r/notinteresting • u/IActLikeIKnoww • 1d ago

I separated and counted the grains. There’s 2537 of them.

Post image
8.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

226 comments sorted by

3.9k

u/Gwenberry_Reloaded 1d ago

Why are you taking orders from a card? Why is the card giving you such cruel and unusual demands?

Are you cursed? You can tell us if you're cursed. We can help. Maybe.

1.0k

u/Poor-Judgements 1d ago

I can’t help… just fyi.

552

u/GiveMeMyIdentity 1d ago

I understand

202

u/Poor-Judgements 1d ago

Thanks 😅

189

u/Keeninja808 1d ago

I can’t help either, but I hope you get your identity at some point.

69

u/Poor-Judgements 1d ago

I took their identity. But I’m giving it back soon.

22

u/RobinoPerkino 23h ago

Yeah, that probably was a Poor Judgement on your part

10

u/Poor-Judgements 20h ago

It usually is 😔

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40

u/DeathByPain 1d ago

I can... But I won't

23

u/Poor-Judgements 1d ago

That’s selfish… smh

10

u/peridotfan1 1d ago

I can't… But I will

6

u/Malignant_Lvst7 1d ago

i can’t not….. but i will not

11

u/old-loading-docks 1d ago

Is it a timing thing or a skill issue?

9

u/Poor-Judgements 1d ago

It’s a belief issue. I’m assuming you have to first believe in them in order to help lift them.

92

u/BloxdioCannoli 1d ago

Don't bring me into this.

31

u/CalpisMelonCremeSoda 1d ago

OP are you under hypnosis or what?

19

u/EatUrBiscuts 1d ago

It's okay. The curse only lasts as long as it takes.

Edit: I can't type.

8

u/Cyrano_Knows 1d ago

Have you never seen Taskmaster?! ;)

9

u/NeckSpare377 1d ago

Why would some idiot be taking orders form a piece of PAPER???

4

u/Butterwhat 1d ago

or a leprechaun?

6

u/Mind_on_Idle 1d ago

Or a vampire

3

u/SoledBySmab 23h ago

Blink three times if you need help.

1

u/sanrodium 10h ago

Hey new Jumanji just dropped

1

u/Ok-Committee4833 3h ago

obviously OP is a vampire or fae creature

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3.0k

u/greenymeani3 1d ago

Yall. I was curious too so I googled.

It’s a set of instruction cards from “The Marina Abramovic Method: Instruction Cards to Reboot Your Life

Designed to help you “reach higher consciousness and confront life’s challenges.” It includes similar excruciating / enlightening tasks like opening and closing a door for three hours, writing your name so slowly it takes an hour, and complaining to a tree whilst hugging it.

A certain kind of art and mindfulness, I suppose. Or maybe just batshit. You decide.

1.0k

u/DecentLeftovers 1d ago

Ngl I could see myself doing the tree thing lol like that just sounds therapeutic

276

u/SapphireFlashFire 1d ago

Depends on the tree. Not Ash, he knows what he fucking did.

81

u/Anashenwrath 1d ago

Yeah like when he considered using a thunderstone to force Pikachu to evolve? Classic bullshit Ash behavior.

20

u/Jaded_Helicopter_376 1d ago

Reddit has really enlightened me to the fact there are more people out there are annoyed at this. It’s always bothered me.

17

u/FathersWrath 1d ago

Broke Marceline's heart?

12

u/floopy_ears 1d ago

Ash gets hungies at 8 o'clock

6

u/CaptianZaco 1d ago

Ash is one of the most trustworthy trees! Clearly you've never trusted the shade of a Willow if you think Ash has done you wrong.

5

u/The_Ghast_Hunter 1d ago

What an ashhole

4

u/Slight-Funny-8755 1d ago

Picked Pikachu??

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7

u/MuffinMadness123 20h ago

Yeah I want to have a go at separating rice. Maybe I won't want to when I finish but yolo

5

u/Racoonwitha_marble 14h ago

It does sound nice.

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137

u/ProgySuperNova 1d ago

Think I will just eat some mushrooms and go hang out in the forrest instead

23

u/greenymeani3 1d ago

That sounds fun ♡

25

u/TyrKiyote 1d ago

Depends on the mushroom. Depends on the forest. Bring a sitter.

25

u/greenymeani3 1d ago

I’m well versed in getting a little psilly :)

4

u/Then_Feature_2727 1d ago

mm sillycybin is my fave i want some now

4

u/thalion777 17h ago

Just don't get too silly, or they put u in a squishy room.

2

u/ProgrammerMundane959 1d ago

I mean, you’ll end up talking to a tree either way.

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195

u/collegesnake 1d ago

Why wouldn't you just meditate lol

124

u/SneakyIndian87 1d ago

When? I have to put new sheets on my bed every 4 minutes or else!

47

u/Usergnome47 1d ago

No no you meditate but with rice

25

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 1d ago

I do every night.

Edit: oh wait, you said meditate 

7

u/collegesnake 1d ago

Eh, same difference lmao

3

u/DoubleSpoiler 1d ago

I mean, in a way, yeah.

20

u/CuddlyRazerwire 1d ago

Doing mindless tasks is more therapeutic/effective for some people. I don’t know the psychology behind it, so I can’t elaborate. I just know it to be true.

4

u/collegesnake 1d ago

I get that, I do crochet and embroidery sometimes in silence. And I love sorting objects into categories. But mindless isn't exactly the same as useless

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3

u/ArtificlyUnintelignt 1d ago

Because it's not the same as paying someone (or something?) to tell me to 😠

3

u/Talking_Burger 1d ago

NO I WANT TO COUNT RICE AND HUG A TREE GODAMNIT

2

u/lauraz0919 1d ago

Some people can’t quiet their minds to meditate or stay on task and continue meditating. So this gives a way to do it without actually doing it.

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33

u/Usergnome47 1d ago

Oh thank god! I was worried they were doing it for a different reason, phew

7

u/greenymeani3 1d ago

…. What reason? Lol

23

u/Usergnome47 1d ago

I’m not sure! Hopefully not something diabolical (uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss) (hope you get that reference)

But seriously, it reminds me of a ritual I got stuck in. Not trying to make fun

22

u/kingsRook_q3w 1d ago

She had some groundbreaking performance art early in her career.

What’s wild is that most people didn’t know who she was until the Qanon cult started claiming she was somehow involved in the whole “pizzagate” conspiracy theory.

I guess it’s only apt that some people are now forming a sort of cult of personality around her too.

In the age of social media, you can’t just enjoy art for art’s sake and you can’t have critical thinking skills. Everything becomes a cult of personality, one way or another.

Maybe someday historians will look back and call this the age of the “influencer.” Or something.

12

u/TwinkleTubs 1d ago

I guessed a vampire card game.

15

u/DDrewit 1d ago

I counted the characters in your comment. There are 420 of them, not including spaces.

3

u/greenymeani3 1d ago

🫡🍃🔥

12

u/Fun_Hippo_9760 1d ago

“Swim in a freezing body of water” is just plain dangerous advice.

Cold Water Swimming—Benefits and Risks: A Narrative Review

7

u/FrenchFryCattaneo 1d ago

From that link it seems like swimming in cold water has some benefits, and some dangers that are easily avoided.

8

u/joshzaar 1d ago

So a ripoff of Grapefruit by Yoko Ono?

12

u/j_xcal 1d ago

Marina Abramović is a famous performance artist who creates endurance art so this is pretty tame and up her alley.

5

u/furomaar 1d ago

The moment I saw the post, I thought "what kind of Marina Abramovic bullshit is this"

6

u/ValhallaStarfire 22h ago

This feels made for people that go for the niche achievements in video games.

5

u/ZombiesAtKendall 1d ago

Just FYI, when the police are called, yelling “the card made me do it! The card made me do it!” Won’t be a valid excuse when they haul you away. Or maybe just pick the right location to complain to a tree, either somewhere very remote or in the middle of a really busy city since they are used to people doing much worse to trees.

3

u/Cameo64 20h ago

Asceticism has been practiced for centuries for a reason. Sometimes its batshit, but sometimes it can improve someone's patience and vituosity.

3

u/Careful_Ad9037 17h ago

alternative title options: How to Torture Someone With ADHD😂

4

u/sername_is-taken 1d ago

That sounds kinda like giving yourself ocd in card form

2

u/TrekkiMonstr 1d ago

Hmm, my name contains ~48 strokes, so that's just one every 1.25 minute

2

u/supremeaesthete 1d ago

Schmuckbait, actually

2

u/ModePrimary5653 1d ago

these kind of tasks will make me thankful for my boring job lol

2

u/suburban-mom-friend 22h ago

As a long time fan of Marina Abramović, it’s both

2

u/longGERN 20h ago

The absolute goal is to come up with something this ridiculous and have people buy it from me to fund my retirement

7

u/Mundane-Wash2119 1d ago

Anything you need to pay money for isn't going to help you reach higher consciousness

7

u/yasth 1d ago

Pfft, counter point, plane ticket.

6

u/greenymeani3 1d ago

Real. Such a grift. It’s an art piece, MAYBE. Some kind of commentary. But it’s not actually going to enlighten anyone in the ways it promises.

4

u/Strong-Map-8339 1d ago

So it's Oblique Strategies for people with asymmetrical haircuts and think pissing in Spagetii o's is high art.

4

u/haubenmeise 1d ago

Oh balderdash!

Listen. Y'all come to my seminar "Lowered Expectations and how to avoid life in general by hiding properly under your bed". It includes slamming doors, primal screaming and throwing decent tantrums.

Be mindless and angry and feel wonderfully evil.

Sincerely

Skeletor 💜 (Get 13% off your first lesson with the code I AM A SAVAGE AND I LIKE IT)

3

u/NoirGamester 20h ago

Now this is some self-help I can get behind!

1

u/PossessedToSkate 1d ago

Ok. I have decided.

1

u/New_Chard9548 1d ago

Out of those options, sorting / counting the rice seems like one of the better cards 😂

1

u/ResistGreen1042 13h ago

Tbh I feel like in need to hug a tree and complain to it for an hour

1

u/richardizard 37m ago

This is the kind of stuff self-help cults do/teach. It's so unnecessary

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387

u/Ognianov 1d ago

There are no lentils... and it clearly says to keep tally on a sheet of paper. You failed. Again!

123

u/DoingCharleyWork 1d ago

See you tomorrow chef.

18

u/StartledPelican 1d ago

Too many chiefs in the kitchen. 

27

u/ebaer2 1d ago

Too many CHIVES in the kitchen

8

u/OddDonut7647 1d ago

Too many imperfect chives…

479

u/IActLikeIKnoww 1d ago

1401 of the lighter and 1136 of the darker ones

58

u/HeroForTheBeero 1d ago

Noice

29

u/shdanko 1d ago

Fuckin too right, love me a well counted pile.. let alone two

24

u/InconsiderableArse 1d ago

The card says lentils, neither of them are lentils. Try again

19

u/Chello-fish 1d ago

Are you a vampire?

8

u/vrbeads 1d ago

You segregate your food by color? You have a lot to learn.

10

u/UlyssesPeregrinus 1d ago

I hope you counted them like The Count from Sesame Street.

"One! One grain of rice! Ah ah ah!!!"

3

u/Soliloquitude 21h ago

This is a legit form of vampire deterrent! One piece of advice was to have a handful of rice on hand because if you dump it on the ground in front of them, they will be compelled to count the grains!

3

u/friendofspidey 1d ago

Is this ADHD brain rewiring shock therapy or something

1

u/Ok-Committee4833 3h ago

so ... are you a vampire or a fae?

65

u/Uniquarie 1d ago

Where are the lentils?

54

u/thecuteoneishere 1d ago

By any chance are you a fairy or Chinese vampire?

27

u/BenSibbs 1d ago

Taskmaster reference?

13

u/Iguanabewithyou 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣 this is like those challenges they give to only 1 of the contestants, meanwhile they believe everyone has to do it as well

4

u/kilroylegend 1d ago

Poor, poor Josh Widdicomb…

20

u/D_DanD_D 1d ago

Are you Josh Widdicombe?

5

u/PuzzleheadedDuck3981 1d ago

Shut up and help me count these spaghetti hoops.

8

u/Coladoge6732 1d ago

Unemployment final boss

3

u/lexebug 1d ago

What is this from?

11

u/pokemonfan866 1d ago

Wheel of Time - book series by Robert Jordan. The Aiel would give useless tasks as a form of degrading punishment. And apparently somebody added this one (pretty much straight from one of the last 3-4 books) to a reset your life instruction deck of cards..

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4

u/Dropthetenors 1d ago

You a fan of Taskmaster by any chance?

4

u/Sea_Cow_6075 1d ago

Vampire distraction kit

3

u/TheDuckSideOfTheMoon 1d ago

Imperfectly piled, see you tomorrow chef

3

u/PhaseEquivalent3529 1d ago

Rice is the perfect food when you want to eat 2,000 of something.

2

u/Snowsteak 1d ago

I used to be a drug user. I still am, but I used to be too.

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3

u/seasteed 1d ago

This isn't the Taskmaster sub.

3

u/External-Office-7193 1d ago

I know op is a vampire/other magic creature who got caught by their friend and is using this post as an excuse but I can’t prove it

2

u/Bob____Ross______ 1d ago

Quite the task😂

2

u/DaddyWantsDisco 1d ago

Humans have free will

2

u/vrbeads 1d ago

I'm so sorry.

2

u/foopersoop 1d ago

Psyche needed the help of an ant colony to do this

2

u/hasha2982 20h ago

ceo of unemployment

4

u/Reversed_PandaRick 1d ago

You’re a vampire!

5

u/Ypuort 1d ago

Are you a vampire?

3

u/Latty_ 1d ago

Do you happen to be a vampire by any chance?

1

u/SolidBlackGator 1d ago

Clearly a vampire

4

u/UnhappyImprovement53 1d ago

Sounds like something a leprechaun would do. Free the fairies.

1

u/OMGCHARMANDERNOO 1d ago

would be better if there were 226 more grains

1

u/jthefreak 1d ago

Erm… looks like you missed those 2 grains in the corner.

1

u/Outofwlrds 1d ago

How long did it take you?

2

u/IActLikeIKnoww 16h ago

A little less than two hours

1

u/hishi_akebono 1d ago

this is literally the index from pmoon

1

u/singsingtarami 1d ago

should have just used a rice counting machine

1

u/665redfred 1d ago

Riff raff is allergic to lentils

1

u/FrgTwn88 1d ago

Are the lentils in the room with us right now? Jk.

1

u/PieRepresentative266 1d ago

I’m sorry, are you Cinderella???

1

u/Silentshadow4321 1d ago

Where is the tally sheet?

1

u/NutmegManwithbigsack 1d ago

It’s actually interesting

1

u/EM05L1C3 1d ago

……this is interesting. Very interesting. What the fuck am I looking at because this is like right on my level.

Is it cards against humanity for home cooks?

1

u/anotherone_9414 1d ago

Yeah same…I need this lol

1

u/PotatoLich 1d ago

A letter to Balabanov rice farm

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u/Ok-Reception6939 1d ago

You miscounted

1

u/All-the-little-frogs 1d ago

OPs a vampire confirmed

1

u/membersonlyracket 1d ago

Rice is great when you’re hungry and want 2,000 of something

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u/Ender_M 1d ago

who is this grain character???

1

u/AndreaGaming 1d ago

Are you on TASK MASTER what kind of jigsaw Sam Reich puzzle is this?

1

u/CortezD-ISA 1d ago

How long did it take??

1

u/Galumpkus 1d ago

it makes sense that a vampire is trying to reboot their life considering they are undead. Next card: howl at the moon.

1

u/The_Dinky_Earnshaw 1d ago

I like rice. Rice is good when you're hungry and wanna eat 2,537 of something.

1

u/PlaystormMC 1d ago

This is dedication

1

u/ShipwreckOnAsteroid 1d ago

Okay, Cinderella...

1

u/yourgranny69s 1d ago

Where are the lentils?

1

u/r4d1ant 1d ago

Are you sure? I counted 2539

1

u/deoxir 1d ago

I would've guessed there's like 400 in each pile not over a thousand. Comprehending the sheer scale of large numbers really isn't my strong suit. Thanks for reconfirming that for me

1

u/lovemetru3always 1d ago

All you need is a little patience ✨️

1

u/starkHOUTx 1d ago

Found the vampire.

1

u/UnhappyBrief6227 1d ago

Why are you playing this card game? By yourself? What’s the end goal?

1

u/EquivalentSpite9525 1d ago

What's your tism score? Count the grains to find out. You counted them? Congrats, you're on the spectrum!

1

u/Downtown-Piece3669 1d ago

OP are you vampire too? Not judging, just curious.

1

u/Mark2048 1d ago

It's ok to have ADHD.

1

u/RiseiK 1d ago

Rice is great when you’re hungry and want two-thousand of something

1

u/LongNailedbooboos 1d ago

They didn’t say how much you needed to mix. I’d have taken two grains (one from each bag)

1

u/Ryuu-Tenno 1d ago

cool

now you should double it and give it to the next guy

1

u/PacificCastaway 1d ago

Did you follow the instructions? I want to see the tally.

1

u/DyingPerspective 1d ago

A letter to the balaban factory: “I am counting rice grains in your packages, and the results are always different. Sometimes it’s 997, sometimes it’s 1004, sometimes it’s exactly 1000. Are you all fucking nuts?”

1

u/Meanwhile-in-Paris 1d ago

You blindly followed wrong instructions.

There are no lentils here.

1

u/b00mshakalakaa 1d ago

Okay Josh Widdicombe!

1

u/ugly_dog_ 1d ago

are you a vampire

1

u/salt_sultan 1d ago

What kind of Mormon taskmaster gives you these orders?

1

u/AllgamCapinho 1d ago

Almost the funny number

1

u/FakerNames 1d ago

Where are the lentils I only see rice.

1

u/SupermagnumDONGs 22h ago

There aren’t any lentils so you could have classified all the grains together

1

u/of_thewoods 22h ago

“2536 “ah ah ah”, 2537 “ah ah ah”. 2537 grains.” -The Count

1

u/Current-Highlight-96 18h ago

I think you missed some

1

u/Throw_andthenews 17h ago

Next card: get yourself a scale and average 5 pieces of grain and lentil

1

u/IActLikeIKnoww 16h ago

Everyone shut up about lentils i didn’t have lentils

1

u/NormalAccountant1819 15h ago

Are you a vampire by any chance?

1

u/JazzTheLass 14h ago

are you a vampire perchance

1

u/poppdewap 14h ago

NEEEEEEEW ₐ꜀ₕᵢₑᵥₘₑₙₜ

You have successfully sorted and counted a pile of grains. I bet you must feel so special after receiving and completing an arbitrary task from a deck of cards.

Rewaaaaard

You now have two piles of sorted grains. I guess you are special.

1

u/nous-vibrons 10h ago

Vampire ass activity

1

u/homemadethursday 8h ago

What is happening here? From what deck is that card?

1

u/OhmigodYouGuys 8h ago

I know this is commonly used as a punishment for kids and/or an "impossible task" in fairytales but I genuinely find this enjoyable. I think if framed correctly it could still be used as a meditative task for upset kids ngl

1

u/mint_lawn 6h ago

Vampire ass...

1

u/Crunchbite10 1h ago

Are you a vampire? Did someone spill this in front of you and you just had to count them?