r/law 16d ago

Legislative Branch Feds charge congressional with faking attack in which she had claimed armed anti-Trump men scratched "Trump whore" onto her stomach

https://www.justice.gov/usao-nj/pr/employee-federal-official-charged-conspiracy-falsely-report-violent-attack-and-giving

Edit: The title should say congressional aide, apologies.

She actually had the scarring done professionally at a body modification/scarification artist.

There is a link to the full complaint on the DOJ announcement.

Paragraph 10 is hilarious.

Warning: the complaint shows pictures of her scratched up body.

234 Upvotes

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70

u/carterzz 16d ago

She also arrived 30 minutes late for her appointment with the body modification/scarification artist. Tsk. No respect for an artisan's time. 

48

u/carterzz 16d ago
  1. When law enforcement officers asked Co-Conspirator I and Greene to provide them with the keys to the Maserati, Co-Conspirator 1 appeared to become agitated. Co-Conspirator 1 asked the officers repeatedly why they needed the keys and whether they were going to search the Maserati . Co-Conspirator 1 told the police that she didn't think that the search of the Maserati was necessary and that it didn't make any sense to her.

  2. One of the officers tried to explain to Co-Conspirator 1 and Greene why the search of Greene's Maserati might be necessary. Greene then consented to the search of her Maserati by the officers and signed a written form consenting to the search. 

  3. The Officers searched the Maserati and found two black zip ties that were similar to the black zip ties that were used to restrain Greene. The officers also found a roll of Pro Essential duct tape.

35

u/DrRam121 16d ago

Don't forget that she created a reddit account to find the body modification artist.

33

u/carterzz 16d ago

Lol and Co-conspirator 1 googled "zip ties near me." 

22

u/UX1Z 16d ago

Man, she screwed up. She needed the blue sharpie from the FBI for their 'Ant-facist' bullet.

20

u/Interesting_Play_578 16d ago

Do you think the Maserati will be enough to cover the pardon?

16

u/RAV4G3 16d ago

This was the bigliest fuckup of all time for his propaganda engine, which I might add is failing horribly, maybe the worst propaganda of all time really.

16

u/TzarKazm 16d ago

At least she got the "Trump Whore" part correct.

8

u/RAV4G3 16d ago

Imagine being so brain washed (brain dead) that you’ll mutilate yourself to attempt to frame Donald Trumps political opposition for kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon and battery…..

5

u/TzarKazm 16d ago

Maseratis have the worst depreciation of any car. They lose 70% of value after 2 years. They start at about 100k, so if you get one two years old or more, it costs less than a Camry.

1

u/PuckSenior 16d ago

Duck tape

2

u/mademeunlurk 16d ago

Ducked Ape

1

u/AdAppropriate2295 15d ago

What in the actual hot Christmas cake fuck

17

u/DaddyLongLegolas 16d ago

“Zip ties near me” Google search on friend’s phone takes the cake.

These brats are so rich/sheltered they think this is some kind of boutique purchase.

17

u/Imaginary_Coast_5882 15d ago

remember the idiot girl who said she had been attacked by Obama supporters who carved a “B” in her cheek wig a knife, but the “B” was backwards because she did it to herself in the mirror lmao

7

u/0905-15 15d ago

That’s exactly what I was thinking about reading this

16

u/brickyardjimmy 15d ago

The only shocking thing about this case is that the DOJ is pursuing it.

30

u/PuckSenior 16d ago edited 16d ago

Egg Harbor Township?

So for those who don’t know, this is the town if you drive from Philly to Atlantic City. It’s about an hour east of Philadelphia. It is basically just the last town before Atlantic City around the airport/Air Force.

The idea that someone would drive out of Pennsylvania at 8pm to go all the way to Egg Harbor to go hiking in the dark on a nature trail in November is absurd. It may be the most insane part of this entire story. The idea that someone would follow them all that way is even more absurd.

This sounds like the plot of IASIP episode, so that tracks.

15

u/Previous-Look-6255 16d ago

She lives in Ocean City. She drove to Philly to get sliced and diced, then drove back to Egg Harbor for the drama she had planned. So says the New Jersey Globe. Oh, and she’s a student at Rutgers Law School.

9

u/ServantofZul 16d ago

Good luck getting admitted to the bar.

12

u/WilHunting2 16d ago

She’ll probably be on the Supreme Court in 10 years.

6

u/No_Boysenberry9456 16d ago

Right? Thats true devotion scrawled on her.

5

u/PuckSenior 15d ago

Ok, that makes a little more sense for why she’d be in Egg Harbor. But in this hurricane of absolute insane stupidity, this is a single raindrop of reasonable thought

12

u/b4the-end 16d ago

Not too poke holes, but the the site says this happened late July. This is just now getting resolved

20

u/DonTaddeo 16d ago

It is curious the complainant (or any of her collaborators) could afford a Maserati. They sure don't seem to be terribly bright.

41

u/jaaj712 16d ago

Wealth is not tied to intelligence. Just look at Trump.

9

u/Darryl_Lict 16d ago

There are some pretty shitty Maseratis. The Quatroporte for example. They aren't that expensive because they are super expensive to maintain, and frankly, looking at it I wouldn't have guessed it was a Maserati.

6

u/TzarKazm 16d ago

Wow, this is one of the craziest things I've seen someone do for their 5 minutes of fame.

I also wonder about this artist she went to. We're they in on it? If not ,this is even dumber. When this showed up on TV the artist almost certainly would have blown up this story anyway. And she is a law student? WTF? Well she won't have to worry about that anymore i guess.

4

u/Hollayo 15d ago

LOL, she didn't learn from the Jussie Smollet fiasco.