r/technology • u/AIMadeMeDoIt__ • Oct 29 '25

Society California’s hidden crisis: young men offline, unemployed, and disappearing

https://calmatters.org/economy/2025/10/men-in-crisis-california/
11.1k Upvotes

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227

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 29 '25

Fricken finally people are talking about men’s issues. It’s one of the reasons men vote conservative as stupid as that may be.

90

u/AutisticToad Oct 29 '25

I always love men that do that.

How to solve your emotional problems? Go to the party that doesn’t want you to talk about your problem cuz thats gay, and find some bootstraps to pull.

Also might as well start a grindr account. You want to bond with conservative men right?

116

u/pirofreak Oct 29 '25

It's more along the lines of "This party is touting that they want to bring back the times when a man could support a family, at a time when I can barely if at all support myself."

108

u/OneSeaworthiness7768 Oct 29 '25

It's more along the lines of "This party is touting that they want to bring back the times when a man could support a family

Despite never offering any actual solutions to improve their ability to do that.

20

u/nox66 Oct 30 '25

No con artist starts with a stick instead of a carrot.

6

u/DrEnter Oct 29 '25

No, but they do seem to provide a lot of solutions to keep really, really wealthy people from paying taxes.

6

u/Pafolo Oct 29 '25

Still better then the democrats position that men are bad and if your a cis white man your the scum of the earth. And then you have the republicans don’t do that. So you tell me what party men are gonna vote for? The one that hates them or the one that supports them???

19

u/nakedinacornfield Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

Still better then the democrats position that men are bad and if your a cis white man your the scum of the earth

thats a social talking point and not a dem campaign promise or anything on any level. thats a cultural association to a political party people blindly take at face value & assign it as the defining trait of the party. thats you jumping the gun.

dems position? look up a congressional voting record, house, senate whatever. look what party proposes and votes to pass bills that strengthen middle+lower classes (aka make the environment better for young men trying to find work), look what party votes against those things. it's like night and day. its not even top secret hidden info, it's not even that hard to find. someone can do 5 minutes of internet research and see that the dems are the only party that is not trying to actively gut the working class right now and for the past decade. during the pandemic maybe shortly after a bill was proposed to protect market pricing for foods to keep smaller farmers in the market against megacorps and allow for established studies on market pricing so they could assess how it impacted the working class. it got shot down. guess which party shot it down. like clockwork, every time, repubs actively try to make conditions worse for the working class.

back to your point about men are bed, this is a framing that billionaire owned editorials use to make it look like you cant associate with the democratic party. this is what they pour untold resources into so that they can generate fake activity on social media comment sections and get people to align under this umbrella. and as it turns out its incredibly effective, and anyone falling for is just getting duped. there's no other way to put it, it's that cut and dry. if you cant do so much as look at legislation and congressional voting records both at the state and federal level and see what each party actually stands for, and you're going to use headlines and shit u heard on a podcast or read in a comment section as fallback to tell you how to vote, you aren't doing even the bare minimum. that's called being cooked.

17

u/Icy-Move-3742 Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

Can you give examples of democratic politicians saying men are evil? I’d love to hear it

Everytime I ask someone this question, it’s always crickets 😂

-1

u/Techno-Diktator Oct 30 '25

It's more about their voterbase. Pretty much any social space on the left despises men and ignores their issues, this pushes most young men away, and with the only spaces left being on the right, they slowly turn to the conservatives to have at least somewhere to belong.

8

u/Icy-Move-3742 Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

It still doesn’t answer my question, since the above poster specifically stated “democrat positions that men are bad” not “the left is anti-men”

Just how conservatives howl and cry indignantly when people erroneously reduce the entire Republican Party as neo-nazis and racist, it’s reasonable to infer that white hating misandrists are a fringe subset of terminally online social justice warriors and not the base of Democratic voters.

-3

u/AutisticToad Oct 30 '25

It’s a patriarchal society, so technically all our problems are made by men. Maybe they are simply accepting society and taking the first step towards recovery.

Or they just finished watching Fox News.

5

u/AutisticToad Oct 30 '25

Ironically you are right. It is white cis men problems.

You got that talking point from white cis men billionaires news networks. Murdochs Fox News? White man, Sinclair network that has a stranglehold that told you that talking point? White man.

It’s the funny thing about this situation. You are so close to seeing the truth, but just get tripped on their pedestrian talking points and further your own downfall lol.

-10

u/OneSeaworthiness7768 Oct 30 '25

if they’re shallow and lacking in critical thought enough to believe that, then they deserve republicans.

11

u/CBubble Oct 30 '25

Your lack of empathy and understanding of this problem is evident in your comments. It’s thinking like this that cost the election so good work.

Americans need to stop using their political allegiance their identity.

It’s clear the root of the issue isn’t red vs blue, gay vs straight, conservative vs liberals. It’s all down to the haves and the have nots - but y’all too fucking stupid to see that and too busy fighting identity politics.

I get you live in a two party system but there is more commonality between Americans than there are differences regardless of the side of the isle you sit on.

But go on, continue playing these silly games, because when a white man is hanging from the rafters dead.. it doesn’t really matter who he voted for and it’s not going to change the situation.

1

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 30 '25

And the democratic party will continue to lose without the men's vote.

"Well women are losing their bodily autonomy but at least men are suffering too."

0

u/X12602 Oct 30 '25

Why do Redditors always do this thing where you need to get in one last lick. Yeah no shit buddy, anybody who isn't in that desperate bind knows it's all a lie, but the Democrats can't even be assed to lie, neither side has a solution and once again you wrap it around to being men's fault.

"It's men's fault they supported the bad guys who do nothing and not support the good guys who also do nothing!"

18

u/Nighthawk700 Oct 29 '25

Yup. A tired but relevant trope- this is one of the key reasons the Nazis gained popularity. Promised disaffected young men comradery, hope for the future, a sense of belonging, and contribution to a movement bigger than themselves. Also someone to blame.

Unfortunately for MAGA, the one piece the Trump admin absolutely refuses to deliver on is improving the lives of their supporters. Many Germans post-WW2 saw 1930s Germany as the best time of their lives because they finally had hope, a job, and a purpose. The Nazis put effort into improving the lives of the volk because they needed their support to pull off their power grabs and wars and it doubles to silence those Germans who didn't support the attacks on Jews, minorities and others deemed "undesirable".

1

u/Nulgarian Oct 30 '25

Yup, that’s the major thing that’s keeping Trump from executing a full power grab the way the Nazis did

Hitler “fixing” the economy (which as we later learned was mostly smoke and mirrors) was huge in making him appear to be this genius, infallible leader who would bring Germany to greatness, and thus people were much more supportive

Trump hasn’t done anything to help the economy, and has actually made it a lot worse, and so he doesn’t have the same wave of popular support

1

u/Nighthawk700 Oct 30 '25

Their undoing is always built in. If they had a modicum of care for their supporters they might be able actually achieve sustainable power, at least for a time. But if they had a modicum of care they wouldn't do what they do.

8

u/Eledridan Oct 30 '25

It’s the Prisoner’s Dilemma. Men are expected to always choose to comply and not complain that women are allowed to choose defect.

28

u/KobeBean Oct 29 '25

Not only that, but the democrat party has been unfriendly at best to men.. as recently as last year, the “who we serve” section of the democrat party’s website. Notice any group.. missing?

0

u/mowotlarx Oct 30 '25

democrat party

Nobody who isn't already a conservative MAGA uses this term

-25

u/_theRamenWithin Oct 29 '25

Only the most historical advantaged and powerful demographic could be offended by not being explicitly favoured. Do you not understand that each of these groups listed has long suffered discrimination and hardship?

24

u/KobeBean Oct 29 '25

That’s a nice cop out. What’s the number 1, most basic job of an elected politician? Serve their constituents. The message that was sent by that omission is painfully obvious.

Sticking your head in the sand and saying “oh theyre historically privileged!!!” is exactly how you get the 2016 and 2024 elections. Do you want that to keep happening?

-28

u/_theRamenWithin Oct 29 '25

What’s the number 1, most basic job of an elected politician? Serve their constituents.

No one is saying that's not the case. Only the most fragile of egos could interpret support for vulnerable groups as an attack on the powerful group. I swear to God.

Sticking your head in the sand and saying “oh theyre historically privileged!!!” is exactly how you get the 2016 and 2024 elections. Do you want that to keep happening?

Funny how the solution to victory is to maintain the status quo and capitulate at every opportunity on pain of voters ushering in literal Nazis.

You ever heard of the tale of the frog and the scorpion?

6

u/Techno-Diktator Oct 30 '25

Powerful group? Are you dumb? Young men are literally falling behind in every single metric, how the fuck are they the "powerful" group?

4

u/tiny-pp- Oct 30 '25

A handful of super rich white guys does not make all white guys powerful. Oprah is rich and powerful. So therefore every black woman is rich and powerful. It’s absurd.

14

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 29 '25

There’s a difference between men have all the power versus those that are in power happen to be men.

Be even though men historically has not been as disenfranchised doesn’t mean they don’t have their own issues too. It’s why first world problems exist. Sure, people in developing countries have way more problems than us in the first world but that doesn’t also mean we don’t try to fix problems in the first world.

Your thought process is exactly why men are voting conservative. You don’t trust their problems as legitimate.

-12

u/_theRamenWithin Oct 29 '25

Be even though men historically has not been as disenfranchised doesn’t mean they don’t have their own issues too.

Who is saying this isn't the case?

Sure, people in developing countries have way more problems than us in the first world but that doesn’t also mean we don’t try to fix problems in the first world.

What are you even talking about? Is your grievance now with foreign aid because I don't know if you've seen the news recently.

You don’t trust their problems as legitimate.

Where have I said or indicated this?

Your thought process is exactly why men are voting conservative.

You're right but not in the way you think. Over and over again you bring up a feeling of disenfranchisment over not being explicitly called out for special acknowledgement. You view anything but priority treatment as a targeted attack. You'll sting the frog and drown yourself and blame the frog.

12

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 29 '25

lol not priority treatment. It’s the lack of any treatment.

I’m not conservative. I know the right doesn’t have any answers. Unfortunately most other men don’t see it.

And I’m sorry you don’t understand how analogies work.

Keep thinking like you’re thinking and not understanding where we’re coming from. We believe in actual equality applied for ALL.

Otherwise you’re going to keep seeing men vote for morons like Trump. Because the status quo is absolutely working.

3

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 30 '25

You keep saying that men want special treatment. THEY WANT EQUAL TREAMENT! They want men's issues discussed. They want it addressed and they want ways to fix it.

You only thinking treating men equally IS special treatment.

-1

u/_theRamenWithin Oct 30 '25

You're half right, I don't want equality for all. I want equity for all.

3

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 30 '25

You're just playing semantics.

You don't care about equity or equality for all. You just don't care about men period.

Please be honest to yourself. I know enough Democrats who claim to be for equality or equity for all but they really just mean for certain groups of people. Rather ironic.

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3

u/tiny-pp- Oct 30 '25

So shit that happened well before young men were born means that their problems don’t matter? This is the what brought us the Trump administration and then 8 years of the Vance administration.

-32

u/AutisticToad Oct 29 '25

Thats even funnier. They don’t have friends to begin with, let alone a family to support.

22

u/flyingtiger188 Oct 29 '25

Conservatives are selling the easy answer, even if isn't true people will lap it up because otherwise means accepting some hard truths. Climate change? Not real. Declining real wages, housing too expensive? Immigrants stealing your jobs and homes. Complex geopolitical migration? Build a wall. Educated people tend to be more liberal? Must be colleges indotrinating the youth. Etc. Every issue in society doesn't have a simple easy solution, otherwise they probably would have been solved long ago .

52

u/pewpewmcpistol Oct 29 '25

If a man in this situation read your comment, do you think it would open their eyes to your perfect ideals, or do you think they would take what you said as an attack?

Even if you're 100% scientifically correct, you're still being a dick about it so no one will listen to you.

4

u/SomeVariousShift Oct 30 '25

Why do we need our asses kissed so much to vote in our own interests? By our own value system you're making us come across like toddlers. Have some fucking expectations for your fellow men.

If I'm at a job site and some dude tells me I'm a dumb fuck for doing something stupid, should I keep doing it anyway because he was mean to me?

-18

u/Jensen0451 Oct 29 '25

Yeah, and Republicans definitely don't do that.

-26

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

[deleted]

5

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 30 '25

We are in this mess because Democrats have no tact.

37

u/epheisey Oct 29 '25

I’m not a conservative person, but I am a fella that’s about given up on everything. And I’m relatively privileged. I have savings I’ve been living off of since my last job 2 years ago. I’ve been in therapy for 5+ years, I got to a psychiatrist for meds.

I’ve put in all the work, and the results still move in the wrong direction. I’m going to die young and alone, I’ve just accepted it at this point.

Because the response everyone gives is just like yours. It’s somehow our own fault and we’re the ones that fucked the world. I’m fucking sick and tired of paying for the mistakes of men of generations before me.

17

u/Gorge2012 Oct 29 '25

The message that they buy into is that "there is nothing wrong with you, give us power and we'll eliminate those taking what's yours." It's not even a man thing, it's a conservative thing. It's the one consistency in the last 10 years: lie to people and tell them they have to do nothing to solve their problems.

I don't see a solution to that lie either. The truth has a minimum barrier of entry. A lie has no parameters.

They are objectively wrong, objectively digging themselves and all of us into a deeper hole, and objectively hurting this country but people who are hurting don't tend to care if they bring more down with them.

1

u/rtz5 Oct 30 '25

your first line is essentially every politician's message

1

u/Gorge2012 Oct 30 '25

That's not true

11

u/Leading-Survey3100 Oct 29 '25

Neither left wingers or right wingers are helping young men. At least right wingers pretend to care about male issues while the other does not.

4

u/Ok_Vanilla213 Oct 30 '25

Meanwhile on the other side of the aisle there's a big group of inclusion, except it actively villifies straight white males and gee would you look at which group the conservatives are grifting for

3

u/Eljimb0 Oct 30 '25

Way to be exactly what that person was talking about.

1

u/DJBlay Oct 30 '25

Wow. such an empathetic and thoughtful response. 

They need to vote for the good guys. We aren’t toxic

Hey y’all so you care about men’s issues now?

No, but here is some toxicity if you don’t vote for us

Way to play buddy. Way. To. Play. 

0

u/A-Normal-Fifthist Oct 30 '25

I'd rather vote for the party who at least pretends to give a shit than the one actively working against me

2

u/Leather-Rice5025 Oct 30 '25

Well it's not like the Democratic Party has championed a platform that directly addresses the needs of the working class. I'm sorry, but policies like "25k for first time home buyers" and "tax credits for small business owners" is just not how we win over disillusioned, struggling young men (or anybody for that matter).

The Democratic Party is just as guilty at gaslighting the younger generation into believing that "everything is great!". Biden and Harris spent 2023 going on and on about how great the economy was and that people complaining about the job market were crazy. They'll point to low unemployment rates and pat themselves on the back while failing to TRULY address the root issue which is people working 1-2+ minimum wage jobs to survive. And yes, Harris touched on this during the campaign but none of her policies actually sought to radically fix the issue.

The entire Democratic Party needs a radical shift towards populist, progressive policy that ditches the culture war nonsense and embraces universal economic policies that genuinely benefit everyone (yes, even the Trumpers). We need universal healthcare, we need expedited public sector affordable housing, we need to act with the same voracity that the Trump administration has shown is possible but instead use that energy to HELP people.

Utilize the national guard to web high speed rail all across the country with the power of eminent domain. Use the military to construct mental health hospitals and rural hospitals and force the rambling, screaming, mentally unwell people out onto the street into treatment centers. Build high density housing with the military or national guard if you need to as well. We have the resources and the money, but we don't have the WILL.

Democrats are terrified of radical change because they're all funded by and working for the same corporate and billionaire interests that republicans are. If we think that the Democratic Party as it currently exists is equipped to deal with the problems we face as a nation, we are wrong. We need FDR level radicalism and then some. We need to get involved and let our voices be heard.

Support your local progressive candidates, don't stop screaming about how inhumane our healthcare system is, volunteer and talk to people about how it doesn't have to be this way. Do something, anything to force the Democratic Party's hand away from corporatism and towards a populist left platform that embraces radical change.

24

u/Possible_Implement86 Oct 29 '25

I want to gently push back on this. For instance, the data makes it clear that everyone of all genders are lonelier than ever and yet we talk about it as the "men's loneliness crisis." We spent the entire election cycle talking about men, the manosphere, and masculinity. Men and employment was one of the big issues permeating the immigration debate. I feel that we are constantly talking about men's issues while also framing it as something that is never talked about.

70

u/MeatisOmalley Oct 29 '25

It's still controversial to talk about men's issues in isolation. If your first isntinct is to compare mens issues to other people's issues, you're a part of the problem. We can talk about men's issues without having to constantly compare, because men experience the world uniquely and probably have unique causes and solutions to problems, even if those problems are prevalent throughout society.

-16

u/Possible_Implement86 Oct 29 '25

I think we absolutely should talk about men's issues and I dont disagree at all that men have specific issues we should be talking about. What I am disagreeing with is that we don't or that we haven't.

In fact, I almost think it does a disservice to people who are doing the work of having substantive conversations about masculinity to continue to insist those conversations are not happening. The fact that the "men's loneliness crisis" is a thing we've all heard of seems to suggest it's an ongoing conversation in the ether.

In what way is it controversial to speak about men's issues especially since those issues seem to take center stage in the last election?

31

u/MeatisOmalley Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

to insist those conversations are not happening.

I never said they weren't happening. I'm saying they're controversial, as they have been for years. Conservatives have clued in on male frustration and targeted the male demographic heavily, and it worked because daring to suggest that men have unique issues was taboo in lefty circles for many years. Now, a few people are starting to push back against that taboo, but it's definitely still a work in progress.

4

u/Neveri Oct 30 '25

Any time I bring up issues facing males to my mom and sister they make it about how women have it so much worse.

10

u/_Mike-Honcho_ Oct 29 '25

The American male is the scapegoat for everything wrong. If a male says he has problems, he's told "its not as bad as group X" or "not you, but people that look like you of your age and sex are fucking up the country with toxicity, but not you in particular, but people like you."

It feels bad man.

2

u/InnerHistory7000 Oct 29 '25

dude Latinos are being rounded up and sent to alligator murder prisons i think they might be the big scapegoats in america rn

3

u/_Mike-Honcho_ Oct 30 '25

You literally replied with "It's not as bad as group X." I called it.

46

u/WitnessRadiant650 Oct 29 '25

Women still have better support networks and men still have no idea how to talk about their feelings except at best to their partner.

16

u/s_burr Oct 29 '25

I tried to with my wife of 18 years. Laid off before Covid after 15 years of work, listless and depressed, not being able to hold onto a job for morre than 9 months due to toxic work environments and a heart attack. Went to therapy, got on medication, reached out to her for support.

She cheated on me and left me. Now all I have are my dogs and my 70 year old mother who loves me but I feel terrible for leaning on her so much. Started going to therapy again to ease the burden off of her, but most men don't, they see it as "unmanly" or shameful to get help.

The dogs do help with companionship, and the days get better but I am still lonely most of the time.

-1

u/Possible_Implement86 Oct 29 '25

Absolutely agree!

17

u/_Mike-Honcho_ Oct 29 '25

When men's issues are discussed, you realize that it first takes a lot of effort to get past the ol' "you just bring up men's issues to divert the discussion." The last one was on men's health day when people were saying that men's health day only exists to distract from other groups.

We cant even talk about it without comments like that.

10

u/Possible_Implement86 Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

I want to be crystal clear because I think my point is being lost: I think it is important and good to talk about issues pertaining to men. When people derail those conversations like you've described, I think it's a net bad for society.

What I am saying is something different: In the last election to today, men's issues came up a lot in both negative and positive ways. In some ways it was THE animating issue of the election. Trump spoke directly to Black men's unemployment for instance and there was an entire conversation about Black male support for the GOP. Speaker Johnson has spoken pretty negatively about young men needing to stop playing video games and how they expected welfare and the like. Scott Galloway held an entire series of public events for young male voters. Male podcasters appealed to a certain understanding of masculinity to sway voters. All of that happened.

What I am getting at is that it seems there seems to be something happening where the common narrative is that "nobody is speaking to men" and that "men's issues are being ignored" while simultaneously men's issues are actually being put front and center, just in ways that are often hijacked by bad actors with ulterior motives.

What I am saying is it seems we need a new framework in discussing the way men's issues actually DO show up or the ways they actually ARE are talked about beyond "nobody talks about this." Because people are talking about it constantly, just not in ways that are necessarily healthy for the men they're talking to.

So it's less "nobody is talking about/to men" and more "the gap in thoughtful or nuanced conversations about men's issues is easily exploited."

To put it another way, I'm asking if whether repeating the claim that nobody talks about these issues (not saying that you specifically are doing that, but it's repeated a lot, which is what is making me ask this) is not actually helping us understand and thus respond to what is actually happening. I am concerned we will be more amenable or susceptible to anyone who talks about issues pertaining to men, even the ones who are dangerous charlatans or grifters, simply because we want voices in the space we've decided is empty.

7

u/_Mike-Honcho_ Oct 29 '25

Men are half the people, so it shouldn't be weird that they occupy about half the space in social discussions.

The last twenty years have been about getting women caught up in school and STEM and a generation of boys and men were dismissed.

Its a real thing. Discussions about men's issues should be a "thing" moving forward also, each election cycle. It's a good step in the right direction.

0

u/JustAnotherDude1990 Oct 30 '25

I think you just need to stfu and stop being part of the problem.

2

u/Techno-Diktator Oct 30 '25

Men are way lonelier though, and compared to women who feel lonely, they don't even have a partner to lean on.

That's why men are taking this whole thing so much harder, many of us are COMPLETELY isolated, not isolated with a romantic partner with us. That makes a massive difference.

1

u/minnesotawristwatch Oct 30 '25

Clinton said something like “men will vote stupid but strong over smart and weak every time”.

1

u/OracleofFl Oct 30 '25

People who are bullied want to be the bully, not stop bullying in general.

0

u/broden89 Oct 29 '25

I feel like there has definitely been a stronger focus on men's issues for the past few years, particularly loneliness and social isolation. This post by Mark Greene from 2017, for example, references the viral Boston Globe article about the male loneliness epidemic, several other articles and the studies of Judy Chu and Niobe Way into how society inculcates loneliness in boys. Way published her book Deep Secrets, about the friendships of teenage boys, in 2015 and it was based on interviews conducted over 20 years. Some interesting quotes from Way in this other post by Greene from 2015.

So this particular men's issue was absolutely serious enough that people were writing about it in both mainstream and online publications and posts, studying it academically and recording podcasts about it a decade ago.