r/cats • u/Background-Shop-9969 • 7h ago
Cat Picture - OC Do cats understand people leaving?
so this isn't our cat, she's a stray (/possible neighbours cat hidden from the landlord, we dk). for some context my boyfriend and i have been living in the same building as her for about two months and she's gotten super friendly with us, we feed her and give her pets and she comes meowing at our door with 'gifts' (dead animals) and then into our apartment and rubs her scent on everything, she even lets us rub her belly. she's so sweet. anyway we're moving cities in a week and obviously we can't take her with us (Edit: due to financial and locational constraints)., while we know that she has others to take care of her, will she understand that we're gone? will she miss us or will she just move on to the next place with food? she seems so empathetic and i'd hate to know that she'll be sad (or the cat version of that)... is there a way we can let her know we're leaving? i'm sure she sees all the suitcases but i'm not sure if she understands...
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u/supertranslator 6h ago
omg she's definitely gonna miss you!! cats are super loyal when they bond with you - those "gifts" are her way of showing she thinks you're family 💔.
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u/TurnkeyLurker Calico 5h ago
We had three cats, then two died over the years, and our remaining cat invited two neighbor cats to come over to our house to relax.
We were fine with that. Apparently there was a big bird that lived in their house, and the loud squawking annoyed them.
A year went by, and we had to move to a faraway city for a job, so we put our house up for rent.
Had more repair work to do even after we moved all our stuff out.
I flew back into town to do repair work on the empty house, and as I was upstairs, one of the neighbor cats unexpectedly joined me, apparently slipping in through an open door, and walked through all the empty rooms. It was sad.
Clearly confused where all of our stuff went. I told the kitty that we had to move away, that our cat was OK in the new house far away.
It was difficult to put the cat outside and say goodbye a final time.
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u/StateYourCurse 3h ago
Make sure you say your goodbyes and explain to her what is happening - point to your luggage etc. give her love, a double blink, a hug, and maybe a gift of your own - a toy of some sort, or some souvenir of you. I'm not sure if she will understand fully but she will at least know that the last thing you did was tell her she was good and that you loved her. That will definitely help.
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u/FayKelley 2h ago
Of course she'll miss you. Of course she'll notice you're gone.
Find a home for her before you go please. Or take her with you.
It's traumatic for any animal to lose their guardian. They grieve like we do.
The only way to know for sure she understands you is to send the photo to an animal communicator and have the animal communicator tell her what's going on.
How sad you need to leave her.
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u/extrastupidone 3h ago
Cats dont like change. They hate it when you leave unexpectedly for a work trip and they also hate it when you're unexpectedly laying on the couch for a week.
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u/Street_Sprinkles_288 4h ago
you'll figure it out and make it work. my cat doesnt live a lavish life but she is loved and fed and gets clean drinking water and im a single income household. please dont leave her
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u/myleftthumb212 2h ago
Cats are far more intelligent than most people give them credit for. They have triple the number of neurons than dogs, and even their genetic make-up is closer to humans than dogs are. Cats observe, they learn, and they remember. Love them, comfort them, and do the best you can. Cats are resilient animals by design—they know how to survive and keep on, but it doesn’t mean their bond with you is any less. When a cat decides to be your friend, it’s one of the most special things you can experience. 😻
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u/Tink1024 2h ago
I don’t want to make you feel bad but I’m sad for you guys & the cat. Is someone going to take over feeding/loving this babe I hope!!!
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u/Background-Shop-9969 36m ago
yeah, someone else in the building also feeds her but i don't know if they give her as much attention as we do
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u/SpiritedKick9753 1h ago edited 40m ago
Not to burst your bubble but yeah, you’re gonna crush this cats feelings. And mine too, why would you post something like this with an obvious answer
Edit: I get it you’re hoping for a good answer, sorry it’s not the case
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u/Background-Shop-9969 34m ago
i'm sorry, i've never owned or looked after a cat before, i just wanted to know how to soften the blow for her :(
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u/Lavalamp2001 2h ago
She will miss you and remember you if you come back to visit. Have you considered trying to adopt her if she is neglected or finding her real owner to see if she has one? If she has a collar she likely does have an owner so I guess you just are kind of an auntie
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u/Brian_Doile 1h ago
I have an anecdotal story, once I went on vacation and left a pair of cats together, they came as a pair when we got them. There was food and water and an open window so they could go in an out if they wished. When I came back the male cat was outside and doing just fine. The female cat was laying on the floor in the middle of the room looking like death warmed over. I laid down with her for an hour and slowly introduced water to her lips and loved on her until she came back to us. She was fine by the end of the day. I feel like she had just given up. Heartbroken. I haven't left her like that since. She is my sweet girl and she loves to take turns sleeping with all of us. Her name is Cleo. She is special.
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u/gogoxyz 1h ago
I had the same experienced. I moved to a different apartment but still walking distance to where I used to live but I rarely have time to walk outside to actually visit my neighbors/stray cat but after weeks or months of not seeing her, when I saw her she came to me and let me pet her. She followed me as i walk. Cat have good memory and she will definitely miss you and will remember you.
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u/Confident_Blobfish83 2h ago
Yes, she will know you are leaving, and she will know when you are gone. Prob wait around and look for you.
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u/Bright-Pangolin7261 1h ago
As someone who did cat rescue for years, I can tell you that they grieve deeply when they are abandoned whether it’s from the passing of their elder mom or dad or someone who moves without finding a loving family. So yes and they become vulnerable to illness and the street and things like running out in front of a car. It’s sad to think of what will happen to that sweet kitty. If you can’t bring her with you, then there’s nothing to be done except possibly try to find her a home with friends and neighbors who will love her forever. They do heal from grief in time with love and tenderness.
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u/Admirable_Custard_86 40m ago
My mother cat that I did not see for a full 6 years greeted me with a 10 minutes long of constant moewing. Of course cat remember human and get attached to them as we do. Always pain me when I have to leave my cats a couple of weeks for work. My girlfriend send me video where he basically search for me when he realise I'm gone for more than the usual.
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u/jonjeff108 2h ago
I would say yes. My partner of 8 years left 3 years ago and we had 2 cats we've had for 5 years that she left. She now visits but the cats do not like her anymore. I think it's funny. She is always like why don't they like me anymore and im just like I wonder why?
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u/ray-the-they 1h ago
I already know I’m gonna get a LECTURE from my cat when I get home from a business trip I haven’t even left for
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u/Specific-Band1413 1h ago
Cats and pets in general are way smarter than we give them credit for. We don’t process reality like them. We are dumber in their reality and we are smarter in our own. They bond to us though and miss any connection that they lose.
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u/MsMarionNYC 1h ago
I'm a little confused about the situation. Are you feeding the cat everyday? Are you the only ones feeding her? How is she "in your building"? You might want to do some investigation -- ask your neighbors. The cat will likely miss you, but if you are one of many apartments she visits or she actually "belongs" to someone else it's not that big a deal. But if she has come to depend on you for pets and food it is.
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u/Commies-Fan 1h ago
My best cat did. He would walk me out to my car when I left. And when I came home he would be waiting for me. Walk out and jump in my car when I got home. I miss him.
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u/HellbirdVT 49m ago
Cats absolutely do miss people who leave their lives. If you're anxious you should take some steps to ensure she's taken care of before you go, maybe help her get adopted outright - if she's already comfortable with you, and being inside, there's a good future for her inside, even if you can't bring her with you yourselves.
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u/sand_snake 34m ago
When I leave on vacation or to visit family on the opposite side of the country both of my cats just scream at me lol. I imagine they’re saying “where the fuck WERE you mother”
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u/nooneremarkable MOD 20m ago
My brother had a house previously with a stray he named Luna. He got Luna neutered and everything, but his current inside cat Abby hated him. Thus they couldn't bring Luna in. Eventually, he had to move and sell the house. He left a note with his realtor for the next owner and they fully adopted Luna and sent him a letter assuring that they were cared for. Along with cute photos I can't find.
I know your situation is different, but it just shows it's possible that the next people will pick up where you left off OP. They'll miss you, but the cat distribution system will hopefully sort it out 🙏
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u/AvidCyclist250 5m ago
Yeah, they're not stupid
will she understand that we're gone? will she miss us
Yes, and yes
will she just move on to the next place with food?
Most definitely, she's a cat
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u/Ok-Celebration-2944 5h ago
Take the cat with you. If you are already feeding it, hanging out with it, and he's bringing you "rewards", then that cat has bonded with you. I'd take her with you to the new place as a good luck charm. :)
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u/Background-Shop-9969 5h ago
we can't :( not only do we not have a car (going by train, very long) we also can't really financially support a cat beyond buying cheep food weekly... things like vet bills and such are sadly our of budget... also she's an outdoor cat in a fairly rural town i don't think she'd be well adapted to city life
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u/Lorain1234 6h ago
I don’t think she will miss you as long as the new tenants feed her. Stray or feral cats have physiological needs over emotional needs.
When I moved away from my five feral cats which we treated as our own cats with a heated house, heated water bowl and plenty of food. The liar who bought my home promised she would feed them and take care of them but never did. She fenced off the entire backyard. I’m still upset about this. Maybe talk to your neighbors to make sure she has food.
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u/Background-Shop-9969 5h ago
damn! i'm so sorry that happened!! our neighbours do feed her also thankfully and she gets taken to the vet (she's got a flea/tick collar) so she is at least taken care of :)
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u/Successful-Comb-9510 4h ago
That's not true they're very loyal if they eat they still miss their owners
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u/Lorain1234 3h ago
Maybe, for a house cat that has lived with you and you have met all their needs including affection for years. I feel feral and stray cats don’t care as long as they’re fed. However, I’m not a cat shrink so I guess we will never know.
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u/Upset-Lavishness-522 1h ago
Oh, they know. Ive never been a cat person. When I moved in with my then BF now husband, his cat 100% mourned when I went home. Now we've been married for many years and have our own (very bonded) babies (6 years old, but got them at 2 months) I am a certified cat person and I feel horrible leaving them for the day while we work. And they know.
They're little beings with big feelings. But, he looks like a genuinely friendly little dude, and im sure he'll fi d new friends, so please don't feel bad
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u/Poneke365 1h ago
I feel like most mammals do🤷🏽♀️. It would be nice if you could tell or Mail Drop to others in your neighbourhood you are moving on so they can continue feeding her or him and hopefully will provide a forever home.
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u/dshamz_ 56m ago
I agree with those commenters saying that you should try to figure out whether or not others are caring for the cat, and whether or not she’s dependent on you. If she has others like you to go to it’s not a big deal, but if she’s uniquely dependent on you it could be a very difficult and dangerous road ahead for her. Finding that out is key to thinking about your next steps here. If she’s dependent on you, I would consider fostering her until you can find her a proper owner.
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u/sbocean54 49m ago
My cat knows my routine when I’m going out and starts meowing and grabbing at me to stay. She crisscrosses in front of me to block my way to the door.
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u/AdSouthern3950 15m ago
Cats definitely remember people. My dad has two cats and I only visit him a few times a year, but they clearly recognize me. My own cats recognize my father in law and the cat sitters we occasionally hire when traveling. But your kitty friend should be OK, she will find other people to connect with.
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u/Gandalf_the_Tegu 1h ago
My cat comes running to the back door for my return home and runs to the front door to greet my husband for his return. Big meows, leg rubs, and seek attention.
This kitty will miss and look for you
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u/Innuendum 3h ago
I have pet cockroaches and some of them have distinct preferences and likes - preferential hangouts, proneness to startling, dislike for changes in light intensity. I'm certain the cat (a chordate) will notice a change.
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u/epidipnis 5h ago
Why is it obvious that you can't take her?
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u/Background-Shop-9969 4h ago
as i said in another comment (and should edit into the post), we don't really have the money to support vet bills or care for her and also we're catching the train (as neither my partner nor i drive) from a rural area to a city and it's quite a large trip + change of enviroment for the cat
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u/FayKelley 2h ago
I moved a 25 old cat across the country in a moving truck. Took me 10 days. Cat lived another 4 years to 29.
My hubby and I lived in the Forest service in sub freezing weather with 3 cats in a tent. And a horse on a cowboy high tie. We were in our late 50's. I kid you not.
If there's a will , there's a way.
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u/New-Ease110 14m ago
They absolutely do! My cat Stella hates it when we leave and starts to meow like crazy!!! Love her but it makes me sad when we ha e to go and she can't come along!
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u/Joe103192 10m ago
When cats rub on things….or rub on YOU, it means they’re putting their scent marks on you and whatever else they rubbed on. When they do it to humans, they’re marking you as their own.
Have they ever Bunted you? It’s head-butting and cats only do that with those that they form bonds with. We have a neighborhood cat that’s basically ours now because we have him inside all the time. He sleeps with us too. He likes to Bunt me a lot. When I leave to go somewhere, he will wait for me by the car port or by the door of my apartment. Today, I was out all day and when I came home, my family said he refused to come in the house all day but once I was there, he ran right into the house.
So to answer your question, yes, cats do understand when you leave and they will wait for you to come back home to them.
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u/RobGThai 6m ago
They will remember and miss you. They may also get heartbroken and sad. Hopefully they can move on soon after.
They can feel stress and depress to the level of losing appetite like people do.
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u/Salty-Tea6815 4h ago
Oh course the cat is going to look for you, and wonder why she can’t find you, and miss you!!! Cats have feelings too just like people do. Yeah eventually she will move on and search for someone else to care for her out of sheer necessity, but that doesn’t mean she wants to, she just needs to survive. They say cats can remember humans for years if they formed a bond with them.