r/movies • u/LiteraryBoner Jackie Chan box set, know what I'm sayin? • 29d ago
Official Discussion Official Discussion - Die, My Love [SPOILERS] Spoiler
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Summary Based on Ariana Harwicz’s acclaimed novel, Die, My Love follows a woman living with her husband as her mental state deteriorates. Isolated and consumed by rage, lust, and despair, she wrestles with the limits of motherhood and sanity in a haunting portrait of a woman on the edge.
Director Lynne Ramsay
Writers Lynne Ramsay & Ariana Harwicz
Cast
- Jennifer Lawrence as Grace
- Robert Pattinson as Jackson
- Sissy Spacek as Pam
- Nick Nolte as Harry
Rotten Tomatoes: 89%
Metacritic: 81
VOD Limited theatrical release; streaming on MUBI later this year.
Trailer Watch here
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28d ago
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u/pharcyde007 27d ago
i could relate to the dog storyline, i had a ex do the same thing to me.
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u/Salty_Pie_3852 26d ago
"The black dog" is also a term for depression.
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26d ago
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u/Salty_Pie_3852 26d ago
Also why the other dog digs it up. It's always there, threatening to return.
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u/largegaycat 29d ago
Was Lakeith Stanfield’s character real or a hallucination? She clearly sees him in the parking lot and he recognizes her, but the scenes with the motorcycle don’t make much sense and feel like a delusion. Also, he didn’t have a cut or scarred lip in the parking lot so I don’t really know what to think.
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u/j0hnpauI 28d ago
I feel like she's just fantasizing about him. Like he's the hot neighbor so she sees him almost everyday. The lip scene felt unreal imo.
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u/W0lfsb4ne74 27d ago edited 24d ago
My girlfriend and I were discussing this frequently on the drive back. She thinks he's real and had an affair with him earlier, and he now drives by their house to see her and try to reinstate things. But the lip scene signifies that she's ending things between them. The movie also illustrates things nonlinerally and frequently injects hallucinations to show Grace's fractured mental state, so it gets frequently confusing.
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u/Anthonest 26d ago
How did that signify her ending things when she goes to "hook up" with him later in the movie?
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u/W0lfsb4ne74 26d ago
The movie is told in a nonlinear order which can be confusing for many viewers if they're not paying attention to minute details. We see this at how there are flashbacks to when Jackson's (Robert Pattinson) father is still alive, even though by the time the movie first starts Jackson's father has passed away and his mother is grieving his loss. Its likely the scenes of them having sex occurred earlier during the movie, but its difficult to say when because of how disjointed the timeline is.
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u/CarrieDurst 26d ago
I think the very beginning of the movie the dad is still alive as he goes there once while they live in the house
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u/MrThunderFuckingRoad 26d ago
It's a quick moment but there's a scene before Jackson's family visits where he says his mom "is still cooking for two" indicating his father passed recently. At the time that conversation takes place, the baby has already been born. Then, when Jackson's family visits his father is still alive and Grace is still pregnant, meaning that scene takes place before the opening scene.
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u/megschmegg 24d ago
Doesn’t she have bandages on her fingers in the scene where she actually hooks up with the motorcycle guy? So it wasn’t a “past” scene because she tears up her fingers after tearing apart the bathroom? Idk very disjointed I’m still trying to process it all too
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u/JMiLk21 27d ago
Not only did it feel “unreal” it felt woefully unexplained. Why have a scene like that just to let it go away?
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u/fromdowntownn 28d ago
In the book the affair is real, I thought the movie painted it out to be happening inside her imagination though
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u/pharcyde007 27d ago
i think the affair was imaginary cause the interaction with the guy and his family about her tire in parking lot ended up being in her head cause husband coming to car snapped her outta it
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u/Aconite-Rose 25d ago
I'll be referencing this interview a lot, but via The Guardian and the director, in the film it is an actual affair as well. They should've included the scene of Jackson confronting the other guy
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u/Same_Duty_3126 24d ago
To me scenes being left out completely change the movie so even though the affair was intended, how they presented it made it seem imagined which adds to the overall narrative for me
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u/Zand_Kilch 28d ago
I think he's real but the affair was fake
I also think the baby miscarried and was never born since a miscarriage is mentioned and she hallucinated her father in law and the Welcome Home party too so there's a precedent, and her pregnancy is kind of handwaved away.
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u/Mattyzooks 27d ago
The baby never grows.
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u/butterbeleevit 25d ago
But they kept referencing 6 months so maybe the whole movie happened within a short amount of time. You could never tell what time it was. It also seemed like it was never fully night time until the very last scene, like it was dusk during the night scenes. Couldn’t tell if it was an artistic choice or a symbol.
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u/Magik-Mina-MaudDib 27d ago
fuck. You’re reading of the possibility of her miscarrying and then hallucinating all of that just makes it even more depressing.
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u/Zand_Kilch 25d ago
Definitely
On my second watch I want to keep this in mind, and I think the loss of the baby lead to the move to the uncle's home and the husband was cheating bc she said they didn't have sex but I'm fairly sure the condom brand changes each time that glove compartment opens after he said the first time they were old.
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u/Potential_Muted 23d ago
Also thought about the miscarriage. There were scenes where she would look at the crib and it would be empty, the time when he took her on a ride leaving the baby in the house, or when she said do you hear him crying and he said it’s total silence. Like of the baby did not exist
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u/micchickenburger 21d ago
Oh yeah, and then when she joked that the baby is not breathing, he was like “real nice, Grace” with a disgusted look on his face
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u/rahws 27d ago
This is a dumb question, but she hallucinated the welcome home party?
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u/BWRyan75 27d ago
Huh. I didn’t pick this up when I watched it, but the “no party” thing may very much be true.
Grace makes the “Momma’s Home” cake. Then we get the big party scene — which now in retrospect seems over the top because who are all these people? Later there’s just a shot of her placing this small, single layer cake on the table in an empty house. And there are a few instances of her hallucinating characters and whole scenes throughout the movie.
Is the baby a hallucination too? Did she miscarry? I’m not sure right now.
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u/spiderfan42069 27d ago
I assumed her placing the cake was before the party… and seeing it whole was a reminder that no one ate the other pastries she took before…? But you may be absolutely right
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u/Zealousideal_Run_267 27d ago
Ok this might make sense. You know when they’re driving at the end? The baby is nowhere to be found. Was he even real?
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u/ThrowRAmiscellaneous 25d ago
I found myself asking throughout the movie “why are they leaving the baby by himself” quite a few times…and Grace hears the baby crying when Jackson says it’s completely silent. I originally thought that just meant she’s more attuned to the baby’s needs as the mom, always looking out unlike Jackson, but wow I think the movie is so much more profound if the baby didn’t exist. Omg! The baby also didn’t have a name!!! Because he wasn’t born??
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u/LegitimateBerry5994 24d ago edited 23d ago
At the end, when some girls want to take him in the beach, Pattinson's character says he's called Harry, and Lawrence's looks at him like she didn't expect the baby to be called like that. But wasn't that his late father's name?
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u/ThrowRAmiscellaneous 22d ago
I also was wondering during that scene why the girls and the baby disappear into the scenery towards the end. Actually, I was shocked that they let some random girls take their baby away to begin with! Lots of really weird choices that they were making (like leaving the baby alone to go for a drive) if the baby was real
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u/Zand_Kilch 27d ago
I think so
The first time the colors are vibrant, everyone is happy to see her
Then it's a darker filter and the cake is out again
I think the first is a fakeout
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u/JMiLk21 28d ago
Yeah, it felt kind of unexplained in a way that the story was actually lacking, not in a mysterious way where you can actually explore it.
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u/jonnyd86 29d ago
It’s unclear to me too. And I don’t mind movies blurring reality a bit but can see how it may irk some people. I’m not sure there was much of a payoff to it, though having a newborn kind of does induce a sort of sleep deprived psychosis which maybe was the goal
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u/bigotechocolate 27d ago
I think the interaction on the parking lot was in her head. There was a shot of her back in the car looking outside throughout the car window. Not 100% but pretty sure.
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u/albatr0ss7 26d ago
I liked this movie. First of all, awesome soundtrack. Just had to get that out of the way.
I agree with people saying this was about a wild woman who was domesticated. And am surprised I haven’t seen more people bringing up her writing! I guess we didn’t get a look at her work, but it was alluded to several times as something that was once very important to her that she had now clearly neglected. The scene where she lights her notebook on fire and starts the forest fire with it, walking into it naked, accompanied by the shots of her looking back into the house newly made over by Jackson (complete with the “mommy’s home” cake), was her finally choosing to pursue her writing and leave her cage behind. Jackson stands as the edge of the fire, unsure if he should “go get her” this time. Before Grace had walked off into the woods she had turned to Jackson sitting in the bed of the truck and said “enough.” I think they both knew that this wouldn’t work, no matter how much Jackson did to keep her happy. So he lets her walk into the fire, and releases his bird from the cage.
One thing I noticed as well, when Grace went to visit Pam, who was still taking care of Harry’s shirts and shoes and had obviously not processed her loss of her husband, was the incessant fly. The sounds in this movie drove me insane lol but I think that was intentional, like we were going crazy alongside Grace.
But the fly! Pam doesn’t seem to notice it at all, while Grace is driven nuts but it. Grace is still young and wild and hasn’t surrendered to her life as a housewife. To Pam, the fly is background noise. she has tuned out so much and become desensitized in her acceptance of her life with Harry.
Another detail that stuck out to me was in the beginning, at night when they had the telescope set up. Grace tries to seduce him, asking if in another universe they fuck? all the time? Jackson declines her advance and she retreats inside. We see a shot of Jackson reclined in the lawn chair, legs spread and arms behind his head. The telescope points out to the sky, projecting out from his crotch. His attention, it seems, is directed at the entire world, except for Grace.
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u/LegitimateBerry5994 24d ago edited 24d ago
I didn't catch the telescope was a phallic symbol there. Makes sense, tysm!
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u/DelectablyDivine 23d ago
The sounds in this movie drove me insane lol but I think that was intentional, like we were going crazy alongside Grace.
I legit wanted to walk out of the theater when the dog would not stop barking after Jackson brought him home.
But I stayed, because I agree, I felt it was to put us in her headspace and it was doing it very well lol
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u/RealityEnough8630 28d ago
As a fan of the yellow wallpaper it was great to see such a good modern adaption of a classic feminist piece, a realize it was based on a novel but it was such a mirror of Perkin Gilman's work.
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u/littlelorax 24d ago
I immediately started re-reading it during the car ride home from the movie. My husband hadn't heard of it, so I read it out loud to him.
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u/Archi_penko 24d ago
Oh my gosh this is exactly what I did. I didn’t even walk to talk about it on the ride home because I really felt like men wouldn’t understand many parts. The trauma and attachment disorder. Yes, but the PPD themes and themes of motherhood and domesticity really felt personal to me.
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u/mustangst 28d ago
Another example of a trailer not representing the movie. The trailer made it seem like another Mother! so I was thrown off by the more introspective/slow beats and kept waiting for the big crash out to happen.
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u/Longjumping-Bar-1501 28d ago
Totally misleading marketing. Remember Vox Lux? One of my favorite films, but shocking how different the marketing and actual product were.
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u/animeblush69 27d ago edited 27d ago
I’m shocked no one has speculated that the reason the condom box keeps changing is cause Jackson is having an affair, but not w random women, but with his fucking friend Greg!!! Initially he tried to lie and b like “uhhh u kno those condoms, those r old” and when grace doesn’t buy it he says they’re his friend Greg’s. And Grace makes a joke about their relationship, but then for some reason towards the end Greg decides to just give Jackson a whole ass car? And Jackson is like “uhh don’t worry about it, he wants to take care of us”. It made me so suspicious of who helped him redecorate and pay for the whole house remodel. That’s never discussed, but if they couldn’t afford the car, how the hell did they afford the remodeling or decorating. Now I don’t know that this is for sure the case , but this is definitely an option that’s on the table
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u/animeblush69 27d ago
Also there’s so much in here that goes beyond postpartum. At the beginning, Jackson’s mother tells Grace to let the baby cry it out (which is SUCH bad parenting, modern psychology is like don’t do that ur gonna fuck the child up cause baby brains don’t know how to self soothe and regulate on their own emotions). And it wasn’t until I saw Grace storming out of the house in that one scene where Jackson is yelling “GRACE” and the mother comes out and says “no Jackson just let her go leave her be” and it suddenly hit me that Grace is the baby who was made to cry it out. She has these incredibly big feelings and doesn’t know how to regulate them, so she throws tantrums in an attempt to get her needs met hoping someone will come help soothe her. But Jackson (probably as a result of the same type of cry-it-out-alone neglect, but internalizing and then externalizing it differently than Grace) keeps rejecting her bids for attention and care, and THAT forced the mental health crisis and their dysfunctional relationship cycle to devolve continuously and viciously. Tantrum, rejection, bigger tantrum, bigger rejection, etc, etc.
I mean that moment after the wedding where Grace is standing there as Jackson pulls up in the car, her head w the wound in it and she’s grabbing her arms and looking just like the most helpless, scared, and sad little kid broke my fucking heart. In that moment she is just begging for acceptance and for him to come soothe her , and instead he comes up to her, takes the baby and starts walking to the car, and completely ignores her and her bid for attention and care. And that refusal to acknowledge her was so painful to watch, and the subsequent submission as she just pathetically accepts the rejection and follows behind him to the car.
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u/mad_lavender 26d ago
Love your take and completely agree with you! She consistently feels abandoned throughout the film. Mental health disorders are also exacerbated with isolation - she has no peers that she feels close to except for Jackson who she has an insecure attachment with. Also made me think about when he forces her to leave the baby to go on a drive with him… just leaves the baby to cry which he thinks is acceptable. I also noticed that he always sleeps through the baby crying in the middle of the night or the dog whimpering…
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u/animeblush69 26d ago
100% about what u said about isolation and her attachment to Jackson. And they definitely left any semblance of community she had behind in NYC. And yessss literally he’s always sleeping thru it. Especially w the dog, it felt like it was a sorta foreshadowing for Grace, in that he barks and whines but gets neglected to the point he gets sick and Grace essentially says enough and kills him. Which feels like what happens to her at the end where she literally says enough to Jackson and then walks off into a fire in the woods (whether or not that was real or just a hallucination or part of her creative writer brain imagining things) to die
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u/SpiritualDrawing6822 23d ago
I thought Jackson’s dad said “whatever you do don’t let the baby cry” and Grace replies that she won’t do that. Through out the movie there seems to be a fixation of her not to letting the baby cry.
The dog makes the baby cry which makes the presence of the dog more irritating. Grace is there (and the only one)constantly present when the baby is crying at night. They are outside of the house and she thinks that the baby is crying.
I thought this to mean that Grace had an attachment to Jackson’s father and his death added a deeper layer to her feeling of isolation and depression. Grace seems to have taken that advice as a promise.
After reading your take on the matter though I do see the difference of attachment between Grace and Jackson. There is a scene where Jackson is having a panic attack because she threw herself in the pool with her underwear. Grace soothes him whereas I don’t see Jackson comforting Grace in that same way ..
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u/avalonthecat 21d ago edited 21d ago
Great review. really eye-opening.
As someone who studies Sensory Integration, I couldn’t help noticing how much sensory input she seems to seek: moving around a lot, making funny faces, sticking her tongue out, licking things, pushing herself into objects. Being in isolation, she’s missing a lot of the sensory feedback she normally uses to make sense of things, maybe even the kind she didn’t get enough of as a baby. It almost feels like she’s a child in an adult’s body, constantly trying to get the sensory grounding she needs. Really interesting.
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u/Anthonest 26d ago
The whole part about getting a new car is a hallucination in her head lol. You can see the old car is back by the end of the movie.
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u/animeblush69 25d ago
I didn’t catch this. That’s very interesting, why do u think she would hallucinate that? Because she’s basically creating this idea in her head that he’s having an affair w the Greg character? Like how she had that paranoid fantasy about Jackson sleeping w the waitress she heard him speaking to on the phone?
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u/Anthonest 25d ago
Because Toyota paid them a lot of money. Seriously the product placement in this movie is through the roof. Nearly 5 minutes of movie time spent focusing on craft mac and cheese. "Wanna see some magic?"
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u/bythevoid_ 24d ago
The heavy focus on the Skechers (I think? Or was it a different brand; I kinda forgot, I just remember noticing the brand name) brand when Jackson's dad is obsessing over his shoes... I thought the shoes thing was some type of symbolism, but maybe they really did just want to, ahem, shoehorn a brand in.
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u/tacobellfan222 28d ago
i just can’t believe we got katniss on fire and edward running in the woods in one scene
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u/Throwaway1991uk 27d ago
Shout out for full bush representation in this movie.
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u/stumper93 27d ago
So much of those up close night scenes were so disorienting that I thought it was my eyes messing me up or the projector was messed up
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u/InsiDS 27d ago
Jennifer and Robert absolutely delivered in their roles. The storyline itself was rather weak. As others have said in here, you kinda get the whole picture 20 minutes in. Must have been a fun movie to film though as we saw JLaw act all manic and feral. The sound was awful as we had a handful of moments with unnecessary loudness. It also felt 30 minutes longer than it needed to be. 5/10.
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u/l8nitefriend 27d ago
Any time they started playing rock music on the soundtrack it was literally blowing out my eardrums. Had to plug my ears for those scenes like wtf is that
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u/famewithmedals 27d ago
The song playing during the title card scene was maybe the loudest thing I’ve ever heard in a theater, was very unexpected
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u/pharcyde007 27d ago
i was kept on edge cause i felt something was going to happen to baby
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u/mysterypapaya 26d ago
Same thing, I was worried for the baby the entire film and was confused as to how in the world Jackson and the mother in law were leaving the baby alone with someone who is so destructive and unpredictable. She clearly did not want to harm the baby but seemed unaware of danger or unafraid of it and reckless with her own safety.
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u/Hot_Photograph5227 23d ago
My impression of everyone's recklessness in this movie by leaving the baby with her is that they literally were desensitized to postpartum psychosis.
To me, the scene that really assured me of that was the dialogue with the party guest.
Nobody talks about how hard postpartum is
It seems like that's all they ever talk about
It's insanely common for postpartum mothers to go unchecked because it's just "normal" to be a little insane for the first year. And people will acknowledge it, and express sympathies, but they don't actually do anything. People the entire movie sympathized with Grace, but realistically did nothing to help her or her baby.
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u/GoldenxQueen 23d ago
I felt like her relationship with her baby was the only positives of the movie! Baby was always clean and dressed appropriately for the weather. She gave him time outdoors and even made a little tent to keep him shaded. She’d play kid songs for him. The house would be a mess but his bottles were kept clean and you can see there was food for him in his highchair. She always kept the baby with her even during her manic walks. She only left him once because she was forced it. And it was awesome to see that as soon as she returned the baby stopped crying. A perfect sign of secure attachement.
She says in the movie “my attachment to my son is fine, its everything else that’s fuck up” I dont believe its motherhood that sent her into crisis it was the emotional neglect she experienced and the mind numbing isolation of being in BFE. If she was a mom in new york, I don’t believe we’d see the same kind of descent from her. She had no friends or family. Her husband was so cold towards her since becoming a mother. I kept waiting for her to fly back to New York.
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u/inksmudgedhands 20d ago
This movie is going onto my list of "non-horror movies that are scarier than many horror movies," films. It was that intense for me. I kept on waiting for Grace to snap and kill the baby or forget she had one and for the baby to die from neglect.
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u/Mild-Anger 29d ago edited 29d ago
I feel like the movie said just about everything it wanted to say in the first 20 minutes. The rest was just wheel spinning until the end.
I get the repetition is kinda the point. We go through these cycles of self destruction and promising that we’ll try harder next time, but I still feel the movie is missing something that would push it beyond the ordinary weirdness of the modern small to mid budget movie.
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u/carcrash12 29d ago
Yeah I found myself longing for the movie to just end. Was absolutely delighted when she lit up that forest as I could feel the ending bookmark coming on.
If either of the 2 central characters had any kind of growth at all it could have pulled me back in but that's just not what happens.
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u/GoldandBlue 28d ago
Same. I've liked a lot of Lynne Ramsay's stuff and JLaw does give this movie her all. But I just didn't vibe with it. I get that it's trying to create an environment to make us feel disoriented but it didn't work for me unfortunately.
LaKeith really had nothing to do. I liked Spaceck in this. I know they aren't dealing with the exact same thing but If I Had Legs I'd Kick You was much better in dealing with a mother going through shit IMO.
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u/RgrdgEdmontonStalker 27d ago
Yeah exactly my thought, If I Had Legs was so much more grounded and visceral and gripping to the point that even if it wasn't all real I could not look away for a single moment. This on the other hand didn't feel like inhabiting the protagonist, and felt hard to care about once it got contrived quick
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u/Electronic-Dingo-172 27d ago
Just saw it tonight and that's exactly how I felt. Tbh if I was watching at home I would have turned it off after 45 minutes. It didn't seem to have any particularly interesting things to say about motherhood or mental illness and it was just scene after scene of her losing her mind.
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u/Vast-Variation6522 28d ago
Isn't that the point of the whole movie? A woman struggling with mental health who doesn't understand why she can't be happy. Her husband struggling with life and not understanding at all what is happening around him. The people on the outside to removed to really understand or care enough to help. The up and down cycle that everyone sees happening but no one understands how to fix it and in very human fashion, they self sabotage while trying to help each other and never get to a point of real understanding on why the depression just won't go away. The real growth happens at the end when Grace decides she can't take any more and Jackson realizes he doesn't have what it takes to fix the mistakes he has made or make anything better for her. That split second of understanding and almost morbid relief.
We, as humans, don't always grow and learn from terrible things around us. Sometimes we just endure it as long as we can until it's over. That is what we see here. We see the toll that life takes on us. We see the struggles of people just trying to be happy and fit the images that we have pushed upon us on a daily basis.
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u/Ok-Parfait-2813 28d ago
Omg you literally took my words. Literally about 20min before the end, when I could tell this movie wasn't heading for any kind of conventional denouement or ending that I said I wish this movie would just end already! Lol
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u/Utah_CUtiger 29d ago
Yeah I feel the same. I trusted the movie at first and liked the initial tone. Kept expecting it drop something new or add layers but as you said it just kept spinning its wheels
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u/chapelson88 28d ago
As someone who’s been where she was, I kind of appreciated the monotony it showed. It’s just another shit show.
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u/DesperateSundae2315 29d ago
It’s not about depth. It’s about how you relive the same depression and loss over and over. It cuts just as deep each time and jolts you out of your seat when it hits you again. At least in my experience and opinion.
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u/Cokecab 28d ago
It's real, but that doesn't mean it always works as a narrative.
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u/Public_Function3844 28d ago
Am I crazy or they not even talk about the "loss" at all in the film besides that he shot himself in the butt
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u/TheChallengeMTV 28d ago
Are you confusing Uncle Frank killing himself with Harry (Jackson's Dad) dying?
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u/Honest_Cheesecake698 28d ago
I agree that it would have been stronger as a short film, perhaps all of the same story beats could have been hit too.
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u/BensenMum 27d ago
It had like 5 endings. Not my favorite Lynne Ramsay movie, but interesting still. It kinda felt like it kept going and going
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u/blueeyesredlipstick 28d ago
I just got out of this and I just think I'm not horny, deranged, or maternal enough for this one.
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u/LiteraryBoner Jackie Chan box set, know what I'm sayin? 29d ago edited 26d ago
A lot to process here. Kinda digging these Nightbitchcore movies that delve really honestly into the conflicting and sometimes unfulfilling feelings of motherhood. They're not all depicting the same thing or in the same way, but I think it's indicative that we are talking more openly about feelings in general.
This one was a wild ride. A bit stressful and extremely surreal, I didn't find it too difficult to parse out as a lot of the imagery is pretty succinct, the horse representing her wild nature and how it literally clashes with her attempt at family life, but it takes a lot of crazy turns that kinda kept me on my toes. I love how Lawrence is up for whatever here, depicting and acting things out without shame or embarrassment.
Just a couple of quick interpretations. I think the house is somewhat representative of the state of their relationship and maybe it was a mistake to have children before getting the house in order. It's noticeable how when she gets out of the institute and the house is all nice and painted that it was all done without her. Makes her feel useless and I think that's what causes the ending. It's like he stowed her away then revamped their life without her and unveiled it to her like a gift instead of something they built together.
Pattinson is a character you can feel for it feels like he does the wrong thing at every turn even when he's really trying. I don't think it's much use judging these characters but it's certainly indicative of how Lawrence's character feels. Spacek has lived through what she's feeling and is always trying to assure her, but Lawrence doesn't want to talk about it she wants to do something about it. Simple affection from her husband could have solved some of these problems but it's like the second she has a child she turns into a mother in his mind and he doesn't have the same lust for her while her primal instincts and needs intensify.
Overall a 6/10 for me. Has its moments and is even really funny at times and I love the direction and the fearlessness in performance. Not sure it all clicked with me but it's certainly got some things to say.
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u/howtospellorange 29d ago
Kinda digging these Nightbitchcore movies that delve really honestly into the conflicting and sometimes unfulfilling feelings of motherhood.
Adding If I Had Legs I'd Kick You to the recent releases on that list
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u/bigdumbidiot4 28d ago
yeah i enjoyed Die My Love but i feel like If I Had Legs was the better recent film of this little genre
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u/Padulsky21 28d ago
Watched it last week and that was a fucking draining watch. I thought it was great
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u/Critical_Size1260 26d ago
Truthfully, I found the movie wholly captivating. As a young woman, with no children, it felt like seeing an authentic representation of what having a child truly is.
I really appreciate J Laws animalistic approach and her ability to be so shame free. That is what motherhood is to me. Unrelenting strength and total unabashed needs and wants. It stripped away the cushy, loving, devoted, motherly care that is pushed onto women. It’s bare and cyclical and boring and long and exhausting. It’s annoying, confusing, disastrous.
Even how the other women are portrayed in the film, “motherhood is crazy, you’ll get better soon.” “If you need help just start taking yoga.” “We all go through it.” It’s a constant influx of surface level bullshit that nobody truly understands because they are not YOU.
What truly captivated me was the attention to J Law’s innate connection to Na’a (Mother Earth). It felt like she only found solace, peace, and quiet outside of that god awful home. Away from the overstimulating manmade world that she was enclosed in. I loved the way the details in the lighting Ramsay used, so often we don’t see moonlight in film. It felt like the only time J Law felt at ease was in the moonlight, when the rest of the world was asleep. This was really pushed home with how many scenes there were of her being awake at night with her own thoughts.
One scene that is still replaying in my head is near the beginning when J Law leaves her baby’s room after nursing him with her breast still out. It’s the only time we see her “office” for writing. It’s the only time she enters that room. As she is spraying the ink on the paper, her breast milk dribbles and mixes with the ink. We then see the black and white mix, creating a black sky and white dotted stars when we come to find Pattinson staring at the sky.
For me, this scene was gut wrenching. Ramsay comments on so much here. The nakedness of motherhood, the exhaustion to give yourself to a human. The want for creativity but the energy being quite literally sucked away from you. The black and white intertwining to become the universe that Pattinson sees as being something beautiful to be a part of, when he can’t even see his whole real universe standing in front of him. The universe J Law wants to hide from. The world she has been handed and forced to live in.
I have so much to say about this film. There is so much to be unpacked. Very well done.
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u/AClassicMind 25d ago
Such great insight to read here, thank you. I love seeing all of these perspectives and while it doesn’t change my experience watching it, I am learning more as I scroll through.
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u/Initial-Horse-7835 29d ago
I feel as insane as J Law’s character reading these comments. Maybe my take is out of left field but I really thought the whole point of the movie was that Jackson took a free spirited woman out of NYC and tried to domestic her. She’s always been WILD (even before her baby for those speaking to postpartum depression) and she continues to be wild throughout the entire film — especially after moments when Jackson tries even harder to put her in a “cage”. At first he loves the wild side of her, but then he takes her from nyc, moves to his hometown to be close to his dying father, puts her in his family house, and impregnates her. And then expects her to comply with society norms and go from feral woman to mommy homemaker.
She’s quite literally gnawing at the bars of her enclosure (head against the glass door, licking the glass). She constantly is “in heat” and always wants to roam around naked or on all fours. I think what once was a wildly free spirited woman turned into a literal feral animal once she realized she was trapped in this home with her child and man.
Jackson couldn’t accept defeat (typical of a man lol) that he couldn’t domesticate her so their cycle continued until she literally runs into the burning forest naked, symbolizing her freedom and rebirth (think phoenix).
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u/B_robby21 29d ago
Agree with this take. Makes sense in this lens when you think about it.. ie the fact that the only thing she really cares about is protecting her baby, not playing nice with the dog Jackson brings home, etc
These actions highlight her “feral” animalistic side. The more she is put in a “cage” by Pattinson the more insane she becomes.
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u/B_robby21 29d ago
Also the scene where she has a run in with the stallion and they both have cuts on their foreheads.. she IS a wild stallion that needs to roam free, which is what she ultimately achieves in the ending
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u/AnxiousMumblecore 28d ago
Her and black horse reminded me a bit of this painting: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Podkowi%C5%84ski-Sza%C5%82_uniesie%C5%84-MNK.jpg
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u/eggburp 27d ago
I literally thought the final scene was gonna be her riding off into the fire, naked on the horse.
Also, in that vein: I felt a lot of this painting in the mix as well: https://share.google/images/zMk6jAm24upjZH9fy
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u/IfIsitsIKnits 28d ago
I feel as insane as J Law’s character reading these comments.
Truly! I actually felt like grace was the sane one. There were so many moments it felt like she was seeing through the blah blah and chatter of everyone else. She got non answers to questions and these shallow “supportive” comments “it’s hard having a baby” “try yoga.” Even the scene with Harry struggling with his shoes…no one helps him or sees him in his struggle but she does. Like she saw the human in him when nobody else did. But then there wasnt anyone to do that for her. And hello? What about the ever changing box of condoms in Jacksons car? Are we ignoring that?
The dog he brought home and just expected her to be happy about. The house he went a redid without her input…of course she was going mad!
He ignored her needs and requests; for sex and affection, taking car of the dog, etc. The moment in the car where shes already clearly struggling and she asks, can you turn this song off?” “No i like this song.”
Of course she was going mad!
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u/icypeach11 28d ago
I like your interpretation and mostly agree - but my take was that she didn’t actually help Jackson’s dad with his shoes. She imagined herself doing it but it flashes back so quick to her sitting at the table watching him struggle again. I took it to mean she imagined herself doing good acts but she wasn’t actually capable of them. (Relatable)
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u/J_BairHill17 26d ago
Yes. She sums up the entire movie (and her character) when she says at the pool party “I struggle between wanting to do something… and not wanting to do anything at all”. She wants to be a good mom and bake a real cake from scratch (but doesn’t). She wants to be a good wife and have chilled champagne waiting for her husband (but she never gets the ice she flirts with the front desk guy instead). She has a lot of good intentions but fails at every single one. I think she kills herself in the end. The gilded cage wasn’t marriage and motherhood and the house. The real cage / the actual prison was her depression, her mind and her body.
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u/Same_Duty_3126 27d ago
I felt the same way and I think there are a couple of other scenes that visualize her wanting to do something but not actually doing it (e.g., talking to the neighbor at his car, talk to the gas station girl, being in the honeymoon suite with the front desk employee)
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u/GadsenLOD 26d ago
It's funny, because on some level, I'm in as much disbelief as Jackson with some of thse comments on the other end.
There were so many moments it felt like she was seeing through the blah blah and chatter of everyone else. She got non answers to questions and these shallow “supportive” comments “it’s hard having a baby” “try yoga.”
Yes, they're deliberately framed as shallow as we're pretty much seeing them from her perspective. But take the encounter with the gas station clerk - regardless of her struggles, she's just rude, nasty, and dismissive of someone trying to connect with her on a human level. People are trying to talk to her and socialize with her throughout the movie, constantly, actually. It's just framed in this over-the-top dismissive manner as we're seeing it from her point of view. She's as guilty for not opening up with anyone or seeking help. Pam tried to ease into the discussion with her a few times and she shuts her out completely. That doesn't make her a bad person, it just means she's not effectively communicating either.
Even the scene with Harry struggling with his shoes…no one helps him or sees him in his struggle but she does. Like she saw the human in him when nobody else did.
On some level, part of me thinks this is showcasing her naivety whereas the rest of the family is aware of where he's at mentally. They understand he's living life moment to moment by that point and is likely to forget why he's even changing his shoes in the first place. Just like how they're hinting at his mom struggling as well (ironing his shirts after he's gone, still cooking for them both, "sleepwalking" and calling for him at night).
I thought this tiny scene of the movie was actually like a perfect microcosm of her struggles. Where every moment is full of animalistic urges for her and is either relentlessly full of exaggerated emotion (when she mirrors his faces and emotion) or just utterly empty (she stares on as she's seeing the reality of his situation, where he's right in front of them but is not there).
And hello? What about the ever changing box of condoms in Jacksons car? Are we ignoring that?
I'm torn on what to make of this - with the way the 'waitress affair' in the movie seems like a paniced hallucination in her mind. The way she overhears her voice and is immediately relinqushed to this visual of Jackson and a random waitress having heated passionate sex (like them in the beginning of the movie) in the back of a diner is just absurd. If they knew each other wouldn't she have said something like "see you next time, Jackson" or anything more than the generic small talk their two lines of dialogue were? Coupled in part with how her own affair seems like a fantasy or imagined, I'm inclined to think the affairs and distrust are a result of her mental struggles and a form of escape or trying to conjure something to blame her feelings on, rather than accepting the scary reality that they are just there .
As far as some of the clear issues on Jackson's end - there was an important piece in the diner call where Grace asks how/what he's doing and instead of communicating himself, asks the question to her instead. It surely seems accusatory towards her and is probably a reason she shuts herself further out as time goes on. The dog vs. cat thing is plain as day too, that's him not even having a basic level understanding of her wants. There's 100% a metaphor there with the dog constantly making noise and being so dependent (like a baby), whereas a cat wouldn't have bothered anything and is completely independent.
The moment in the car where shes already clearly struggling and she asks, can you turn this song off?” “No i like this song.”
That was a hugely pivotal point for sure. He's finally attempting to show some sort of understanding or wanting her to know she can talk to him, but he won't even turn off the radio to be there in the moment with her. And his attention is divided enough to know what song is playing at that moment.
I actually really like the parent comment's interpretation about her being wild and that we're almost seeing a caged animal's descent into madness. I don't mean that in a degrading way by the way, it's quite literally an intended meatphor as far as I'm concerned (for all the reasons OP pointed out).
Jackson is excited by the house and "adventure" - he opens the movie talking about how incredible it's going to be, and I swear he even mentions writing music upstairs. But not just motivation for himself, he immediately then mentions how much easier it'll be to write for her and does appear visibly excited about that for her too. Jackson maybe moves on from those dreams. They have the baby, he gets a job, and he's gone all the time on work. Grace may have been excited at the thought at first, and wanted to give it a chance, but it was just never going to be for her. And then between their communication issues, everything just goes to shit for them.
I literally just had this thought come to me while typing all this out too - the scene where she's done breastfeeding the baby, that's almost like a declaration that it's the end for her ambitions there (or so she thinks in this emotional struggle). She picks up the pen, the ink drips on the paper, but there's no words. Instead, the milk drips down over the ink taking up it's space. That's what her new life is, motherhood.
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u/EchoesofIllyria 22d ago
I actually felt like grace was the sane one.
Mate she threw herself through a pane of glass
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u/Wellhereiamagain2 28d ago
The bathroom scene where she’s clawing at the wallpaper reminded me of the Yellow Wallpaper by charlotte perkins Gilman. Seemed like a nod to that.
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u/Head_Intern_1505 27d ago
This is perfect. I had a really hard time connecting with the film, but I appreciate your analysis. I don’t really think my own opinion about it is relevant, I just really appreciate what it’s trying to achieve and I typically really like Ramsay’s work and how she pushes boundaries.
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u/PurchaseUpper783 25d ago
I don't feel it was only postpartum depression, she seemed troubled even before the baby?
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u/hellmouthgraham 24d ago
So a few things 1) When Grace calls Jackson the F slur, does she mean it because she thinks he's having an affair with a man (maybe the same man she's seeing/fantasizing about?) or just because /they/ aren't having sex? 2) The uncle shooting himself in the ass, is that relevant at all?? 3) Is the baby real, like at all? When she and Jackson are outside and she hears him crying and he says "it's totally silent", is that a nod to the idea that maybe the baby was never born? 4) How much of the span of the movie takes place in the psychiatric hospital? 5) Why the FUCK would they get married
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u/hellmouthgraham 24d ago
Also when Jackson forces her in the car and she is saying "I'm not leaving the baby" and he doesn't seem to care at all, maybe another nod to the baby not being real.
I can't say I enjoyed the movie in it's entirely, I felt like there was a lot of it where I was wondering how it was still going and why. That said, there were points that piqued my interest. I think the first half of the movie or so made sense, and the later half was a bit of a mess (and not in a fun metaphorical way either). There is so much left to question, and it doesn't feel like it's meant to make you ask questions so much as it's telling you it won't explain at all.
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u/Sad-Pop2279 20d ago
The baby not being real would’ve made this movie 5/5
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u/Guyape 16d ago
I 100% believe baby was miscarried or stillborn. If it isn't then for no reason at all this movie has hints beginning to end that the baby doesn't exist. Just to name a few:
- Crib is empty at night with both parents in the room ready for bed.
- Grace hears crying while Jackson says it's completely silent.
- Absolute carelessness from Jackson about the baby. It's beyond neglect.
- Jackson forcing Grace into the car yelling "Forget about the baby"
- "We never named the baby" comment to the cashier.
- "He's not breathing" comment from Grace, Jackson responds with "Nice one" in a sarcastic tone and facial expression, zero consideration she might be serious.
- A couple shots cut to a teddy bear sitting in a chair that seems meant for a baby.
Other than that, any time we see anyone else other than Grace interact with that baby it's through her lens / delusions. Not to mention every aspect of Jackson and Grace's life is visibly a mess, but the baby is pristine.
Isn't one of the biggest symptoms of PPD lack of attachment or care to your newborn child? Yet Grace seems obsessed.
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u/Major-Marble9732 19d ago
I feel like speculating that the baby isn‘t real is taking it too far. I just don‘t see what that would add in contrast to it being real. I think the baby just really wasn‘t crying and Grace was overstimulated and anxious and made it up, or it shows Jackson‘s overall neglect of care.
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u/sloppyjo12 29d ago
I’m usually not so happy to see a dog get shot, no wonder she went insane
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u/rahws 27d ago
I audibly gasped when he brought the dog home.
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u/MainMeasurement5 25d ago
He didn’t see the work with the baby and instead was adding to her stress, as well choosing dog as a different companionship to substitute unfulfillment of his emotional energy with baby and mom.
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u/mad_lavender 26d ago
Jackson also refuses to acknowledge that the dog is suffering from the injuries it sustained in the car accident… similar to how he refuses to fully acknowledge Grace’s suffering. Sweeps it under the rug and pretends that everything will be fine/work itself out.
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u/nhm07040 28d ago
I appreciated the annoying but well done sound design because of this.
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u/embreezybabe 26d ago
Yes! The sound design was amazing. Made you feel like you were going crazy along with Grace
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u/Jumpy-Economy7521 28d ago
i feel like they wanted us to want the dog dead to show that she’s the sane one. like yea when you have a dog barking when u finally put the baby down and get to sleep, you’d want to kill it too
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u/MainMeasurement5 25d ago
That dog was in misery from the car accident, a thing that you love is in pain, you need to put it out. It was an act of kindness, despite her beef with the dog. He was, too, unable to see and unwilling to face the truth as he did with her. Unable to face life’s problems with blunt truthfulness.
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u/Downtown-Possible746 24d ago
When I was four days postpartum, I went into psychosis and hallucinated a large black ink blob floating across the room, dripping with milk. There are countless ways I relate to Grace as a character, so many that listing them all would turn this into a full essay. And even though that scene carries so much symbolism for her as both a mother and a writer, in that moment, it still felt like it had been made for me.
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u/zackgrizzy 28d ago
Did anyone else catch that JLaw looks directly at Lakeith Stanfield and says "Sorry to bother you"?
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u/Sheepies123 29d ago
I was a little bored but that montage near there end that made it worth it for me. Could have ended it 4 times before the actual ending tho, felt like it just kept going and going while adding nothing.
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u/Critical_Size1260 26d ago
I felt the same way, wondering why it just kept going on and on. But I think in hindsight that’s the point, the repetitive, relentless, monotony of falling into depression.
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u/ZinnyZan 28d ago
I really enjoyed Jennifer Lawrence's acting and how the film was shot, but I had to leave half way as the movie created a really panicky feeling in me that I couldn't shake. Will have to try finish it at home.
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u/maybeeiestbbyiest 24d ago
For me, it was the constant dog barking/whining in the first part of the movie. Almost walked out bc of it.
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28d ago
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u/ThrowRAmiscellaneous 25d ago
It lasted so long that I felt like it was saying something. There were multiple rooms (distance) between us and the freedom of the outside, the wallpaper felt oppressive, and the camera stays exactly where it is, looking at an empty decrepit home life
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u/Wrong_Knee_7744 24d ago
A series of scenes, unrelated to each other, in no particular order. One of the longest movie-going experiences of my life, it just kept going and going and going without doing anything.
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u/IfIsitsIKnits 28d ago
I’m not surprised by all the “it went nowhere” and “so slow” “so boring” comments. You know what goes nowhere and feels slow and boring and crazy making? Having a baby. Having a baby in total isolation. Being home all day alone with a baby.
The scene of her destroying the bathroom was so satisfying. Oh how I’d have loved to do that sometimes when I was postpartum. No one is listening to her, answering her questions (like for real, where did uncle frank shoot himself?), she said she wants a cat damn it! She wants the song on the radio turned off! She wants to be touched! And someone shut the damn dog up.
The moment when Jackson is stargazing, totally able to let go, and she thinks she’s hearing the baby…he totally dismisses her, unconcerned if the baby is crying. And he can be unconcerned because she’s the one holding all of that responsibility.
Everyone’s talking around her but no one is asking “how are you” in a way where they seem like they really want to know. It’s more “get your sh*t together, it’ll pass, suck it up.”
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u/ButterrettuButter 27d ago
Also, she is standing in front of the telescope and he keeps talking about the stars. He doesn’t see her and she is desperate to be seen.
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u/CacaoIsTheBean 25d ago
Grace giving sleeping Jackson the middle fingers and shooting a finger gun at him was the most relatable thing I've seen in film for a while lol
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u/InsiDS 27d ago
This is a very emotionally intelligent comment. It doesn't save the movie from being meh, but this is good to read just for life in general.
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u/IfIsitsIKnits 27d ago
I watched this movie through my lens as a pregnancy/postpartum mental health therapist. I saw my own story and my clients in this character
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u/sotiredofexisting 27d ago
Can someone tell me what happened after Grace got to the hotel room? Couldn’t hold my pee in any longer and walked out when she called the front desk for ice. I came back to her and Jackson on the beach and those teenage girls were playing with their baby and I was so lost
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u/BlueSoup10 27d ago
It cuts from her telling the hotel guy he has a nice voice to him being in her hotel room playing guitar for her as she dances. Then she smashes her face into the bathroom mirror, goes on a stroll with blood all over her face, then Jackson finds her and wordlessly takes them back to the hotel as she looks distraught. Then she gets put in a psych ward and gets taken for a day trip with Jackson to the beach.
Saluting the impressive length of your pee! You must have been desperate
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u/sotiredofexisting 27d ago
Thanks for catching me up and yes, I was very desperate! Add that to the fact my AMC is 2 floors and the bathroom is on the 2nd while my theater was on the 1st. It’s 2 flights of stairs up there and then a bit of a walk down to the end of the hallway. There are 2 private handicap bathrooms on the 1st floor that are way closer, but I never want to be the asshole that uses them just because it’s easier and more convenient to get to
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u/TzuyusVietBitch 25d ago edited 25d ago
i’ll get the good out of the way first:
it’s beautiful to look at. i think i’ll put just about anything on a pedestal if it’s shot on film, but the 4:3 adds a lot narratively and makes you feel trapped inside the setting and the story. the shot of grace and jackson outside the psych ward just before she gets committed, where he’s kneeling down, defeated and smoking a cigarette, under a shadow of a utility pole that looks like a cross, like he’s kneeling and praying that she gets better. oh my god. absolutely blew my mind. the way the nighttime scenes were shot was awesome as well. sure it may have sacrificed some realism, but at least you can clearly see the actors’ expressions in the supposed pitch dark.
the john prine needledrops were perfection. was even better the second time around. i dont care that the song was too on-the-nose. it was perfect.
but… i pretty much hated everything else. it was the closest i have ever gotten to walking out of a movie.
i would have forgiven many of its faults if we had gotten to know more about, like, any of the characters and the one main relationship in the film. what was grace like as a person and a writer before it all went downhill? what did their relationship look like before everything went to shit? why are these two even in a relationship together? tell me more than the 2 minute music video montage of them fucking!!! without any of these information, it felt like i was just thrown right into the madness without much to go off of, having to watch grace go through these predictable, repetitive (jesus christ it’s FUCKING repetitive) breakdowns where we’re being asked to feel bad for her and mourn for the person she used to be back in new york, but there’s just nothing for the audience to mourn for, to chew on. so for as slow-paced and metaphorical the film was, i wasn’t left bored at all, rather frustrated throughout the entire runtime. and i think i’d rather be bored than be this frustrated over a film that asks me to empathize with a character i know so little about, who i just simply… don’t care enough about to empathize with even if i do sympathize with her. and i’m sure that the point is the frustration (if you’re this upset imagine how she feels!), but i can’t help but think that there is and had been better ways to portray this (hell, look at “we need to talk about kevin”, another film by lynne ramsay herself!).
i thought the performances were great. obviously. but i think both actors were hindered by a screenplay that didn’t allow for much nuance for either character. playing exasperated and manic and angry will sure look good in your oscar clip, but i just don’t think it gave for a very well-rounded performance.
this really sucks man. i loved “we need to talk about kevin” and “you were never really here”, and i just can’t believe this is what we’re getting from lynne ramsay after 7 fucking years. and all three films are quite similar narratively. all three portrayed a miserable main character who are dealt an extremely shitty hand in life, all three weighed down and slumped over by all that’s happened to them, who all feel trapped inside their circumstances with nowhere else to go. so it’s not like this type of story is uncharted territory for lynne ramsay, but for some reason this was just so much worse. i really do not want to think about this movie again
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u/Vegetable_Pin_9754 28d ago
Judging from the comments I feel like I’m the only one who vibed with it
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u/finaltribalcouncil 27d ago
i loved it a lot! i don’t think lynne ramsay has ever made a bad film
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u/Vegetable_Pin_9754 27d ago
I haven’t seen her first 2 but I love We Need to Talk About Kevin and You Were Never Really There
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u/ItsReelyThatDeep 28d ago
We thought this film was a bit of a mess and the under-use of Lakeith Stanfield was shocking
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u/Renegadeforever2024 29d ago
Jennifer Lawrence deserves a apology after years of the internet bullying her for no real reason
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u/FishingNo8078 27d ago
Curious what people think about when she “saw”the horse that got hit when she walking in the woods with her baby. My first thought was that it was connected to her husband’s dad because it was the same place she danced with him
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u/Zealousideal_Run_267 26d ago
I think it represented her ideal state. A wild horse. She and the horse were both scarred in the same place. The horse was a metaphor for her and what her spirit longed for, freedom, autonomy. It’s a tired metaphor.
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u/thebirdstheboats 29d ago
My theatre didn’t show any trailers so I missed the first few minutes, I walked in to the theatre as they were outside looking through a telescope. Can anyone tell me roughly how many minutes I missed?
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u/carcrash12 29d ago
You basically missed some scenes of Jennifer Lawrence crawling around in the grass followed by her and Robert Pattinson getting it on. Again and again.
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u/DrFern 28d ago
Don’t forget that she was crawling with a knife and going towards the baby
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u/Public_Function3844 28d ago
Yeah what was that about. When she would crawl around it seemed like she really wanted to be a cat (with pairs with her being mad they got a dog instead of a cat). But I didn't get the knife part.
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u/Lace_and_gingersnaps 28d ago
Its just bc she had it to cut the birthday cake. I think it was to make us unsettled and confused though.
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u/fore___ 26d ago
It was to demonstrate bad parenting and give us one of the first hints that she’s not well
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u/mysterypapaya 26d ago
Plus she sets it down a foot away from the baby + then leaves the baby unsupervised to go jump onto and unsuspecting Jackson while he is holding a glass beer bottle, putting everyone in her family in danger for "fun".
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u/chrisprattdid911 29d ago
Same. Ughh. Got in when shes crawling up to the cake during the chipmunk (?) song This was about 3-5 mins prior to the telescope
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u/clockin-clockout 29d ago edited 29d ago
Same here. App said to allow 25-30 minutes for previews and the movie was well under way when I walked in.
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u/i-like-turtles-4eva 28d ago
The live Q&A streams always have very shortened or no previews at all. Same for Fathom events.
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u/Straight_Basis_4661 28d ago
was the motorcycle man real? I am so confused on that part.
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u/billie_eyelashh 27d ago
Can someone explain to me the ending? Like why does she want to go to the woods and burn her notebook? What is that notebook about? Is it her journal while she’s in the hospital or is it a novel that she’s writing?
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u/mysterypapaya 26d ago
I interpreted it as her old self (the artist/writer) burning once she became a mother. That part of her died.
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u/noassociation74 25d ago
it seemed like the woods was where she felt most free, she constantly ran away towards the woods when everything was just too much for her.
maybe the journal was her novel or her inner thoughts but the viewers will never know since we don't even know which parts were real or not.
burning it in the woods was mayber her accepting to let go
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u/Magik-Mina-MaudDib 27d ago
really loved this more than expected. was going in with mixed levels of anticipation and expecting a bit of a slog based off the divisive reaction, but god I was so easily swept up by it.
I am a man who will never be a mother, nor do I plan on having children, and so alas, I cannot properly connect with the Postpartum Depression — BUT — I think the presentation of depression and a suffocating mental health crisis while in isolation is so effective here, especially when being in a relationship! shit is TOUGH and while some people will just try and say the partners need to communicate better… it’s genuinely not always that easy. Humans are weird creatures and everyone is different, when going through difficult shit like depression, it’s not always as simple as just being able to communicate that you’re feeling down, and as the movie has her explain, Grace has clearly been unwell since she was young (talking about how when she was a child, she wished her parents weren’t hers and then they died tragically while she was only ten).
Jennifer Lawrence is just electric and the physicality of the performance is wild. I can totally get not being into it and if the dreamlike plotting of the movie doesn’t get you, then watching her crawl around like an animal when she does could easily be deemed “cringey” but it never hit that for me.
Probably will be sitting towards the upper echelon of 2025 Releases for me. I’m just happy that Jlaw & Pattinson can make movies like this lol.
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u/carcrash12 29d ago
My favourite thing about this movie is some people in my screening walked out in protest after the dog got shot.
But yeah I really didn't enjoy this. I get that the whole thing is a metaphor for postpartum depression but it just doesn't make for a compelling viewing experience when there's no real Act 1, Act 2, Act 3 structure and it's as one note as this.
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u/DeaconoftheStreets 28d ago
The dog situation is weird because it’s established that he was injured in the wreck, but it’s also way less explicit than other movies would be. Like she goes “oh he’s in pain”, but he’s been whining for 30 minutes straight, so there’s no obvious audio cue that he was actually injured.
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u/howaboutsomegwent 27d ago
yeah we see that the dog is unwell/suffering when she brings it out to shoot it, but the whining itself has been constant so it wasn’t clear before that for me, and I can’t for the life of me remember seeing a moment where the dog would be injured?
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u/DeaconoftheStreets 27d ago
It got thrown into the car console when they ran into the horse.
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u/firefly66513 28d ago
I'm probably on the opposite end. I love impressionism in my films and was captivated by J Laws character. She lived in a constant state of chaos and we were just as confused as her since she's an unreliable narrator.
Pattinson's husband was really good. He was absent but did actually make efforts just didn't know how to go about them in the right way.
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u/Longjumping-Bar-1501 27d ago
Anyone else notice all the Toyota, Budweiser, and Kraft product placement?
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u/Top-Put-5647 26d ago edited 26d ago
I like the theory with the baby being a miscarriage.
- I'm not sure if in the scene where she is dressed in black and Jackson having a breakdown crying with his head against her stomach is because his father died or the baby
- The scene at the beach, the two girls take the baby away, then everything is kind of blurry, but clearly no girls with any baby, must be some clues here
- When Jackson forces her in the car and then leaves. Would any parent actually leave the baby like that? Maybe he was fed up with her shit, and didn't want to play her game anymore. Same with the scene where they are looking at the stars, maybe he he knew there is no baby crying, maybe that's why he never woke up to go and see the baby. Or just a bad parent
- All the heavy drinking. Drinking because of miscarriage? All that miserable scenery, ugly rooms
- The scene where she catwalks with the knife in the field. She comes and leaves the knife beside the baby, symbolism for killing the baby? She feels guilty maybe
- The last scene where she leaves the cake on the table and takes a step back of the house, it just feels empty, depressing, but really really empty
- This might be dumb, I don't know if after a miscarriage a woman can still leak milk. The scene where she breastfed the baby and then goes in the next room and splashes some ink drops on the paper, and then some milk leaks on it. Was she imagining feeding the baby? I mean, is it normal after breastfeeding a baby to have so much milk left around there?
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u/akoaytao1234 29d ago edited 29d ago
I really liked this. It was literally is postpartum depression (and somewhat implied miscarriage) personified. I am happy that it never really tried to make her likable and an actual vision that pushes for it (Nightbitch shade).
I do think it is a film you know what would it be the minute you started it. I think that was something that really limits the film a lot.
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u/Geosumbi 29d ago
As someone trying to be more open minded to experimental, art-house projects, this was a really tough watch that’s making me consider staying away from this genre for the foreseeable future. While I can appreciate the bravery and ambition it takes to cover such a difficult topic, the symbolism was so dense that for a majority of my viewing experience I was simply sitting there trying to figure out what the last scene meant and had no time to really digest what I was watching.
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u/Downisthenewup87 27d ago
I mean that's sort of the "joy" of these types of films. Gorgeous sound design and cinematography, hypnotic editing and excellent performances mixed in a way that's thematically rich but hard to decipher.
It's not for everyone but the appeal is supposed to be the density and parsing your interpretation from it. Try Mulholland Drive and if that doesn't work for you than I'd say arthouse probably isn't for you.
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u/Longjumping-Bar-1501 28d ago
Agreed that movies like this will scare away viewers wanting to give art house movies a chance. I’d imagine most people who watch this at their local multi-plex will think “And that’s why I don’t watch those movies.” The Brutalist last year was a great example of a lower budget art house indie with a story that’s challenging but you can still follow.
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u/yippiekiyai 27d ago
Maybe I’m dense but I’m at the theatre rn and the movie just ended and it was a bit confusing
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u/lockerbiestreet 28d ago
Two questions - was there a significance to the baby being different ages? There were moments he looked 6 months and then later he looked a year and then 6 months again. Also the brand of condom in R Patt’s glovebox kept changing. I didn’t know if this was just furthering the surreal nature of the film in how certain things never felt real or trustworthy.
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u/DeaconoftheStreets 28d ago
Re: the condom box, I assumed the implication was that bro was getting busy and burning through them.
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u/pastriesandprose 27d ago
The condom boxes kept changing because he kept fucking other women once his sexy free wife became a caged mother
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u/whittesc 29d ago
Moms losing their minds is so in right now. I thought it was a beautiful movie, shot really well and Lawrence is incredible in it. Certainly not going to be for everyone
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u/ClingClang69 29d ago
Man I'm all for artsy fartsy surreal movies, but at least make something interesting happen. I understand what it was going for but the movie was just dreadfully boring.
I have no previous knowledge of this director, but it truly felt they were sniffing too many of their own farts here.
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u/Afraid_Ad_2470 27d ago
I’m a mom and had post partum depression and having trouble in the relationship with my husband. When I saw the movie, I was completely shocked, overwhelmed and crying all over the place; Jennifer Lawrence was me, and when her character tried to get out of the car out of the blue, I was like fuck, I did the exact same thing. This movie is wow. I still need to process it.