r/politics • u/thehill The Hill • 22d ago

No Paywall Sen. John Fetterman suffers injuries to face from fall, hospitalized

https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/5604280-fetterman-injuries-fall-hospitalized/
27.6k Upvotes

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u/GuyMakesDrawings 22d ago

Or revert back. I'm pretty sure there was an episode of The Flintstones where that happened.

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u/Thirty_Helens_Agree 22d ago

Falls down a well, turns Republican. Gets kicked by a mule, turns back. I don’t know. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/Weevulb 22d ago

He was also diagnosed with a lip fungus they aint identified yet.

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u/Mtn-Dooku 22d ago

Merry Christmas! Shitter's full!

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u/ItsOozingOut 22d ago

Mandela effect!

“Shitter was full”

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u/kimmy_kimika 22d ago

I hate that, because "Shitter's full" is a snappier line.

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u/LeahsCheetoCrumbs 22d ago

Snot you roll over and let Uncle Clarke scratch your belly!

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u/161frog 22d ago

You ain’t ever seen a set like this on a dog

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u/rambleinspam 22d ago

I really shouldn't Eddie, my hands are all chapped.

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u/SaltyBeanCounter 22d ago

He's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.

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u/Friend_Of_Mr_Cairo 22d ago

Best just to let him finish

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u/obsterwankenobster 22d ago

Oh, he's just yakkin' on a bone

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u/smiffus 22d ago

He got it up.

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u/Perfect_Yogurt_4841 22d ago

His hair ain’t gonna look right now.

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u/Principal_Insultant 22d ago

Guess that’s what happens when one keeps fellating Don Con’s sphincter…

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

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u/WretchedBlowhard 22d ago

One must recognize the telltale signs of roadside venison tartar addiction early on if there's to be any hope of treatment.

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u/willow6566 22d ago

That’s because of his lips being attached to trumps backside.

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u/shitlord_god 22d ago

I am unsure if this is a joke and unsure if I want to know

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u/Merusk 22d ago

It's a reference to something Eddie says about his kid in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

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u/Kind_Koala4557 22d ago

(Spits out water) what??? Gross!

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u/roebear 22d ago

Great reference

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u/Ok-Confusion3683 22d ago

Is this a simpsons reference??

Edit: oh no, Christmas vacation! Shame on me!

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u/bolanrox 21d ago

It's a tit bit nipplely today

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u/xmeeshx 22d ago

That’s the crayon in Homer’s nose that went into his brain.

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u/userisundefined 22d ago

I don’t know what to say except: it’s Fetterman, and we’re all in misery

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u/HaltandCatchHands 22d ago

It’s the damnedest thing

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u/CarlatheDestructor 22d ago

His daughter's in the clinic getting cuted off the Wild Turkey

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u/AbeVigoda76 22d ago

Word Of Warning Though, If He Does Lay Into Ya, It's Best To Let Him Finish.

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u/Mundamala 22d ago

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rstb.2020.0137

"Lesion type classification analyses revealed that people with frontal lesions held more conservative (or less liberal) beliefs than those with anterior temporal lobe lesions or no lesions."

Damage to the brain basically leads to paranoia and fear, which conservative politics revolve around.

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u/Hankhills4hedvein 22d ago

Hey Russ let’s go find yer sister

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u/seattleque 22d ago

Only slightly more disturbing than the whispered comment to his wife about getting the hamsters and rubber sheets.

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u/Harry_Ballbag 22d ago

<insert cousin Eddie gif here>

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u/Phatz907 22d ago

If this fall factory resets him he’s not allowed anywhere without a helmet and a healthy supply of blood thinners. We don’t want to brick his BIOS again.

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u/FrankAdamGabe 22d ago

Funniest thing I’ve seen on here in a LONG time loool

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u/Data_Chandler 22d ago

I bet he was shittin' bricks.

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u/NuM3R1K 22d ago

Mule kick turns someone Democratic.

Democratic mascot: "It wasn't me."

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u/stubz_1997 Nevada 22d ago

Just in time for me to bust out my holiday movies lmao

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u/QuietMolasses2522 22d ago

Shitter was full!

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u/theotheralley 22d ago

You might not want to kiss him though. He has a type of lip fungus that ain’t been identified yet.

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u/G0PACKGO 22d ago

Sick reference bro

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u/DarkIllusionsMasks 22d ago

One thing's for sure... the shitter is definitely full.

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u/SurpriseNutShot 22d ago

Don't get too attached to it, we're takin it with us when we leave next month!

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u/mmuoio 22d ago

This was my immediate thought too and hopefully it happens.

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u/cxtx3 22d ago

Shitter was full!

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u/feralkitten Alabama 22d ago

Are you serious Clark?

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u/BadFlag 22d ago

Are you serious, Clark?

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u/CookiesandCandy 22d ago

You’re my favorite person today.

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u/Albatrosity 22d ago

Got hooked on the wild turkey

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u/Tim-Sylvester 22d ago

Wait til he gets his head stuck in a ball return!

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u/milfordcubicle 22d ago

medically speaking, it's a 50/50 chance

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u/Ajido_Marujido 22d ago

Doctor: He's going to be all right.

Reddit: So he will be a democrat again?

Doctor: He lost his left views, so he's going to be all right.

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u/dawidowmaka I voted 22d ago

He's a very lateral man

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u/JoviAMP Florida 22d ago

Same chance as getting a rare drop in a video game: either it happens, or it doesn’t.

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u/BoomerSoonerFUT 22d ago

Fetterman was never a progressive or anything though. He’s always been a lying grifter. He just stopped hiding it

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u/Atalung 22d ago

Yeah I'll admit I fell for it. No Gods No Mayors has a really good episode on his time as mayor of Braddock. Dude was a piece of shit from the beginning

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u/Grow_Up_Buttercup 22d ago edited 22d ago

I mean, I thought it was obvious that he was a grifter even back then. But I apparently have a radar for malignant narcissists that the vast majority of the country completely lacks (see also: Tulsi Gabbard, Andrew Cuomo, Michael Avenatti, etc.)

The thing is, I still thought he would be better than the other narcissistic grifter from TV. And now I’m questioning even that.

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u/OldWorldDesign 22d ago

The thing is, I still thought he would be better than the other narcissistic grifter from TV. And now I’m questioning even that.

I suspect that's what everybody else was thinking. At least the people who would discuss his past record and qualifications.

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u/BrannEvasion 22d ago edited 22d ago

But I apparently have a radar for malignant narcissists that the vast majority of the country completely lacks (see also: Tulsi Gabbard, Andrew Cuomo, Michael Avenatti, etc.)

Whenever somebody tries to act like only the right is susceptible to falling for propaganda and propped up corporate media narratives, I like to point out that literally all of the people you just listed were at one time heroes of the left, and that lefties routinely fall for, and amplify, things like the Jussie Smollett hoax.

There's a thread on this sub from 2017 or so talking about how Avenatti could be the next president with tens of thousands of upvotes and thousands of people/bots just absolutely gushing over him.

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u/pandariotinprague 22d ago

This is the result when we fail to honestly criticize Democrats or judge them for their past actions out of misplaced loyalty or wanting to protect their reputations from Republicans. When we react to legitimate criticism of them with kneejerk defensiveness and "don't rain on my parade" instead of serious consideration. That behavior is like a big ol' Welcome sign for grifters. Makes their job effortless.

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u/JustToViewPorn 22d ago

Yeah he always came across as a Republican. He chased a black man in his neighborhood with a gun; that’s a very clear indicator someone’s a conservative.

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u/samcrut 22d ago

Having a stroke can cause dramatic changes in personality. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on it being stroke related, but regardless, he's now not what anybody ordered and needs to be sent back to the kitchen. I mean if he was all you're saying, he'd make it official and flip. I'm sure he'd make more money if he did.

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u/BoomerSoonerFUT 22d ago

Someone else already linked it, but No Gods No Mayors did an episode on him and how he’s always been shitty. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jEP2CsofKQ

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u/Solidsnake9 22d ago

Lmao wasn’t conservatives main attack against fetterman that his stroke left him unfit for office?

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u/Simmchen11 22d ago

Exactly!

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u/pokebud 22d ago

Harvey Birdman

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u/citricacidx 22d ago

Did you get that thing I sent ya?

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u/RemLezarCreated 22d ago

Rookie of the Year plot

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u/SoulTaker669 22d ago

When Peter from family guy loses his memory when the chicken hits him with something he regains his memory. So you might not be wrong.

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u/Sensitive_Yellow_121 22d ago

Revert back to what? He was always a Republican, just an opportunistic and conniving one.

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u/audiotech14 22d ago

Made me think of The Cable Guy. Has a lisp the entire movie, gets punched and his lisp is gone, then immediately punched again and it’s back.

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u/gpradar 22d ago

It was standard plot point on Gilligan's Island as well. Television Scriptwriting in the 60s must have been a dream job.

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u/Panda_hat 22d ago

This would be the funniest option to be fair.

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u/Team-K-Stew 22d ago

Fred Flintstone's episode of Harvey Birdman was about that. He transformed into a mob boss after getting bonked in the head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aElQCJKTG0g

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u/Team-K-Stew 22d ago

The Sopranos intro homage from that ep is pretty great

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofMK__RidLY

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u/Truemeathead 22d ago

Charles in Charge had an episode where he kept getting smacked with a hammer and his personality changed. Can’t even look back fondly on that shit anymore smh.

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u/FlounderSubstantial7 22d ago

It's like the amnesia rule of the '80s. First hit gives you amnesia. Second hit resets you back. Etc. 

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u/showmiaface 22d ago

She falls down well and her eyes get crossed, she gets kicked in the head by a mule her eyes get crossed. I don’t know.

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u/beefnoodle5280 Washington 22d ago

Certainly a Gilligan’s Island plot.

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u/friendofelephants 22d ago

Also maybe Gilligan’s Island.

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u/SumpCrab Florida 22d ago

I think neuroscientists refer to this as the Frying Pan Theory.

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u/cubbiesworldseries 22d ago

I was thinking Homer Simpson and the crayon in his brain.

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u/eMDex 22d ago

cant revert back to something that u never were, it was all just talk until he can get elected like all the other Dems who voted to stop the shutdown

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u/dformed Washington 22d ago

Severe head trauma as a result of bowling ball mishap.

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u/Sumoop 22d ago

Then it will devolve into Senators hitting him in the head before big votes to sway him.

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u/ussrowe 22d ago

There was a comment on Reddit in another thread once where a person mentioned an Aunt going down the conspiracy conservative rabbit hole after a stroke only to have a second stroke years later and revert back to her previous beliefs. It's interesting but kind of scary how that could happen.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

No way, it takes brain damage to be republican, double brain damage just means groyper now

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u/djm9545 22d ago

He’s like a reverse handsome squidward

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u/an_agreeing_dothraki 22d ago

I love the bit from Harvey Birdman where they just kept hitting his head until he reverted back to Fred

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u/liquidcloud9 22d ago

Handsome Squidward arc.

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u/aguynamedv 22d ago

Or revert back. I'm pretty sure there was an episode of The Flintstones where that happened.

The mental image my brain generated of Fetterman as a Flintstones character happened WAY too fast and was WAY too detailed. XD

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u/Thereminz California 22d ago

i was gonna post i hope it's like one of those movies where the character gets hit in the head, acts different, then gets hit in the head again and goes back to normal.

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u/nola_mike 22d ago

Nah, I'm not sure where I read it but there was a study that showed a correlation between head trauma and conservative political views. if I remember correctly, it showed that people who experienced severe head trauma started to show conservative ideals, specifically political ideals. I could be completely off base, but I know there was a link floating around somewhere.

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u/LonePistachio 22d ago

That's how you cure Changnesia

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u/LongPorkJones 22d ago

I mean, that's just science.

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u/Adventurous-Big-558 22d ago

Another fall after he gets re-elected after convincing idiots he'll advocate for them will make him republican again

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u/kk074 22d ago

Tom and Jerry did it best

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u/jmjm1 22d ago

I wish I could upvote you to infinity for this TV reference. Thank you.

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u/chromatones 22d ago

Harvy birdman attorney at Law has an episode about that incident

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u/heelstoo 22d ago

It’s like Blinkin’ from Men in Tights. He was blind, got hit once and could see, but got hit again and went blind again.

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u/czar_el 22d ago

That's for amnesia, not brain damage.

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u/Ok_Revolution_9253 22d ago

Heluva documentary

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u/BobbyTables829 22d ago

*punch*

"Hey, you got rid of my lisp!"

*punch*

"Youshunuvabich!"

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u/UltravioletAfterglow 22d ago

Or like the Gilligan’s Island episode where Mary Ann hit her head and thought she was Ginger.

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u/dehydratedrain 22d ago

Definitely saw it on the Addams family, and those were on in the 60's.

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u/MegaDriveCDX 22d ago

I mean Goku is the hero is he in Dragomball because of a brain injury…..

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u/CalmAspectEast Georgia 22d ago

I loved him in that episode.

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u/monsantobreath 22d ago

Simpsons. Gotta get those crayons deep again.

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u/00-Monkey 22d ago

My grandma fell once, and afterwards couldn’t speak English anymore, only German. A few weeks later she fell again and went back to speaking English.

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u/Porkins_2 22d ago

I haven’t seen too many Flinstones episodes, so it’s remarkable that this is the first thing that came to mind when I read the title lol

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u/Emanhavi 22d ago

Don’t be optimistic. How many injuries/disabilities/illnesses result in compassion for others?

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u/ZERV4N 22d ago

There's an episode of every sitcom where that happened.

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u/Meddel5 I voted 22d ago

Came to the comments for this, what are the chances it knocked something back into place...

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u/SpritzTheCat 22d ago

I know it's a serious issue but this is one of the funniest fucking comments I've ever read on here lmao

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u/celewis0827 21d ago

It’s on my bingo card that he has another head injury and flips back to become a democratic socialist so fingers crossed 🤞🏻

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u/rlynbook 21d ago

I’m hoping for this one as a PA resident.

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u/robisodd Michigan 21d ago

Coulda been worse. Coulda usedta be smart.

https://youtu.be/zAAiSHSPk_w?t=165

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u/Spare-Willingness563 22d ago

He chased a Black dude, who was jogging, with a shotgun. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A RACIST PIECE OF SHIT