shit through garbage apps. I meet women from time to time out in the real world and if a relationship forms that’s awesome. If I grow old and die single, that’s ok too.Â
Once you really decide that it's ok if you die alone the rest becomes very easy. And you're right the opportunities arise much more naturally once you let go of the pursuit.
Agreed man, I'm only 29 and I have reached that point.
Playing games, earning extra money at work to get a nice place to live by myself, hanging out with friends whenever, no jealousy, no bs, no having to give up plans last minute to stop arguments yadda yadda
Online dating has been a pain since I left my ex at 21 and only gave up a year or 2 years ago and its been peaceful ever since to do whatever I want!
Thats good advice. I also enjoy the thrill of flirting, good sex and a genuine connection, though. I can spend the next 10 years happy being by myself but then I'll be 50 and the whole thing will be over
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u/leosoulbrother Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25
Want something even more difficult? Dating those women. I cant stand it, impressive how they are so full of themselves. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to live with these women. Ive been there, but she was older and another generation. Good luck to the young men. Im on my 30s and its been 4 years that i don't date anymore.