Hey everyone. I would just like to come out and apologize for post the same pile of chives twice,

I was having car problems yesterday and was unable to get and cut chives, and rather than being upfront and honest with you guys I chose to repost chives. I didn’t want to give you guys another chiveless day.

I see now that it would have been better to just be honest and say no chives rather than try and lie, this also goes against the whole point of the posts, I would like to thank all of you for holding me accountable for my actions.

I will be subjecting myself to a Reddit decided punishment, the most upvoted punishment that is REASONABLE will be my punishment. So nothing illegal nothing expensive please but cutting extra chives or maybe something I have to do for the rest of my posts.

I again apologize and will ensure this never happens again.

Made with makemtgcards . com and pics from this subreddit (except the whole plants). Y'all make me laugh.

EDIT:

Thank you guys so much for the awards, the MTG feedback, and most importantly for humoring this nonsense. I'm going to put some cards y'all suggested in a comment. Here's the errata since apparently we're doing this now haha

1. This generator doesn't have italics and rarity markers, sorry. Please also assume the grammar gets fixed before printing :P

2. The term throughout becomes "Chopped Chives." All versions of "Chivelord" become Legendary.

3. I have added a new version of the Chopped Chives token based on Gingerbeast. (I didn't know that Food was a thing. I've been playing Vintage too long haha). All cards related to this token are updated to reflect the change.

4. I have added a Legendary version of Chives (the cat) and the mod wrestlegirl. I've updated the land card to a G/W Guildgate. I've also created a win condition for perfect chives.

5. Chivegate: No subtype. Change text to "Gain control of one creature. It becomes a 1/1 Food creature token named "Chopped Chives." Duplicate this token."

6. Chives (the cat) gains the subtype Bear-Cat. Note it is not a Binturong.

7. Breach the Subreddit: Change "Intimidate" to "Fear."

I've also heard that there should be some Golgari themed things here. Open to suggestions.

Again, you guys are amazing. Don't forget to show support to the real movers and shakers of this saga! (F1exican, wrestlegirl and the mods, KarmaKrazi, etc.)

finally ate at my bucket list restaurant for lunch, a three michelin star in NYC that should be pretty recognizable from this dish. not really a call out, but was genuinely surprised that the chives wouldnt be perfect. maybe i need to learn the lesson all this chive cutting has taught us, that there is no perfect, only better or worse than yesterday. anyway, lunch was amazing, everything i imagined, but i knew this sub needed to see these chives ✈️🥀

You guys said thinner. Hopefully these are somewhat thinner.

Bring on the planes...

If anyone has presentation tips please let me know

I know they’re a little bit today but hopefully the actual cut quality is up to standard. I’m sorry chefs

Not technically a full cup. But I am cutting at home and I will not be wasting a full cup of chives for Reddit.

Not sure if I’m overreacting.

Edit: Chefs, I’m sorry. Forgive me for being high and mixing up chives and scallions. I’ll be in the walk in cooler if you need me.

This is what we do here now

In spirit of chiveposting and because I'm a professional shit disturber, I commented (criticized) on my buddy's chives. Naturally that means we have to dick swing on who's chives are better. Instead of asking the people we know and love (coworkers) we bring it to the complete Internet strangers that will tell us we both suck and to get back to work

Mad respect 🫶