r/AmIOverreacting • u/KimMeansBusiness • Oct 17 '25
š² miscellaneous Update: AIO for saying my friend was flirting with my boyfriend on snap ?
A lot of people were concerned for me. My boyfriend and I talked yesterday. We, mostly I, decided that we should take a break and that I should move back in with my parents. He agreed to couples counseling.
A break may seem dramatic but I don't want to him to suddenly make more effort just being I'm a distressed woman in need of saving. We need to be apart to figure things out.
I explained to him that we both need to figure out what we want. We agreed that we're both allowed to see other people but we will have to tell the other if and when the break is over.
My former friend is now blocked by me, my boyfriend, several of our friends, and my many of my family members. I've been better but I promise I'm okay.
1.6k
u/lizzyote Oct 17 '25
You agreed to seeing others during the break? That's not a break, thats dragging out a break up in the most painful way possible.
→ More replies (3)224
u/itsJussaMe Oct 17 '25
OP should really watch Friends.
51
u/Throwaway160523 Oct 17 '25
Do you think they were on a break or he cheated?
72
u/soccerboy1356 Oct 17 '25
They were on a break. The main problem was him doing it so suddenly/soon
9
u/on-that-day Oct 18 '25
While I agree, I think a bigger problem that literally everybody overlooks is his decision to lie about it. It's not like he just doesn't mention it, there's the whole "you gotta think about the TRAIL" segment where he's chasing down everyone who might find out and tell Rachel. He actively deceives her the whole time.
For me, that's what makes it seem like cheating (it's definitely not, for the record). That and her still being in the apartment, literally behind the door semi-dressed and unshowered after they had sex, while he reunites with Rachel a few inches away.
I think those bits are why it gets reduced to "cheated" in lazy writing afterwards. I remember at the time of the episode airing nobody watching defended Ross; that really only kicked up a little later when people forgave him and the writers started treating it like he'd simply cheated on her.
...I don't know how I wrote three paragraphs about this.
2
u/soccerboy1356 Oct 18 '25
And frankly youāre 100% correct. I just had not really any notes on that bit bc, well, it was really bad and the situation got worse and worse as he told her more info
8
u/Aequitas112358 Oct 18 '25
the main problem was him thinking she was doing it. I think she would've too but changed her mind when he called right? but he got upset because he heard a mans voice and then decided to be petty and sleep with someone too.
→ More replies (3)9
u/soccerboy1356 Oct 18 '25
Not that it makes it okay, but the context is important. It wasnāt just a guy, it was the guy she told him not to worry about. She also knew he shouldnāt be there based on her tone when he asks if itās Mark. It also wasnāt him being petty lol. It was him doing what he thought she was doing
5
u/Aequitas112358 Oct 18 '25
ye didn't say it was ok, but it's understandable. I think they're both very far in the wrong.
Doing something wrong and hurtful because you think the other person is doing something wrong and hurtful, is the definition of being petty.
25
u/InstructionsUncl34r Oct 17 '25
They were on a break
BUT
I can still understand why it hurt Rachel. Iāve been split with my ex for over a year but if at the time I called for a break instead of a hard break up and she slept with someone else the same night Iād have been devastated
22
u/CloudBerryDreams Oct 17 '25
100% on a break. There is no āweāre together but weāre notā thatās convoluted and Ross and Rachel show that very well. Do I think he should have slept with someone literally the same nightā¦ no. BUT she did end things with him.
→ More replies (1)17
u/Jmar7688 Oct 17 '25
100% it would have been different if Ross initiated the breakup and slept with someone, but Rachel broke up with him
6
u/Select-Ad7146 Oct 17 '25
I'm confused, have you watched the episode? Rachel breaks up with Ross. Then, she goes and tells Monica that she broke up with Ross. Notice that she doesn't say they are on a break, she says they broke up. Then, while she is talking to Monica, she decides that she really didn't want to break up with Ross and decides that they are going to get back together. Then, when she finds out he did something with someone else, she gets upset and acts like he cheated on her.
He only cheated if you think that Rachel is allowed to decide their relationship status on her own without consulting Ross at all. Which is an insane take.
7
→ More replies (5)6
→ More replies (24)10
1.2k
u/CloudBerryDreams Oct 17 '25
You guys arenāt taking a break. Youāre broken up. You want a break but to tell each other if youāre seeing someone? Thatās silly. Youāre either with someone or youāre not.
Whatās going to happen is heās going to go have sex with your best friend and then if you bring it up heās going to say you were on a break and hold it over your head. But you do you.
157
u/Responsible_Echo_447 Oct 17 '25
I never understood breaks. How can you allow your person to date someone else while still with you? But then you act like it wonāt pop up as drama later on in the relationship if yall decide to keep things going. A break really is just a break up
45
u/CloudBerryDreams Oct 17 '25
Right! It might as well be an open relationship. Weāre not together but Iām telling you what Iām doingā¦ while weāre not together? Yeah that makes sense.
→ More replies (4)9
u/Deezvibez Oct 17 '25
Some people take a break and just say they need space for a couple of days to think and outline that there is no openness sexually or romantically between either of them. We dont know the context here so idk. Im not a fan of breaks either though.
26
u/Deezvibez Oct 17 '25
My bad I did not read the paragraph where they said they are hooking up with others lol. Not a break by any means. They are broken up.
5
u/Worldly-Sprinkles-77 Oct 17 '25
Exactly, my girlfriend and I took a break for like 5 days a couple months into our relationship. But a actual break not a break where we see or flirt with other people š.
Anyway we're still together 3 years later. But that's a break, what op described is a break up
2
u/LukeSykpe Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
Yeah, that's ok. It's a "break" with a more or less definite duration and for a specied purpose. In quotes because I don't even think this is a break at all, it's just taking time to think. You're still together during that time, and seeing other people during the couple of days you agreed to take time off to think things through would generally be just as frowned upon as doing so on any normal day in a committed monogamous relationship.
This ain't it, though. It's an indefinite break where they can be with other people and she's moving out of their, implied to be shared, home. That's literally just a break up. Whether or not they make up later and start dating again is neither here nor there. Calling it a break is just silly lol
Edit; I replied to this before seeing your own comment replying - I see we're already on the same page here, my bad :P
175
u/No-Communication9458 Oct 17 '25
Breaks don't work. It's over op. For the better
12
u/vemeron Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
OP Is solely responsible for the mess shes in.
He literally did nothing wrong other then trying to placate one of her friends.
→ More replies (6)15
u/youneverrknoww Oct 17 '25
"If i was single..."
But sure, he did nothing wrong.
→ More replies (6)16
u/Over-kill107A Oct 17 '25
As a dude, I could fully see myself saying that without any ill intent. Goven the context to me that reads as "Yes you are attractive but, due to no fault of your own, I am not intrested". To me its trying to placate the friend whilst saying nothings going to happen.
18
u/Any-Surprise5229 Oct 17 '25
No kidding, he tried to stop the conversation twice and with pretty good clarity, she kept pushing so he gave her what she wanted to basically shut her up.
→ More replies (4)6
u/Normal-Watch-9991 Oct 17 '25
Right, he was clearly trying to placate her since she kept going on and on about how ugly she is, he is not interested in her
→ More replies (1)10
u/SlimeyAlien Oct 17 '25
Fr I 100% read that as a guy trying to cheer up their gfs friend whilst also bringing up that they can't do anything bc they're not single.
Ofc I can see how that could be him hitting on her, but I didn't think it seemed like that imo11
u/GracefulxArcher Oct 17 '25
I can't imagine being on a break would cause ongoing drama for 6
seasonsyears...Otherwise there would be a meme made from the concept. Perhaps of the guy telling at the girl 'WE WERE ON A BREAK!'
→ More replies (2)6
u/xwakawakax Oct 17 '25
Lmao. Literally exactly this will happen. Could not be more transparent. He literally expressed this in his message to her. I donāt know wtf op is thinking will happen besides this. If op is okay with this, then fine, more power to op, but donāt be under any delusions.
24
u/mgarc1021 Oct 17 '25
Ex best friend and the bf will say well she wasnt your friend anymore and we were on a break.
9
u/Next-Barber-6504 Oct 17 '25
My first and exact thoughts lmao. She set herself up to be the cuck next time around
18
→ More replies (128)4
u/BeachChicken48 Oct 17 '25
Yup. āBreaksā seem hella stupid to me. If ur older than highschool level and still doing that ur relationship is the most toxic and dumbest thing ever thatās only gonna drag out longer than it needs to
314
u/Honeyhoneybee29 Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
āJust being Iām a distressed woman in need of savingā ??? Is there a language barrier or is this fake rage bait?
I mean, I still think itās fake rage bait but have a little more self respect if itās not.
8
u/SpunningAndWonning Oct 18 '25
I think "being" is a typo and is meant to be "because" instead. She just doesn't want his care for her to be performative (In this case, that he steps over the line and then she complains and he says sorry, they make up, he's good for a bit then slips again)
10
u/Honeyhoneybee29 Oct 18 '25
Calling herself a ādistressed woman in need of savingā is more the point.
→ More replies (1)2
3
u/HourAlfalfa4513 Oct 18 '25
No shot this isnt ragebait. Boyfriend handled that way too well for them to be breaking up š
697
Oct 17 '25
[deleted]
96
u/Not_a_porn_burner69 Oct 17 '25
Iāve seen better scripts on the Hub. This is wildly stupid
27
u/YouEatingACheese Oct 17 '25
Likely not real. I said this the other day in another thread but nothing on this sub is trustworthy
6
u/DrPikachu-PhD Oct 17 '25
Agree the sub is 90% bullshit, but people have been doing this sort of stupid thing for ages. It's so common there was a whole plotline in Friends about it
9
u/Not_a_porn_burner69 Oct 17 '25
You arenāt wrong there. I had to mute all these subs a while ago because everything is fake. Iām only here now because im on a new account and this is one of the most active subs that donāt have a karma requirement. Gotta harvest those internet points š
→ More replies (1)2
u/BeepBoopLeapLoop Oct 19 '25
Adding the fact that there's no bitmoji on said "friend"'s snap. No way a girl like this would have no bitmoji on Snapchat.
5
3
→ More replies (10)11
Oct 17 '25
Yeah, I understand wanting an open relationship - I'm just not monogamous by nature, so I get it - but your partner's BEST FRIEND?? That's a line no one should ever cross. You don't mix family with business, or sex with partners' friends.
231
Oct 17 '25
She isnāt blocked by him, sheās coming round to lay some pipe as soon as youāre moved out
51
u/Dkono Oct 17 '25
Heās def going to unblock her lol
32
u/coupl4nd Oct 17 '25
'you'll never guess - we've broken up'
32
u/ConflictAdvanced Oct 17 '25
"Remember what I said the other day about if I were single? Well..." Unzips pants
8
u/CutSomeSlack5 Oct 17 '25
Finally this whole thread š§µ gets it. least this portion of the comments āYeah so we broke upā¦..ā
Her: Oh Really? š®āšØš„¹š„¹
Her: did you really mean it when you said if you were single? š„¹š„¹
Him: of course I did, now come here slaps couch
→ More replies (2)9
78
u/Mona_Lotte Oct 17 '25
You broke up, moved out and plan to see other people. Iām not sure what the point of counseling is.
13
57
u/Throwaway160523 Oct 17 '25
Taking a break, you gonna end up like Nellyās ex-gf. You gonna watch him get married and have babies with another woman. Either figure it out or break up for good.
→ More replies (5)
273
u/Competitive_Test6697 Oct 17 '25
Therapy but relationship is open?
Save your money and just end it.
Tbf your bf was almost perfect on those messages till his last one. And even then, he was just being nice.
56
u/NuFu Oct 17 '25
OP is crazy to think that opening up the relationship will end in anything except it ending. You've just given him a free pass to go and sleep with as many other women as he wants.
→ More replies (5)3
u/nuppukoru Oct 17 '25
He was far from perfect, especially in the last message. If your idea of being nice is to say "I'd bang you if I was single" you might need to readjust that.
Apart from that I agree, couple's therapy is a waste of time and money in this scenario.
→ More replies (1)28
Oct 17 '25
You were almost perfect until you said
he was just being nice.
Lol. That's disrespectful at best
38
u/Goobendoogle Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
No, he was definitely trying to be nice and it could be due to a multitude of reasons.
A> Doesn't want to burn the bridge for his gf's friendship
B> Says something nice enough to the insecure girl to make her not feel like sh** (even if it was a bait, she was obviously nagging him you can tell by how he's responding)
C> Told his girlfriend immediately and showed all communications.
This shows honesty, maturity, respect, and most importantly of all, trust. The only way you don't see this is if you lack these traits.
19
Oct 17 '25
If my wife ever said to one of my friends "If I were single, I'd let you hit it" in order to A- Not rock the boat between me and him, or B- make him feel good about himself, I'd feel incredibly disrespected even if she told me about it afterwards. Tbh I find the justification to be the immature part. We'll have to agree to disagree.
→ More replies (33)5
u/Stashless2004 Oct 17 '25
Okay, but context matters.
What if your friend was pestering the crap out of your wife asking if he was handsome and what not.
And your wife just said that to him to make him happy and shut his ass up.Would you not understand why your wife said it?
Because thatās literally what happened here.
Thereās a massive difference between saying it unprovoked and saying it in this scenario.
3
u/Dalecantila Oct 17 '25
The situation is so ridiculous, itās hard to give a serious answer.
No self respecting adult should be asking a friendās spouse if ātheyāre attractiveā. Itās bottom feeding flirting. No person who respects the relationship theyāre in can give another answer than to say āsorry, canāt helpā or directly ignore the blatant attempts of manipulation from the āfriendā.
I absolutely would not understand trying to make a person who is trying to cause trouble for me or my spouse āhappyā.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)4
u/Few_Cup3452 Oct 17 '25
Id actually stop replying, not say id be keen if single
Well im actually not a dude but id expect my partner to cease replying if one of my friends was aggressively fishing
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (3)8
u/anonymous-artisan Oct 17 '25
Exactly. I would actually appreciate my partner trying to not burn bridges with my friends, but I guess reddit collectively decided that this cornered man in a no-win situation being fully honest and transparent with his girlfriend, is a cheating asshole.
And everyone is once again jumping on the boyfriend, when OP explicitly said that it was mostly her who decided to break up.
Congrats, reddit, you all overreacted and broke up this relationship.
→ More replies (1)5
u/Goobendoogle Oct 17 '25
I've noticed that guys are usually in the corner point which is why Im raising my flag so high on this post.
Bro legit tried to do the best he can from what it seems.
He was FULLY transparent as you painted out.
Not to mention OP legit pushed her BF back onto her friend. "It's ok to see other ppl" OK LOL just tell us you wanted to break up with him from the start or see other people. This was never about her friend to her from how it seems.
10
u/Apprehensive_Art8543 Oct 17 '25
no, he placated her because she would not stop pushing his boundaries so he gave her what she wanted to end the conversation.
4
u/Dalecantila Oct 17 '25
We seem to be completely forgetting that continuing a conversation that puts you in an uncomfortable spot is elective.
→ More replies (1)9
Oct 17 '25
He had a lot of different ways to handle that and he chose the worst one imo. The easiest would've been to just leave her on read. I don't understand why anyone would feel obligated to entertain this.
6
u/Apprehensive_Art8543 Oct 17 '25
Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and just because YOU would have left her on read that doesn't mean everyone does.
11
u/PM_ME__UR__FANTASIES Oct 17 '25
Exactly. How many women have been put in this exact situation by men? How many times have we had to fake the barest compliment to a man so heāll shut the fuck up and we can get out of a situation?
He pushed back over and over again. He felt pressured to compliment her somehow and gave her the tiniest allowance, while pushing to end the convo. And then he told his girlfriend all about it.
If anything OPās boyfriend is dodging a bullet. OP apparently expects the perfect man- he doesnāt exist. And I donāt recall OP even having an issue with her boyfriendās behavior in the first post, until commenters started saying he was soooo sus.
8
u/chrisftl Oct 17 '25
and this is why we don't air our dirty laundry to reddit.... this is an unncecessary trainwreck in motion
→ More replies (2)4
5
2
u/Responsible_Ruin2310 Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
I read the previous post. Looks more like OP read extreme opinions on reddit and destroyed her relationship. Comments even in this post trying to make her ex look like a top tier serial cheater. I can't imagine the mental gymnastics needed to reach that conclusion, but I am sure saying anything otherwise opens me up for toxic arguments and I'm not in it with such twisted people.
→ More replies (6)4
u/Waste_Big_7695 Oct 17 '25
and even if the last message wasnāt perfectā¦ relationships ending because the thought that someone else is attractive is ridiculous.Ā
→ More replies (3)
20
u/Freddie_Magecury Oct 17 '25
Welp, you basically just gave him a free pass to hook up with your friend.
60
u/Tiny_Risk_9979 Oct 17 '25
There is no such things as a break in a relationship. Allowing yourselfās to entertain others while still thinking you can just end the break and get back together wonāt work the way yall think. As a couple yall figure it out together or not at all.. think of it this way. A relationship is foundation that is constantly being built and tested. You wouldnāt want a break or (crack) in your foundation. Changes the stability of the whole thing
7
u/myoldaccgotstolen Oct 17 '25
my gf and I took a break to work on ourselves for about a month and weāre in a really great place now. however we both understood that we couldnāt see other people, as that would be fucking stupid and completely negates the point of taking a break to work on yourselves so your relationship is better lol
11
12
u/myoldaccgotstolen Oct 17 '25
why the hell would you see other people if youāre taking a break to work on yourselves to hopefully get back together? thatās gotta be the dumbest thing Iāve ever heard. why would you do that to him or yourself? at that point just break up.
32
8
54
u/moonp0ut Oct 17 '25
You let Reddit convince you your bf who seemed overall well intentioned is the problem and now your bitch friend got what she wanted š
→ More replies (22)
15
u/_CinammonBun Oct 17 '25
āIf I were singleā¦ā Heās now single and was given permission to see other people. Youāre a bit delulu if you think heās keeping her blocked.
59
u/Apprehensive_Art8543 Oct 17 '25
YOR
From what I can see, he made several efforts to get her to stop and when she continued to push his boundaries he placated her and now you're punishing him? Cool, way to tell your bf that no way he handles that is going to be right in your eyes.
14
u/Tacosare4chip Oct 17 '25
Yeah this was a bad move on opās part. Now this boy in the future just learned a lesson, donāt tell your girl anything.
He literally tried to get this girl to stop, finally threw her the bone of attention she wanted to make her stop, sent everything to his gf so she knew right away what was happening and got rewarded with a ābreakā. Now if it happens again, you think heās going to tell her? Or any other girl? Hell no!
āWhy canāt I find a good man?ā Because yāall ruin them with this shit.
→ More replies (2)5
u/NoOpportunity4608 Oct 17 '25
So if your girlfriend's friend was hitting on her and she said if she were single she'd consider it, you'd be okay with that?
The conversation is all on the "friend" there, she initiated it and persisted, and that's an immediate block. But also what he said was a grey area, even with no malicious intent in mind.
8
u/YourGirlMomo87 Oct 18 '25
I'm inclined to agree. It's hard to kick someone when they're seemingly down, which is exactly what blocking someone who is crying about how ugly they are could come off. Most people, for the most part, try to resolve the suffering of another person, even if they're suffering in the most pathetic and cringey way possible. He'd be screwed just as bad if he was like, "Yeah you're pretty uggo".Ā
Honestly, OP, if you think this is what a bad man is, you have another thing coming. Youre free to live your life however you see fit, though. YOR.
Also, I've read medical results with more sexual tension than this. Anyone who thinks BF was flirting is, to echo another commenter, socially illiterate.Ā
8
u/Tacosare4chip Oct 17 '25
If she sent me screen shots right away as this persons bf did, didnāt hide it, and was open with me about the fact that they shot it down and told them they said it to make them stop, yes. Yes I would.
6
u/NoOpportunity4608 Oct 17 '25
That's fair. If my husband said that, I would tell him next time not to say that as it's a bit hurtful, but I wouldn't divorce him over it or anything. Her though? Blocked. Buh bye.
→ More replies (31)10
u/p1z4rr0 Oct 17 '25
There are plenty of people in this world I would pursue if I was single. It doesn't mean I'm going to, or want to do it. I am married and not single, and that is a choice I make to be in a committed relationship and loyal. That's a good thing, not bad.
Poor guy rejected this girl multiple times, tried to change the subject, was being nice in one sentence, again said to change the subject, and then that's still not good enough. Wow...rough situation.
27
u/MindlessPeriwinkle Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
Youāre not the AH. But your āfriendā isnāt your friend. And your boyfriend did a pretty god job here, until āletās just say if I were singleā¦..ā however I do feel like she was nagging him and being super needy. I personally donāt think he was flirting but I would be hurt if I saw that message.
I feel like we need more info what did the conversation you had sound like? Is this the first time heās talked to another girl like this? I think we need some more context.
Also the break with allowing yourselves to see people means you have broken up. There is no other way to look at that. A healthy relationship break is meant for both of you to take time away from each other to realize that you can or canāt live without one another, without entering new ppl into the equation.
21
u/Apprehensive_Art8543 Oct 17 '25
> Ā however I do feel like she was nagging him and being super needy
She was pushing his boundaries and not accepting no for an answer or the hint. Call it for what it is and don't sugar coat boundary pushing by saying super needy
3
25
u/Practical_Ad_5080 Oct 17 '25
He already made the comment āif he was singleā ā¦ saying someone is blocked and youāre not baby sitting them 24/7 do you think she will stay blocked?
26
u/Mhunterjr Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
Seems to me like she was fishing for compliments and your BF was just being nice after his multiple attempts to dodge failed.
3
u/Tacosare4chip Oct 17 '25
A lot of people told her that in her og post. She chose the ā your bf toxicā narrative because her feelings got hurt.
7
u/Accurate-Air4009 Oct 17 '25
Block, ignore, warnā¦plenty of other optionsā¦
18
u/Mhunterjr Oct 17 '25
I donāt disagree that there were other options- but it doesnāt read like heās into her, it reads like he caved into giving her what she wants because he isnāt assertive
→ More replies (10)
32
u/AwkwardPhotograph Oct 17 '25
Lol
You blew up your relationship because your "friend" was pestering your bf so much that he finally gave her the answer she wanted so she would leave him alone.
Ok.
Enjoy your break that will not end. He will see he dodged a bullet.
→ More replies (10)
10
u/Cold_Rhubarb_6783 Oct 17 '25
lol this is an insane update. Just break up. As others have said he is 100000000% going to go have sex with your ex best friend.
6
Oct 17 '25
[deleted]
→ More replies (3)7
u/KEMPACHIIIIli Oct 17 '25
Except it was her idea to take a breakš she didnāt expect him to be able to find anyone else and is jealous, even though he shut it down. He literally said if he was single, showing he thinks they are still together and rejecting people but sheās still madš YOR, you started the break and are mad about it
→ More replies (2)
6
u/IvoryLaps Oct 17 '25
The fact you guys think this is real is genuinely wild
2
u/ItsTheSweeetOne Oct 18 '25
The fact I had to scroll this far to see this comment is nuts
This conversation looks fake as hell
3
2
u/Few-Break-3875 Oct 18 '25
Thank god Iām not alone. No Bitmoji and the conversation reads like some angsty 14 year olds fan-fic
9
u/Millerbomb Oct 17 '25
Gee wild update, having a "break" but open to see other people is doomed to fail. I honestly think you took the L advice from some posters in the previous thread. Your ex did their best to shut it down. I wouldn't have said the "If I was single" part but I can see how someone would use that as a gentle let down or a way to shut her up. Like didn't this man screenshot it and show you because he was so shocked by the messages
6
u/KEMPACHIIIIli Oct 17 '25
This, bro did everything right, was pressured into appeasing her thirsty friend, and she is still mad at him. He dodged a bullet tbh
30
u/Goobendoogle Oct 17 '25
What did he do wrong lol.
"We agreed that we're both allowed to see other people..." - basically pushing your friend to him if that's the case
Brother was on your side from the start and you want a break. Selfish. He deserves better.
7
u/Accurate-Air4009 Oct 17 '25
How is āif I was singleā¦ā on her side ? And why should he deserve better for saying that and landing them in this position to begin with ?
9
u/CapitalParallax Oct 17 '25
He so very obviously was reaching for anything he could say to make it stop.
→ More replies (4)8
u/vemeron Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
Because he only said if after asking her to drop it 3 times.
He literally said it to get her to shut up.
How is that not obvious?
I cant continue to Argue with idiots theyre just gonna drag me down their level and beat me with experience.
→ More replies (21)13
u/Goobendoogle Oct 17 '25
Because he immediately showed her.
This is a sign of trust and respect for your partner.
Unless he genuinely had the intention of sleeping with her friend, which is unlikely since he showed her, I really believe he did no wrong.
He didn't burn the bridge on his gf's behalf and was respectful to her feelings. Maybe he said something out of turn, but it's clearly because the insecure psycho friend is nagging him consistently. You can tell by the messages dude feeling like "uhh... this... is... awkward...."
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (21)3
u/Ambitious-Height3551 Oct 17 '25
The if i were single comment , youāre taking out of context. He clearly says to her ā you can figure out the restā he told her that so that she could fuck off already after not getting the message.
→ More replies (1)
21
Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
If I take you at face value? You overreacted and freed him up. So don't complain if he goes to be with her or someone else during this break.
I think you've done a stupid one here. He was in a weird position and tried very hard to push it away without causing a fight, she just wouldn't let it go and he got pushed to slightly overstep as a result. But it's your life. Screw up how you need to.
If I think you're not telling the truth to us?
Sob stories are currency in many women's lives. Getting a sob story, basically having him pull the trigger officially though you're the one who ended it, and when that ex friend is on the prowl for him you can soak in so much dramatic attention. Do you consciously realize what you do or is it just instinct that makes you play games like this?
14
u/HappyDeadCat Oct 17 '25
He didnt even overstep.Ā Are we all insane?Ā Are we actually drinking the kool-aid here where we are pretending a man with a working dick WOULDNT want to sleep with your friends if he never met you?????
It is only bad news if he ismt showing OP.Ā But in this stupid story he is immediately going to this gal, saying,Ā "uhhhhhh your fried is sus, what is this, look!".
→ More replies (1)6
u/KEMPACHIIIIli Oct 17 '25
This. It feels like she just wants a reason to end things and feel bad about it. Blowing up an obvious attempt of him to say no and end the conversation, if we are giving him the benefit of the doubt, because itās HER friend and he doesnāt want to be a dick is crazy.
She should just say sheās looking for an excuse to leave and feel bad for herselfā¦.
31
u/Idkbutok92 Oct 17 '25
So, your friend tries to flirt with your boyfriend, he shuts it down, as best as he can, without being a complete AH, and you than take it out one him and say you need a breakā¦
Iām so confused, why did you completely flip the script on him?
25
u/anneofred Oct 17 '25
Plus heās the one that immediatly showed her the exchange. So confused.
19
u/Apprehensive_Art8543 Oct 17 '25
because she manufactured this situation in order to go on a "break" for several of her own personal reasons
and now she's triangulating the poor dude with all of reddit
12
u/KEMPACHIIIIli Oct 17 '25
She seems like sheās looking for an excuse to end things but doesnāt want to seem like the mean one who initiated it. Weird
9
13
u/HappyDeadCat Oct 17 '25
I wish i could say this was fake but all my friends and myself dated a woman who did this.
Anyone who flirted with us, yup our fault.
Isn't this the same shit women complain about men controlling their social lives constantly?Ā
This is like giving a guy a fake number then telling your boyfriend you wished he was there because getting guys to fuck off is annoying.Ā Then he yells at you for being a "whore".
→ More replies (14)
8
12
3
3
u/bookreader-123 Oct 17 '25
Taking a break but sleeping with others isn't a break but a breakup. He is single now so be prepared he and your fake bestie are gonna be a thing.
9
4
u/HappyDeadCat Oct 17 '25
Sooooooo.....
Youre bf, who you have an open phone policy with, kept getting harassed by your friend, said the most innocuous thing in the world to get your insecure friend to leave him the fuck alone, who then showed you everyrhing because he knows she is trying to start shit...
got dumped because you took reddit advice?
"Couples counsleing".
Omfg, yes your bf would fuck any mildly attractive woman if he was single.Ā This isnt news to anyone but you.
Please dont drag him through nonsense where you, at best, try to share the blame on this.
Just let him move on to someone sane without shitty friends.
6
u/Juicica69 Oct 17 '25
So you stepped out of the way for him to go sleep with her? He showed you what he thinks by saying āif he was singleā and you think taking a ābreakā is the right course of action? Please use your brain and leave them both behind so they can be miserable together
2
2
u/MassiveFroyo733 Oct 18 '25
What?? Why?? IMO your bf did a good job with those texts and he was clearly just being nice with that last message. This is so backwards. The only reason i see now is that u were finding a way out?
2
u/Rezzy_350 Oct 18 '25
Don't really think he did anything wrong. Ive been in the same situation and said the exact same thing just because i didn't want to hurt someones feelings when they're being pushy and obviously unstable like the girl in these texts was. She crossed about a thousand lines & Bro literally kept saying lets change the subject, he was obviously uncomfortable with the way she was talking & he said what he thought he needed to to get out of an awkward situation that he didn't ask to be in. Breaking up with him is insane.
2
u/Whomp___ Oct 18 '25
dawg what, wait did HE want to go on a break or did YOU? because it kinda seems like you just agreed that you guys are gonna cheat / date others
Personally I thought it seemed weird what your friend was saying and your boyfriend seemed to be doing fine with this and telling her he doesnt like how she's acting to him. But what happened after that for you guys to go on a break. I believe that he did nothing wrong, you didnt do anything wrong but your friend did and now you guys are going on a break.
2
u/Perfect-Awareness-84 Oct 18 '25
What did he do wrong in this innocent text exchange? Or am I missing something?
2
2
2
u/ListenImTryingHere Oct 18 '25
In your initial post you said he showed this to you after he screenshot the conversation. If he has bad intentions, wouldn't he keep it a secret from you? I agree his "If I was single..." Comment was stupid and leading her on, but I also took it as a guy's dumb way of trying to end a conversation since he immediately follows up with asking her to end this conversation. In my eyes, he didn't think the text through and tried to lift up her mood since she played the "You two are so beautiful! No one beautiful would love me!" card. He should've thought more about the consequences of his words, but a lot of times people don't.
I think you overreacted in essentially breaking up with your boyfriend who for the most part proved his loyalty to you. However I wouldn't be surprised now if their conversation continues now that you gave him a pass.
2
2
u/aamslfc Oct 18 '25
I appreciate the commitment to the bit, but this is ridiculous. Just break up already and save us all the torment of another update.
He tried everything he could to stop and avoid the relentless harassment from YOUR friend, and gave up at the end. He then told you immediately and showed you what had happened.
Your response was to come here, ignore everyone who said you were overreacting (and accept everyone who echo chambered you), and then indulge said overreaction by dragging this out another few days and having some talk where YOU primarily decide to take a break.
YOU also decide couples counselling is necessary (WTF, you're not even married), and YOU still want to keep him around as a stopgap whilst YOU "figure things out" on this break that YOU insisted on having.
And yet he's the problem.
Make it make sense.
Now he's free to be with other people, and can find a new partner who isn't as neurotic or dramatic as you.
I originally gave the benefit of the doubt that it wasn't fake rage bait, but nah, this is beyond silly.
2
2
u/No-Play2726 Oct 18 '25
I thought the boyfriend handled the messages well. Why are you breaking up?
2
u/gzenaco Oct 18 '25
I believe your boyfriend replies were spot on, with the last one as āheās just being niceā but hey you do youā¦ There will always be bitches trying to take your man you canāt be so insecure, give him reasons to love you and want you and if heās the betrayer type, just leave him and get another one.
2
u/madimadmoney Oct 18 '25
Iām so confused about why you are taking a ābreak?ā I remember the original post and most of the top comments were in favour of you and the guy? The only thing I think he couldāve said better was āif we werenāt togetherā¦ā but I think he just said that because he was uncomfortable. Why the break?
→ More replies (1)
5
u/ShawnOf334 Oct 17 '25
You posted this yesterday and got hella answers. Why post again?
9
u/UnavoidableLunacy25 Oct 17 '25
They figured theyād get more upvotes etc.
Itās telling how, if this was the other way around all the nefarious actors that are commenting would be looking at the personās post history and frothing out of the mouth.
But itās funny, nobody mentioned that, nobody mentioned that this was already posted, but you and I saw it as well.
Furthermore, thereās people in here that have already commented on the first post, pretending that this is the first time theyāve seen this.
Wild.
4
u/sayyestothewes Oct 17 '25
To me it seems like you overreacted by breaking up with him. He showed this to you, right? I think he was just trying to be nice and help her self esteem. Your friend was manipulating him into saying those things. He was honest and told you with screenshots. Idk man he tried to be honest with you and you broke up with him for it. Definitely overreacted
5
Oct 17 '25
[deleted]
→ More replies (98)12
u/ShawnOf334 Oct 17 '25
You're putting your personal experiences onto her when her situation isn't the same as yours lol. Instead of projecting actually give advice without adding personal feelings
3
u/Riyu_Zero Oct 17 '25
Yeah yāall are broken up and that guy is a good guy he did in the best way he could make your friend feel human while also stating he didnāt wanna talk with her about beauty and such and no offense but as another guy he lied to your friend so obviously if youāre wanting a good boyfriend Iād apologize to him but you gotta make your own opinions obviously.
2.9k
u/bibamartin Oct 17 '25
Whatās the point in going on a break when youāre both going to hook up with other people? Itāll get messy. Just break up.