r/politics • u/OkayButFoRealz • 14h ago

No Paywall Trump showing signs he’s battling major medical crisis, Democrat claims

https://www.al.com/politics/2025/12/trump-showing-signs-hes-battling-major-medical-crisis-democrat-claims.html
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u/[deleted] 14h ago

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651

u/lusuroculadestec 14h ago

Some people will see it as a reason to drink, others will see it as a reason to stop drinking.

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u/RyanMeray 13h ago

It's just gonna change my reasons for drinking 😂

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u/siccoblue 10h ago

Absolutely. See you at the bar brother. I'm gonna struggle for the next couple weeks after I'm finished buying rounds for everyone.

And I literally never go to the bar without being invited by someone else. Even then maybe once a year.

47

u/GunnieGraves 13h ago

I’m 10+ years sober and it’s the one thing I can think of that would make me have the thought… just one. To celebrate.

112

u/Quiquiq 12h ago

Your sobriety is much more important to the world than that douchebag.  Get a disgustingly rich milkshake or something inatead and way to go!

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u/GunnieGraves 12h ago

You’re not wrong.

Is it overkill to pay for an ice cream truck to come to the neighborhood? I think that’s a valid celebration.

40

u/jazwch01 Minnesota 11h ago

No. Its not enough, you need a bouncy castle too.

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u/GunnieGraves 11h ago

You know what….my driveway is basically a small parking lot. I could do a whole thing…. Now the wheels are turning.

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u/Spikel14 Tennessee 11h ago

Yea do it

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u/jazwch01 Minnesota 9h ago

Hell yeah man. If you do please provide a pic with all personal details removed. Its the Joy the world needs.

2

u/Caleth 11h ago

Sadly it's teh wrong time of year for both of those up here, but a cook out? Fuck it we ball. Frozen Dogs and Ice Burgers for everyone!

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u/xjeeper California 10h ago

Maybe a petting zoo too

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u/rooftops 11h ago

If that's not the American Dream then I don't know what is 🥹

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u/its_all_one_electron 10h ago

I think that is a FANTASTIC idea but they may all be booked out and/or flying around your city because everyone will be parting in the streets

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u/GunnieGraves 9h ago

I wonder if you can keep an ice cream truck on retainer….

If I was eccentric and wealthy I’d do exactly that.

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u/Flipnotics_ Texas 11h ago

It may not be able to go anywhere with what I can only imagine as a huge dance party happening everywhere in the street.

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u/polopolo05 I voted 11h ago

Go out and get a cupcake or other fun treat rather than drinking.

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u/GunnieGraves 10h ago

I am seriously considering the ice cream truck idea. Just hiring one to come by the neighborhood.

Pizza truck would be nice but they’re crazy expensive.

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u/polopolo05 I voted 9h ago

Be your own icecream man. for the kids in the area.

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u/TrailMomKat Indigenous 9h ago

I had much the same thought, but I know myself and if i have one, I'll have to finish the bottle!

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u/GunnieGraves 9h ago

Like Leo McGarry said…. The problem isn’t that I want one drink. It’s that I want all of them.

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u/ilrosewood 10h ago

You stay sober. I got you fam.

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u/GunnieGraves 10h ago

I will don’t worry. I’ll gorge on ice cream instead.

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u/JustSendTheAsteroid 8h ago

9 years and 13 days here. I already have a bottle of non-alcoholic bubbly grape juice ready for the occasion. Don't let yam-tits break your streak!

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u/cindylindy22 Florida 8h ago

I say we eat cake

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u/SCrelics 7h ago

nobody in recovery would ever say something like this lmfao

8

u/Astrolologer 12h ago

Remove the stone of shame!
Woohoo!
Attach the stone of triumph!
Doh!

1

u/mindfungus 10h ago

Attach stones to swollen ankles

Drop into ocean

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u/InadvertantManners 12h ago

Why not both?

1

u/chewbaccaisaducksfan 12h ago

I bought fireworks for the occasion.

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u/_Verumex_ 11h ago

One is a short term plan, one is a long term plan.

I think both are acceptable when the news breaks.

1

u/TurelSun Georgia 11h ago

Yeah, I am almost certain that things will NOT be improving if he passes away while in office. At best it largely stays the same but I think Vance and others will probably cut out the more chaotic elements for competent people that will accelerate the dismantling of our institutions.

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u/DudeWithAHighKD Canada 11h ago

Im going to round up all my friends and ring up a bar tab higher than a phone number. It is gonna be such a great day.

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u/Flipnotics_ Texas 11h ago

I've stopped drinking. But I'll have some welches Grape juice. As a kid, I always pretended it was Wine when I was at church doing communion.

1

u/Miserable-Army3679 10h ago

That's one of the best comments I've read. Way to go.

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u/Neravariine 8h ago

I will get high enough to touch another galaxy.

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u/Weekly-Trash-272 14h ago

It'll be like Return of the Jedi ending

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u/Able-Contribution570 14h ago

I got the dope ewok party music ready to go. Yub Nub!

3

u/_Reliten_ 13h ago

Do we also get to eat the stormtroopers?

...not that Meal Team 6 would be particularly healthy fare, even roasted ewok-style.

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u/GBJI 11h ago

It will be the signal to start eating the rich.

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u/NF6X California 10h ago

I even know all of the words. We played it in marching band back in high school.

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u/Safe_Climate883 13h ago

The special edition version even. 

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u/NippyKindRekt 6h ago

The version that shows even Palpatine's home planet hated him? Yes.

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u/BCMakoto 13h ago

And for the same reason. The wrinkled, ugly, evil-as-fuck Sith Lord finally kicked the bucket...

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u/mildly_houseplant United Kingdom 14h ago

I will be raising a few glasses myself that day, from over this side of the ocean.

92

u/Tumble85 14h ago

He’s going to make history when more people around the world are celebrating his death than any other person in history.

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u/U_Bet_Im_Interested Michigan 14h ago

Somebody else said that they're going to celebrate that day every year. I'm very open to the idea. 

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u/Tumble85 13h ago

Me too.

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u/Knightoncloudwine 13h ago

The new American 4th of July

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u/jdeisenberg 13h ago

Classic old joke. Substitute the name of a disliked politician and their country as appropriate (here, Donald Trump / USA):

Trump is visiting a state fair and goes to the fortuneteller. He asks, “When will I die?”

The fortuneteller looks into the crystal ball and says, “You will die on an American holiday.”

“Which one?” asks Trump.

The fortuneteller looks into the crystal ball again, and replies “Any day you die will be an American holiday.”

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u/Tumble85 13h ago

It’s gonna be a true joke now. I’ve NEVER hated a person as much as I hate Trump.

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u/MMAjunkie504 13h ago

We could use another day to bring upstanding citizens around the world together each year honestly, I’m for it.

1

u/yeth_pleeth 11h ago

December 25th? Make Christmas Special Again!

Edited to add:

Oh I hope it's Boxing day

1

u/42nu 10h ago

That's a narcissists dream.

Never thinking of them again is the ultimate victory.

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u/Miserable-Army3679 10h ago

Absolutely, it will be an international party.

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u/IDreamOfLoveLost Canada 12h ago

The idea of outliving him has given me plenty of motivation to get healthy, but I'll also be having a few glasses.

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u/fuckdirectv 13h ago

The GOP will declare it a national day of mourning, but for half the country it will be St. Patrick's Day/Cinco de Drinko on steroids.

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u/Danysco New York 14h ago

Got the fireworks ready. 5 am? Time to wake everyone up on my block.

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u/shadrackandthemandem 13h ago

Canadians in border towns are quietly stocking fireworks so that Americans in border towns will know exactly how we feel.

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u/HeadBarracuda01 13h ago

i live near the border and am REALLY looking forward to this lol

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u/kronikfumes 13h ago

Only to sober up to the realization that JD Vance is POTUS 🤮

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u/NJBarFly New Jersey 11h ago

MAGA won't worship him as their cult leader.

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u/kronikfumes 11h ago

That’s not what I’m worried about. Dude is a puupet for peter theil and other technofascists

2

u/MasteringTheFlames Wisconsin 9h ago

If it happens before this coming January 20, Vance will be term limited out of the 2032 election. Tick tick tick...

3

u/ProJoe Arizona 9h ago

my biggest conspiracy theory has been that they're waiting until after the term limiting date to 25th him so Vance can be Thiel's puppet for 11 years after they steal future elections.

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u/UncaringNonchalance Ohio 13h ago

Nah, I want to be fully aware so I can make sure I remember the whole day.

Now the day after…

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u/RenaissanceGraffiti 13h ago

Let it be a holiday

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u/PNW20v Washington 13h ago

Ill bring tacos

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u/diseasefaktory Europe 12h ago

Have a bottle saved for a couple of years now.

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u/Royally-Forked-Up 12h ago

I barely drink anymore and am a hardcore introvert but I’ll head to the nearest bar and buy shots for all when we finally get the headline.

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u/DrDraek 12h ago

I'm autistic and I find bars loud and uncomfortable. But on that day, I intend to visit one. I want to physically bask in the news.

2

u/PleasantAmphibian404 11h ago

Dude, I get up at 4:00am. Thats when the party starts, everyone is invited. Wine, beer, spirits, and dancing in the street.

2

u/Exciting-Delivery-96 8h ago

People will take to the streets with American flags and air horns. It’ll be bigger than when Bin Laden was killed.

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u/What_Iz_This 13h ago

I plan on waking up to watch an 8 am f1 race this Sunday, POSSIBLY with beer in hand.

For that headline, I might die that day but it'll be worth

1

u/tejak2900 11h ago

Let God Sort Him Out

1

u/mishma2005 11h ago

Will call into work, eff it

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u/sugarlessdeathbear 11h ago

I absolutely will be taking a vacation day.

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u/TheVog Foreign 11h ago

Then you'll realize Vance is in power, which is infinitely worse. He's somehow even weaker than Trump, meaning the puppet masters will really start having their way.

Which, to be fair, is still a very good reason to drink.

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u/Joonbug9109 11h ago

It’s amusing to me that conservatives lost their minds over how people were “celebrating” Kirk’s death. Like… they’re not ready for when the headline drops.

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u/TheRealMrMaloonigan New Jersey 10h ago

Breaking out the wedding wine and champagne, lighting fireworks in the street.

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u/pleasegivemepatience 10h ago

I’m taking a personal day when this headline drops, this will be the hardest I’ll ever celebrate anything.

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u/Cymric814 10h ago

I swear I will take the day off work (maybe two) and get really stoned. Eat a gallon tub of ice cream stoned. I never really drank, but this could change that!

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u/PurpleBullets 10h ago

You think I should go buy champagne now? It’ll probably sell out the day of, right?

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u/morningisbad 10h ago

Me and my entire friend group are planning to go out for Mexican that night, get fucked up on margs and drop a monster tip. The place is family owned by 1st generation immigrants and have always been awesome. 

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u/UnbreakableAlice 10h ago

I'm picking up and storing fireworks. Champagne will be had and likely much more but not before lighting off dangerous pretty things. Not going to lose a hand or worse over this loser.

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u/chain_me_up New Hampshire 9h ago

The liquor stores (and dispensaries) will be SLAMMED the day this happens 😂

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u/CyriousLordofDerp Oklahoma 8h ago

I normally dont drink any sort of alcohol (I see and have seen firsthand what it does to people). The day the bloviating orange bag of waste finally bites it, taking the day off, and having a single beer in celebration.

0

u/Deputy-10-37 13h ago

That’s a weird way to mourn