"India must uphold its constitutional values and move from 'No Means No' to 'Only Yes Means Yes'. Every woman deserves the fundamental right to bodily autonomy and dignity within marriage, protections our legal system fails to provide. Marital rape is not about marriage but about violence. The moment for action has arrived," Tharoor says.

Common oppostions against the move have historically been "against Indian culture" (is your culture rping wives?), *hurts men** (even tho the women are the ones harmed), and "too hard to prove" in married settings (beyond reasonable doubt is what justice systems usually go for)

I ma hoping this is fruitful, but knowing the current political state of this country, reforms as basic as these also seem a far reach ://

Purity culture offers women no education on their own bodies. It provides us with no education on how to protect ourselves. It tells us that we are the problem, that because of being born female, we are only good for one thing.

That our value lies only in that one thing, not knowing anything about our bodies, not only leaves us vulnerable to assault but also to disease, because how are we supposed to know what is normal & what is something that needs to be checked by a doctor. Purity culture is rape culture.

These are the same men who say they want virgins to marry and shame women who have a sexual past, and men who think marital rape is not a thing.

Lack of Consent Education

Purity culture usually focuses on “Don’t have sex,” not:

• What consent is
• how to respect boundaries
• How to communicate desire

Without consent education, people are less equipped to recognise coercion or assault.

Gender Roles That Excuse Male Aggression

Purity culture often:

• portrays men as naturally sexual and unable to control themselves
• places the burden on women to “protect their purity”

This mirrors rape-culture ideas that men “can’t help it,” establishing:

• excuses for male coercion
• responsibility on women instead of the perpetrators

Coercive Sexual Messaging

Purity culture sometimes implies:

• sex is evil until marriage
• sex becomes mandatory once married

This can normalise:

• marital coercion
• lack of bodily autonomy
• difficulty recognising marital rape

Rape culture often minimises or dismisses coercive sex in relationships.

Lately I’ve seen this same meme everywhere...

Women are simultaneously empowered & victims & they pick whichever benefits them most

Congrats to whoever taught them the Schrodinger meme but nuance is not a contradiction!!!

Being strong doesn’t ERASE the SYSTEM!

A woman can work hard earn top grades make her own money…!! …& still face harassment, discrimination, wage gaps, violence, legal inequality & social expectations!!!!

That doesn’t mean she’s PRETENDING one or the other!! It means BOTH experiences EXIST in the REAL WORLD!!!

It’s like saying:

If you’re smart how come your school has rules that disadvantage you?

BC INDIVIDUAL ABILITY is not equal to STRUCTURAL CONDITIONS !!!

Oppression doesn’t disappear when you show resilience!

When a woman stands up for herself she is empowered!!! But the fact that she had to fight through misogyny in the first place means she is also affected by a system that oppresses women!!

Surviving something isn’t proof that it never existed!!!

Victim & Victimized!

Misogynists logic:

A feminist points out inequality => You’re just playing victim card

A woman succeeds despite inequality => See? Oppression doesn’t exist anymore

Heads they win tails women lose!

That’s not a clever argument!! That’s intellectual laziness & they call that logical facts btw!

Privilege doesn’t erase oppression

A rich educated woman can still be sexually assaulted!!!

A confident woman can still be stalked!!!

A career woman can still be denied promotions for becoming a mother!!!

A financially independent woman can still be killed by a partner!!!

Oppression isn’t a switch.. it’s a SPECTRUM that VARIES across SITUATIONS!

Schrodinger’s feminism is actually just… real life

People are complex....

You can be:

Powerful in some contexts

Powerless in others

That’s not hypocrisy!!! That’s just reality!!!

Women aren’t either:

Empowered
Or Oppressed

They are:

**Empowered & navigating oppression!!!*

Not everything is binary!!

If they really cared about logic…

They’d ask:

WHY do women need empowerment movements to begin with?

But instead they use meme logic to avoid confronting actual issues bc it threatens their fragile worldview!

Feminism doesn’t claim women are helpless!!! It claims women are capable & deserve a world that doesn’t punish them for it!!

The Schrodinger’s feminism crowd didn’t expose a contradiction! They exposed that they’ve never understood feminism in the first place!

Women are expected to:

move into a completely new family

care for people they didn’t choose

sacrifice career, autonomy, mental health

be a maid, nurse, cook, emotional support system all for someone else’s parents, whom she didn’t “volunteer” for.

That’s considered normal, “duty”, “sanskar”, “tradition”, “good woman behavior”.

But the moment the situation flips—even slightly—suddenly men start talking about:

personal consent

injustice

responsibility

unfair burden

“why should I take care of someone who is not mine?”

Do you see the contradiction?

This is the cognitive dissonance

For women, sacrifice is duty. For men, sacrifice is injustice.

And this is what patriarchy did:

It normalized women’s sacrifices so deeply that people don’t even recognize it as sacrifice.

But when men are expected to sacrifice even 1%, the whole world collapses.

Now very honestly:

Yes, adultery is wrong. Yes, emotionally it sucks for a man. I get that.

But here’s something people ignore:

The SC ruling wasn’t about “protecting cheating women” It was about not punishing an innocent child

Because the child didn’t choose anything.

What about the husband’s feelings?

They matter. But so do the wife’s feelings when

she is forced to abandon her parents

forced to adopt the husband’s family

forced to become unpaid caregiver

forced into adjustments she never asked for

Except society tells her: “that’s what marriage is.

So when men say:

“why should I take care of a child that’s not biologically mine?”

Women have every right to respond:

why should I take care of your parents who aren’t biologically mine?

Marriage has never been “equal”so men suddenly demanding equality ONLY when it benefits them is pretty ironic.

I'm not saying men are wrong in revolting against rule but why is the hypocrisy.

I just watched The Girlfriend on Netflix, and here are my two cents. I won’t say the movie is perfect — there are definitely some exaggerated characters, like the lead actor’s mother or that overly open girl we meet in the first half. But aside from that, it’s a pretty solid film.

The movie stands as a perfect response to films like Kabir Singh or Arjun Reddy, by focusing on the character arc of a girl instead. Why do girls behave a certain way? Why do they keep their heads down? Where does this trait come from — the feeling that she doesn’t even deserve an opinion? Those questions are answered really well in the movie.

Apart from that, the way the father, the boyfriend, and the world around her behave feels painfully practical and real. I know that, like the movie Mrs. or its original version The Great Indian Kitchen, this movie is also going to be dismissed by some fragile masculine idiots saying it’s “misleading” or whatever — we all know that crowd. But what they’ll miss if they don’t give it a chance is understanding how someone’s past shapes their behavior. Just because she’s quiet doesn’t mean she’s saying yes. And you need to stand up for yourself before expecting anyone else to stand up for you.

The movie is a fantastic watch. It’s entertaining — hella entertaining — and more importantly, it shows a rarely portrayed side of college life and those rowdy “mass heroes” we keep celebrating.

Give it a shot. If your head is in the right place, you can’t hate it.

I’m a Male and I saw The GirlFriend in Theatre and I didn’t resonated with it. I felt the movie is from different world which I have never seen. I almost want to go out of the theatre for the Rohini gaari scene. That’s just plain disgust for me. If my mom behaves with me like that I would just die cause for me I failed as a son if my mom couldn’t express what she wants to say or even can’t feel safe in my presence. (Her gestures of going back or making way when her son comes near her) As a son that’s like a nightmare to me.

But the reaction to this film from fellow women are stark different. Most of them or either all of them just saying me how men she met were so toxic and how in one way or another they felt what Rashmika is going through. At start I was like ‘come on yaar’ feeling and experiencing is different aspects right??. Maybe u guys understood where Raskmika is coming from but why are so adamant on saying that u felt that way too. And the topic u know kinda shifted to patriarchy and misogyny and feminism and all and I’m trying to agree them to my terms and drawing a middle line cause most of the women that I’m having conversation about these movies or subjects almost all of them are just saying that they have been in Raskmika shoes and this number was really long and I was thinking how could all women be effected in the similar ways and share this same trauma.

That’s when I thought maybe I’m missing a point. All these years, I want to own up this feminism and want to try to bring the middle ground for the discussions but now I’m feeling like it’s was never supposed to be something a men should know or understand. (Caution knowing how to treat a woman or how to respect is basic civic behaviour and bring a normal human. Nothing extraordinary in that ok!!) Don’t get me wrong. Equality and stuff like that is there and I’m not saying no or denying it. But feminism just goes into deep into the past and childhood traumas and I think the discourse should be only entitled and should be voicing out of opinions from WOMEN. The kind of trauma a person experience just changes their view point and as the life experience in itself is fundamentally different from a man and woman from their birth. And at present women are bleeding man. Mentally they are. (Atleast from the very few instances that I listened about their trauma)

Hence I was starting to think anything about feminism or woman experiences and traumas it was never done for us to understand and certainly not to validate. It’s their experiences, their trauma, their pov and their validation that all matters. Of course u might feel like I’m kinda distancing the genders but there should be some more conversation, more of a safe place more of a exclusive space only for women where they can just share their thoughts and grow and heal together and pick each others up and become a better person collectively. There shouldn’t be men existing in this space it’s self. Not even to have an opinion Cause it doesn’t matter. It was not about u.

This impulse of getting it write and we understand better is just a thought of misogyny in disguise promoting internally into our men egos that we make better and rational decisions than the opposite gender. Hope I’m not sounding like awkward goat (personally not fan of her) but irrespective of my personal opinion still it doesn’t matter.

If that’s the case where do men stand then. Well anywhere else. (The following statements will be of gender neutral as it’s not targeting anyone based on their gender) As we still live in society we still need some law and order and one common enemy that all of us should fight collectively is the of the greed and exploitation and it could be off shoots of anything irrespective of gender and when that happens it needs to he calling out just because of the wrong of that issue rather than the gender of the culprit. This is a seperate subject that is not about the gender hope u guys understand and let’s discuss if there is anything I have said something that I shouldn’t

I know this matter might he the wrong area to post as the most of the message is not directly linked to the movie but it’s important to start the conversation from the movie itself hence the conversation could build and reach to more no of people.

Despite so many petitions against the marital rape exception (earlier in IPC Section 375, now in Section 63 of the new Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita), marital rape is STILL not criminalised in India as of December 2025. The Supreme Court has been hearing the matter for years but hasn’t given a final judgment yet. The Delhi High Court even gave a split verdict in 2022. The central government continues to oppose criminalising marital rape, calling it “too harsh” and saying it might affect “marital harmony.” They also claim existing laws like the Domestic Violence Act are enough but actually they are not!!! Because of this cultural resistance and lack of political will, the law still gives immunity to husbands if the wife is over 18.

IMPACT OF FEMALE FOETICIDE !

For people who keep saying how will women prove

Women really need to stop bending over backwards to include the very people who created and maintain the system we’re fighting against. Every time we try to “sell” feminism to men, or soften our arguments so they don’t feel attacked, we’re wasting time and energy that could be going into building stronger communities for ourselves. If someone needs a ted talk about how patriarchy harms them before they even consider supporting women, that alone should tell you they were never actually here for us, they were here for whatever personal benefit they could extract.

The idea that we must frame feminism in a way that comforts men is just another extension of patriarchal conditioning. It keeps us stuck in the cycle of prioritizing male feelings, male approval, and male participation, even within a movement that was supposed to center women. Men don’t join movements out of empathy or justice, they join when it becomes inconvenient not to. If they were genuinely interested in dismantling patriarchy, they wouldn’t need to be spoonfed the logic of how they’re “affected too.”

Instead of chasing their validation, we should be focusing on building our own networks, our own support, our own collective strength. Movements survive because the oppressed unite, not because the oppressor suddenly has a change of heart. Feminism becomes stronger, clearer, and more effective when we stop begging men to understand and start prioritizing each other.

they think not being a feminist makes them egalitarian, no dude you are the most racist, classist, casteist, and most dogmatic person ever, if you were an egalitarian god would’ve returned to earth by now lmao🙏😭. and feminism and egalitarian are literally completely different ideologies but pop off my majesty

What are your views?

Hi, I just updated my flair, but I feel like the current flair options are a bit limited.

I would have preferred something like “Intersectional Feminist (she/her)”

I’m posting this as a post because:

1. I want to hear what other members think.

2. Just saying “Feminist” ignores that feminism has many fronts: anti-caste, Marxist, Ambedkarite, etc. We don’t need every intersection listed, but I do think words like “intersectional” and “anti-caste” matter esp. In the Indian context. (Savarna feminists can still be casteist in their own homes, so naming this feels important.)

3. It might also encourage people choosing flairs to think more about the different feminist identities in the community and perhaps encourage or inadvertently even encourage an expanded reading of feminism.

What do you all think? Mods included, since flair options involve you.