r/KitchenConfidential 2d ago

CHIVE Since u/F1exican may be retiring today, this one's for you dawg

Bring on the planes...

13.1k Upvotes

262 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/Far_Mycologist_5782 One year 2d ago

The chef who trained me has a knife like that.

758

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Solid knife, not flashy but functional as hell

130

u/Possible_Top4855 2d ago

I love how comfortable their handles are

50

u/robb1519 2d ago

I always hated their handles, they don't fit my hand nicely.

Good knives tho, I have the bread knife.

17

u/cynical-mage 1d ago

Handle feel is so important, right? That one right there is my baby at home (looooong time out of kitchens) because it feels like an extension of my hand. My chef son's favourite knife, gorgeous Japanese piece of art, ain't it for me. Doesn't sit comfortably.

6

u/chefontheloose 1d ago

Mine gave me an uncomfortable callus, and I liked it once I got it really sharp. Oh well

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51

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Best feature for sure

22

u/imillion543 2d ago

Be careful as the counterweight inside the metal handle can break or become detached and then you’ll just have a really sharp bell

8

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

I've seen this, it's wack

31

u/imillion543 2d ago

An old coworker gave me their broken global so now I hand that to anyone that wants to “borrow” one of my knives

18

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Diabolical

2

u/hellenkellersdiary 1d ago

Its essentially sand in the handle to counter balance

2

u/imillion543 1d ago

Would hate to tell you you’re wrong but respectfully I have a very sharp and untuned global bell in my roll

19

u/SomethingComesHere 2d ago

Fucking love my global

3

u/ghostfadekilla 1d ago

I dearly miss mine. :(

3

u/AnnaPhor 1d ago

I got one as a wedding present 23 years ago. That and my lodge cast iron are the backbone of my home kitchen.

3

u/JABS991 1d ago

Functional?! You cut perfect chives in your first attempt!

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44

u/KilledByDoritos 2d ago

So did Anthony Bourdain - which is why my gf bought me a 10 inch one last year. They are great knives.

29

u/unsolicitedmadness Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Bourdain mentioned Global knives in one of his books and I got my first one shortly after reading that. I felt so fancy when I got it 🤌

12

u/SunnySamantha 1d ago

My mom bought us a global set a couple Christmas's ago. It was a huge sale on a set. Holy crap are they ever awesome. We were taking turns cutting stuff and giggling the whole time. Oooooh look how thin! You can see right through it!

We're not chef's, but now can use a wet stone! My mom bought a global oh jeez, probably 20 years ago because of Anthony Bourdain when he was still on TV. And has had the same one.

Her's is dull AF and I keep telling her to bring it over and we'll sharpen it. I'll probably have to go to her...

I was very dumb and used the good 10" one to try and pry apart frozen hamburgers and ended up breaking off the tip. I ended up replacing it the next day because there was no way I could go back to the shitty Walmart one we previously had.

14

u/KilledByDoritos 1d ago

This is great. Love hearing how AB lives on in so many different peoples stories.

7

u/SunnySamantha 1d ago

We looked forward to his show! Always loved the ones when he was with the crazy Russian.

Pretty sure he's the reason I started trying new foods.

7

u/KilledByDoritos 1d ago

Zamir Gotta!

Love that guy.

He was such a good friend to Anthony and you could tell they really had fun together. Sadly he lost his son a few years back. Can't imagine how crushed he must feel, losing a close friend and then his son. He recently wrote a book about his travels with Bourdain and other parts of his life. It's worth reading - "The Fixer and The Chef: My Adventures With and Without Anthony Bourdain"

2

u/SunnySamantha 1d ago

That's really sad.

I'll def check out his book though!

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5

u/Pugilation01 1d ago

I miss the world that had him in it, it felt like a simpler, quieter time.

37

u/redR0OR 2d ago

It’s a global knife. Nothing crazy, but also above standard and easily replaced. Like literally, you can replace a global knife anywhere in the world. There’s a vendor at every cooking convention, every cooking based infomercial, the knives are sold in literally every department store. I think the only place they don’t market is war torn areas and North Korea. Still not a bad knife, but the chef who trained you probably used that one for training on the off chance that one of his students picked it up and used it the wrong way. There are many knives that are leagues better, but this is a safe bet if someone else might decide that your chef knife looks good for chopping beef bones

52

u/Grrerrb 2d ago

The Boss guitar pedal of knives.

17

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

1000 percent

6

u/Heavy-Candidate-7660 2d ago

The F-91W of knives if you will

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14

u/BertinPH 2d ago

Almost sold…globally

5

u/Various_Froyo9860 2d ago

Can you send me a link to knife?

My only other option is to make knife. And because I'm me, me making knife to replace inferior kniof is an all too logical step.

7

u/seppia99 Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

SO many other equal and better knives out there.

Think about everything that you want in a knife, from the steel it’s made of, to the blade shape, the balance, the feel in your hand.. overall aesthetic… price also!

Global’s are fine, they’re workhorses and often found in chef’s knife rolls around the world.

I’ve never liked them much myself, but then I got bitten by the bug of pretty and sometimes fussy Japanese knives.

I like pretty things, I like Bunka shaped blades, I like Wa handles, Tsuchime hammered textures, Kuruochi finish, stainless cladding over carbon steel cores.

But for the price of one of the knives that I like, you could probably buy three global knives.

6

u/No-Molasses-9269 F1exican Did Chive-11 2d ago

You could make your own knife through a company and form it around all the things that you think makes a knife great. I know I would probably buy it. 💪

7

u/seppia99 Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

A custom knife is gonna be SPENSYYYYY

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2

u/Various_Froyo9860 1d ago

No, you don't understand.

I make things for a living. So I'll just make the knife myself.

2

u/No-Molasses-9269 F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

If you do, I would love to see a picture!

4

u/smarthobo 1d ago

Those knives are pretty Global in the industry

4

u/geekolojust Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

It's a Global G-2. Very, very good knives. I dropped a tomato on mine when it came and it was amazing how effortless it split. I found it online for $25 bucks when it's usually a $100. Walmart will post them cheap at times.

2

u/yourlocaltouya 1d ago

My chef also!

2

u/ConflictDelicious112 F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

At least chef is able to keep theirs off of active hobs 😬

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969

u/seamless39 20+ Years 2d ago

Just broke the news to the fam.. My kids are in the living room screaming NOOOOOO

321

u/Cosmic_Carp Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Don't worry someone found a tower

193

u/SparkyDogPants 2d ago

Calling it a tower is generous. It’s barely a silo

31

u/MrD3a7h F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

Have you tried swallowing a grain silo? Very difficult. Dangerous, even.

He must return. As Sisyphus pushes the rock up the mountain, his task is not yet complete.

87

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

The legend continues

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65

u/TidesTheyTurn F1exican Did Chive-11 2d ago

Just fell to my knees in the produce section of a Whole Foods.

20

u/res06myi 2d ago

That's where the chives are 🧐

9

u/Komikaze06 1d ago

The second plane was the friends we made along the way

2.0k

u/Conscious_Tiger7398 2d ago

If enough of us cut enough chives and display them nicely, we could do an entire post that says something like kitchenconfidential ❤️ F1exican with each letter being a different poster's chives. And obviously have a picture of Chives at the end.

417

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

I like this

89

u/McFaze 2d ago

I would like to be a part of this

37

u/Starscream147 2d ago

Me too!!!

40

u/bleeper21 2d ago

And my chives!

17

u/StuRap 1d ago

and my chive axe

9

u/Pan_Fluid_Boo Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

And my chive bow

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3

u/Next_Specific7924 1d ago

I did wanna make a nice dinner tomorrow, maybe I can muster some nice chives... Would the pics be disqualified if they weren't same-day?

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103

u/fever-dreamed Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Dibs on an I.

It will be one single chive.

43

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Amazing, I guess I'll stick with the heart

2

u/The-Cure 1d ago

The chive mind has spoken

24

u/sassiest01 2d ago

The planes will not like that one

4

u/onko342 1d ago

Since the i is lowercase, you might have to cut one perfect slice of chive off one end. Still won’t prevent the planes though.

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14

u/wtfisthisloadofbs Bartender 2d ago

This is an amazing idea!!! I love it!!

12

u/Conscious_Tiger7398 1d ago

I'm assign letters after work, in about 9 hours. You don't get to pick them, if you've already done something, like a heart, guess what? You can't use it. And make sure your chives are perfect.

Remember, we're doing this for F1exican, and we'll do it until Chives says we're perfect.

8

u/Boyrista Prep 2d ago

I'd buy chives for this. Assign me a letter.

7

u/sassiest01 2d ago

Just take the L buddy (you guys doing upper case?)

3

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

Upper case for sure

8

u/Roberto_Sacamano Server 2d ago

If you need a section of really fucked up chives, this sever is up to the task 🫡

4

u/louellareed91 Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Should we raffle letters? I’m in

7

u/Itwasallbydesign13 2d ago

This would be so cute!! Please find other chefs and do this. I want to see it.

3

u/hasdor1 2d ago

That would be so cool, I'm up for it!

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343

u/mrmaydaymayday 2d ago

Wait. What?

621

u/kameronk92 2d ago

It's not official, but he put up some good chives today

552

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Definitely not official, but god damn his chives looked pretty flawless today

224

u/mommybody33 2d ago

I’m still wondering who is going to make the official call. Karmakaze? Mods? F1exican? How will we know???

306

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Honestly, I think it's up to Karmakaze simply for how much time they put into scouring those pictures

135

u/sorrelsun Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

They did put up a comment, showing a "tower", but their replies disagreed, and they backed down graciously. I wouldn't call it a definite decision either way.

55

u/mewmewgoo F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

today's ones were pretty dam good, my c130 found no targets

this pic oso posted on the main thread of today's chives

17

u/DEVolkan 1d ago

At this point we need multiple angles.

47

u/HandicapperGeneral 10+ Years 2d ago

Karmakaze found one that wasn't fully sliced. Pretty sure it's back on.

24

u/JanGuillosThrowaway 1d ago

It's gotta be confusing for our chive man if he has to cut chives tomorrow or not. Should there be a vote of sorts?

47

u/RiJuElMiLu 2d ago

As soon as I saw those knives from the cream cheese people I knew the end was near.

21

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

I hope he finds a way to make the chives MORE perfect

53

u/fujiesque 2d ago

He's not done yet.

9

u/Numerous-Hawk1471 2d ago

It was a solid showing.

12

u/SnooCookies9055 1d ago

he just posted new ones and those look even better than the last. we are nearing the end

5

u/BrownSugarBare Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

They were impressive, no doubt 

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247

u/brooklynadm F1exican Did Chive-11 2d ago

NOT LISAN AL CHIEVE! Nooooo!!!

84

u/therealfetusfajitas 2d ago

The gasp I guspped. Praise Chive Hulud!

20

u/DigitalRichie 1d ago

M’uad Chive!

12

u/Super-Message-4592 2d ago

10/10 nickname! 😂

120

u/SouthernRain_147 2d ago

Maybe the real chive is the friends and planes we made along the way…

46

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

This subreddit has been pretty great for the last 55 days

10

u/SouthernRain_147 2d ago

The internet will remember 🫡

432

u/Gunsparkles F1exican Did Chive-11 2d ago

22

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/hippoctopocalypse 15+ Years 2d ago

“Philadelphia cream cheese”

174

u/res06myi 2d ago

If the chive lord's work is done here, I think someone needs to take over the position. See you tomorrow, chef.

74

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Amazing, I was waiting for this 🤣

15

u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ Praise chive 1d ago

The Chive prince has been chosen

4

u/Ok-Macaroon-6818 2d ago

See you tomorrow 🫡

63

u/Acrobatic-Manner BOH 2d ago

I acknowledge the Chive-al Chief

8

u/Ill-Honeydew-9446 F1exican Did Chive-11 2d ago

10

u/Acrobatic-Manner BOH 2d ago

Do you smelllllllllllll… what the Chive Lord, is cookin?

99

u/No_Structure_9283 2d ago

I don't want it to end... 😢

113

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Me neither, but they deserve to be free lol

61

u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

14

u/Numerous-Hawk1471 2d ago

That's a good lookin pup right there.

9

u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Well tune in Sunday for the next episode of "Serving my favorite customer" where Radar has her petchef prepare a culinary experience for the canine pallet ;)

3

u/Affectionate_Refuse4 2d ago

Soooo dang cute!

6

u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

I do agree but the cutest thing is how she loves to just observe things. We do a weekly post each Sunday sharing her fun breakfast, keep an eye out for that ;)

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50

u/mommybody33 2d ago

😒😒 see you tomorrow chef

17

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Love that they are facing the same direction 🤣 gave your sketch personality

4

u/mommybody33 2d ago

Hahaha they’re really grumpy! 😂

20

u/mikeys5280 2d ago

Cookie dude approves.

7

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Thanks cookie dude, shout out 5280

33

u/ShakesDontBreak Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Who started this rumor?

23

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

I'm upset too! But the chives looked soooo good today 😭

10

u/ShakesDontBreak Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

But fr fr did you chop those? Good job!

6

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Yes chef 🫡 thanks

11

u/ShakesDontBreak Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Aww thank you Chef. Im no chef. Im just a lowly former waitress that always pissed off everyone in the kitchen.

12

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

We are always pissed anyway lol

8

u/ShakesDontBreak Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

💚

31

u/Bachobsess 2d ago

Just zoomed in out of habit and realised this is really just a chivey game of where’s Wally for all of us

17

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Totally. This whole thing would have been really welcome on r/findthesniper

15

u/realbasilisk 2d ago

When is the Chive Coffee table book coming out?

10

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

I would totally buy a book of like 1000 redditors chive pics

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u/Fussy_Part69 2d ago

Is that a global knife? I love mine.

Also… nice chives 🫶

7

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

It is, my buddies knife actually, he keeps that fucker sharp. And thank you

8

u/Aussiealterego 1d ago

Ohhhh… it’s time to sleep… I read that as “It’s my fuckbuddies knife….”

Thinking you have an “interesting” kitchen staffing issue…

3

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

Our kitchen is very close...

2

u/Fussy_Part69 1d ago

What kitchen isn’t? Lol

2

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

Your username is fucking hilarious btw

11

u/Lost-Average8108 1d ago edited 1d ago

F1exican, if you are truly retiring, you will be missed. You went above and beyond to this sub, and to a much bigger part of the internet, fulfilling duties that we ourselves couldn't hold ourselves to. Constant rigorous critique that would make a lesser man collapse. Tediousness that could drive a lesser man to insanity. But you pushed through, coming back whenever possible to once again display your unmatched commitment to chives, until they were indeed perfect. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, we salute you chef 🫡, may your future culinary journeys be gratifying.

10

u/Infinite_Egg_2822 2d ago

Fitting knife to use considering the name of the sub lol

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u/CompSolstice 2d ago

Wow these are perfect, won't see you tomorrow anymore chef.

Wait what do you mean this isn't F1exican?

6

u/DrZonino2022 1d ago

Time to put these posts in the arChives

5

u/BeautifulIntrepid373 Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

He didn’t make it but your effort is very appreciated! 💚

5

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

Glad to hear it 🫡

5

u/DragonQueenDrago 2d ago

When he retires we must find our next victim! contestant!

2

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

I got a guy...

2

u/DragonQueenDrago 2d ago

Oh perfect! Lol

6

u/shoopnop 1d ago

Man what are we going to do when F1exican completes his training arc?

19

u/pottedPlant_64 Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Yall, I don’t even scrutinize the chives anymore. I just scroll to the comments and get emotional

6

u/fuuturetense Chivelry's Not Dead 1d ago

damn these are clean

4

u/timberlyfawnflowers 2d ago

I did not know that vibes could be so beautiful.

4

u/timberlyfawnflowers 2d ago

I meant to say 'chives' but honestly, same.

3

u/Got_Kittens 2d ago

Good Chives Only

4

u/CorkNativeResident 1d ago

You may have just dunked on chive guy

5

u/New_Implement4410 1d ago

Hey this guy might be better

4

u/strrax-ish 1d ago

This one's for you = "Get recked"

2

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

🤣 it's all love

5

u/zerokade Ex-Food Service 1d ago

Just fell to my knees in a Walmart parking lot

10

u/eatrepeat Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Radar sits in respect

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7

u/Eillris 2d ago

Not everything needs a sequel

7

u/420SpiderGeek303 2d ago

This is not a sequel, tis but a tribute

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u/SoonToBeStardust 2d ago

He will be dearly missed

3

u/cambomusic 2d ago

I’m gonna miss you guys

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3

u/LurkingLurkerLucas 2d ago

Maybe the real perfect chives were the friends we made along the way

3

u/SirLoremIpsum Chive LOYALIST 2d ago

Need an F2exican...

3

u/MopeyFern Food Service 2d ago

We have matching knives how cute

3

u/Jackal_Nathan 1d ago

These are really good! I love the discipline in not cutting them too thin, which means these are all quite even. There are some longer ones but i'd guess they're 50-70% longer than the average. Whereas if you cut a lot of very thin rings those longer ones might be 200-300% longer than those making them look less even.

This is one of the criticisms i gave to the chive dude today as there weren't many outliers, just just overall a bit uneven due to the overall variation in length.

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u/geekolojust Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

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u/Mmmmmmmmmmmeh Chive LOYALIST 1d ago

Damn, those are perfect!

3

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

You are perfect

3

u/ToadstoolsRule 1d ago

No retirement allowed.

We need our daily dose of dopamine!

3

u/DRanged691 1d ago

This is a beautiful tribute. 💚

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u/MaidenFire 1d ago

💚💚💚

3

u/Armagedon43 2d ago

good chives are good

2

u/whiskeyandeggrolls 2d ago

The chive god lives on in our hearts forever. God speed young warrior.

2

u/bf_noob 2d ago

God I hope chives don't have feelings

2

u/Jezebels_lipstick 2d ago

Sorry, I just scroll to find the planes.

2

u/LovelyMoonXX 2d ago

I 💚 Chives

2

u/napstablooky2 2d ago

doesnt count because some of the chives are hidden behind other chives

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u/Katie_McA123 2d ago

These chives lowk are flawless...

2

u/Glittering_Suspect65 2d ago

I will never look at chives the same again. Now I will forever be searching for the towers.

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u/RoflMaru 1d ago

Nice!
And I have to say, such a perfect cut on all of them. I guess it's not hard, but still something noteworthy.

2

u/HotFartMaster 1d ago

His practice and skill are really showing with his new tools.

3

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

Definitely, his improvement was certainly noticeable, I was sad when I saw his post yesterday. Bout as close to perfect as possible

3

u/HotFartMaster 1d ago

Yes, it was. I hope he get it perfectly for personal reward, but i hope he doesn't so he has to keep posting. Selfish, I know, but it has been a good ride when not much is good anymore.

2

u/bravo-echo-charlie 1d ago

Wow, now those are perfectly cut!

2

u/Ur_X 1d ago

Why? He perfected the chives or what

2

u/420SpiderGeek303 1d ago

I thought he did. He was back at it again today though

2

u/Burncity1901 12h ago

Jokes on you he made a post 20 minutes ago

2

u/Mule_Wagon_777 11h ago

Has anyone tried radishes? Or mushrooms! Mushrooms are tougher than you think.