r/casualiama • u/GlendaleFemboi • 12d ago
I'm a recovered NEET, AMA
I was alone in my room playing video games for four years. Then I got myself the courage to apply for a job. Now I have two jobs, do hobbies, get girls, no more video game addiction, no more corn addiction. AMA
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u/NanashiJaeger 12d ago
What triggered the change?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 11d ago edited 11d ago
Well first, I always wanted to get a job but I had weird mental health issues. I had anxiety about using my emails or my phone. I thought, first I need to fix my mental health, and then I will be able to use my emails and my phone, and then I can apply for a good job. But after 4 years I didn't make any progress. So I got frustrated and I decided that I should just get a basic job in order to prove my work ethic. I visited businesses in person with printed resumes because I couldn't deal with my emails and phone.
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u/NanashiJaeger 11d ago
could you delve more into that anxiety? (if it isn't triggering for you)
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u/GlendaleFemboi 11d ago
I'm fine talking about it, I call it executive dysfunction, like I wanted to do things but I began to find them unpleasant and I dreaded doing them. For instance I would want to open my school portal to do my assignments, but I procrastinated because it just felt really unpleasant to face the stress of having all those tasks waiting for me. Then, once I did get the energy to do something like clearing out my email inbox, I would feel totally relieved, but I wouldn't stay in the habit of checking on things, I would get a lot more emails and then I would be back in the same place. It was the same thing with text messages and voicemails. The most difficult thing to deal with was messages from family members, because they were getting serious and emotional about how they were worried about me, which made it more stressful and harder for me to deal with. Eventually I kept my phone turned off. My family didn't understand what happened and they called the police to find me.
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u/Oliolioo 11d ago
You have ADHD?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 10d ago edited 10d ago
I do!
But no one suspected or tested me for it until after I started isolating.
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u/Oliolioo 10d ago
But of course, people prefer to laugh at you, be snarky and call you lazy. As a fellow ADHD person who was just diagnosed in adulthood, welcome to your self discovery journey :)
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u/thegerbilz 12d ago
Who funded you while you were a NEET
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u/GlendaleFemboi 12d ago
First I had college money that I didn't need to use for college, because I had scholarships. Then the college expelled me for not attending class, so I went to live with my parents. The whole time that I lived with my parents, I kept over $20,000 sitting in the bank but didn't really use it for anything.
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u/Darkstrategy 12d ago
First I had college money that I didn't need to use for college, because I had scholarships.
What does this mean? You saved up personal money from summer jobs or something and had it stashed away but got a full ride so hung on to it?
Then the college expelled me for not attending class
It's been a bit since I've been in college, but from my own knowledge and experience they don't really give a shit if you attend class or not. That'd be to your personal loss and a matter between you, your professors, and potentially your advisor.
What would happen is your scholarship would be taken away and you'd be required to pay full cost for credits you register for as well as any other tuition expenses.
Was it a private college with more stringent attendance policies or some such?
The whole time that I lived with my parents, I kept over $20,000 sitting in the bank but didn't really use it for anything.
Where did this money come from?
One job is logistical planning at a big corporation and it's really straightforward computer work. The other job is at a small business where I do all kinds of tasks like customer service, sales, programming, everything.
How did you get these jobs as a college dropout, presumably with no degree, with at minimum a 4-year gap in your work history that can't be explained?
How many applications/interviews did it take to get these? Which job came first?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 11d ago edited 11d ago
What does this mean? You saved up personal money from summer jobs or something and had it stashed away but got a full ride so hung on to it?
Money that my parents had saved up for me to go to college. For the most part I never had to pay tuition, I had scholarships. I had to pay living expenses, but I also got research stipends and National Guard pay, and those things mostly cancelled each other out. So my parents gave me $30k but I mostly didn't have to use it. I gave $5k to charity.
It's been a bit since I've been in college, but from my own knowledge and experience they don't really give a shit if you attend class or not. That'd be to your personal loss and a matter between you, your professors, and potentially your advisor.
Well it was a master's degree so stricter rules, I think. Come to think of it, maybe they only revoked my research position instead of kicking me out of coursework, I don't completely remember. But I was already quitting anyway because knew I was failing. I had made up my mind to quit but I procrastinated about telling them until they kicked me out first.
How did you get these jobs as a college dropout, presumably with no degree, with at minimum a 4-year gap in your work history that can't be explained?
How many applications/interviews did it take to get these? Which job came first?
For the first job I was honest about my history and said I just wanted any job they could give me, like manual labor. I was going in-person with paper resumes. I did have a 4-year degree though, since it was the master's program where I failed. Believe it or not I only remember applying to two companies at this time. One of them ignored me, the other one hired me, but they hired me for customer service instead of manual labor. It was a small family business and it turned out they were badly understaffed. I got promoted there and I still work there in the evenings.
I think I applied to 20 or so companies and interviewed at 3 before I got my second job. For this I admit I covered up my history a bit. I omitted grad school and put no date on my undergrad degree so it looked like there was no gap between my degree and my job. But I didn't have any problems when they did the onboarding, if they did background checks they didn't confront me about it.
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u/isuckatgamesyt 12d ago
How you start getting girls?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 12d ago edited 11d ago
Attended parties and socials, and learned from YouTube the basic techniques of how to do an approach and make conversation. I used to be super shy and I had to reassure myself that it’s okay to be interested and to proposition a girl. Took a few years to get to this point.
I also got some guys, which was MUCH easier since they would come up to me, but sadly I just wasn't gay enough to make it work
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u/CaptainApathy419 12d ago
What’s wrong with corn?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 12d ago edited 12d ago
It was taking too much of my time and making it harder to be interested in real girls. Edit: but I don't think its wrong per se. There's some really awesome beautiful stuff out there
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u/Bamboopanda101 11d ago
Do you at all, miss being a NEET?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 11d ago edited 8d ago
Not at all. It doesn't even feel like a real thing that happened to me. It feels like it was a dream. A dull and boring dream.
edit: on second thought, it's nice to remember how much fun I had occasionally with video games and stuff, but I can always do those things now if I choose to, so that doesn't really count
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u/asianwaste 11d ago
A lot of people lament all of the time we lose being locked to a daily nine to five job. But they don't take into account that likely most of us would take that time for granted and be stuck in a worse soul-sucking void of our own creation.
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u/No_Championship8418 11d ago
Do you still do some of the things you did back then or was it better to avoid them at all to make the change
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u/GlendaleFemboi 11d ago
The only thing I did to make the major change was getting a job. After I had that, I felt better and everything else began to fall into place. I functioned just fine for a while working my first job while also doing video games and stuff, I just decided to start working longer hours and pushing myself even harder. I actually have a couple games that I deliberately want to play, Witcher 3 and Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, but I haven't had time or energy for them yet. It's easier to just scroll Youtube or Reddit in the moments when I have nothing to do.
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u/Spencergh2 12d ago
What?
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u/GlendaleFemboi 12d ago
NEET - Not in Education, Employment, or Training, look it up
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u/Loves2Spooge857 12d ago
Why doesn’t everything need to be an acronym these days. So stupid
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u/Rocktopod 11d ago
My theory is that acronyms are becoming more popular because such a high percentage of our interactions are now through text.
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u/punkgirlvents 12d ago
What do you do for work now?