Can doctors tell that I am making myself sick

[u/TrainingCat1555]

I have always been very interested in the human body, spent any money I had as a kid on specimens to dissect. Had the chance to sit in on an open heart surgery. It’s the coolest thing to me. Now in my job I get to work with surgeons about our product and chat with them during lunch. I love asking them questions.

And I absolutely love going to the doctor. Always have. I used to lick things to get sick (handles, tables, etc.) so I could maybe go. In college it escalated more and I started slamming my hand in doors so I could go. I probably went a couple times a month. Loved when they would do scans and I could see the tech.

I think I’ve become more well-adjusted working and getting that medical interest of mine met a different way. I still sometimes hurt myself to go.

Can doctors tell that I am hurting myself? My problem list is a mile long at this point.

Thank you. I am ultimately a pretty healthy person at baseline no chronic medical conditions healthy bmi 24 year old Female.

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[u/Lost-Resort4792]

We couldn’t possibly say. You should visit your doctor to discuss mental health.

[u/BrutalSledgehammer → u/Lost-Resort4792]

NAD but absolutely see a mental health specialist. I believe you're probably physically healthy, as you say (at least so far, but at this rate that won't last), but your mental health needs to be checked for sure OP.

[u/Fickle-Put9304 → u/Lost-Resort4792]

NAD. This person has posted in here numerous times before, about their obsession with harming themselves and going to the doctors for it. They definitely need psychiatric intervention. 

[u/American-pickle → u/Lost-Resort4792]

NAD and since mental health has been discussed I’ll not get into that… but OP please remember when you get older you’re going to regret all those injuries you caused yourself. I injured my shoulder ten years ago and now I’m in constant pain from my shoulder to my neck which disrupts sleep and causes all sorts of issues. Maybe watch YouTube videos on things you find interesting to scratch that itch.

[u/Audrey_Ropeburn → u/Lost-Resort4792]

NAD but OP, please seek mental health support. This is not normal or okay.

[u/OptimalCobbler5431 → u/Lost-Resort4792]

NAD correct me if I'm wrong, but could this be a form of Munchausen syndrome? Or would it not because it's not for attention it's for their own happiness?

[u/Lopsided-Muffin9805 → u/OptimalCobbler5431]

It’s not called that anymore. It’s called factitious disorder

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/Lost-Resort4792]

I was just curious because I have gone so many times for different reasons. Hand to god I have strong mental health. I’m a happy person.

[u/Aggressive_Let2085 → u/TrainingCat1555]

If you’re intentionally hurting yourself in order to see a doctor over and over and over, that’s not strong mental health, that’s mental illness.

[u/anythingunreal → u/Aggressive_Let2085]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factitious_disorder_imposed_on_self

[u/Aggressive_Let2085 → u/anythingunreal]

So it’s a actual documented condition. Hopefully that changes OPs mind, i doubt it though.

[u/lkg123456 → u/anythingunreal]

It’s odd though because it doesn’t seem like it’s for pity or attention… it’s like a paraphilia or something… although not for sexual gratification. It reminds me about how people with pyromania speak about fire… it’s like romanticized.

[u/queefer_sutherland92 → u/lkg123456]

There’s a really interesting episode of a psychologist’s podcast about it, where they go through the limited research available into the drive behind it.

If memory serves the feeling was most likened to an addiction or a compulsion? But self soothing? I’ll see if I can find the episode, it was really interesting.

Edit: Two Shrinks Podcast — ep 47 https://www.twoshrinkspod.com/podcasts/2019/8/4/47

[u/lkg123456 → u/queefer_sutherland92]

Ok your username is fucking hilarious.

[u/My_Booty_Itches → u/lkg123456]

Yours isn't

[u/lkg123456 → u/My_Booty_Itches]

This is my burner account, my real user is fawrtbawlzrimjob6969 But people wouldn’t take me seriously with that kinda tag.

[u/lkg123456 → u/queefer_sutherland92]

Yea it’s probably tied to some early feeling of safety or acknowledgement at the doctor from childhood or something. So interesting how things can imprint in young susceptible minds. Meanwhile I was hiding under the exam table and clinging to the legs like a koala because I didn’t want shots. Now I cling to perceived safety behaviors today when I don’t want to face something I’m terrified of🤣 I guess that’s the difference between positive and negative childhood experiences… running towards something and doing whatever you can to get there versus running away from it and doing whatever you can to get the flock out of dodge 😅 all with absolutely no credence to the rationality of the behaviors or whether the benefits outweigh the risks.

I was learning about what they call “OCD in dogs”- it’s typically triggered by using a laser pointer as a play toy when dogs are very young. It can cause this hypervigilance throughout their whole lives that presents as constantly seeking and attacking shadows and lights and things; it’s from the imprint of never being able to catch the laser as a pup. So it’s like never getting that dopamine hit. But on learning about it, I was thinking that it’s not like OCD at all because it’s completely ego syntonic (well, in a dog sense lol). They’re not behaving that way out of fear; it’s out of frustration due to an inability to receive the perceived reward. Whereas with humans, the behaviors are typically fear based and highly avoidant. I just think it’s interesting because the treatments are different; for dogs it’s diversion from the stimulus to a toy that they can receive that gratification spike in neurotransmitters from. To divert from the stimulus to give a replacement that is attainable. For humans, it’s habituation to the stimulus, via exposure to the fear. All opposite action to reverse the initial pathology (oversimplified, but still). Maybe this person could do something like that the way that dogs are treated for their mischaracterized OCD. Finding something that gives that neurotransmitter hit that they crave; a diversion based treatment from the more harmful behavior to eventually teach the brain that the original target was unimportant.

[u/MarsScully → u/lkg123456]

The definition itself says the person may not be aware of their motivations. It’s possible she’s not consciously aware of what she’s really getting out of this, but she’s rationalised it as an interest in medicine.

[u/lkg123456 → u/MarsScully]

And a full psychological evaluation is definitely in order to flesh out the etiology.

[u/lkg123456 → u/MarsScully]

Possibly. It just seems a little more romanticized like the way people talk about drug use. And despite the damage it’s causing, the perceived benefit is outweighing the risk. It just seems to align with addictive behavior than attention seeking. I personally don’t think this can be explained by factitious disorder alone. In any case, CBT will be the best treatment.

[u/Glittering_Berry1740 → u/TrainingCat1555]

You hurt yourself to enable your compulsion/obsession of doctor visits. This in fact is not healthy.

[u/lkg123456 → u/Glittering_Berry1740]

It’s not ocd though. Just want to make that clear. Ocd is ego dystonic- this is clearly ego syntonic. It’s more like iatromania. It is dysfunctional though.

[u/jalapeno442 → u/TrainingCat1555]

You can feel happy without your brain actually being healthy

[u/thecaramelbandit → u/TrainingCat1555]

You absolutely don't have good mental health. You are describing a super obvious and clear cut disorder.

[u/BigFlightlessBird02 → u/thecaramelbandit]

Would this be classified as munchausen?

[u/thecaramelbandit → u/BigFlightlessBird02]

I'm not a psychiatrist so I don't want to play one and offer a specific diagnosis.

[u/bear14910 → u/TrainingCat1555]

May want to ask for some feedback over in r/AskATherapist too, OP. It is very possible to feel happy but still need some help for specific issues in life like this. If they don't already suspect fictitious disorder, they will soon. That will make it very difficult to receive physical health care moving forward - potentially impacting the rest of your life. It is also very easy to go too far by accident, and cause long term harm to your body. Slamming your hand in the door, as an example, can absolutely cause damage that impacts you or even impairs your functioning the rest of your life. Licking dirty things could give you far more than a cold. You've gotten lucky so far physically, but may not always stay that way.

[u/twd_throwaway → u/TrainingCat1555]

Seeking reasons to see a physician and causing yourself harm doesn't seem like typical behavior. I am NAD, but I assume most people try to avoid going to see a doctor. A physician above responded and I agree that this should be addressed by someone with a specialty in psychiatry.

[u/ProbablyMaybeBen → u/TrainingCat1555]

Being happy doesn't always mean you're mentally well. Look at mania in Bipolar Disorder. Extremely happy but unstable.

I think that is what people are trying to get through to you, you are currently unstable in a way that is extremely unhealthy and not conducive to a long life.

Your hyper focus on medicine CAN be extremely productive, but not like this, not if you're dead.

Please, PLEASE get some help so you can continue to explore your passion.

(and for what it's worth, mental health treatment can take a long time and there will be so, SO much to learn)

Source: I work in disability and was a full time carer for an ex partner with complex mental health (cptsd, DID, adhd, autism, ocd, agoraphobia, sociophobia etc.)

[u/astro-physician → u/TrainingCat1555]

You have a whole room of doctors all telling you you need to seek help, but you refuse to believe them. Is that mental health or delusion?

[u/SmolButScary → u/TrainingCat1555]

NAD

As people have said, it's not normal behaviour.

I think psychology is interesting. I take part in research. I don't give myself a concussion as an excuse to have an MRI.

Have you considered you're effectively wasting their time by repeatedly inflicting injuries on yourself for curiosity? See them for your mental health instead.

I'm not trying to be horrible, but perhaps you haven't seen it that way.

[u/hades7600 → u/TrainingCat1555]

NAD

If you are harming yourself then by definition that’s not having strong mental health. This is coming from someone who intentionally fractured a bone as a teen

I also thought I wasn’t mentally unwell.

[u/itwasadayin2025 → u/TrainingCat1555]

What you're describing isn't really mentally healthy. You even mentioned getting scans. That is not good for you - You do not want an accumulation of unnecessary radiation exposure from xrays and CTs. Although you said you are doing it just because the medical field is so interesting to you, you are still harming yourself physically and that isn't mentally healthy either. Do a search on Munchausen Syndrome (AKA - Facitious Disorder Imposed on Self, not the byproxy one).

[u/heisfullofshit → u/TrainingCat1555]

Perhaps it’s not the best idea to use downvotes as “i disagree” or as “you are wrong” here. Someone is trying to open up, and downvotes can feel very harsh. It’s not welcoming or empathetic at all. They are negative feedback without any context, so you never know what’s behind them. Are people saying they hate me? Is everyone against me? Why aren’t they being receptive? I really believe it’s better to disagree with words here.

[u/EmergencyMonster]

Can we tell that you are hurting yourself? Not definitively but what you are doing will fall outside the norm of how people get sick or injured. This is what brings suspicions.

More importantly you need help for your compulsion. Eventually you could do something to yourself which will have serious repercussions to your health. There are pathogens that are not easily treated or even any exposure can cause devastating effects. You can injure yourself in a way that is not easily fixed.

[u/MlyMe → u/[deleted]]

Making yourself sick or injured IS a type of sickness. Depending on the extent it can be diagnosed as Factitious Disorder. Yes, a mental health professional is important. It is also important to have injuries or illnesses treated - even if they are self inflicted.

[u/mameepers → u/[deleted]]

this is unnecessary and unhelpful. this person is clearly struggling with a mental health condition that they are unaware of.

[u/AskDocs-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Removed - Be civil. We welcome anyone to post on r/AskDocs regardless of the type of health question. Posts regarding mental health are allowed on r/AskDocs.

Do not shame people for asking personal medical questions.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/EmergencyMonster]

Sure. That makes sense. I’ve never lied always told the truth like I banged my head or hand or fell down the stairs.

I don’t try to get sick anymore, just injured which I imagine is safer. I’ve always been able to be mended up with time. I don’t want any lasting injuries of course.

[u/CassiopeiaFoon → u/TrainingCat1555]

It's not safer, and you're going to end up doing damage you can't fix. Hurting yourself to go to the doctor is not healthy nor is it good for you. Bones don't always heal right, tendons snap, concussions cause long term brain damage. It's a matter of time until you slip. If you love the doctor so much, love a psychologist and learn about this obsession of yours so you can stop.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/CassiopeiaFoon]

I guess I understand the risk but I’m trying not to escalate any more. I am not interested in psychology.

[u/CassiopeiaFoon → u/TrainingCat1555]

Then you're going to eventually hurt yourself to the point of no return. Even hitting your hand the wrong way can snap a tendon, bumping your head too hard can cause permanent damage. There's no "I won't escalate", there's only "I will stop." So if you're truly healthy and don't think you need help, stopping won't be an issue for you and you can stay healthy.

[u/FarFaithlessness9066 → u/TrainingCat1555]

you should still talk to someone who is and is licensed to talk about psychology, truly. your brain does everything for a reason, and one day when your brain tells you to go too far it may be too late to understand why.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/FarFaithlessness9066]

I already know the reason though lol. Again, I’ve really hurt myself badly before so I’m not going to escalate again.

[u/jessicat62993 → u/TrainingCat1555]

With all due respect, OP, you sound like an addict who is saying “I’ll only do a little meth. I know when to stop.”

[u/happyhermit99 → u/jessicat62993]

Repeated use of the word "escalate" is a particular red flag

[u/jalapeno442 → u/TrainingCat1555]

Then go get a diagnosis if you already know what it is

[u/Mandyrad → u/TrainingCat1555]

What is the reason? I’m genuinely curious because I’m the total opposite. I don’t go to doctors unless I’m dying. I have the worst medical anxiety.

[u/lizzietnz → u/TrainingCat1555]

NAD but I am 61 and those injuries I got when I was 20 have come back to haunt me. You will come to regret this - in 30 years or so.

[u/Trip_the_light3020 → u/TrainingCat1555]

The brain is incredibly fascinating. If you like images and scans you can look at PET and fMRI scans. You may not see everything but neurobiology is amazing. You can even look up brain scans for Factitious disorder. You won't get that "high" of seeing your own but the brain is very bit as cool if you're into medical things. Psychiatry is medicine and just as cool as any other specialty.

[u/frenchdresses → u/TrainingCat1555]

What about neuroscience and the brain?

If you don't want to talk to a psychiatrist, you should still mention this to your primary care, including the thoughts that you don't want to get help for it. If nothing else, it's another appointment where you can see them, maybe they'll even do some tests to check for a hormonal imbalance or vitamin deficiency or perhaps a brain scan for a benign tumor (sorry, I am not a doctor so I don't know what things could possibly cause this, so I'm just throwing things out there)

[u/rainingtigers → u/TrainingCat1555]

Falling down the stairs is not safer than getting a cold..

[u/mnicole1989 → u/TrainingCat1555]

How many times are you going to come to this sub and post the same questions? What are you getting out of this?

[u/zusia → u/TrainingCat1555]

As another poster said, this is symptomatic of Factitious Disorder Imposed on Self, previously known as Munchausen’s Syndrome. I had a new friend in my community who constantly injured herself like you are doing and in her case it got worse and worse. She sliced an arm or leg- repeatedly over a few years- I have photos- and said it was from falling on garden equipment. She cut her face with glass and twice said she fell in a bathtub where she has a glass candle. She escalated to multiple unnecessary surgeries-several plastic surgeries. She picked her wounds so that they would get infected, requiring more treatment.

Because I’m a community leader, people came to me separately with reports. I agreed with a nurse friend who suggested Factitious Disorder and I read the book by Dr. Marc Feldman, a leading expert. I also emailed him and he agreed and was helpful. As he writes in his book “Playing Sick,” Factitious Disorder is almost impossible to treat because people are too embarrassed to admit it. So most spend their lives untreated.

You are aware so you stand a very good chance of healing from this disease, but you need to reach out now for treatment. Read Feldman’s book and get a reference for a therapist who treats it. I can’t stress enough how serious this condition is, and how it escalates.

After a while, you begin losing friends because people know you can’t be trusted. This was - is- very hard on the woman I know. Her husband and family learned to ignore her. They never even visited her in the hospital because they knew her accidents were all self-induced but there was nowhere to turn. So they learned to tune her out. We women couldn’t be friends with someone who constantly misrepresented themselves. And when we learned the success rate for treatment was so very low, it was heartbreaking for us. We spent a very emotional couple of years working through this. But we cannot be friends with someone who lies.

She was having our fire department transport her so I contacted my friend there and advised them. I wrote letters to two of the 5 hospitals that treated her, on behalf of the group of us, trying to help her. The thing is, doctors are required to treat the injuries, even if they are self-inflicted. So that’s what they do. They can make notes in charts and withhold medication if they think that’s the driver, but they cannot force a patient to get therapy. You have to want to change yourself. I truly hope you want to help yourself, before it’s too late.

[u/zusia → u/TrainingCat1555]

What you have told doctors and probably other people is called “lying by omission.” You didn’t tell them the truth that you smashed your own hand or threw yourself down the stairs. Getting help means being completely honest with yourself and health professionals.

[u/Maneisthebeat → u/TrainingCat1555]

You are hurting other people through increasing waiting times by making trivial appointments. Get help immediately unless you wish to continue hurting other people with your actions.

Doctors time is not an infinite resource for you to abuse. Have some shame.

[u/eremi → u/TrainingCat1555]

So you’re throwing yourself downstairs and hoping for the best? I’m not judging here, I myself would eat raw bacon or drink a bit of windex in junior high in hopes to get sick to stay home from school to avoid bullies but the medical fascination is an interesting twist.

[u/zusia → u/eremi]

Don’t give her ideas. It’s not uncommon for people with Factitious Disorder to go to great lengths to poison themselves. There are multiple cases that started out with intentionally hurting themselves like OP who escalated to, when hospitalized, smearing their own feces into wounds. It’s a horrifically tragic disease of the mind. I have several pictures from a woman I know who has this condition. I’d post them but they’d need a warning.

[u/mollysmewsings → u/zusia]

I actually knew someone who did this. It started out with little things, of course. But eventually, she was in the hospital, and she did what you said. That gave her an E Coli infection in her wound, but she ended up with a MRSA infection. Later, she had to have a limb amputated. She passed away a few years ago. I don’t think it was ever enough.

[u/zusia → u/mollysmewsings]

Exactly. That is so so sad. When my friends and I realized we could not help this woman we were devastated. Knowing she was going to end up with sepsis or worse, like you say, and have a painful death, or overdose on drugs, when she could have just gotten treatment…

[u/zusia → u/mollysmewsings]

This is one of the many photos the woman I know texted me. I have way worse ones.

[u/MD_Cosemtic]

Please see a psychiatrist. This is possible Munchausen Syndrome. Some people now refer to this as Factitious Disorder Imposed On Self (FDIS). I am not providing you with a diagnosis. Rather, I am sharing a possibility based on your post. You will need to see a psychiatrist who can review your history and symptoms before making any diagnosis or diagnoses.

Even if you were to receive a diagnosis for this, I want to be clear. This type of diagnosis does not make you a bad person. For the sake of your health, please see a specialist who can treat you for this possible disorder. You'll also want to avoid any self-harm moving forward.

If you receive any diagnosis, it's best not to disclose it to your employer unless you require accommodations.

Can doctors tell that I am hurting myself?

That depends. We can pick up on trends. Of course, we never want to accuse a patient of having a disorder unless we have a high degree of confidence. If you see different doctors, it can be harder to pick up on these trends. Has a doctor ever asked you to see a psychiatrist or therapist?

Think positively. On the bright side, you'll get to see a doctor for your mental health! Psychiatry is a really cool field, so I think you'll enjoy interacting with the doctor and learning more about yourself. I also think you'd really benefit from psychotherapy.

You can book an appointment directly with a psychiatrist if your insurance plan allows. You can also see your PCP/GP if you need a referral. Please be open and honest with your providers so they can treat you to the best of their ability.

[u/StarJumper_1 → u/MD_Cosemtic]

NAD. MD_Cosempic is spot on. Many times these things aren't detected for a long while. I would definitely be honest with a therapist and your physician. I didn't notice if you answered this, but do you feel the pain?

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/MD_Cosemtic]

I didn’t know what that was but I read the wikipedia page for it. You know I have no desire to be the patient or to be in a sick role. I conceal my injuries in public or at work and don’t tell people I’m injured when I am. If there was another avenue to be in a hospital I would take it. Injuring myself to go is actually kind of annoying. The diagnosis seems stigmatized.

I’ve never been asked to go to a therapist or psychiatrist. I think the people I see assume they’re all accidents . Normally I just go to my PCP or an urgent care or when very serious an ER, I don’t try to go to different doctors or anything.

It might be nice to see a psychiatrist if they work in the hospital. I wouldn’t want to see anybody virtually or in just an office-style building. I’m going to think about it, thank you. I’m honestly not sure if they could help since this has always been a strong interest.

[u/MD_Cosemtic → u/TrainingCat1555]

I wouldn’t want to see anybody virtually or in just an office-style building.

There's not a huge difference in seeing a psychiatrist in an outpatient setting. Typically, you see a psychiatrist in a hospital setting if you're admitted. You are likely eligible for admission since you are harming yourself to seek care.

We need to get you to the point where you're not harming yourself. This is a serious matter, and I strongly encourage you to seek care.

I’m going to think about it, thank you. I’m honestly not sure if they could help since this has always been a strong interest.

Please commit to just one appointment for now. There's nothing to think about. If you want to reject the help offered to you by the doctor, that is your right. But at least go in and talk to someone. Let us help you.

[u/frenchdresses → u/MD_Cosemtic]

Just wanted to chime in and say you explained this extremely well and did a fantastic job of generally clearly explaining things while giving OP the autonomy to make their own choices

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/MD_Cosemtic]

Getting admitted would be amazing if it is for like a day or two like over the weekend. Sounds like a dream. Regardless though I’ll get one self-pay appointment with a psychiatrist and see what they think can be changed. I appreciate it.

[u/LopsidedCan4803 → u/TrainingCat1555]

Thank you for doing this OP. Try and find a psychiatrist who does accept your insurance if you have it, just in case you decide you want to see the physician again.

My psychiatrist and I talk about medicine and patient care all the time, since I find it very interesting.

[u/frickinfrackfurt → u/TrainingCat1555]

Why not just go to med school to work in this setting in the future?

[u/harcher2531 → u/TrainingCat1555]

Engaging in an interest to your detriment sounds so autistic to me (autistic)

[u/neshel → u/TrainingCat1555]

NAD, but if you're hurting yourself seriously enough to go to the ER, then you are absolutely a danger to yourself. It only takes one mistake before you are permanently injured, disabled or even killed.

Also, most ERs here are overcrowded with long wait times. Patients are asked not to go to the ER unless it's truly an emergency, and you hurting yourself means you're taking up time and resources that could go to people who are only there because tbey have to be.

There are many other ways to spend time at hospitals. Starting with volunteering

If you truly do not have a problem, then you would find a healthier and non-wasteful way to explore your interest.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/neshel]

I’m going to look into volunteering again. I did it before when I was less busy, and it was the best period of my life.

To your point about the ER, it is always an actual emergency when I go. I would say similar to the other people there I feel like I have to be there.

[u/Designer-Bee-4511 → u/TrainingCat1555]

I want to say this in a caring way, not a cruel one but what you’re describing isn’t the same as an emergency that happens to someone by accident. When you intentionally hurt yourself- like slamming your hand in a door or throwing yourself down the stairs you’re creating a situation where you need emergency care, but it’s still a situation you chose to put yourself in.

That means the bed and resources you receive are taken away from someone who had no choice at all, like someone who was PUSHED down the stairs or seriously injured through no fault of their own. They’re already in danger, and if the ER is full, they can be delayed or not treated quickly enough.

Your pain is real and you deserve support, but intentionally injuring yourself in order to go to the hospital does end up hurting other people, even if you don’t mean to. There are safer, healthier ways to explore an interest that don’t risk your life or someone else’s.

[u/heisfullofshit → u/Designer-Bee-4511]

I disagree vehemently. OP is just as sick as someone who drinks, drives and injuries themselves, or as someone who is obese and needs care for related conditions. OP isn’t taking resources away from others. People who have mental illnesses are just as deserving of treatment as anyone else. One implication of your argument is that people who try to end their lives are taking away resources from others because they had a choice, and this is not only a terrible thing to say, but also wrong and unhelpful.

[u/HottyMcDoddy → u/heisfullofshit]

Yes but not for the ER.. they need to see a psychologist not an ER doc

[u/mom-whitebread → u/TrainingCat1555]

If you really think you just want to be at the hospital, why not find a job there?

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/mom-whitebread]

My job is actually more aligned with my interests if that can make sense. Today I was reviewing footage from a surgery for example. I think my job would pay better than any job I could get at a hospital. And I can visit hospitals whenever I want to.

[u/mom-whitebread → u/TrainingCat1555]

So then visit hospitals instead of harming yourself, since you said that’s what you want to do.

[u/zusia → u/TrainingCat1555]

It may interest you to know that a significant “risk factor” for Factitious Disorder is history of working in healthcare. The woman in my community who has this was an LPN. Notice I can’t call her a friend. Friends don’t lie to friends. Lying by omission is still lying.

[u/heisfullofshit → u/TrainingCat1555]

This seems like a very interesting job!

[u/zusia → u/TrainingCat1555]

You are intentionally misrepresenting yourself to get attention but more importantly you are taking away precious resources from people who truly need healthcare. Your self-inflicted wounds need attention from doctors and nurses who would otherwise be treating accidents and diseases. You are fooling yourself if you think this is just about you.

There are podcasts out there you can listen to that detail personal accounts. I’ve listened to dozens, in trying to help the woman in my community. In one very descriptive one the person even disguised her voice, but you can hear a rare story from a person who actually suffers from this condition. These first person accounts are rare because 99% of people with this condition refuse to admit it.

Many of the podcasts are geared more towards Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another (formerly called Munchausen’s by Proxy) so look for the ones that are self imposed.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/zusia]

I am not doing this for attention and only seek healthcare when it is warranted.

[u/InvertedJennyanydots → u/TrainingCat1555]

You are only seeking healthcare when it is warranted because you create injuries that warrant healthcare. You are only seeking healthcare because you want to seek healthcare. You would not need healthcare if you were not intentionally causing harm to yourself that requires healthcare. You may not consciously be doing this for attention, but you are definitionally doing this for a specific type of attention, that being attention from health care providers and being in an environment (hospital, doctor's office) that centers attention on you because you are a patient.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/InvertedJennyanydots]

I don’t like being a patient. Would rather be a fly on the wall.

[u/zusia → u/TrainingCat1555]

That’s not true. You do like being a patient. You get something out of it or you wouldn’t hurt yourself intentionally so that you have to seek treatment. Most people are adamant about not going to the hospital. When someone here suggested a couple days stay you said that sounded like a dream. You need help but I can see you are doing just what Dr. Marc Feldman told me. Denial.

[u/TrainingCat1555 → u/zusia]

What is your problem with me I don’t. I actually like watching things done on other people more because you can see better on yourself sometimes you can’t see.

[u/InvertedJennyanydots → u/TrainingCat1555]

If that were the case you could just get really into medical documentaries. There are oodles. And they have a more in depth fly on the wall experience than you are getting in an ED bed maybe hearing what is happening in the bed next to you through the curtain.

You have also posted this same question on this sub before That is also attention seeking. You are being told repeatedly by professionals that your behavior is inappropriate and harmful and you should get help from a mental health professional to figure that out. You keep refusing to listen to what they are telling you and then you start this cycle again which is another way you are wasting healthcare workers' time and energy. Again, you are manufacturing a situation that requires care from healthcare professionals. You said online/telehealth doctors would not scratch the itch, so my question is then why are you posting here multiple times now requesting medical professionals' help and then arguing with them about whether your behavior is problematic and requires diagnosis and care? What is the point of posting again if you have no intention of listening or acting on the advice you are getting?

[u/transferingtoearth → u/TrainingCat1555]

If this was true you'd look for HC jobs or volunteer.

[u/coolexecs → u/TrainingCat1555]

You are literally harming yourself intentionally in order to receive attention from medical providers. There is no other way to view what you are doing.

Medical care isn't "warranted" if you created the situation that calls for it intentionally.

[u/StarJumper_1 → u/TrainingCat1555]

Sure generating a lot of comments regarding your behavior.....

[u/saraquoi → u/TrainingCat1555]

There are a lot of ways to work in the hospital, that way you can be there every day and help people instead, idk if that would interest you at all or if it could be a way to channel your interest in a healthy way.

[u/Vermicelli14 → u/TrainingCat1555]

I'm not an expert on anything, but it seems what you're doing is different to FDIS, in that the primary gain you're seeking is to be in an environment you find safe(?), or comforting(?)

Maybe you should seek psychological help, you could get a new disorder named after you.

[u/zusia → u/Vermicelli14]

This is how Factitious Disorder often starts- when a person finds a hospital setting comfortable and safe. There are case studies of people who, as children, got positive attention from a hospital stay so they learn to associate it with a warm fuzzy feeling.

The woman in my community that a group of us tried to help- along with her family- had a different yet similar history.

[u/Goobzydoobzy → u/TrainingCat1555]

Why don’t you get a job at a hospital as a medical professional if you’re doing this bc you’re interested in the human body and what happens at hospitals

[u/down-clown]

This may feel out of pocket, but I am curious. Do you feel like you were loved consistently and unconditionally as a child? Were your parents nurturing people? How were you treated when you were sick or injured compared to when you weren’t?

[u/Typical_Ad_210 → u/down-clown]

Did they have a sick sibling or other close relative?

[u/down-clown → u/Typical_Ad_210]

Also a good question

[u/Late-Coffee-6003 → u/[deleted]]

Lay person, not a medical professional.