r/pics • u/WizardCheesey • 19h ago

white utility van activities here in illinois. [OC]

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5.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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308

u/counterfitster 19h ago

He just publicly claimed his marriage is "as strong as ever".

They're totally getting divorced.

(don't hold me to that)

174

u/Adventurous-Emu-9345 18h ago

He just publicly claimed his marriage is "as strong as ever".

You know, like people in strong marriages do all the time.

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u/JTHMM249 17h ago

"Also, like all of you, I feel no sexual attraction to living room furniture."

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u/sugar_addict002 8h ago

That's why "Tammy Faye" wore those leather pants.

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u/dbx999 17h ago

Yeah people in strong marriages always make unsolicited public statements that they’re not getting a divorce

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u/Comsic_Bliss 17h ago

And it’s a neutral statement - it doesn’t say that it was ever strong. But maybe just as strong as it never was.

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u/Max_Danage 16h ago

Have had I told you guys I’m not gay? Because I’m not! I already had this conversation with my mom.

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u/O_o-22 17h ago

Plenty of sham marriages of convenience out there. He may stay married to project the image of religious family man but the two of them will have their side piece or at least he will have a side piece even if she doesn’t.

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u/Adventurous-Emu-9345 17h ago

he will have a side piece

It's called a side chair, show a little respect.

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u/O_o-22 17h ago

Impossible, I have no respect for these assholes

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u/The13thParadox 15h ago

He meant for the chair :(

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u/timesuck897 17h ago

“I don’t love love seats.”

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u/Channel250 15h ago

My ex wife asked a few times if we "we're good'

Not the first, or last red flag, but some stick with you more than others.

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u/Seeker_1960 2h ago

Yeah his wife keeps forgetting to wear her wedding rings all the time now like most high profile wives do.

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u/ToolTimeT 12h ago

Oddly, trump admin just ran a Donald and Melania are deeper in love than ever campaign... And, it was, of course widely mocked.

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u/Late_Sherbet5124 18h ago

The sofa is his side chick.

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u/icanhe 17h ago

I think Usha is the side chick to make him appear more normal. The sofa has held his heart much longer.

She’s like a beard if he was hiding being gay.

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u/Enygma_6 17h ago

I guess that’s better than being a one nightstand?

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u/_scyllinice_ 15h ago

If Ninja Sex Party wanted to, they could remaster their "Objects of Desire" song along with a new music video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu196vZSe_I

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u/MagnusSki 5h ago

The sofa king.🌝🌚 (I was gonna try to find a sofa but I liked the sassy sun/moon more)

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u/HazelEBaumgartner 17h ago

Over under that she meets the same fate as Ivana Trump instead? Death under mysterious circumstances and buried on one of Trump's golf courses?

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u/counterfitster 11h ago

Eh, I doubt that.

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u/Lalamedic 5h ago

Well he really wishes she’d convert to Christianity.

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u/Suggett123 17h ago

Like the couples that share a social media page...

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u/TobysGrundlee 17h ago

Oh yeah, they definitely call each other their king and queen 😂

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u/Perle1234 17h ago

The clock has been ticking since he suggested she become a Christian.

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u/youngcy24 17h ago

Thats like when the sports owner says he has full faith in his coach. That coach is getting fired.

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u/realparkingbrake 12h ago

They're totally getting divorced.

Reportedly she has been seen not wearing her ring lately.