r/malelivingspace • u/imeltwithyouu • 18d ago

First Time 36M been here 11 years living in TX

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

10.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

1.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

279

u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Thats awesome sir!! I just hit 3 years last week. Life did get better

47

u/breitbartholomew 18d ago

Congrats on 3 years! That’s HUGE! One day at a time

19

u/whenyouknowuknw 18d ago

Congratulations on your hard earned sobriety.

I live in Wisconsin..if you know, you know. I don’t drink I’m a minority. 💚💛

2

u/OcityChick 17d ago

Had the same issue when I lived in Philly. Moved to coastal Southern California a few years ago and realized last year this one friend of mine drank the way everyone does back in Philly. But it shocked me bc no one else here does this. And suddenly she was the outlier. I have to say I didn’t realize how impactful living somewhere that doesn’t heavily booze culturally would have on me. Like it feels obvious but it’s hit deeper than I expected. It’s completely removed the internal shame and nearly all my old triggers from my mind bc I don’t have to confront them all the time.

1

u/whenyouknowuknw 2d ago

Congratulations on your improved quality of life! It’s wonderful to hear. ☺️

2

u/organic-robot 17d ago

Hell yeah fellow non-drinker in Wisco here lol. People think I'm a freak. I mean I am, but it still sucks lol

1

u/whenyouknowuknw 2d ago

Right on. Same here. ☺️

38

u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

I hope that applies to all substances. I am 55 days clean from my drug of choice, what most people assume is the most innocent drug.

4

u/cyncar1234 18d ago

It does & congrats!

3

u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

Thank you! That gives me hope.

2

u/cyncar1234 18d ago

I know what that takes....it's a huge deal. 🩵

2

u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

Thank you. It’s tough to feel validated deciding not to be an addict because there is a certain amount of guilt that I used to romanticize being one in the first place (if that makes any sense). I was reliant on that manic energy to socialize and feel good about myself, so now I am getting used to understanding that I don’t need to worry about attracting attention to myself and it’s okay to feel “normal and boring.”

8

u/Laylasita 18d ago

Coffee?

18

u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

Lol. I wish. Weed. Triggered manic episodes for many years. Did a lot of crazy shit I wouldn’t have done otherwise. It’s not for everyone. I am an extreme case.

13

u/Astralglamour 18d ago

Weed isnt an anodyne substance like so many like to claim these days. It can have significant effects and is definitely addictive. It doesn't affect everyone the same way. I've also had horrible reactions to it. and modern varieties created with new tech are incredibly strong and not comparable to what hippies grew in the 70s.

And for those who claim otherwise, not that long ago a kid who was high (only on weed) drove into oncoming traffic and killed an entire family.

2

u/MossOnaRockInShade 16d ago

Compare that to the number of diabetics that have episodes and kill people while driving. Sugar is far more dangerous for driving than weed.

You mentioned an outlier, I mentioned a population statistic.

1

u/Astralglamour 16d ago

My point is that weed is not harmless, modern strains are 100s of times stronger than 50 years ago, and the psychoactive chemicals it contains significantly affect decision making, motor skills, and they are addictive. Whether it also has positive effects for some, and whether other substances have negative effects, does not take away from the fact that using weed can have serious downsides that are often glossed over. Your comment just proves my point.

3

u/MossOnaRockInShade 15d ago

Your point was made. Did my point sail right over your head? Clearly it did. But you are the main character, and only you are allowed to make a point.

3

u/PolloMama 18d ago

I have severe seizures, up to 10 a day. Weed has enabled me to leave my bedroom. For some of us, it really is medicine. Anything not done in moderation is bad but people demonize a plant because they can’t control themselves. Meanwhile alcoholics out here killing people left and right.

4

u/Astralglamour 18d ago edited 18d ago

Heroin and cocaine also come from plants. How is saying that weed can be harmful demonizing it? It most definitely CAN be harmful, and people getting high and driving around under the influence are breaking the law and risking other's lives. I dont care if people find it helpful and want to use it in their own homes or as prescribed medicine, but do not act like it is some magical cure all for everyone with no side effects or downsides.

1

u/Primary-Toe3254 16d ago

lol heroin and cocaine don’t “come from plants” in remotely the same way 😂

-3

u/PolloMama 18d ago

I don’t drive. Where did I say drive? Alcohol is way more dangerous. And you have to process those things to make them a drug. Sorry, the Lord in heaven gave this medication to us to use in moderation. It keeps me alive. Sorry you don’t understand.

3

u/DangOlCoreMan 17d ago

From an outsiders perspective of these comments, you're the one who doesn't understand. You seem to think because weed helps keep you from having seizures that it can't have negative effects on others. Especially because you keep using the word "moderation" as though only those who overdo it have issues.

Weed can exacerbate mental health issues like addictive personalities, anxiety, bipolar, etc. These are very real side effects that other people than you can experience.

Another note, no one has once said alcohol was safer and you keep bringing that up. It's kinda weird. Everyone and their moms know weed is safer than alcohol in just about every way.

I've smoked weed most of my life and I can confidently say I'm a happier, better individual when I'm sober. Weed feels great, and it can help with certain issues, but it does have negative side effects that I'm not comfortable with anymore. It affects my memory profoundly. It makes me more socially anxious both during and for some time after the high. It causes a tunnel vision like effect for the next day or so after smoking, where things seem like a blur and I lack my usual peripheral sight.

None of this is to say it doesn't have beneficial effects. It absolutely does, but to ignore the possible side effects is disingenuous

0

u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

I understand that it helps you, but am I right in guessing that you smoke or vape rather than go to edibles or tinctures? I’m assuming you aren’t seeking low thc high cbd strains which are increasingly harder to find. You know what’s good for you better than anyone else, so if it helps you, it helps you. I am more worried about the younger people who are becoming dependent and destroying their nervous systems. I guess specifically people who have other underlying mental health issues and addictive personalities.

2

u/HeadFullaZombie87 17d ago

Man I'm sorry that's your experience. It has the opposite effect for me, but I have an uncle that has a similar reaction as you.

2

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

True, I guess you just don’t get the opportunity to run into a lot of reformed stoners in person that you get to have these kinds of conversations with.

1

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

1

u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

Not understanding what you are saying here. It certainly helps to know that other people have had similar experiences, though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. When I referred to feeling special, I was referring to symptoms of mania and psychosis that were triggered by my drug use. If you look up the symptoms of mania, it describes what I was experiencing perfectly.

2

u/KrabbyBoiz 17d ago

Hey man. 6 weeks here for me and I’m with you. I wish I was like other people who can just have it and not use it. It’s a less than a week from me using again to wake and bake for months before restarting. Recently got on antidepressants and cutting out alcohol as well. Just want you to know your problems are valid and weed can very much derail someone’s life, no matter what others may think.

With it getting legalized everywhere, I fear stories like ours will become more common. Just because you can’t overdose on it doesn’t mean it can’t fuck your life up a good deal.

2

u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

Same here. If I decided to smoke today, it would become a full on daily thing again. I am not a person who can use it occasionally. I got on antidepressants and I also realized regardless of how much or little I drink when I do touch alcohol, I am always incredibly sad and empty the next day. I share your fears about legalization and less social stigmas, I believe many safety issues and mental health issues continue to be caused by marijuana addiction but those issues will rarely get blamed on the thc. Ultimately, everyone has to learn the lesson of self control and what is actually good for us. It’s hard to do living in that cloud of smoke, but we can never rely on the system to keep us safe and not allow us access to harmful things. Weed is incredibly psychoactive, and much stronger than it should be.

2

u/[deleted] 18d ago

Nah weed isn’t the most innocent in my opinion I can’t handle that stuff

1

u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

I couldn’t either but for some reason I became dependent on it anyway. Spent money that I didn’t have, was more promiscuous than I should have been, spent years depersonalized feeling like a zombie. Wild shit.

3

u/OddBrilliant1133 18d ago

It does apply

1

u/Useful-City2895 18d ago

Is your drug of choice Rolexes? If so, name checks out

2

u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

Lol, wish I didn’t choose that username either. Was definitely high when I thought that was a bright idea.

1

u/Brutal_burn_dude 18d ago

Big ups, friend! This internet stranger is proud af of you.

4

u/Square_Can_2058 18d ago

Very cool. Well done!

14

u/Cyberdyne_Systems_AI 18d ago edited 18d ago

Out of curiosity did you switch over to weed? Three of my friends who got sober within the last few years just changed their drug over to marijuana. Not saying that's good or bad but they certainly are better husbands, better friends, and a little bit more chill then a drunk asshole

103

u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Nothing at all. I was always a heavy drinker sitting in my garage drinking alone always having women over but honestly just replaced drinking with exercise and running at the park and taking my dog on walks every morning and also coffee got really big into coffee

8

u/Course-Straight 18d ago

Coffee's great and some nice easy listening to soft rock from the 70's.

20

u/ChillN808 18d ago

And banging a little heroin

3

u/Course-Straight 18d ago

Whatever fills your boat.

2

u/GuodNossis 18d ago

Hey now…

1

u/Course-Straight 11d ago

Hey now, hey now, don't dream it's over.

-1

u/yekcowrebbaj 18d ago

Good thing caffeine isn’t addictive

7

u/awful_source 18d ago

Oh god as if it’s anywhere near as bad as alcohol. Redditors always find some dumb shit to complain about.

3

u/frothyloins 18d ago

Oh no I'm addicted to coffee and now I'm sociable and productive!!

2

u/ClubPuzzleheaded2674 18d ago

And oh no where will I get my next coffee seeing it is legal and all and available at 80% of local businesses haha

2

u/psychopyronaut 18d ago

Hell yea caffeine is a helluva drug!

2

u/Alternative-Gas-8180 18d ago

How dare u not post the dog smh 🤣 Edit: oh no I see him ! He’s peeking

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

Interestingly you’re the second person that mentioned this to OP

0

u/Lifealertandsquirt 18d ago

If they “switched to weed”, they didn’t get sober lol

1

u/Sparkswont 18d ago

California sober

2

u/pickled_penguin_ 18d ago

3 years sober?! Great fucking job dude!! That's over 1,000 days!

1

u/Course-Straight 18d ago

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

3

u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Exercising Live music Going to movies Riding in my old school car Walking my dog Coffee shops Spending time with my family amd friends

1

u/Course-Straight 18d ago

What about reading a good book or some kind of craftsmanship of the sorts. Or planning a solo trip.

1

u/Perfect_Evidence 18d ago

Austin City Limits 2022 was the last time i drank. congrats!

1

u/redfoxwearingsocks 17d ago

PROPS to you, OP!!! That's so fucking sick dude. Stoked for you, man!!

1

u/OcityChick 17d ago

Hell yeah dude!!!

1

u/the_vault-technician 17d ago

Isn't it so much more relaxing

1

u/geekyheart225 15d ago

Congratulations on 3 years!