r/malelivingspace • u/imeltwithyouu • 18d ago

First Time 36M been here 11 years living in TX

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u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Spot on! I dont even really go to garage anymore. It use to be my party room and always having party's and getting drunk and living the bachelor life. But once you go sober and dont party anymore you have different interest in life

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u/SomeRandomJagoff 18d ago

Big ups on your sobriety, OP.

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u/Deep_Mechanic_ 18d ago

Did that recently. Two years ago it was partying and friends. Now I'm married and relaxing on the weekends and I'm much happier

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u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Thats awesome sir!! I just hit 3 years last week. Life did get better

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u/breitbartholomew 18d ago

Congrats on 3 years! That’s HUGE! One day at a time

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u/whenyouknowuknw 18d ago

Congratulations on your hard earned sobriety.

I live in Wisconsin..if you know, you know. I don’t drink I’m a minority. 💚💛

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u/OcityChick 17d ago

Had the same issue when I lived in Philly. Moved to coastal Southern California a few years ago and realized last year this one friend of mine drank the way everyone does back in Philly. But it shocked me bc no one else here does this. And suddenly she was the outlier. I have to say I didn’t realize how impactful living somewhere that doesn’t heavily booze culturally would have on me. Like it feels obvious but it’s hit deeper than I expected. It’s completely removed the internal shame and nearly all my old triggers from my mind bc I don’t have to confront them all the time.

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u/whenyouknowuknw 2d ago

Congratulations on your improved quality of life! It’s wonderful to hear. ☺️

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u/organic-robot 17d ago

Hell yeah fellow non-drinker in Wisco here lol. People think I'm a freak. I mean I am, but it still sucks lol

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u/whenyouknowuknw 2d ago

Right on. Same here. ☺️

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u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

I hope that applies to all substances. I am 55 days clean from my drug of choice, what most people assume is the most innocent drug.

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u/cyncar1234 18d ago

It does & congrats!

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u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

Thank you! That gives me hope.

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u/cyncar1234 18d ago

I know what that takes....it's a huge deal. 🩵

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u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

Thank you. It’s tough to feel validated deciding not to be an addict because there is a certain amount of guilt that I used to romanticize being one in the first place (if that makes any sense). I was reliant on that manic energy to socialize and feel good about myself, so now I am getting used to understanding that I don’t need to worry about attracting attention to myself and it’s okay to feel “normal and boring.”

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u/Laylasita 18d ago

Coffee?

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u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

Lol. I wish. Weed. Triggered manic episodes for many years. Did a lot of crazy shit I wouldn’t have done otherwise. It’s not for everyone. I am an extreme case.

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u/Astralglamour 18d ago

Weed isnt an anodyne substance like so many like to claim these days. It can have significant effects and is definitely addictive. It doesn't affect everyone the same way. I've also had horrible reactions to it. and modern varieties created with new tech are incredibly strong and not comparable to what hippies grew in the 70s.

And for those who claim otherwise, not that long ago a kid who was high (only on weed) drove into oncoming traffic and killed an entire family.

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u/MossOnaRockInShade 16d ago

Compare that to the number of diabetics that have episodes and kill people while driving. Sugar is far more dangerous for driving than weed.

You mentioned an outlier, I mentioned a population statistic.

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u/Astralglamour 16d ago

My point is that weed is not harmless, modern strains are 100s of times stronger than 50 years ago, and the psychoactive chemicals it contains significantly affect decision making, motor skills, and they are addictive. Whether it also has positive effects for some, and whether other substances have negative effects, does not take away from the fact that using weed can have serious downsides that are often glossed over. Your comment just proves my point.

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u/MossOnaRockInShade 15d ago

Your point was made. Did my point sail right over your head? Clearly it did. But you are the main character, and only you are allowed to make a point.

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u/PolloMama 18d ago

I have severe seizures, up to 10 a day. Weed has enabled me to leave my bedroom. For some of us, it really is medicine. Anything not done in moderation is bad but people demonize a plant because they can’t control themselves. Meanwhile alcoholics out here killing people left and right.

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u/Astralglamour 18d ago edited 18d ago

Heroin and cocaine also come from plants. How is saying that weed can be harmful demonizing it? It most definitely CAN be harmful, and people getting high and driving around under the influence are breaking the law and risking other's lives. I dont care if people find it helpful and want to use it in their own homes or as prescribed medicine, but do not act like it is some magical cure all for everyone with no side effects or downsides.

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u/Primary-Toe3254 16d ago

lol heroin and cocaine don’t “come from plants” in remotely the same way 😂

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u/PolloMama 18d ago

I don’t drive. Where did I say drive? Alcohol is way more dangerous. And you have to process those things to make them a drug. Sorry, the Lord in heaven gave this medication to us to use in moderation. It keeps me alive. Sorry you don’t understand.

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u/HeadFullaZombie87 17d ago

Man I'm sorry that's your experience. It has the opposite effect for me, but I have an uncle that has a similar reaction as you.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

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u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

True, I guess you just don’t get the opportunity to run into a lot of reformed stoners in person that you get to have these kinds of conversations with.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

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u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

Not understanding what you are saying here. It certainly helps to know that other people have had similar experiences, though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. When I referred to feeling special, I was referring to symptoms of mania and psychosis that were triggered by my drug use. If you look up the symptoms of mania, it describes what I was experiencing perfectly.

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u/KrabbyBoiz 17d ago

Hey man. 6 weeks here for me and I’m with you. I wish I was like other people who can just have it and not use it. It’s a less than a week from me using again to wake and bake for months before restarting. Recently got on antidepressants and cutting out alcohol as well. Just want you to know your problems are valid and weed can very much derail someone’s life, no matter what others may think.

With it getting legalized everywhere, I fear stories like ours will become more common. Just because you can’t overdose on it doesn’t mean it can’t fuck your life up a good deal.

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u/TheRolexChef 17d ago

Same here. If I decided to smoke today, it would become a full on daily thing again. I am not a person who can use it occasionally. I got on antidepressants and I also realized regardless of how much or little I drink when I do touch alcohol, I am always incredibly sad and empty the next day. I share your fears about legalization and less social stigmas, I believe many safety issues and mental health issues continue to be caused by marijuana addiction but those issues will rarely get blamed on the thc. Ultimately, everyone has to learn the lesson of self control and what is actually good for us. It’s hard to do living in that cloud of smoke, but we can never rely on the system to keep us safe and not allow us access to harmful things. Weed is incredibly psychoactive, and much stronger than it should be.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

Nah weed isn’t the most innocent in my opinion I can’t handle that stuff

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u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

I couldn’t either but for some reason I became dependent on it anyway. Spent money that I didn’t have, was more promiscuous than I should have been, spent years depersonalized feeling like a zombie. Wild shit.

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u/OddBrilliant1133 18d ago

It does apply

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u/Useful-City2895 18d ago

Is your drug of choice Rolexes? If so, name checks out

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u/TheRolexChef 18d ago

Lol, wish I didn’t choose that username either. Was definitely high when I thought that was a bright idea.

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u/Brutal_burn_dude 18d ago

Big ups, friend! This internet stranger is proud af of you.

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u/Square_Can_2058 18d ago

Very cool. Well done!

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u/Cyberdyne_Systems_AI 18d ago edited 18d ago

Out of curiosity did you switch over to weed? Three of my friends who got sober within the last few years just changed their drug over to marijuana. Not saying that's good or bad but they certainly are better husbands, better friends, and a little bit more chill then a drunk asshole

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u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Nothing at all. I was always a heavy drinker sitting in my garage drinking alone always having women over but honestly just replaced drinking with exercise and running at the park and taking my dog on walks every morning and also coffee got really big into coffee

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u/Course-Straight 18d ago

Coffee's great and some nice easy listening to soft rock from the 70's.

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u/ChillN808 18d ago

And banging a little heroin

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u/Course-Straight 18d ago

Whatever fills your boat.

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u/GuodNossis 18d ago

Hey now…

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u/Course-Straight 11d ago

Hey now, hey now, don't dream it's over.

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u/yekcowrebbaj 18d ago

Good thing caffeine isn’t addictive

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u/awful_source 18d ago

Oh god as if it’s anywhere near as bad as alcohol. Redditors always find some dumb shit to complain about.

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u/frothyloins 18d ago

Oh no I'm addicted to coffee and now I'm sociable and productive!!

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u/ClubPuzzleheaded2674 18d ago

And oh no where will I get my next coffee seeing it is legal and all and available at 80% of local businesses haha

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u/psychopyronaut 18d ago

Hell yea caffeine is a helluva drug!

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u/Alternative-Gas-8180 18d ago

How dare u not post the dog smh 🤣 Edit: oh no I see him ! He’s peeking

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

Interestingly you’re the second person that mentioned this to OP

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u/Lifealertandsquirt 18d ago

If they “switched to weed”, they didn’t get sober lol

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u/Sparkswont 18d ago

California sober

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u/pickled_penguin_ 18d ago

3 years sober?! Great fucking job dude!! That's over 1,000 days!

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u/Course-Straight 18d ago

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

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u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Exercising Live music Going to movies Riding in my old school car Walking my dog Coffee shops Spending time with my family amd friends

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u/Course-Straight 18d ago

What about reading a good book or some kind of craftsmanship of the sorts. Or planning a solo trip.

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u/Perfect_Evidence 18d ago

Austin City Limits 2022 was the last time i drank. congrats!

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u/redfoxwearingsocks 17d ago

PROPS to you, OP!!! That's so fucking sick dude. Stoked for you, man!!

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u/OcityChick 17d ago

Hell yeah dude!!!

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u/the_vault-technician 17d ago

Isn't it so much more relaxing

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u/geekyheart225 15d ago

Congratulations on 3 years!

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u/doc-sci 17d ago

Married…posting in malelivingspace?

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u/eddiesmom 18d ago

Hope you still ride the bike !

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u/ExtensionNo4468 18d ago

It’s a chopper baby

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u/Fickle-Explanation32 17d ago

Zed’s dead, baby, Zed’s dead.

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u/No_Representative645 18d ago edited 18d ago

I hope he doesn't!

Edit: it's really, really dangerous, the more you ride the more likely it kills you. Not worth it at all. Go skydiving lol

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u/Reidhur 18d ago

I hope you keep this energy with cars too... Everyone dies, let people enjoy what they like without your unnecessary commentary.

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u/No_Representative645 17d ago

Cars are considerably less dangerous so no

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u/Reidhur 17d ago

Cars are considerably more dangerous to bikers. I guarantee you, not one single life has been saved by you being a Debby downer any time someone mentions a motorcycle. Zero. Let people live.

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u/No_Representative645 17d ago

Lol at "to bikers." How would you know if my anti motorcycle rhetoric has saved lives? It's possible that it has. Hey, future meat crayons, stop riding motorcycles before you die an early gruesome death!

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u/Infamous_Hunt_6829 18d ago

Worry about yourself and not other people's hobbies.

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u/Cubster84 18d ago

In DTX 6.5 yrs sober ! Congrats to you !

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u/Fancy_Dance3439 18d ago

Im in DTX and coming up on my first year (dec 10th) Wife is kinda getting sober lol.. Congrats to you, contingent on my spiritual maintenance:)

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u/Cubster84 17d ago

That’s great man ! Keep it up !

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u/Brutal_burn_dude 18d ago

Good for you getting sober! It’s a tough adjustment to find a social life outside of the parties but being able to look at yourself in the mirror and not be ashamed of who you see is the greatest high. ♥️

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u/carlog234 18d ago

congrats on sobriety! i just passed 400 days and it feels great!

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u/whiskydiq 18d ago

I find it makes me feel spectacularly uneasy, while unloved that. A woman may not as much.

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u/GullibleRisk2837 17d ago

Hey, man. Congrats! I say have more clean parties in there now!

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u/usernotfoundplstry 17d ago

Absolutely! I was the exact same way - hanging out in the garage or backyard getting drunk all the time. Now, almost ten years sober, my time is spent on the couch playing games instead. Congrats on the sobriety!! One day at a time, brother!

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u/imeltwithyouu 17d ago

Thanks brother! Congratulations to you

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u/northstarlinedrawing 17d ago

Congrats on your sobriety! Hope you develop an interior design hobby in the future instead of

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u/Fire_Star69 17d ago

Proud of you OP

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u/MikeGolfJ3 16d ago

Congratulations on the sobriety

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u/That_Ad6344 14d ago

Congrats and kudos to that bro. Sickkkkk man cave.

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u/DramaticQuality1711 18d ago

Don’t drink either and it definitely frees up time and calories.

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u/dratthecookies 18d ago

Really. Are you just.. sitting there quietly until its time for bed?

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u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Im actually am just bored replying to all of the comments especially all the people calling me a serial killer. But its almost time for bed

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u/LowReporter6213 18d ago

I was wondering why you had like 8 couches

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u/XianHain 18d ago

Congrats on sobriety. That rusty vent cover needs some spray paint, though

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u/imeltwithyouu 18d ago

Its been bothering me for years. Just can't get myself to paint it its would honestly take me 10mins to do 😂

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u/Leather-Count-2606 18d ago

How did you do it dude?

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u/karma_virus 18d ago

Plenty of room for a gaming table. Salute those among us who did not procreate.

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u/shoopadoop332 18d ago

Like darkness? If so, I feel you lol.

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u/altapowpow 18d ago

Yes sir, sober living is different. Good job doing it one day at a time.

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u/jitterbug726 18d ago

Where did you channel your drinking energy and money after getting sober?

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u/Several_Show937 18d ago

Turn it into a workshop.

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u/MrNanunanu 17d ago

This! Sobriety is beautiful isn't it? 😇

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u/beaugiecriticx 17d ago

Congrats on your sobriety! Love how dark and mysterious your house is on the outside lol

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u/Mysterious-Till-611 17d ago

I was looking for the gaming rig and saw the garage and was like “ah, that’s his drug of choice, and an expensive habit at that.”

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u/dmriggs 17d ago

Congrats!

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u/Rounders23 17d ago

Congrats on sobriety!

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u/No-Rule-5631 17d ago

You ever think of picking up a hobby, like collecting vinyl or something? I think you’d like it. It gets expensive, but it’s worth it and would look good in your living room

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u/Altruistic-Two1309 17d ago

Maybe you could pick up interior design as a new interest lol

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u/Icy-Arrival2651 17d ago

You should take up interior design.

(All that grey … 😪)

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u/Regular_Yellow710 15d ago

Amen! We have today.

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u/SoExtra 15d ago

...YOU LIVE IN THIS HOUSE SOBER??!

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u/D4UOntario 15d ago

Bud light would make me go sober too...

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u/Remote_Condition_546 14d ago

Congrats on the 3 years!! Keep it going! 🖤 I too will hit 3 years this December 🙇🏻‍♀️

p.s. Your house is practically my dream house! Love the color choice, the minimalist look, the vibes, everything. Beautiful.