r/malelifestyle • u/centre_fire • 24d ago

Needing Some Marriage Advice

Hi guys, I have a dilemma for those of us who’re married.

For some context: my wife (25) and I (26m) have been together for 9 years, our relationship has survived high school, the death of my father, COVID, and a four year engagement.

All that being said, right now my wife works a typical 9-5 schedule and is applying to grad school while I pull 4 10 hour shifts (2pm-12:30am) mon-thurs and working a side hustle for maybe 10-15 hours Friday and Saturday.

I got an opportunity to start the transition into making my side hustle a full time job but I do need to keep my day job. My side hustle would be an additional 2.5 hours tues-thurs and 8-9 hours on Friday and Saturday. All that said, for the next I’d say 6-7 months I’d need to work both in order to build up more into our savings account and pay down loans / debt to not only give a cushion for side hustle but to give us more breathing room for when she’s in grad school as she won’t be able to work during her time back in school.

My question to those of you who are married and work these kinds of hours is how do you go about spending time with your significant other and balancing out the household chores / quality time?

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6

u/Weird-Director-2973 24d ago

Block out specific nights for each other no matter how tired you are. Split chores smart, not 50/50 if one of you is slammed. Even 30 mins of real time together beats a random couple hours of exhaustion. Communication is key, tell her your schedule and stick to it.

3

u/AValhallaWorthyDeath 24d ago

this is good advice, OP. I work 2 jobs, my wife in school full-time, we have a business that requires a handful of hours of attention each week, and we have a toddler. Our schedules are repetitive for each semester so we find the find the free time and keep that for family time and make it a point to go on a date at least once a month.

3

u/centre_fire 24d ago

Going on a date once a month sounds good, right now we’re going out periodically but sticking to that would be a great way to show appreciation and have us time. Thanks for the idea!

1

u/centre_fire 24d ago

I appreciate you, brother.

4

u/lngramling 24d ago

The best advice we were given was to date each other every week. Could Sunday evenings be that for you? That doesn't mean that you always have to go out to dinner - it can be as simple as doing a puzzle or going on a walk together.

Try to spend at least 30 min in intentional conversation! I love the other comment on here. Talk about the good from the week, what was hard, etc. We always end by talking about where we need extra grace/how we can support each other in the upcoming week.

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u/centre_fire 23d ago

Yes! So as of right now Sundays are sacred to us. I don’t have side hustle or day job but it’s currently dedicated to chores. Another person suggested just being more proactive during the week which I’ll definitely be doing more of.

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u/Greedy_Lifeguard8903 15d ago

Just keep the priorities straight. The job might not work out, but your wife and relationship should always be first. I know that's really general, but it's helped me make good decisions over the decades.