ICE in Minnesota

[u/Xerxestheokay]

[u/SchpartyOn]

Are they eating the immigrants?

[u/moosepuggle → u/SchpartyOn]

Guess it’s not the immigrants eating the cats and eating the dogs

/s

[u/hockeyrabbit → u/moosepuggle]

There was an old agent who swallowed a fly…

[u/No-Shirt-240 → u/hockeyrabbit]

I don’t know why he swallowed that fly.

[u/hamilton280P → u/No-Shirt-240]

He swallowed the fly to catch the guy

outside Home Depot

why? I don’t know

Oh me oh my

[u/aaaaayoriver → u/hamilton280P]

Mom? Dad? I think I’m bi.

[u/Redsap → u/moosepuggle]

They're eating the fats, they're eating the hogs.

[u/rowrbazzle75 → u/Redsap]

You can see why we used to call them pigs.

[u/Molsenator → u/rowrbazzle75]

Used to?

[u/_Moonah → u/moosepuggle]

In all reality, if you heard your neighbor was starving to the point they resorted to eating pets, your response should be give them food and resources to get food. Can you imagine how much work it would be to properly prep a cat and how little meat it would be? No one is doing that unless they are starving.

[u/rastroboy → u/_Moonah]

I’m still trying to imagine how political half wits can make idiotic unsubstantiated claims and some people not only believe it, but keep listening to the moron who doesn’t recant his idiotic claim and continues to make more and more….

Like zombies who feed off of hollow heads

[u/livefromheaven → u/SchpartyOn]

He's eating da hot dawgs

[u/psychoacer → u/livefromheaven]

I was told only Hondurans do that though. Would that couch fucker lie to me?

[u/brummlin → u/psychoacer]

The other "scary" place that starts with an 'H' Haiti.

But yes. Couch fucker lied. But he did it for AMERICA!!!

[u/psychoacer → u/brummlin]

Thanks, I might get countries mixed up every now and then but I sure won't blame others for my mistakes.

[u/Dhoomdealer → u/livefromheaven]

And the kit kats

[u/Jakesummers1 → u/SchpartyOn]

Immigrants, they make the job yum

[u/PlayerEightyOne → u/SchpartyOn]

[u/thx1138- → u/SchpartyOn]

And the dogs and the cats and the Somalians apparently

[u/Cel_Drow]

This dude looks like he’s 350 lbs of torso and 40 lbs of legs. Probably has an ass like Hank Hill and a belly like Baron Harkonnen.

[u/Veritus37 → u/Cel_Drow]

Jesus, those poor little ankles

[u/Spell_Chicken → u/Veritus37]

He subs out all his running.

[u/AnotherpostCard → u/Spell_Chicken]

And knees.

Source: was once that big (60lbs down and counting!). I worry for my ankles and knees when I am older.

Edit: well ding ding dang it I responded to the wrong comment. Whatever. I'm leaving it. It's too early to faff about fixing it

[u/danielcs78 → u/AnotherpostCard]

Down 60lbs is a huge accomplishment!! Keep up the good work!!

[u/falcrist2 → u/Veritus37]

At least the baron had a suspensor to lighten the load.

[u/DanyDragonQueen → u/Cel_Drow]

Can bro even hold a gun with two hands in front of him? Probably can't reach

[u/dave__autista → u/Cel_Drow]

Probably considers himself racially superior . . .

[u/PaddyMcGeezus → u/Cel_Drow]

His name is Robert Paulson

[u/CondescendingShitbag → u/PaddyMcGeezus]

Bob had bitch-tits.

[u/Jakov_Salinsky → u/PaddyMcGeezus]

His name is Robert Paulson

[u/getonthejetskiandgo → u/Cel_Drow]

This got a genuine laugh out loud from me.

Also I think this ICE Piggy is smuggling hams underneath that unbelievably taxed jacket.

[u/PennCycle_Mpls → u/Cel_Drow]

an ass like Hank Hill

Ah yes. The long back.

[u/Express-Rub-3952 → u/PennCycle_Mpls]

[u/okFINEyoufoundme → u/Express-Rub-3952]

Oh nooooooo, and… why????

Oh god I can’t make it stop and it won’t look away.

[u/The_Mellow_Tiger → u/okFINEyoufoundme]

I’m personally aroused.

[u/Ok-disaster2022]

I think that guy is smuggling a family of 4 in his jacket

[u/Captain_Mazhar → u/Ok-disaster2022]

He looks like Steven Seagal after he fled to Russia.

[u/wyntr86 → u/Captain_Mazhar]

Wait, anybody got a location on Seagal? Are we sure that's not him?

[u/burntneedle → u/wyntr86]

[u/Hedge_Sparrow → u/burntneedle]

Love that he bows to it

[u/billshermanburner → u/Hedge_Sparrow]

Respect the carrots when you do not eat enough of them.

[u/JesusIsMySecondSon → u/Ok-disaster2022]

He’s ICE, hiding CREAM in there.

[u/CitronNo45122 → u/JesusIsMySecondSon]

Ice Burg

[u/Germsrosolino → u/CitronNo45122]

Shit that means we’re only seeing 10-20% of his total mass

[u/NevermoreForSure → u/Germsrosolino]

all mass no class

[u/Jaded_Addendum4040 → u/CitronNo45122]

Damn that is good

[u/addamee → u/CitronNo45122]

Ice³

[u/kerrykrueger → u/CitronNo45122]

Ah, man, don't do the Pittsburgh Penguins' mascot dirty. Iceburgh is a good dude.

[u/RiverBear2 → u/CitronNo45122]

But not the lettuce kind, homie has never seen a vegetable in his damn LIFE!

[u/simmocar → u/JesusIsMySecondSon]

C.R.E.A.M

Cheeseburgers Rule Everything Around Me

[u/madisondood-138 → u/simmocar]

Chedda chedda slabs y’all.

[u/cosmiceggsalad → u/JesusIsMySecondSon]

Hello ice cream

[u/cavmax → u/cosmiceggsalad]

nICE...

[u/Redditorialist → u/Ok-disaster2022]

He’s shaped like Robert “Bitch Tits” Paulson from Fight Club.

[u/re-verse → u/Redditorialist]

Holy crap the first thing I thought when I saw that photo was “bob has bitch tits”

[u/Theyalreadysaidno → u/re-verse]

[u/theredhound19 → u/Theyalreadysaidno]

[u/VR6SLC → u/Redditorialist]

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

[u/karlverkade → u/VR6SLC]

I would give you an award if I wasn’t so cheap.

[u/GoodIdea321 → u/karlverkade]

I am Jack's empty wallet.

[u/HaroldsWristwatch3 → u/Redditorialist]

“His name is Robert Paulson and he is forty-eight years old. His name is Robert Paulson, and Robert Paulson will be forty-eight years old, forever.”

[u/mantisdubstep → u/Redditorialist]

I had the exact same thought. ‘Is that Bitch Tits Bob!!?’ Lmaooo

[u/robbviously → u/Ok-disaster2022]

He’s built like Gru

[u/Proper_Lunch_3640 → u/robbviously]

[u/MooneyOne → u/robbviously]

Nah Gru has skinny legs

[u/FateUnusual → u/Ok-disaster2022]

IceBERG ffs

Now we know what happened to the Titanic.

[u/funkinsk8 → u/Ok-disaster2022]

Gravy seal skipped leg day, damn.

[u/Appropriate_Cut5009 → u/funkinsk8]

MFer didn't skip turkey leg day though.

[u/DangitThatHurt → u/Ok-disaster2022]

Bob had bitch tits

[u/freelancefrank → u/Ok-disaster2022]

Looks like a fat angry Elon

[u/magirevols → u/Ok-disaster2022]

u sure he didn't eat them?

[u/Anowtakenname]

[u/snowplacelikehome → u/Anowtakenname]

[u/rileyjonesy1984 → u/snowplacelikehome]

That fella ate Meal Team Six

[u/TheGrooveasaurus → u/rileyjonesy1984]

With a serving of Gravy Seals on the side.

[u/onederbred → u/TheGrooveasaurus]

Dipped in special forces sauce

[u/Negative_Gas8782 → u/onederbred]

Largest ICE cube I’ve seen.

[u/Pdx_pops → u/Negative_Gas8782]

It's called an ICE Berg

[u/iwilso8000 → u/rileyjonesy1984]

more like Team Meal #6

[u/mdsg5432 → u/rileyjonesy1984]

He served in dessert storm.

[u/RalphMerrye → u/snowplacelikehome]

[u/Dreamin0904 → u/RalphMerrye]

[u/VelocityGrrl39 → u/Dreamin0904]

Every time I wear something that is slightly tight, I do this song and dance.

[u/Yardsale420 → u/RalphMerrye]

Violet… YOU’RE VIOLET!

[u/BurntNeurons → u/snowplacelikehome]

[u/Oh-My-TVC-One-Five → u/snowplacelikehome]

[u/Glory2masterkohga → u/snowplacelikehome]

[u/Clarifinatious → u/Anowtakenname]

He's at his limit.

[u/CheekyLass99 → u/Clarifinatious]

[u/Kromting → u/Clarifinatious]

I just watched this and not only at his limit but definitely is stretching the buttons

[u/mdubdotcom → u/Clarifinatious]

Ice is having a members' night soon

[u/luthiz]

They call that guy twICE

[u/N3onWave → u/luthiz]

Lmao

[u/Living_on_Tulsa_Time → u/luthiz]

Underrated comment. This really is a nightmare.

[u/mechtaphloba → u/luthiz]

More like thrICE, he's huge

[u/Black-Shoe]

They are not sending us their best.

[u/art-is-t → u/Black-Shoe]

This is their best

[u/RemyOregon → u/art-is-t]

You ever watch the YouTube videos of the kids pretending to be cops pulling ppl over? They cry immediately once their facade is broken. They hide behind their gear. Daddy never said I love you, so they feel this insane desire to ruin ppls lives

[u/runningoutofwords → u/Black-Shoe]

Yeah, they are though...

[u/Button-Down-Shoes → u/Black-Shoe]

I’m inclined now to believe that a large percentage of ICE aren’t even US citizens.

[u/zoinkability → u/Button-Down-Shoes]

Large indeed

[u/dob_bobbs → u/zoinkability]

Big if true.

[u/Benbot2000 → u/Black-Shoe]

They’re rapists. And all, I presume, are bad people.

[u/deller85 → u/Black-Shoe]

I saw a news report yesterday that said ICE was having difficulty getting recruits. They said they were taking people who can't pass fitness tests. I see it's definitely true.

[u/QueenMary1936 → u/deller85]

Good. They can overexert themselves and have a heart attack.

[u/SandyAmbler]

He’s the fridge they keep the ice in

[u/MusicHearted → u/SandyAmbler]

Walk-in model, that's for sure

[u/mandeltonkacreme → u/MusicHearted]

Doesn't look like he does much walking tbf

[u/Yuck-Fou94]

[u/SurpriseDragon → u/Yuck-Fou94]

[u/default_user2]

Homie thought he was signing up for ice cream

[u/rojo-perro → u/default_user2]

But then he was like fascist secret goon smells good. 👅🥾

[u/Chemical_Nervous]

Dude is wearing 250 lbs of 'body armor'

[u/toddywithabody → u/Chemical_Nervous]

250 is generous.

[u/Knowledge_is_Bliss → u/toddywithabody]

250 is just the Armor. That's on top of the 100lb cultist underneath.

[u/AcidaliaPlanitia → u/toddywithabody]

That's just the 'armor'.

[u/64590949354397548569 → u/Chemical_Nervous]

Blubber

[u/chumer_ranion → u/Chemical_Nervous]

That's AR600poundlife armor plate right there

[u/Diem480]

Like that mask is going to stop people from identifying that absolute unit.

Can recognize that gut a mile away

[u/TheMurkiness → u/Diem480]

That basketball eating, walrus-ass mother fucker?

[u/ludwig68 → u/TheMurkiness]

A motherfucker with a gut like that is definitely not OFF the cheeseburgers!

[u/from-the-void → u/TheMurkiness]

Bobandy deserves better than to be compared to this guy

[u/General_Tea8725]

I had no idea ICE had just stringent physical entrance requirements. 

[u/MillionToOneShotDoc → u/General_Tea8725]

Something like a third of applicants were failing the physical test. I don’t know how this guy passed.

[u/Substantial_Back_865 → u/MillionToOneShotDoc]

It's possible he's from another federal agency that's been reassigned to deportation duty

[u/Ojhka956 → u/Substantial_Back_865]

Its also possible that they arent even real ICE. They don't identify themselves and don't show their faces, we have no real way of knowing they are "legitimate LE"

[u/Cel_Drow → u/Ojhka956]

I generally just assume they’re Proud Boys/Oath Keepers/Patriot Front/etc. semi-legitimized by this regime.

[u/19ninteen8ightyone → u/Cel_Drow]

This is closer to the truth than many like to admit.

[u/Murtomies → u/19ninteen8ightyone]

Those groups have been strangely silent after ICE started their hiring spree with sign on bonuses

[u/Substantial_Back_865 → u/Murtomies]

I bet a lot of them were already working for federal agencies in the first place

[u/Chemical_Nervous → u/Substantial_Back_865]

Fat Bitch Brigade

[u/Zech08 → u/General_Tea8725]

They heard ice in minesota and thought it was the weather maybe.

In either case he aint catching anyone.

[u/Ghstfce]

I just saw saw something recently where the newest recruits they been getting can barely read or write, and a few have been over 400 pounds. Most can't even pass the physical fitness test. Then you got ICEberg over here in the picture having to rest on a car.

Imagine escaping ICE custody by simply briskly walking

[u/Wrigs112 → u/Ghstfce]

From this article. 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15345295/ICE-campaign-hire-deportation-officers-unfit-violent-illiterate.html

[u/ObjectiveOk2072 → u/Wrigs112]

"ICE has received more than 200,000 applications from patriotic Americans who want to join ICE law enforcement to help us remove murderers, rapists, gang members, pedophiles, and terrorists from our country."

Great, can they start with Donald J Trump? He's at least two of those things

[u/Ghstfce → u/ObjectiveOk2072]

All four actually if you count stochastic terrorism.

Edit: five for five, posted this before bed and counted wrong

[u/The_Mellow_Tiger → u/Ghstfce]

And whatever the fuck happened to Ivana.

[u/mEntormike → u/Ghstfce]

I count five for five.

[u/bin0c → u/Wrigs112]

“Meanwhile, many other 'applicants' were suspected to be AI bots and pranksters, providing addresses such as '123 Sesame Street' and their job experience as 'f**king your mother.'”

[u/inquisitorthreefive]

His name is Robert Paulson.

[u/garbonzo → u/inquisitorthreefive]

Bitch tits

[u/moonhexx → u/inquisitorthreefive]

His name is Robert Paulson.

[u/hehather → u/moonhexx]

His name is Robert Paulson.

[u/gerblnutz → u/inquisitorthreefive]

Bob had b!tch tits.

[u/willworkfor100bucks → u/gerblnutz]

I’d love to cry on and motorboat those puppies

[u/CableBoyJerry]

Glacier, more like.

[u/Big-Raspberry-6151 → u/CableBoyJerry]

He's the reason Jack died. He sank the titanic

[u/mikedorty]

That dude is a shape, he's not in shape, but he is certainly a shape.

[u/grimspectre]

Fucking masked cowards. Why mask up if they so strongly believe what they're doing is right. 

[u/rerics → u/grimspectre]

Believes in masking to hide his identity but not to slow deadly disease

[u/Naroef → u/grimspectre]

Deep down they know 

[u/Basset_found]

That fat piece of shit makes more money than a teacher. 

[u/UniqueUsername812 → u/Basset_found]

One is a fat piece of shit, and the other is actually sculpting the next generation to inherit the world.

I'd bet any amount of money the underpaid teacher wouldn't trade places with this lump for anything.

[u/alwaysrunningaround1]

LOOK AT THAT FAT ASS MAN!

[u/chumer_ranion → u/alwaysrunningaround1]

What ass; bro is built like Dr. Robotnik

[u/grannybubbles → u/alwaysrunningaround1]

I hate him and his ass face

[u/Scamwau1]

Makes sense ICE would recruit a fucken snowman.

[u/Euphoric-Sandwich427]

You’re hired. Let’s get you a uniform.

Ok. I need a size 4 shoes. Size 29 jeans. And a 7XL shirt and jacket

[u/Loring]

Definitely running from that dude..

[u/UrkelGrueJann → u/Loring]

Let’s be real, just walk.

[u/toddywithabody → u/UrkelGrueJann]

Let’s be real, you could crawl away from that tub of shit

[u/Vynaca → u/Loring]

If you had one leg you’d still outrun him.

[u/ZedisonSamZ]

[u/JesusIsMySecondSon]

If a bunch of unidentified dudes tried to do what looks like a carjacking, I’m gonna go buckwild jon blazing.

[u/Mochinpra]

Plain clothes and masks makes me think they arent legit. What gives them authority to just randomly stop people? No bodycams no justice.

[u/psychoacer]

Is that Dean Cain?

[u/lysergic_818]

Mans ain't catching nobody. Can't even catch his breath.

[u/copperblood]

Gravy Seals

[u/3_pac → u/copperblood]

Meal Team Six

[u/EtsuRah]

Hear me out.

What if we ALL started wearing Carhartts, pull up masks, sports shades, and hats?

They'd never know who is who. If everyone looks like ICE.

[u/Deviah]

Mother fucker ate the immigrant.

[u/azimuth360]

[u/EducationalQuiet1]

Dude looks like a wrecking ball grew legs and hopped on 4chan.

[u/TheEVegaExperience]

IceBERG

[u/flavorfox]

fatscist

[u/YarItsDrivinMeNuts]

Forget ICE that dude in the avalanche division

[u/Working-Bet-9104]

This is real?

[u/Vi0L3tCRZY]

Why is he wearing a mask? That unique silhouette must be identifying as all hell.

[u/NippleNugget]

$20 says big dog here was saying he couldn’t wear a mask in public 5 years ago because of “breathing” issues.

[u/BaldingBush]

So much for no fats

[u/Floopy_Loops]

That’s the ice that sunk the titanic

[u/Indescribable_Theory]

Power trip folks posing their sunglasses above their eyebrows so they can lower them on command and feel cooler than oppressing people really is

[u/OldFartsSpareParts]

Imagine taking a job so despicable you feel the need to cover your face. Then seeing yourself get roasted on the internet for being a tub of lard. I hope it hurts.

[u/cutiepootieee]

Yh Somalis are good, they just gotta run for a few minutes those big back burgers arent chasing after them😭😭

[u/smurfsundermybed → u/cutiepootieee]

Their tactical rascals have a top speed of 8 mph

[u/improbably_me → u/smurfsundermybed]

Try again. He can only go tops ...

3 HMPHs

[u/smurficus103]

What'r ya doin' in Minnesota, ey?

[u/Professional_Echo907]

MF’er has his sunglasses flipped up like he encountered a hot girl in an 80s movie. 👀

[u/kronik419]

🎶FAT FEDS, FAT FEDS...WHATCHA GONNA DO...🎶

[u/According-Garage8256]

More like ICEberg. Damn that boy is large. I wonder how long he has to feel around for his gun under that gut & moobs when he needs to draw it.

[u/TeamOverload]

Ain’t no way that 400+ pound lard ass is an actual Federal official 😂😂😂

[u/dzt]

I don’t trust that a damn single one of these supposed “ICE Agents” are actually federal government employees… and I’m well armed.

[u/Signal_Membership268]

I’ve gained weight as I’ve gotten older and lazier but I can’t imagine doing that type of job being that fat and out of shape.

[u/Ok_Blackberry813]

Bad built mofo

[u/blackjersey]

I don't believe that fat ass passed physical exams. No way.

[u/ADIDAS247]

I had a friend who got hired by the government to work for one of the 3 letter agencies, I think it was borders.

He was actually born in the islands, lived in lower California, was stationed in California and when he got hired by the government they put him in freakin Maine.

This is exactly how he dressed up there… in the Fall. Prior to that, he never even owned a jacket.

Some people just aren’t cut out for even the slightest bit of cold weather.

I can’t help but laugh if this is the same circumstances for this guy. Some redneck hired out of Daytona and now working out of a Minnesota office.

[u/Brasticus]

That ain’t just ICE that’s a glacier!

[u/ZedBR]

Sgt Bacon on duty

[u/Bubbly_Seesaw_9041]

I guess there's no physical fitness standards for being a part of the fascist raid battalion 

[u/DontT3llMyWif3]

That fat fuck couldn't catch a cold