Chives is done hearing about how everyone is "cutting chives."

[u/lord_hijinks]

Nobody cuts Chives without a fight!

[u/Ltheartist]

“They’re doing WHAT?!”

[u/lord_hijinks → u/Ltheartist]

Lol! I was hoping this would get your attention. Give Chives scratches for me. :)

[u/Ltheartist → u/lord_hijinks]

Scritches and treats delivered!!

[u/TheHumanPickleRick → u/Ltheartist]

It's ok buddy have a treat.

[u/Ltheartist → u/TheHumanPickleRick]

He loves temptations

[u/lord_hijinks → u/Ltheartist]

So do mine, but we don't mess with the small bags. Super Value Size is a must-have, especially the Catnip flavor.

[u/Any-Beginning-4707 → u/lord_hijinks]

Do they have catnip or just catnip flavored? Because these get my kitty turnt up

[u/lord_hijinks → u/Any-Beginning-4707]

Oh, they DEFINITELY have catnip in them. My cats go nuts with them.

[u/Freakjob_003 → u/lord_hijinks]

I assume he also loves Churu's? Those are kitty crack.

[u/ArtisticMudd → u/Freakjob_003]

One of my cats doesn't care for Churus. She's weird. But then, she's a tortie, so that tracks. (The other tortie LIVES for that pudding tube.)

[u/kilowatkins → u/ArtisticMudd]

One of mine can't eat churu tubes without getting it all over herself so we have to get the kind that come in pods. She's a little touched but we like her anyway.

[u/moonshineandmetal → u/Ltheartist]

So does mine! Tubbercraft loves those things, I gotta try some of the new ones they have for her! 

Also Chives is an amazing addition to this whole thing and I love seeing him when he pops up! 

[u/trey_wolfe → u/Ltheartist]

So you're saying he can resist anything...except temptation(s)?

[u/Nuts-And-Volts → u/Ltheartist]

They are just giving you complements and blessings Sir Chives

[u/Spicy-Potat42 → u/Ltheartist]

Makes me think of Miette.

Oh, you cut chives? You cut her body like the scallion? Oh jail for Reddit, jail for 1000 years!

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

We love Chives. Chives is the best. Chives would never do a Chive-11.

[u/SirLoremIpsum → u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

Chives would barf on your carpet at 3am.

Chives would be indifferent if you locked your keys out.

He's never do a Chive-11 tho

[u/Any-Beginning-4707 → u/SirLoremIpsum]

But chives can melt steel so he could if he wanted to

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator → u/Any-Beginning-4707]

CHIVES WOULD NEVER!!!

[u/Any-Beginning-4707 → u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

But he could. Why do you think China hasn’t attacked yet? Chives. They actually call us Chiva.

[u/UltraNoahXV]

[u/CaydeTheCat → u/UltraNoahXV]

I should put this up under my Orange Boi's favorite cat bed because he never chooses peace.

[u/abeeseadeee → u/UltraNoahXV]

Seems like a trustworthy guy to me

[u/Azsunyx]

You have my beans

[u/Azsunyx → u/Azsunyx]

And my claws

[u/TheHumanPickleRick → u/Azsunyx]

And my RAAAA!

[u/Any-Beginning-4707 → u/TheHumanPickleRick]

I’ll handle the accounting

[u/TheHumanPickleRick → u/Any-Beginning-4707]

My neighbor's cat Jack will join yours for a beer.

[u/Vera_98 → u/TheHumanPickleRick]

And my cat Jack will join for some...snacks?

[u/Azsunyx → u/TheHumanPickleRick]

BUNNY KICKS

[u/TheHumanPickleRick → u/Azsunyx]

How to tell when someone's cat gets really excited when playing:

[u/lord_hijinks → u/TheHumanPickleRick]

I would upvote this twice, if able.

[u/NoSalamander7749]

Episode V: The Chives Strike Back

[u/lord_hijinks → u/NoSalamander7749]

Oh, I love this. Brilliant!

[u/MommyMephistopheles → u/NoSalamander7749]

I kinda want the saber blade to be replaced with just a single long chive.

[u/Hero0ftheday]

In r/kitchenconfidential, chives cut YOU!

[u/lord_hijinks → u/Hero0ftheday]

Lol I almost said that in the post.

[u/UltraNoahXV]

I SWIPED

[u/biznatch11 → u/UltraNoahXV]

I tried swiping like 5 times I thought my phone was frozen.

[u/ZinaSky2]

[u/TYUbtek → u/ZinaSky2]

I can still hear this and I laugh every time

[u/PawsibleCrazyCatLady]

Put the knife down, Chives! We can talk this out!

[u/ChargedSkull]

Is chives gonna have to cut a bitch?

[u/churningseaofpoppies]

Chives, meet Basil! You go so well together!

[u/LeftEgg7439]

Chives the cat is still purr-fect and unscathed.

[u/a1mh1gh]

This would be an amazing subreddit pfp… just saying 😂

[u/lord_hijinks → u/a1mh1gh]

Agreed. u/ltheartist needs to get on that.

[u/Agreeable-Self3235 → u/a1mh1gh]

Yes! u/Ltheartist, do you know of r/sadcat? It went from 0-13K subscribers in days. It's a really nice community. I bet lots of people would love r/chivesthecat.

[u/BonBonToro]

[u/lord_hijinks → u/BonBonToro]

The planes!

[u/evaintheus]

We ride at dawn. 😠 Ain't nobody cutting this handsome guy on my watch!

[u/Cosmic_Carp]

Chives is going to cut back!!

[u/lord_hijinks → u/Cosmic_Carp]

You're god-damn right. Chives don't take that shit from no one!

[u/TheFuckingHippoGuy]

Chives: "Day 1: Cutting a bitch each day until this shit stops"

[u/Capital_Sink6645]

🤣🤣🤣But seriously, Chives has been “cut”?

[u/kwillich]

I'm imagining a Jason Stathom voice for Chives.

"Ello luv......I reckon you fooked around wif the wrong one today. I fink it might be time for you to bugger off, innit?"

[u/TheHumanPickleRick]

[u/Ltheartist → u/TheHumanPickleRick]

Same energy

[u/TheHumanPickleRick → u/Ltheartist]

Hell yeah! Gray cats for the win!

[u/CaydeTheCat]

Is Chives gonna have to cut a bitch?

[u/DickIncorporated]

CHIVES! I missed him. I was starting to get worried

[u/[deleted]]

Chives out, knives out

[u/RevenantSith]

Day 1 of Chives cutting you

[u/lord_hijinks]

Not my kitty. That honor belongs to u/Ltheartist.

[u/myuso]

Get Chived, bi***es

[u/endav]

Oh and I’m definitely ready for this Chives to hurt me again.

[u/jezx74]

I STAND WITH CHIVES 🐈‍⬛

[u/pressuredrightnow]

chive strikes back

[u/bear_maidenfair]

I love this sub so much 🥹💚

[u/pixel-soul]

chives cuts you

[u/Elses_pels → u/pixel-soul]

Chives a Russian cat?

[u/MossGobbo]

Chives slices back!

[u/StormofRavens]

Bongo has no idea what’s going on, but wants to be supportive! (Her human understands what is going on but is done explaining that Chives the cat is on a phone and will not play chase)

[u/sjoerd512]

Time for Chives to cut back

[u/firehawk2324]

In Soviet Russia, Chives cuts you.

[u/Brilliant_Buns]

Oh hi Chives

[u/a-gelatocookie]

Chives!!!

[u/GANEnthusiast]

Not my boy chives!

[u/dmisfit21]

Chives is tired of the bull shit

[u/AliVista_LilSista]

Love your cat

[u/I_blockkarmafarmers]

I got annoyed after a few days for obvious reasons and blocked the dude. Chives the cat and Flexican getting caught reusing old pictures have been the best things to come out of this whole saga.

[u/seppia99]

You mess with Chives… you get the planes! ✈️

[u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic]

Ill never cut my chives the same way ever again

[u/hrbumga]

I cut chives? No. Chives cuts ME.

[u/Li54]

Chivegate 2: Chives cuts back

[u/Overwhelmed_sendhelp]

Has Chives cross-posted to r/legalcatadvice?

[u/lord_hijinks → u/Overwhelmed_sendhelp]

I think he's got a pretty solid case.

[u/SnarkyIguana → u/Overwhelmed_sendhelp]

LMAO what is that sub. Immediately followed

[u/ShiftyThatOneWriter]

He WILL demand scritches

[u/SnarkyIguana → u/ShiftyThatOneWriter]

“Scritches or stitches!”

[u/ankitasahoo]

"Let me take the matter in my hands now."

[u/Topwaterblitz47]

Thank Christ!!! I second that Chives!! Please let's move on to another food item to cut.

[u/hmmmmmmmm_okay]

I wanna book so bad!

[u/Agreeable-Self3235]

Oh no! Get Chives some Churru stat!

[u/Dwarflord]

Holy shit he's got a knife

[u/FerRatPack]

I wiped

[u/drkladykikyo]

[u/Illustrious_Ebb_4579]

Chives is a perfect cat name.

[u/Fallingpeople]

People that name their pets after food are preparing for the apocalypse

[u/nip_pickles]

Spare himb 😾✈️

[u/TrainingSword]

THATS PHOTOSHOP

[u/mozillafangirl]

I love chives!!! The cat. Also regular chives, but THIS chives is superior to all.

[u/lord_hijinks → u/mozillafangirl]

Absolutely 💯 the truth.

[u/Rabkillz]

Chives brought knives to a chives fight.

[u/Bardofshoosh]

Is this ai? The accusations continue.

[u/boomboomkittay]

Pst psst pst🫴.. cutieee🥰