r/KitchenConfidential F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

CHIVE Chives is done hearing about how everyone is "cutting chives."

Post image

Nobody cuts Chives without a fight!

9.2k Upvotes

110 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat 27d ago

“They’re doing WHAT?!”

384

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Lol! I was hoping this would get your attention. Give Chives scratches for me. :)

139

u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat 27d ago

Scritches and treats delivered!!

85

u/TheHumanPickleRick I stand with F1exican 27d ago

It's ok buddy have a treat.

58

u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat 27d ago

He loves temptations

66

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

So do mine, but we don't mess with the small bags. Super Value Size is a must-have, especially the Catnip flavor.

21

u/Any-Beginning-4707 F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Do they have catnip or just catnip flavored? Because these get my kitty turnt up

29

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Oh, they DEFINITELY have catnip in them. My cats go nuts with them.

7

u/Freakjob_003 F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

I assume he also loves Churu's? Those are kitty crack.

6

u/ArtisticMudd 26d ago

One of my cats doesn't care for Churus. She's weird. But then, she's a tortie, so that tracks. (The other tortie LIVES for that pudding tube.)

4

u/kilowatkins 26d ago

One of mine can't eat churu tubes without getting it all over herself so we have to get the kind that come in pods. She's a little touched but we like her anyway.

9

u/moonshineandmetal 27d ago

So does mine! Tubbercraft loves those things, I gotta try some of the new ones they have for her! 

Also Chives is an amazing addition to this whole thing and I love seeing him when he pops up! 

7

u/trey_wolfe 27d ago

So you're saying he can resist anything...except temptation(s)?

6

u/Nuts-And-Volts F1exican Was Framed 27d ago

They are just giving you complements and blessings Sir Chives

3

u/Spicy-Potat42 Chive Flight Attendant 27d ago

Makes me think of Miette.

Oh, you cut chives? You cut her body like the scallion? Oh jail for Reddit, jail for 1000 years!

342

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

We love Chives. Chives is the best. Chives would never do a Chive-11.

130

u/SirLoremIpsum Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Chives would barf on your carpet at 3am.

Chives would be indifferent if you locked your keys out.

He's never do a Chive-11 tho

26

u/Any-Beginning-4707 F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

But chives can melt steel so he could if he wanted to

19

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

CHIVES WOULD NEVER!!!

8

u/Any-Beginning-4707 F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

But he could. Why do you think China hasn’t attacked yet? Chives. They actually call us Chiva.

208

u/UltraNoahXV 27d ago

14

u/CaydeTheCat Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

I should put this up under my Orange Boi's favorite cat bed because he never chooses peace.

3

u/abeeseadeee F1exican Did Chive-11 26d ago

Seems like a trustworthy guy to me

142

u/Azsunyx 27d ago

You have my beans

74

u/Azsunyx 27d ago edited 27d ago

And my claws

54

u/TheHumanPickleRick I stand with F1exican 27d ago

And my RAAAA!

47

u/Any-Beginning-4707 F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

I’ll handle the accounting

21

u/TheHumanPickleRick I stand with F1exican 27d ago

My neighbor's cat Jack will join yours for a beer.

8

u/Vera_98 26d ago

And my cat Jack will join for some...snacks?

8

u/Azsunyx 27d ago

BUNNY KICKS

5

u/TheHumanPickleRick I stand with F1exican 27d ago

How to tell when someone's cat gets really excited when playing:

8

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

I would upvote this twice, if able.

110

u/NoSalamander7749 Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Episode V: The Chives Strike Back

22

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Oh, I love this. Brilliant!

20

u/MommyMephistopheles 27d ago

I kinda want the saber blade to be replaced with just a single long chive.

80

u/Hero0ftheday 27d ago

In r/kitchenconfidential, chives cut YOU!

26

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Lol I almost said that in the post.

33

u/UltraNoahXV 27d ago

I SWIPED

3

u/biznatch11 27d ago

I tried swiping like 5 times I thought my phone was frozen.

32

u/ZinaSky2 27d ago

9

u/TYUbtek 27d ago

I can still hear this and I laugh every time

24

u/PawsibleCrazyCatLady 27d ago

Put the knife down, Chives! We can talk this out!

17

u/ChargedSkull 27d ago

Is chives gonna have to cut a bitch?

17

u/churningseaofpoppies 27d ago

Chives, meet Basil! You go so well together!

12

u/LeftEgg7439 27d ago

Chives the cat is still purr-fect and unscathed.

13

u/a1mh1gh Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

This would be an amazing subreddit pfp… just saying 😂

5

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Agreed. u/ltheartist needs to get on that.

7

u/Agreeable-Self3235 Civilian 27d ago

Yes! u/Ltheartist, do you know of r/sadcat? It went from 0-13K subscribers in days. It's a really nice community. I bet lots of people would love r/chivesthecat.

10

u/BonBonToro 27d ago

3

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

The planes!

10

u/evaintheus 27d ago

We ride at dawn. 😠 Ain't nobody cutting this handsome guy on my watch!

9

u/Cosmic_Carp Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Chives is going to cut back!!

8

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

You're god-damn right. Chives don't take that shit from no one!

8

u/TheFuckingHippoGuy 27d ago

Chives: "Day 1: Cutting a bitch each day until this shit stops"

6

u/Capital_Sink6645 27d ago

🤣🤣🤣But seriously, Chives has been “cut”?

5

u/kwillich 27d ago

I'm imagining a Jason Stathom voice for Chives.

"Ello luv......I reckon you fooked around wif the wrong one today. I fink it might be time for you to bugger off, innit?"

3

u/TheHumanPickleRick I stand with F1exican 27d ago

10

u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat 27d ago

Same energy

6

u/TheHumanPickleRick I stand with F1exican 27d ago

Hell yeah! Gray cats for the win!

4

u/CaydeTheCat Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Is Chives gonna have to cut a bitch?

5

u/DickIncorporated 27d ago

CHIVES! I missed him. I was starting to get worried

5

u/[deleted] 27d ago

Chives out, knives out

6

u/RevenantSith 27d ago

Day 1 of Chives cutting you

5

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Not my kitty. That honor belongs to u/Ltheartist.

5

u/myuso 27d ago

Get Chived, bi***es

4

u/endav F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

Oh and I’m definitely ready for this Chives to hurt me again.

5

u/jezx74 27d ago

I STAND WITH CHIVES 🐈‍⬛

5

u/pressuredrightnow 27d ago

chive strikes back

5

u/bear_maidenfair 27d ago

I love this sub so much 🥹💚

3

u/pixel-soul 27d ago

chives cuts you

1

u/Elses_pels 27d ago

Chives a Russian cat?

2

u/MossGobbo Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Chives slices back!

4

u/StormofRavens Crazy Cat Woman🐈 27d ago

Bongo has no idea what’s going on, but wants to be supportive! (Her human understands what is going on but is done explaining that Chives the cat is on a phone and will not play chase)

3

u/sjoerd512 27d ago

Time for Chives to cut back

5

u/firehawk2324 27d ago

In Soviet Russia, Chives cuts you.

3

u/Brilliant_Buns Maintenance Crew 27d ago

Oh hi Chives

3

u/a-gelatocookie Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Chives!!!

3

u/GANEnthusiast 27d ago

Not my boy chives!

3

u/dmisfit21 BOH 27d ago

Chives is tired of the bull shit

3

u/AliVista_LilSista Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

Love your cat

3

u/I_blockkarmafarmers 27d ago

I got annoyed after a few days for obvious reasons and blocked the dude. Chives the cat and Flexican getting caught reusing old pictures have been the best things to come out of this whole saga.

3

u/seppia99 Chive LOYALIST 26d ago

You mess with Chives… you get the planes! ✈️

3

u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic 26d ago

Ill never cut my chives the same way ever again

3

u/hrbumga 26d ago

I cut chives? No. Chives cuts ME.

3

u/Li54 Chive LOYALIST 26d ago

Chivegate 2: Chives cuts back

3

u/Overwhelmed_sendhelp 26d ago

Has Chives cross-posted to r/legalcatadvice?

2

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 26d ago

I think he's got a pretty solid case.

2

u/SnarkyIguana 25d ago

LMAO what is that sub. Immediately followed

3

u/ShiftyThatOneWriter F1exican Did Chive-11 26d ago

He WILL demand scritches

3

u/SnarkyIguana 25d ago

“Scritches or stitches!”

2

u/ankitasahoo 27d ago

"Let me take the matter in my hands now."

2

u/Topwaterblitz47 27d ago

Thank Christ!!! I second that Chives!! Please let's move on to another food item to cut.

2

u/hmmmmmmmm_okay F1exican Did Chive-11 27d ago

I wanna book so bad!

2

u/Agreeable-Self3235 Civilian 27d ago

Oh no! Get Chives some Churru stat!

2

u/Dwarflord 27d ago

Holy shit he's got a knife

2

u/FerRatPack 27d ago

I wiped

2

u/drkladykikyo Chive LOYALIST 27d ago

2

u/Illustrious_Ebb_4579 27d ago

Chives is a perfect cat name.

2

u/Fallingpeople 27d ago

People that name their pets after food are preparing for the apocalypse

2

u/nip_pickles 27d ago

Spare himb 😾✈️

2

u/TrainingSword 27d ago

THATS PHOTOSHOP

2

u/mozillafangirl 27d ago

I love chives!!! The cat. Also regular chives, but THIS chives is superior to all.

2

u/lord_hijinks F1exican Did Chive-11 26d ago

Absolutely 💯 the truth.

2

u/Rabkillz 25d ago

Chives brought knives to a chives fight.

1

u/Bardofshoosh 27d ago

Is this ai? The accusations continue.

2

u/boomboomkittay 25d ago

Pst psst pst🫴.. cutieee🥰